• Member Since 12th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 16th, 2019

Phantom Writer


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Princess Twilight Sparkle finds a baby human in the garden and raised him as her own son. With the help of her friends and family she will learn just how much this baby human will change her life forever.

Chapters (23)
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Comments ( 380 )

i love it and i can't wait to see more chapters to this story

Hm, nice. I'm looking forward to seeing more. :twilightsmile:

Good so far, but I feel the specing is too quick and you're making the mistake of using "your", when it should be "you're"

Off to a BEAUTIFUL start:pinkiehappy::heart:

finally someone gives twilight a human baby

While this fic does have my interest, a word of caution, while there's no spelling errors that is only because you have the wrong word in two major cases.

Every time you were supposed to use diaper, it was spelt dipper, and interrupt became interpret. I would recommend either A. making sure to reread what you type afterwards and not just rely on your word processors spell check, or B. look into getting an editor.

Edit Oh and I is always capitalized even if it's not the first word.

Author, have you noticed any problems with your story yet? If not, it must mean you were quite lazy when typing this story up. (That or you must've really just wanted this story to be out.) There are just so many... Things that are sticking out of your story. So far out that, in fact, I almost lost an eye! Please fix them.

If you don't know where (or what) they are, I had a few of them conveniently placed in order.

#1.) Celestia, Luna, Best Pony (Twilight), Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbowdash, Rarity, and Pink Pony were all terribly... vague, empty, and out of character.

Any objections? No? Lets move on then.

#2.) Human baby. A Human baby. An incredibly rare, dimensional anomoly in Equestria. Something that was not even mentioned in the show, not once, not twice, nor thrice, zilch. And still Celestia is like, "I'm proud of you Twilight." That's not strange. Not strange at all.

#3.) Rarity uses perfect, girl-like grammar in the show. T'would be wise if thou useth perfect, girl-like grammer as welleth.

P.S. -I didn't mean to call you lazy, that was just something I do a lot to authors so that they (And others) will read my comment. Tis mean, but effective.

The idea is not bad.

BUT, a few things:
1) A very short and very fast chapter where you could make more from.

2) Out of character. Twilight would be at first curious about how the Human child get here before she even thought about adoption.

3) Please! Write more!!

I immediately had to favorite this. Very sweet and cute start, and I love how Luna made the baby laugh. :twilightblush: However, I have a sinking feeling that Spike is going to feel left out and replaced, and might become jealous of Blaze. :fluttershysad: I know he is helping with the baby, but you go to wonder with Twilight bringing in this new baby, if he is going to try and do something to be paid attention to. I love this story, I love how every pony is treating Blaze, but I am also worried for Spike, I mean Twilight is like a mother figure to Spike, and I just have a sinking feeling that he is going to feel left unloved. :fluttershysad: Just a huge Spike fan.


However, great story so far. :pinkiehappy:

Twilight and a human baby? D'awwww! :rainbowkiss:

Off to an amazing start. The characters are all on tap and I'm excited. Though, I was waiting for AJ to say, "Fluttershy, how in the wide world of Equestria do you expect him to date a pony?"

it still needs alot of work, but i want to see where this is going

fast pace, needs work on some of the words like DIAPER not DIPPER, also you have a nice idea but it needs work. quite a bit of it. twilight's out of characters and so are the princesses. the elements ARE accepting if twilight says it's ok but there should be some conflicting emotions since he's not a pony . also you forgot to state HOW they know of humans much less HOW the baby got there.i say redo the entire first chapter and get someone to help you. maybe an editor. you can talk over some ideas and go over the writing

3006724

Well i could have used and oc or Big Mac but i felt that Flash would be okay to use. :ajbemused: Well i'm sorry i chose the wrong stallion. :raritycry:

3006728
this ship is becoming over used already. i was actually hopeing for big mac or a OC

i love it a lot great job and your welcome

3006733

Well it's not set in stone, Maybe they might break up.

3006736
*sigh* its ok. if blaze likes him let him be lol.

3006739


Well Blaze doesn't really like him all that much. But Flash is growing on him but it can change .

3006747
its really up to you.
your story, your shipping. lol
ill still read it.

It's a big jump with six years. This Chapter could be longer... MUCH longer.

3006750


Well i wasn't going to add Flash at all until i needed a father figure and since they gave a hint that Flash might be Twilight's bf later down the road i thought i would add him.

3006758

I know it could have been long but i wanted to put him in school. I thought it would be better to move along from being a baby to a kid.

3006759
uhh thats where your wrong lol.
it was confirmed that flash is not going to be in season 4. and the equestria girls movie was an AU to the real mlp verse.

3006773

Oh i did not know that. Guess you learn something new every day lol

3006781
i think equestria girls would of done better without the romance.

This is pretty good. I'd like to read more

Aw... another very cute chapter, and I love how Blaze calls Rarity Auntie Rarity and his other Aunts Auntie. :twilightblush: Also, I am glad Twilight told Spike that she will always be there for him as she will always be there for Blaze. :twilightblush: It would just be sad if Spike was just pushed out and all.:fluttershysad: Looking forward to the next chapter. :pinkiehappy:

sooo, i'm wonderin'... this is 6 years later, right?

then why is the CMC still in school?

i'm assuming Twilight was a princess when she found him... so then it doesn't make sense that the CMC is still in school

3007425


The CMC are only a few years older then Blaze and they would still be in school even if it's only been six years.

3007436 then i'm guessing the school is bigger than in the show and that they are not in the same class

3007440

The school has gotten bigger since the last time Twilight was there and there are a few new teachers that i will be adding.

3007444 okie dokie lokie, also, are there other humans there? in Equestria, i mean

3007450

Well there is one human but.... I can't really tell you since it's connected to one of my other stories i have written.

Comment posted by Fugly Duckling deleted Aug 7th, 2013

3007455

"Well, Ah know a few houses for sell ah can have Matt take a look for ya." She said.

i'll take it, Matt, is the other human. since you have another story with a man named Matt
(welcome to sweet apple acres)

why flash sentry he was in equestria girls and everyone thinks twilight x flash :facehoof:

3007494 because they were romanced in Equesrtia girls? you couldn't believe the flame war that happened just because of that ship. it was very fun to watch.

3007515


I saw that. I don't see why people got so angry at this shipping. It kinda reminds me when i watched Digimon and the two character's names Tai and Sora. Everyone i knew freaked when Sora went with Matt. Everyone fights over something.

3007531 yeah, you can't go a day without hearing about some overdramatic shit...

omg, they shipped my waifu with some random guy/pony!

3007531 it's like... Applejack is best pony, but i still read fics where she's shipped with others. people doesn't have to make a big deal of it.

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