//------------------------------// // Chapter Eight: Wedding Bells // Story: The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Date Twilight Sparkle // by Codex Ex Equus //------------------------------// “And now,” said Shining Armor, forelegs crossed as he stared across the table in the seldom used conference room, “we need to have a talk.” Celestia, sitting opposite him, just nodded, avoiding eye contact and shuffling her hooves nervously on the tabletop. “Just what are your intentions regarding my sister?” Shining asked, then yelped as Cadance swatted him on the back of the head. “You sound like a fuddy-duddy,” she scolded, then broke into a brilliant smile. “It's true love, can't you see?! The purest in the world!” “No offense, but you said that about butter and toast this morning,” Shining Armor replied dryly. “No, no, it's a legitimate question,” broke in Celestia, “especially after the... particularly tactless outburst by Chrysalis earlier.” She took a deep breath, let it out, and then met Shining Armor's eyes squarely. “I am in love with your sister, Shining Armor. I love Twilight Sparkle. She... she means the world to me.” Shining Armor looked into her eyes for a long moment, then let out a groan and buried his face in his hooves. “Ugh, this is a mess. I mean, you raised her from a filly! Even then, did you... I mean, were you purposefully bringing her up to be...” Celestia let out a snort. “Please, Shining Armor. I can bend events to my will, I can manipulate ponies into doing what I want. But I can only use what is there. Even I cannot change a pony's mind, cannot make them into something they aren't. Everything that is wonderful about Twilight, everything that makes her the perfect, beautiful mare she is, is purely her. It is mere coincidence that I happened to take her on as my student. “As for how long I have felt this way... I don't know. I only realized it myself scant days ago. I would say, though, that when she freed my sister from the darkness of her own mind, that may have been, if not the start, then at least the moment things became... more concrete.” “Having known her since she was a filly is still an issue,” insisted Shining Armor. “You were practically a second mother to her, and the age difference—” “Is hardly something you should be concerned about, given the century or two between you and your wife,” Celestia shot back heatedly. “Am I to be denied the heart of every pony who isn't as old as Equestria? Denied every pony I bring up in my schools, every pony who's life I have a hoof in as they grow from foal to adult?” Her eyes narrowed as she stared across the table at Shining Armor. “Because at that point, the only option I have left who isn't a blood-relation is your pretty little wife there, sitting next to you. And you do not want me as competition, Guard Captain.” Both Shining Armor and Cadance were staring at her, mouths hanging open, and a slight blush on Cadance's face. “Ahem.” Celestia cleared her throat, sitting back. “Sorry. It has been... many years since I was in a relationship. Apparently, I have become somewhat... passionate in regards to that subject.” “Is that why you're going to 'bang' my little sister?” muttered Shining. Cadance gasped. “Shining Armor!” “No, Cadance, that needs to be addressed too.” She faced Shining Armor head on again. “Despite Chrysalis's... lack of refinement, she wasn't. I love Twilight, and part of that is wanting to make love to her. I, however, would not phrase it as crudely as Chrysalis did.” Celestia tilted her head to the side, considering a thought for a moment. “Although, if Twilight wants to bang, there's a reason I had my bed reinforced with titanium.” “CELESTIA!” Shining Armor was horrified, but Cadance looked delighted. Celestia waved a hoof at them. “Oh, calm down. I was kidding. Mostly.” She turned to Shining Armor. “Well? Do I have your approval?” He looked away for a moment, then sighed. “Yes. I suppose I can't really ask for better for her than the all-powerful ruler of the kingdom. And the Royal Guard isn't really trained to deny you anything you ask, anyway.” “Thank you, Shining Armor,” said Celestia gravely, inclining her head. “I will ask the same of your parents, but I have no fear of their responses now. You are, I feel, more protective of her than anyone else.” “I know.” He laughed a bit. “It's kind of funny. So many years later, it turns out her schoolfilly crush actually feels the same way.”         “S-she really had a crush on me?!” gasped Celestia. “Chrysalis was right about the spark she said she felt?” "Oh yeah." Shining Armor gave a little laugh. "I have to admit, it seemed a lot cuter back then, when she was just a little filly with a crush on her teacher. It was more innocent." He winced. "I'm not saying I think there's anything wrong with your feelings, it's just—" "No, no, I understand." Celestia sighed. "I guess Chrysalis's theory was true, then. She loved me, but she gave up on that love. It's… ironic. She loved me, but I had no idea, and at that point I wouldn't have been able to return her feelings anyway. And now that I can… she's given up on me. The wrong time for both of us...'" "I don't think it was," Cadance said gently. "If she told you of her crush, you would have had to let her down gently. At her age, there wouldn't have been any other choice. But now she's had time to mature, and your feelings have as well. All you need to do now is reawaken the feelings I'm sure Twilight still has." "I hope you're right. I hope it will be that… easy." Despite her words, Celestia sounded anything but hopeful. "Well, I don't know if 'easy' is the word I would use, but with a good plan, things are sure to go your way." Cadance gave her a cheery smile. "So, what's your plan then, Celestia?" “I'm going to tell Twilight I love her,” replied Celestia. There was a long moment of silence. “And?” asked Cadance finally. “There needs to be more?” “Uuuughhhh.” Cadance buried her face in her hooves. “You can't just walk up to her and say 'hey, let's date'! When Shining Armor wanted to ask me out, he did this whole thing with a parade float and singing and a big dumb plan for the prom!” “Hey! It wasn't dumb!” objected Shining Armor indignantly. “Oh, it was so dumb. That's what made it so cute. The point is, Celestia, you need to do something besides just tell her your feelings. You need to make a grand gesture to her, to show her how you feel.” “I could... give her a gift?” “Okay, that's good, I guess. What kind of gift?” “Um...” Celestia looked around in desperation. “Flowers?” Cadance sighed. “The only thing I've seen Twilight do with flowers is eat them. You need to think of something that she would cherish, something that comes from the heart.” “...books?” “She does like books,” Shining Armor pointed out. Cadance groaned. “You really think that's a good idea? She lived in a library. I know for a fact she read every single book in that library at least once. You actually just gave her your own personal library for her new castle.” “But...” Celestia's eyes were starting to brighten, the glimmer of an idea forming. “If I got her a special book, a book that means something to her...” “Okay, that's good,” said Cadance, nodding. “Any idea on what book?” Celestia stared down, frowning in concentration, tapping her hooves on the tabletop. Suddenly, she looked up, face glowing. “Starswirl's Treatise on Harmony!” she exclaimed. “It's his definitive work on the Elements of Harmony. He spent hours interviewing Luna and I, and even longer studying the Elements.” “The Treatise?” Cadance frowned. “Wouldn't she already have a copy of that? Like you said, it's the definitive piece of work on the Elements. I think I've even got a copy of it back in the Crystal Empire.” “Yes, but not the first edition!” Celestia was growing excited, and had gotten up and started pacing back and forth. “It's one of the rarest books there is. If I could find that for her...” “Well then, where can we find one?” “I don't know, but I know where we can find out.” Celestia pointed a hoof at the door. “To the Royal Canterlot Library!” “I forgot how interesting this book was,” said Cadance, the Treatise on Harmony open before her. “I particularly like his theories on how the Elements function.” “You're just reading a later edition, too,” said Celestia absentmindedly, flipping through her own book, a history on Starswirl. “The theories in the first edition were much more... 'out there'. He refined them down to the theories he felt were more realistic in later printings. It's one of the things that makes that first edition so fascinating and rare.” With a sigh, she closed her book. “This isn't helping. We need to get some books on collectors; they're the only ones who would have had a copy of the original Treatise after the first few printings.” Cadance and Celestia moved off among the shelves to find the books, while Shining Armor stayed at the table they'd appropriated and kept going through the books they had already gathered. As they browsed, a massive explosion suddenly rocked the library. “W-what was that?!” cried Cadance, eyes wide. "Oh dear," Celestia said worriedly, turning back towards the reading area. "Shining Armor?" she called, raising her voice, “can you go look out, let's see... one of the western windows and tell me what you see?”  A loud gasp came a moment later. “I-it's Luna's tower! It looks like the entire top floor was blown off!” "Hmm. What color are the flames and smoke?” "They look green." "That's… interesting." “What exactly is going on?” asked Cadance, concerned. “Do you know what happens when you give love freely to a changeling Queen? And what happens when they return that love?” “N-no...” Celestia tsk'd. “Didn't you read the paper on changelings that Twilight prepared after the invasion?” “Um, well, I skimmed it. I guess I don't read everything Twilight gives me as raptly as you do.” Celestia blushed, turning her attention back to the bookshelves. “Well, in any case, let's just say Luna's about to get a little lesson in changeling biology...” They were still going through the books, and had actually started making at least a little bit of progress, when the doors to the library opened. Luna and Chrysalis walked in, side by side, their tails entwined. Chrysalis kept looking at Luna's face, eyes adoring. Luna, for her part, walked with her head held high, not even glancing over at the changeling Queen. They came up to the table, where Shining Armor stared with his mouth open, Cadance vibrated with glee, and Celestia was doing her best not to let the smirk show on her face. “Sister. Niece. Nephew.” Luna nodded at each in turn, not quite making eye contact with any of them. “I... we, have returned.” There was a moment of silence as they all stood, taking each other in. Chrysalis began nuzzling up against the side of Luna's neck, and while Luna didn't return the affectionate gesture, she didn't push the Queen away either. Finally, Luna cleared her throat. “Sister, would you mind if I had a word with you? Um, alone?” Celestia was still struggling to keep herself from grinning, but nodded. “Of course, Luna. We can go over into the stacks.”          “Thank you.” First, though, Luna had to get Chrysalis detached. That involved separating their tails, then convincing her to stay behind. Finally, after many whispers of “I'll be right over there” and “Yes, I'll miss you too,” Chrysalis sat at the table, looking at Shining Armor and Cadance through narrowed eyes. Celestia was enjoying her sister's obvious discomfort, until she caught the start of Chrysalis and Cadance's conversation as she and her sister moved away into the library. "I have demands you must meet… er, a favor to ask of you," announced Chrysalis loudly. “I guess we could help you,” replied Cadance warily. "Depending on what you want, of course." “Would you mind, maybe, planning my wedding? I-if Luna asks. No doubt your fear and hatred of me is still great, and that is appropriate, but—” High-pitched squealing was the last thing Celestia heard from the table as they rounded a bookshelf, but that had been enough. Now Celestia was troubled. She hadn't expected the bond to affect Chrysalis so strongly, nor had she thought the changeling would become so... enamored with her sister. The problem was, the Queen was taking things seriously. Luna, on the other hoof, had never had anything resembling a real relationship with anypony, at least as far as Celestia had seen. Chrysalis's reaction to Luna wanting nothing to do with her after this was probably not going to be good. Which, given that she had already conquered Equestria once, meant things would most likely not end in a pleasant way. “So, Luna, finding your new friend to be a bit clingy?” said Celestia, arching one eyebrow. “She has definitely become... affectionate,” replied Luna warily. “Rarely have I seen somepony become smitten so fast.” “You didn't read Twilight's report either, did you?” asked Celestia with a sigh, and Luna shook her head. "Tell me then sister, when you are… with a pony, as you were with Chrysalis, do you love them?" "Do you think us some common street trollop, seeking mere pleasures of the flesh betwixt bedsheets?" Luna demanded, bristling. "Aye, the pleasure is part of it, but we do this out of love for our subjects, and yes, even our enemies. And we see no reason to stand here as thee attempts to sully our expression of affection and care for each citizen of our kingdom." Luna turned and started to trot away until Celestia held up a hoof. "Calmly, sister, calmly," she said placatingly, head bowed. "I meant no disrespect by asking. I merely wanted to know if you gave any love to the Queen." "Then yes, I did. I loved her as I have loved countless ponies throughout the ages, as we lay upon the bed, bodies entwined and sweat-soaked, our tongues gently—"         "Okay, okay, I get the point." Celestia grimaced. "I don't need a detailed description. The last thing I want to do is form a mental picture."         "Then thou should not have asked," harrumphed Luna, lifting her chin and turning away.         "I needed to know so I could explain what happened, both to you and to myself. It is unfortunate that we know so little about the changelings, and what we do know largely consists of rumors, hearsay... and sometimes just plain lies."         Celestia slipped into lecture mode, starting to pace back and forth. “Changelings eat love. They do this by using their shape-changing powers to take the form of a pony and feed off the love they receive from that pony's loved ones. Which is all well and good, generally no huge problems or mysteries there. “But Queens are a bit different from the drones, and things get really weird when they receive love voluntarily and reciprocate that love. It creates a kind of feedback loop. I had no idea, though, that it would result in such an... energetic outburst.” “Yes, you may have noticed that my bedroom no longer has a roof,” Luna replied dryly. “I'm sorry about that. Had I known it would be that powerful, I would have stopped you. Apparently that's the reason why they say changeling Queens, um, 'mate' for life. They aren't talking about the Queen's life. But, of course, you are not a normal mortal pony, now are you?” Celestia grinned broadly, but the smile quickly ran from her face. “You knew this would happen,” said Luna flatly. It wasn't a question. “I did, to a degree” admitted Celestia apologetically. “I thought it would be amusing, but I may have gone too far by not warning you. Had I know even a fraction of that kind of damage could occur, I would have stopped you from taking the Queen. Even worse than the destruction of your bedroom, though, are the other consequences. "What happened formed a… a bond of some sort between Chrysalis and you. Just as a baby bird will imprint on the first thing it sees after hatching, so has she imprinted on you: the first pony she has ever loved… and the first to ever show her love. Perhaps it is a survival trait of the changelings, to keep the source of so much love close by for the good of the hive. "But… I think I did a terrible thing by allowing you to go through with this without trying to warn you. It was a terrible thing to do to both of you, and the fact that I didn't know the full extent of what would happen is no excuse. Luna... Chrysalis cares about you very much now. She loves you, in fact. I think you need to have a serious talk with her.” Luna was quiet for a time, staring down at her hooves, lost in thought. Finally, she raised her head and nodded firmly. “You are right, sister, as always. Chrysalis... is a very sweet mare. Never have I met one so gracious, one who cares so much about me, aside from yourself. The words she spoke to me, complimenting me on my beauty... her adoring speeches to my kindness, and how loved I made her feel... I found them to be very flattering and pleasing.”          “What.” “She is most beautiful, as well. The smooth black of her chitin, her long hair, soft and luxurious, the way the light shines through her gorgeous wings, those almost hypnotic eyes... and even if, for some unfathomable reason, I were to tire of all that, she is a shape-changer as well! She can appear to be any pony—or any creature, for that matter—I want, but still be herself under it all.” “What.” “And physical appearances aside, rarely have I experienced such a keen mind, such sharp wit! I could spend days conversing with her, just listening to her talk, even without her incredible voice. She could speak of anything, and I would listen, just because it's her doing the speaking." Luna let out a happy sigh. “I don't ever want to be apart from her. I think... I think she is the one, Celestia. I think she is the pony I have been searching for all this time, all these years.” “L-Luna... Luna, that's Queen Chrysalis you're talking about. You know, the Changeling Queen who ponynapped our niece, nearly stole her fiancé, defeated me in single combat, and actually had control of all of Equestria, even if it was only for a few minutes?” “You do remember when I did much the same thing, don't you sister?” Luna shot back archly. “And besides, she has already apologized to me for that.” “She... she did?” said Celestia, blinking in surprise. “Of course. She said she was very sorry that she attempted to conquer Equestria and failed, and that she is sure it will not happen a second time.” “Luna, that's not... that's not really an apology...” “Pish posh, sister, of course it is. The entire ordeal was very upsetting to her. She even asked if any ponies got hurt during the, er, 'invasion'. She seemed very concerned about their well-being. Why, I would say she cares for our subjects as much as we do ourselves!” “Luna, that's because she sees them as cattle!” exclaimed Celestia desperately. “All of our subjects are just food to her and her subjects!” “Yes, exactly!” cried Luna happily. “Much as young Applejack loves and cares for her trees, so does Queen Chrysalis and her hive love all the ponies of Equestria!” “Luna, that's not... she tried to... she almost...” Celestia let out a long sigh and just gave up. “Yes, Luna, you're right. She is a very nice mare. I'm... I'm happy for you.” “Thank you, sister! I knew you would approve.” Luna gave Celestia a quick hug with one foreleg. “Come, let us rejoin the others. I am glad we had this talk.” Celestia's head hung down as they walked back. This was her punishment for something, she just knew it. Maybe it was for not stopping Luna when she took the Changeling Queen away, for not warning her what would happen. Or maybe it was because she had thought it a simple joke, to toy with their feelings as she had. Whatever it was, this nightmare her life had become was entirely her own doing. Chrysalis nearly tackled Luna when the two sisters reappeared from the stacks, abandoning her conversation with Cadance and the still somewhat uncomfortable-looking Shining Armor to leap over and wrap her forelegs around Luna's neck. “I missed you,” she buzzed, wings fluttering nervously. “And I you,” replied Luna, with a gentle smile. “I trust you had a productive conversation with Equestria's number one love expert about our upcoming wedding while I was gone?” “You mean you... you really want to...” Chrysalis looked at Luna with shining eyes, unable to find the words she needed to continue. “Yes. I had a conversation with my sister that made things much more clear to me, and she has approved of our relationship.” Luna waved a hoof at Celestia, who chuckled weakly. “If you would have me, if you feel the same way I do about you, then it would make me most joyous to have your hoof in marriage.” “Oh, Luna, yes! Yes, a thousand times yes!” They kissed, with such passion and love that even Celestia felt her heart warming up to the changeling Queen. Just a bit; Chrysalis had blasted her across a room, after all. But her sister was happy, and that went a long way toward earning some forgiveness. “We are off, then,” said Luna when they separated, a slight flush on her face. “We have much to do. Even aside from the wedding, we must still work out many things, such as my darling's living situation, and the integration of the changelings into Equestrian society now that they will be becoming citizens.” “Remember, no major policy or diplomatic decisions without me! That goes for signing new laws into effect, too!” called Celestia after them as they trotted out, tails entwined once again, this time staring into each other's eyes. Softly, they could hear singing coming from Chrysalis: “This day has been just perfect...” “The kind of day of which I've dreamed since I was small,” finished Luna, leaning against the changeling as they disappeared through the doors. “Well, that's good. I guess,” said Shining Armor after a moment. Celestia gave her head a shake to clear it. “Now that we've helped those two find love, maybe we can work on me and Twilight? I think we've done all we can here. It's clear that if we're going to find a copy of this book anywhere, it's going to be with a collector. A private collector of some kind; there seems to be no record of it in any museums or exhibitions for the last few centuries. I suggest we head out into downtown Canterlot and start asking around in rare bookshops.” A chorus of screams came from the halls outside the library. “And since we should do at least the initial investigating in disguise, to avoid tipping our hoof as to who exactly is looking for this book, I suggest you stay behind, Shining Armor. Aside from your inability to disguise yourself, it sounds like some of the castle inhabitants may need some calming when they meet—” Celestia gave a small wince “—the pony who is going to become Equestria's newest Princess.” Shining Armor sighed, trotting towards the door. “Always the fun jobs for us in the Guard, huh?” “If you can't take a joke, you shouldn't have signed up,” said Celestia, returning the grin he gave as he exited through the doors in pursuit of the two royals. “They really do make a cute couple, don't they?” said Cadance from Celestia's side. “It was nice to see you approve of their relationship like that.” “If it makes Luna happy, it makes me happy too. Even if it doesn’t actually make me very happy.” She gave a sidelong glance at the smaller alicorn. “Your enthusiasm, on the other hoof, seems quite authentic.” “Of course!” Cadance clapped her hooves excitedly. “Chrysalis wants me to plan the wedding! A royal wedding! A job made for the Princess of Love! I didn't get to do the last one since it was mine, of course.” “Of course, of course. I'm just glad to see you're so happy about Chrysalis joining the family. Oh, but I guess you'll be calling her Auntie Chrysalis from now on, won't you?” With a flash of light, Celestia summoned her camera from her bedroom, snapped a picture of Cadence’s face, and then sent the camera back. She smiled, feeling her spirits rise. She had thought this a nightmare, a hell of her own creation she was trapped inside. But now, no matter what happened, however bad things got, she would always have that picture to cheer herself up with.