• Member Since 28th Dec, 2014
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Wintermist


E
Source

It's not easy to go back to your life after a thousand years of insanity and exile. It's not easy for Luna to even leave her room. All the same, there's a special somepony that Luna desperately wants to get closer to, and that's worth facing the outside for. All she has to do is get up the nerve to talk to her.

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 74 )

I will have to read this one later

TwiLuna is magic =3

"I have been designing a courtship broach for her.

brooch

Well, that was adorable.

8051662 After all the spell checking I did, I mucked up the obvious one. Thanks - fixed, I think.

I loved it! You captured Luna's doubt and sincerity so well, and the relationships between every character were spot on :scootangel: Thank you so much for the sweet story!

I liked it but I feel like I've read this before. Was this a rewrite or something?

8051843 Nope, this is original. Twiluna isn't exactly a rare concept, though.

14.5K words of TwiLuna?

Nice!

Yo Luna is so adorable in this story. I really enjoyed reading it.

8051865
Oh I know that seeing as it makes up the majority of what I read. It is just I feel like I've read some of these scenes before particularly the parts with Luna getting mad or timid at Twi's door. Knowing me, it is a bad case of deja vu. I seem to experience that a lot.

This is magnificent and you should feel magnificent for writing it.

Brilliant story. Just brilliant! :raritystarry:
The timing didn't seem rushed, the characters felt natural, there were no plot holes I could see, glorious punctuation and vocabulary, good shipping material and it felt really relatable, definitely going on my favorite list! How have I never read any of your other stories before!
*Checks other stories*:rainbowderp:
That maybe why... Well if all your stories are as good as this one, I'm willing and ready to have a very open mind!
But I think I should wait for the cover of night first

I have to say, I'm not that much of a fan of TwiLuna (apart from the 'adult' versions). Twilight is one of my most shipped ponies and there's a few ships with her that I prefer before TwiLuna and I always hate excluding some of them because Twilight is now 'taken'.

But really, the way that you write it. You've got such a way with words that you'd be able to write a fic about everyone dying and have me love it. This story was sweet, funny in the right places and had such great set-up for everything. Their characters felt real and believable.

I knew there was a reason why I am a fanboy of yours :moustache:

Also, the epilogue epilogue was so sweet and teasing that I'm gonna die.

Some magic, perfect words that would make Twilight want to be with her, and hold her, and - well, not magic words, that wasn't what she meant

I can't help but think this is a reference to Friendship is Mind-control :p

Her ears grow hot, a terrible humiliation choking off the rest.

grew

"There'll be a party at Sweet Apple Acres!" Twilight burst out, speaking quickly.

Something tells me that Twilight is very much also trying to ask Luna out on a date.

It was with a start that Luna suddenly realised that the golden light of the sun had dwindled in the west, a great red-orange disk framed by streamers of cloud that glowed pink and gold. In the distance, a small but incredibly swift speck could be made out, shunting the clouds into perfect romantic sunset configuration. It was too far away to see if she was wearing a moustache.

This nearly made me laugh out loud :rainbowlaugh:



I now bestow upon you the title of WordWizard. Wear it proudly.

8051790 8052328 Proof reading is always welcome! No matter how thorough you are, you always miss a few when you're reading your own work. I try to do it by reading through the paragraphs in reverse order, to break the flow of the story. All the typos you spotted are fixed now :twilightsmile:

I like it. I'm also incredibly happy that it actually ended with them getting together. Too many of these just end up being a bunch of awkward almost did it moments.

Good old TwiLuna. Haven't read any of that in a while.

As always, your stuff is awesome.

A non-anthro, non-mature story? From MY Wintermist?! :pinkiegasp:

I was quite surprised, to be honest. And it was wonderfully written, as always. Seeing new stories and updates from you is always a real treat when they appear. Plus Tuna is one of my favorite ships! (Why people call it TwiLuna is beyond me; calling it 'Tuna' is far more entertaining in my view) I look forward to what you write up next, WM, as I always do. :twilightsmile:

More proofreading suggestions, too! :derpyderp1:

Nonetheless, her time in Ponyville had encouraged her to blossom, and it occurred to Luna to wonder just how many pony's hearts had foundered and broken against the cliffs of Twilight's sheer inability to recognise their interest.

Floundered; recognize.

8052672 In this case, I must correct your corrections! Foundered means for a ship to fill with water and sink, and I use recognise with an 's' because I am British.

8052719 Ah, fair enough. I was not aware that "foundered" was a word, tbh, even given my pretty diverse vocabulary. "Floundered" does fit in the context of the sentence as well, though, which is what threw me off (specifically the second definition on Dictionary.com — "to struggle clumsily or helplessly").

I'll concede the point on the recognize/recognise debate. :derpytongue2:

Too cute...can't contain...cuteness....!:pinkiegasp:

This was wonderfully sweet and a cute piece. I loved Luna and her bouts of insecurity. Well done.

Well, that was adorable.

Loved the story, but there are a couple of mistakes with the Early Modern English, particularly the use of Whence. Whence specifically means "from where" and Whither means "to where", so

"Whence has Rainbow Dash gone?"

should be "Whither has Rainbow Dash gone?"

Furthermore, "from whence" is redundant, since whence already implies the "from", so

from whence the cough had came

would generally be said as "whence the cough had come." That one's a bit less egregious, since there are examples of "from whence" from the appropriate time, particularly to fit into a meter, but I suspect a native speaker wouldn't bother with the "from".

And one more thing - the use of "Thou" and "Thee" were mostly correct, but

but not even for my sake can thee do such a thing

should have be "thou".

I apologise for the nitpicks, but, well... I really like Whither and Whence as words - both in sound and utility - so I tend to notice when they're used incorrectly. Though, frankly, I like that they're used at all.

Absolutely charming to a fault. Twiluna is one of my favorite pony pairings, and this story is a classic example of why that is. Luna's awkwardness is adorable and I can certainly identify with her constant catastrophizing. Very nice job. I'm certainly looking forward to your next story.

This feels like it dropped out of a time warp from five years ago in all the right ways. Warm and sweet and awkward, and a touch nostalgic besides. Well done.

I always love twilina, but this was just so perfect and Luna is so relatable and awkward and she's trying so hard it reminds my of myself attempting to talk to crushes. I absolutely adore the brooch at the end because ~of course~ twilight would know exactly what that was. Honestly Luna should have given her the brooch to start with and twilight would have actually figured everything out so much sooner. :heart::facehoof:Silly Luna, making things more complicated than they need to be. :twilightsmile:
Also the mustaches :moustache:

8053270 Curse you, early modern english! I've fixed the first and third, and left the middle one alone; it scans better.

"Um. Not recently, if you exclude Pinkie."

Pinkie is usually unusual.

Obviously, the polite thing to do was to write back.

Indeed.

She was going to ask Twilight Sparkle on a date.

That IS what the title of this implies, yes.

Luna was beginning to develop a deeply adversarial relationship with Twilight's front door.

This amuses me greatly.

She looked around frantically, for any kind of shelter.

You can teleport.

"I am a Princess of Equestria," said Luna, with ruffled dignity, getting to her hooves, "and it isn't nice to startle ponies."

I doubt the bird cares.

Luna looked away, the words fighting their way out of her lips one by one. "She was... hugging, and... kissing... a watermelon." Her ears grew hot, a terrible humiliation choking off the rest.

... Right, I forget, dreams don't make sense.

Was it Luna's imagination, or had she heard the young, high voice of Spike muttering in exasperation, 'Good grief,' from the top of the stairs?

No, he ships it too.

"I was just going to go out to the market when you knocked, actually," Twilight replied, sipping her tea. "There's a stall in town today that is selling some ingredients I need for glue. For book binding. It has to be a very special glue to hold together for a long time. You could come, if you like."

it does, since paper is quite fragile and if you use the wrong kind of glue, it could end very poorly.

What was she going to wear?

Your usual regalia? Or nothing, like quite a lot of ponies in Equestria.

Those were the smiles of ponies that were nervous, or even just afraid, and covering it.

To be fair, you're twice the size of most ponies here and royalty.

Rainbow Dash, for her part, was laughing hysterically at the whole scene.

Naturally.

"It was... he said you said you were a Princess of Equestria... and you're kind of... distinctive."

She has a point.

"Of course! I hide in bushes from ponies I want to talk to all the time. I know what it's like to have all your words sit in your chest, and they're too heavy to get out of your mouth." Fluttershy's eyes were bright with unexpected empathy and fellow feeling.

You're a good mare, Shy.

Rainbow burst out of the sheltering bush, a determined look on her face, and Luna froze. Before the cyan pony could take more than a step towards the two of them, however, Fluttershy lunged out, grabbed Rainbow's tail and dragged her back in. The bush shook.

That happened.

Who, almost certainly, now recognised that she was being courted.
Almost certainly.

You underestimate Twilight's capacity to be oblivious.

Perched above, Luna lurked sheepishly in a cloud and willed the clock hands to move faster.

Last I checked, chronomancy isn't something you know how to do.

"Ah, how honoured we are to have the Princess of the Night and Celestia's protégé here this evening! You bring light to my humble establishment. Please, this way. I shall show you to your table."

So how's the brown on your nose?

Luna's head jerked up. Pinkie stood in the arched doorway, wearing a vast black moustache that was the twin of the one gracing the owner of the establishment. Her voice lowered into a boom, she added, "No rush, no rush, ho ho."

Pinkie, what are you doing?

Regardless, Twilight didn't seem to have noticed the replacement of the real waiter from behind her menu, but how in Equestria was Luna going to stop Pinkie Pie from getting in the way?

You don't. It's probably not a good idea to try and stop Pinkie.

Twilight lowered her menu and gave a soft giggle, shaking her head. "She's not very good at disguises, is she."

Nope.

"...did she by any chance press this dress upon you this afternoon, Twilight? While looking rather tired, perhaps, as though she had not slept well?"
Twilight blinked at her. "Yes, that's right. How did you know?"

Because they share a voice actress.

"Pinkie, I refuse to wear this!"
"You have to wear your disguise, silly! Otherwise they'll know it's you!"

They'll know either way.

Twilight blinked, and reached out for her glass. Sniffing it, she said curiously, "I thought Ponyville had run out of the Apple family cider?"
"Ha, well. Might be folks don't know about a stash we keep back."

Indeed.

It was too far away to see if she was wearing a moustache.

Knowing Pinkie, probably.

Twilight was looking at a clock mounted high in the distance, puzzled. "It can't be sunset yet. It's not due for another twenty three minutes."

Celestia ships it.

Turning from the balcony, Luna met Twilight's eyes, and to the young pony's astonishment, the look on Luna's face was that of a pony taking her courage in her hooves. "Yes, Twilight. I have been - unsuccessfully it seems - seeking to court thee."
Twilight looked at her blankly, too stunned for any other emotion to register. "But - I'm just an ordinary pony! Why me?"

You saved her from madness. That's a good factor.

"Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. A yes for every star in the sky, and we shall count them together."

Very poetic.

The soft blush on Twilight's cheeks deepened. "I, um, it could be nice, but I don't have much experience, so..."

Shut up and kiss her.

"And if you sit there, with the mysterious smile that implies the same thing, I will do it anyway. I am filled with love, and joy, and hope, and I will pour thy tea over thy head if I have to."

GOOD.

Also, with how Luna was struggling to adapt to modern speech in the beginning, I realized that I really would like a TwiLuna fic where Luna accidentally slips back into ancient equestrian, only for Twilight to effortlessly start talking in ancient equestrian too. Not to mock her but as a sign of respect and to put her at ease. That, or she takes an interest in the language and asks Luna to teach her, which would be a good oppertunity for Luna to spend time together and try and court her :p

its always nice to find a story and realize mid consumption that it is going to be a classic. thank you for sharing.

only loophole i could think of is spike not finishing telling twilight about luna showing up every week. or yelling to date.

Loved this one! Very nicely done. I think I'd have kept it from Luna's perspective throughout; given the amount of time spent in Twilight's POV compared to Luna's, seeing Twilight's inner thoughts so briefly felt out of place. Other than that, good show!

8053831
Start with “Thy Words…” by Lady Grey, which is a great short piece showing Luna’s troubles with modern language and Twilight’s troubles with alicorn magic, leading to a wonderful bonding moment. There’s also “I Watch the Moon” by zeus_tfc, in which Luna enjoys has Twilight read to her after discovering language changed so much in the last thousand years that now she's functionally illiterate. Also "Canterlot Consequences" by Kinsfire, in which Celestia (eventually) asks Twilight to tutor Luna in modern language, which comes off as more than a bit shippy.

Not sure it’s been done as the main relationship device of a longer piece; love to see it, though.

Cute level....this.

Cute as heck! Reads like an episode straight out of the series. Adorable ponies are adorable.

More pls. Lol, ar first I wasn't sure if this was gonna be good but it turned out great.

Oh.
This is...perfect. Hilarious and romantic and genuine and...perfect. You captured Luna's awkwardness flawlessly, Twilight's reactions are almost spot-on, and the whole thing felt like it could feasibly be an actual episode. Adding in the mane six all trying to help at the end was a brilliant move, beacuse of course that's what they'd do. It just all feels like it fits so naturally into the world. Amazing. You have simultaneously written one of my favourite short romance fics and favourite comedy fics.
Have a like
Have a follow
Have a favourite.
Brilliant.

Both have one thing in common: nocturnal pets.

Very nice story. I like Twiluna now because of this.

This is one of the best and most heartwarming TwiLuna fics I have read.
Excellent.

I haven't read something this amazing in a while.
Spot on with the characters and their interactions. Luna battling with her self doubt was engaging.

Tuna's awesome and you have sure done the couple justice

Fantastic story. Very season 1. I really look forward to your work.

There's a stall in town today that is selling some ingredients I need for glue.

GLUE , GLUE .... twilight.... glue is not really I thing you should be using ... what with it being made of horses.... just sayin

Now I'm trying to figure out if Celestia was just trying to make a pretty sunset for them (while screwing around with the orbit of the celestial bodies (pun intended)), or forcing Luna into an accidental confession of datehood in front of the certainly oblivious Twilight Sparkle.

Nonetheless, her time in Ponyville had encouraged her to blossom, and it occurred to Luna to wonder just how many pony's hearts had foundered and broken against the cliffs of Twilight's sheer inability to recognise their interest.

Well, considering that Twilight is basically "the face that launched a thousand ships" of mlp (well, on fimfiction, at least), I'd have to guess half the town, at a minimum.

Cute.

I particularly like how simple, yet effective the plot is. Some of Luna's interactions with the six are a bit on the nose, but not any more so than would be expected from the show.

This story felt incredibly organic to the show, and seems like a part of the early era of fanfiction for the show (which I happen to like very much). I liked this more than you could ever get me to admit in any vocal capacity, so I say- Good job!
8053795 You're a witty one, sir.

8059415

Well, you know, I try.

It's too cute! My sides now ache with the cuteness!
Make it stop!

i must recommend a sequel. but if you wish to not take this any further than i will respect your wishes.
~Random Fast Reader

8057853

That's a misconception, actually, that's only the case for animal glue(and then, only stereotypically, it's actually made from any animal's connective tissue), and is hardly the only type of glue. Now, I'm a little curious what the gelatin used to make her book-binding glue is made of, since it IS typically made with Gelatin, making it animal glue, but it's hardly unthinkable that they might have animals they farm for that express purpose. Heck, we've seen Fluttershy feeding animals fish, so I think it's safe to say that there's some kind of fishing industry, which could easily be the source of the Gelatin.

Excellent story. Flustered Luna is too cute :twilightsmile:

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!