1. Member Since 25th Feb, 2013
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TD writes and reviews pony fanfiction, and has a serious RariJack addiction. Send help and/or ponies.

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After Pony Magazine declares Twilight Sparkle to be the most eligible bachelorette in all of Equestria, Twilight finds herself buried under a veritable mountain of bouquets and love letters from all corners of the country. Enlisting her friends to separate the chaff from the wheat, each of them try to find a letter from an admirer who might be worthy of Twilight.

But the others are skeptical of Rainbow Dash's choice - a hastily written poem that came with a messy bouquet that somepony hoof-picked and threw together at the last minute. There's no way something like that could have come from a pony worthy of Twilight's love, right?

First Published
21st Mar 2017
Last Modified
21st Mar 2017
#1 · 5w, 4d ago · 2 · ·

Marry me Twilight!

#2 · 5w, 4d ago · 34 · ·

And people tell me I subconsciously loathe Twilight for subjecting her to everyday press, but you go and put her in a magazine with slightly less literary merit than the average mattress tag...

#3 · 5w, 4d ago · 7 · ·

I love that cover art so much.

#4 · 5w, 4d ago · 8 · ·

>>8041140

:moustache: : You're going to have to wait in line, bub. Though maybe if you had a few gems for me, I might put in a good word...

#5 · 5w, 4d ago · 19 · ·

>>8041148

Now, now. Pony Magazine is perfectly reputable! I mean, just look at these headlines!

Rapidash Explains How His Nose Ended Up In Fleetfoot's Tail After The Whinnyapolis 500

How Star Struck Broke Her Neck: The Once-And-Future Manehattan Miracle's "Embarassing" 20-Year Health Battle

Inside Upper Crust's Canterlot Estate, Listed for 45 Million Bits: 'It's Not Overly Precious'

"It's Like A Coup": Critics Lash Out After Rarity Gets Palace Bedroom And Security Clearance

Lightning Bolton: All About Your New Pegasus Crush - Is He Single?

In Her Own Words - Sapphire Shores: On Being Single & Loving It

On second thought, maybe it's best not to look...

And yes, these are all real ponified People magazine headlines.

#6 · 5w, 4d ago · 3 · ·

>>8041166

Aw, thanks! I'm glad you liked it! It was interesting putting it together. A lot of work, though; it is surprisingly difficult to figure out what fonts magazines use on their covers/for their logos. :twilightoops:

#7 · 5w, 4d ago · 6 · ·

Is Twilight just assuming those things about Celestia and Luna, it just seems really unlikely they haven't been with anyone for their thousands of years of life. Also, how did she find out about that if it's true?

#8 · 5w, 4d ago · · ·

That is an awesome cover art.

#9 · 5w, 4d ago · 30 · ·

“I mean, it’s not like she’s been really obvious about it. She’s probably good at hiding it, like I am with Rarity.”

Twilight buried her face in the mat once more. “I am a terrible friend,” she said muffledly.

In a few years, when Spike is older, he's going to think back on this and realize just how badly he got burned.

#10 · 5w, 4d ago · · ·

>>8041235

Good thing dragons have thick scales, huh? :raritywink:

>>8041228

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

It was interesting putting it together; I used a bunch of People magazine covers I found on Google to sort of get a feel for what they looked like, as well as what sort of stuff they put on the covers.

#11 · 5w, 4d ago · · ·

>>8041283

Good thing dragons have thick scales, huh?

Orstein would disagree.

#12 · 5w, 4d ago · 12 · ·

I haven't done much more than glance at this ship, but you made it work. Paradoxically by making it not work all that well. This feels like a believable start to a relationship between these two based on who they are, which is always nice to see in romance stories. Thank you for it.

#13 · 5w, 4d ago · 2 · ·

Awesome. Glad I could help with this. This was a great story to see shape up :rainbowdetermined2:

#14 · 5w, 4d ago · · ·

>>8041209

Can I please get a source on that first one?

Nice job with this story BTW. Loved it just as much as some of your other work.

#15 · 5w, 4d ago · 4 · ·

>>8041350

Thanks! That was what I was aiming for here, so I'm glad that came through - and I'm glad you liked it. Hearing that a shipfic feels believable and in character is always very nice, doubly so when it comes from someone who isn't a huge fan of the ship.

I appreciate you taking the time to read it. :twilightsmile:

#16 · 5w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

Nice story! I have always found it a bit weird when characters (Twilight here) decide to try and love another one, but I suppose that's just me. Also, Rainbow Dash as was really cute here for some reason:rainbowkiss:

#17 · 5w, 4d ago · 2 · ·

I have to admit, I'm actually more interested in finding out more about Blue Stocking and Ground Cherry and the other "nice" bouquet-senders. I find myself wanting to know if things work out for them. And if you've gotta be friendzoned by somepony, the Princess of Friendship is probably best suited to the job. :)

#18 · 5w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

... What did I just read? Something that makes me like TwiDash? NONONONONONONONO! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING, I DON'T SHIP IT, I DON'T SHIP, RIGHT?! RIGHT?! PLEASE TELL ME THIS HAPPENING!!! :raritycry:

#19 · 5w, 4d ago · 2 · ·

I can see this working out very well in a non-romantic manner.  Dash and Twilight don't get romantically involved, but they become closer friends, and both learn what it is they might be interested in from a potential romantic partner.

#20 · 5w, 4d ago · 3 · ·

>>8041513

I mean... I didn't love my girlfriend when I started dating her. So...

#21 · 5w, 4d ago · · ·

>>8041555

True. I suppose I meant more romantically attracted

#22 · 5w, 4d ago · 4 · ·

She’s probably good at hiding it, like I am with Rarity.”

Based on what Rarity said earlier, Rainbow is probably better at it.

#23 · 5w, 4d ago · 2 · ·

>>8041422

The first one was just based on the headline "Bonner Bolton Explains That Unintentional Grab of DWTS Partner Sharna Burgess". I didn't even read the article, I was just browsing through People's site and coming up with random article headlines based on such. :twilightblush:

I'm glad you felt it held up. That's always great to hear. Thank you for taking the time to read it! :heart:

#24 · 5w, 4d ago · · ·

>>8041418

Thanks for your help with it! Editors are a vital part of the process, and I always appreciate the help. :twilightsmile:

#25 · 5w, 4d ago · 12 · ·

Also featuring a brief recap of

100 Reasons to Hate Prince Blueblood

100 Reasons to HATE Prince Blueblood

Another 100 Reasons to HATE Prince Blueblood

100 Reasons Prince Blueblood deserves all this HATE

100 Reasons Not to Let Up on HATING Prince Blueblood

100 Things Prince Blueblood Recently Did to Renew Your HATRED for Him

100 Safe and Legal Ways to Express Your HATE for Prince Blueblood

#26 · 5w, 4d ago · · ·

That was cute

#27 · 5w, 4d ago · · ·

That was quite cute. :twilightsmile: Being a nit-picky editor, though, I do want to point out one or two things your editors missed:

"...I need to send thank you cards to.”

This may be personal preference, but having this hyphenated would make much more sense.

“And probably more, when the train comes in.” Roseluck said...

“So glad you could join us, Rainbow.” Rarity said...

This happened a few times—the periods should have been commas.

Editor's Eye is a curse sometimes. :facehoof:

#28 · 5w, 4d ago · 6 · ·

>>8041513

>>8041555

It really depends on the person and the situation. People set up dates via online dating sites, and blind dates are dates via mutual acquaintance, where there isn't even necessarily a chance to be attracted to each other beforehand. Sometimes people will go out on a date with a friend to test the waters a bit, see if they're interested. And if you're feeling a bit lonely, someone expressing interest in you can sometimes feel good and make it seem like it is a good idea to take a shot at it.

It's not really about trying to love someone, it's more about exploring the possibility of a relationship with someone who they might be attracted to. Interestingly, at least one study has found that people who end up dating their friends are more likely to have more divergent attractiveness levels (i.e. one of them is significantly more attractive than the other) than people who are dating people they only just met before dating them.

I think that interest itself can sometimes make someone more attractive - knowing that someone else is attracted to you can sometimes make you a bit more open to the idea of it, at least in my personal experience. I think it is something of an innate response, similar to how people tend to mirror emotions back at people (i.e. if you are friendly to someone, they're more likely to be friendly back; if you're hostile, they're more likely to be hostile).

Obviously this won't overcome being just Not Interested or Not Attracted to someone (with capital letters, even), but sometimes things aren't that clear cut. Indeed, friends later ending up dating is a pretty common way for people to start dating (some studies suggest that as much as 40% of relationships start in this way). But of course, this is also a common way for someone to crash and burn as well - admitting you like someone can always result in rejection, hence the infamous (and dreaded) "I just want to be friends" spiel. And of course there's always the danger of people feeling like they are somehow owed "a chance", which they are not.

Really, dating in general is highly variable and people behave pretty differently. It doesn't seem tremendously consistent from person to person. Some people won't go on a date with someone unless they already have a great deal of interest in them; others will ask someone out on a date because they're cute and seem nice.

#29 · 5w, 4d ago · 3 · ·

I must be getting soft in my old age; you got me to read a love story. :derpyderp2:

#30 · 5w, 4d ago · · ·

>>8041634

Thanks! I'm glad you liked the story!

Hyphenating thank-you cards doesn't seem to have any real linguistic consensus; I've found sources suggesting that the noun form (as in thank-you cards) should be hyphenated, but looking at websites which sell thank you cards, they generally don't appear to hyphenate it. Both are probably correct.

Thanks for pointing out those periods, though; probably casualties of me changing the attribution line to a dialogue tag from an emote and then never fixing the punctuation. :twilightblush:

#31 · 5w, 4d ago · 3 · ·

>>8041602

Horizon suggested "100 More Reasons to Hate Prince Blueblood - part 41 of a 48 part-series," but it didn't fit on the cover. :raritywink:

#32 · 5w, 4d ago · 2 · ·

Rainbow Dash wrinkled her snout as she took to the air. “Twilight. I like you. But if we’re going to date, there’s something I have to tell you.”

“What’s that?” Twilight asked, leaning over the railing as Rainbow Dash descended towards her front door.

“I hate flowers.”

Ending lines, just perfect.:rainbowlaugh: Great story! ...God I wish I could say something more here but words escape me for the moment.:twilightsheepish:

#33 · 5w, 4d ago · 3 · ·

>>8041538

I have to say, though, what you said is one of the most flattering things anyone can ever say about a shipfic. :rainbowkiss:

#34 · 5w, 3d ago · · ·

>>8041664

Well, you know me; I'm just a terrible influence on people. :scootangel:

Comment posted by Neoar2000 deleted at 12:15am on the 22nd of March, 2017
#37 · 5w, 3d ago · · ·

>>8041769 Just ignore this jerk, attention is all he wants. And you're giving it to him.

#38 · 5w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

>>8041679

Amusingly, while I knew how I wanted it to end, I didn't really realize what the final words of the piece were going to be until I was almost there... at which point I suddenly realized exactly what the final line had to be.

I'm glad you enjoyed. Thank you for reading! :heart:

#39 · 5w, 3d ago · 3 · ·

>>8041683

I've searched my feelings and it is true, I have a newfound love for TwiDash...:pinkiegasp: WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?!:applecry:

I'm going to need to go draw these two now (:twilightblush::heart::rainbowkiss:)

#40 · 5w, 3d ago · · ·

>>8041181

I'll drop a few gems into this for some entertainment.

#41 · 5w, 3d ago · 2 · ·

I don't normally like shipfics, but when I do, I get all warm and fuzzy inside.:moustache:

#42 · 5w, 3d ago · 2 · ·

Yes, well

Rarity said these exact same words six times. Was the intention to give her a verbal tic?

Spike frowned. “You’re overreacting. Heck, you got asked out by Flash Sentry after knowing him for what, two days?”

Twilight rose to her hooves, shrugging off Spike’s arm. “That’s just it! He didn’t know me at all! The only ponies who want to ask me out are ponies who don’t know me at all, who have never seen me before or only have known me for a few days!”

Oh, you could've, I don't know, written to him? Ask him for a date, take the time to let him know you better instead of dropping from the face of his earth, never to be seen again? He has literally no way of contacting you. If things with Flash didn't work out then it's because of you, Twilight.

#43 · 5w, 3d ago · 1 · 2 ·

Later that week...

:ajsmug: Well did ya'll enjoy yer double dates?

:duck: It was...

:pinkiegasp: Those two were dancing like pigeons and Rarity was like really crazy! Like home base a minute at a hoofball home game prom queen crazy!

:twilightoops: Wut ?

:raritystarry: Pardon!?! I was making sure those two behaved themselves!

:ajbemused: You mean to tell me something?

:pinkiehappy: Well you and Dashie did fly away like a pair of love birds leaving Spike and Rarity alone.

:rainbowlaugh: It's a Pegasus thing...

:ajsmug: And Spike?

:moustache: It's a dragon thing, I'm not complaining.

:duck: I should hope not! What am I chopped liver, I am the most fabulous am I not?

:facehoof: Pigeons?

:pinkiesmile: Well duh I peeked.......

#44 · 5w, 3d ago · 2 · ·

Twilight, when somepony says, "we'd like to interview you", DON'T!

#45 · 5w, 3d ago · · ·

>>8042018

Yes, well

Missed those in editing. Removed several. :twilightsmile:

#47 · 5w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

>>8041979

Aw. Thanks! I'm always glad to hear that I reached an audience outside of the core demographic. Tells me I'm doing something right.

Or Bad Horse is slipping mind control chemicals into the water again. But I prefer to think it is my writing.

#48 · 5w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

Pretty great. Nice way to bring in Twilight's anxiety without making it the main focus, although I'm a bit iffy on Rainbow writing a card in crayon. Nonetheless, it's cute.

#49 · 5w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

>>8041664

Hey, maybe you should write a love story like Romeo and Juliet!

Except they die in the first few minutes of the play to a terrible monster the end

#50 · 5w, 3d ago · 2 · ·

>>8041148  So, it's like a matress tag that doesn't have the 'Do Not Remove' warning on it? That's pretty low on the merit scale. Hell, Fantales wrappers are higher than that.

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