Writer of long, character-driven smut of astounding filthiness, lesbian mind-control a speciality. Short-Fic Commission Slots Now Closed
Twilight has too much time on her hooves.
Twilight has a spell that involves 'transposing male characteristics' that she hasn't tried yet.
Twilight is about to get herself into a whole world of trouble.
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As I said I would do (spoilers, kinda).
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This may be the best thing I've read all week.
And we have a new high score.
"Based on the eddies in the space-time continuum, this is the fourth time you've done this."
The thought occurs that Applejack never did directly confront Twilight about the previous day's activities, since she knew she wouldn't be able to pull it off with a straight face. Brilliant detail.
In all, this was some epic hilarity... though it's also the kind of thing that leads to devastating coups and certain unicorns ruling Equestria with an iron hoof. Celestia really played with fire. Still a hilarious read, though. Thank you for it.
What did I just read? And where can I get more?
That made my day! Celestia knows her student so very well to set this up, wonder what else she knows about her.
Of course, this means war.
Wickedly funny - absolutely brilliant!
Surely your finest work!
I’m confused by Luna calling Twilight her husband, was that part of the joke or did I miss something?
Hilarious.
The postscript brings up an interesting sci-fi conundrum: If a male version of yourself and a female version of yourself did the nasty, would it be considered sex, masturbation or incest? Would the offspring of such a union be unique, or would it be a clone? To quote Kelly Bundy, the mind wobbles.
9444504
Twilight wasn't allowed to be wed by Celestia because of one particular circumstance, she says right before Luna comes in calling Twilight her husband.
It's heavily implied that Twilight 'did' have sex with Luna for real, and as such, shall be (forced to) marry(ing) her
9444537
Or at least, this is Lunas part of the prank.
Poor poor Twilight...
Did twilight fuck herself
9444092
OMG I missed the bit about how Applejack stays offscreen! Brilliant detail!
I sincerely doubt that'll stop you.
NEEEERD!
The best kind of science?
I call that Tuesday morning.
Fun fact, Barbarian was a term in Ancient Greece to refer to someone who didn't speak Greek. So, as much as the D&D term applies to Kratos, the original term doesn't.
So, average Thursday for her.
Beg pardon?
I'm, sorry? Twilight, what did you do?
... I beg your pardon?
Twilight, what did you DO?
Oh dear.
What the HELL happened to you last night?
Eh?
I am inclined to agree.
You TERRIFY me.
OOOH.
I wouldn't be surprised to learn that'd work.
Of course.
REALLY?
Sounds about right.
You'd be right.
Oh dear.
That's bad.
Yep.
Called it.
Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "Go fuck yourself."
No.
Oh.
Interesting choice of phrasing.
What.
I got nothing, that's just fucking funny.
OH, oh no harry.
This is rather implausible, given ponies don't generally wear clothes.
9445209 Fair point. What I meant was an erect one.
Do note that Celestia stated that Twilight didn't get anyone pregnant, not that she didn't screw anyone.
But Luna won that contest hooves down. That timing was simply perfect
I enjoyed this up till the train scene.
You should travel more often.
I thought this'd just be a funny little raunchy comedy.
I got it half right. It was a hilarious and brilliant raunchy comedy. Bravo, friend. Bravo.
Oh stars above i hope it's not a hydrolic piston... or a jackhammer.
Now I need to go find the story where Applejack gets one of the power loaders from Aliens again.
9445593
AJ's porn name is totally 'Applejackhammer'.
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Nice. Safe to say Rainbows would be "Ram Jet." Also works if she became a transformer.
Oh my...
Good.
Not sure what I expected out of this, but it was hilarious. The ending was absolutely perfect. Trollestia, engage!
And that's how you break Twilight. Bravo. The best was Mr Cake, though Rarity was fun too.
A fun story, and your writing always has such masterful use of imagery and smilies... Jealousy wars with amusement.
Oh my. I was expecting future Twilight to actually be a Changeling, but I suppose since this story appears to take place during the Unicorn Twilight era, a friendly Changeling wouldn't make sense.
This was wonderful, I just couldn't stop laughing. As for the contest,
I have a feeling that as long as there's no age requirement Apple Bloom at least has the "'Best despair face" part in the bag. Also, while my love of Twiluna may bias me, I truly hope those last lines weren't part of the April fools prank and that something did happen with Luna. Of course, if something did happen, that opens up the wonderful possibility of future Luna ending up having a ménage a Twilight. Now that's a scene I'd love to read, especially if it happened to come from an amazing author with a gift for writing clop stories
.
this was a wild ride
I’m surprised Trixie was even in position for her to be involved.
Oof...hot damn. this was a stress-test for everyone's favorite little book-pony.
Bravo once again.
9446611 Well, I left what happened in Twilight's blackout pretty open-ended; she could have done very little (other than her future self) and all the mess was part of the set-up, or she could have done pretty much everyone in Ponyville. Celestia was certainly claiming that Twilight couldn't marry anyone else because she'd already married Luna, but Celestia doesn't have a strong track record with the truth at this point.
I don't consider my own ideas for what happened any more canon than anyone elses, but if you'd like to know what I picture, I think Twilight banged Luna on every flat surface in the library, and Celestia is taking a little playful revenge for Twilight seducing her sister.
I clenched my fists in intense anticipation and mock indignation the moment when you pulled out the future Twilight.
Well played. Well played...
Nice.
This was just a precious read. Thank you.
9446359
With that qoute in mind I personally believe that Twilight herself won the Best Despair Face Contest.
The idea that she may want to go back or forward in time as a transexualized version of herself to have MORE sex with herself ... That is some mind breaking stuff there...
9444593
at the very least a very specific kind of narcissism.
Well. That was unexpected.
watch my respond to this masterpiece of a story
huh. someone already pointed out applejack staying ''offscreen'' because she couldn't lie, but i just realized that spike was entirely absent, too. which means that either he ran away after being traumatized by twilight's antics... or he simply avoided the library so he couldn't ruin the prank. I'm not sure which is funnier.
Oh man. You really had me going there. Great job with this story!
9444512
The child wouldn't be genetically identical to the parent (at least for the human genetic system, ponies might be different). In Humans the genome contains two copies of each gene, one from each parent. When each egg and sperm is produced the two copies are mixed together and semi randomly one of each copy of each gene is passed on. Thus it's highly unlikely that the child would have exactly the same gene's as the parent.
So the whole thing was a prank I don’t even know how livid I would be if that happened to me with twilights track record Celestia is lucky twilight didn’t do anything drastic in fact I wouldn’t be surprised if she just moved towns because of what Ponyville did
So, she married Luna, and in retaliation Celestia pranked her.
9445209
9445249
Biology Lesson:
Horse penises retract. Stallions literally have a muscle called the "retractor penis muscle" just so that their penises won't be hanging out there all the time. You can live around stallions your entire life and never see a horse penis. (This is something that I consider a serious plus given that I love being around horses but am not a fan of looking at penises.)
If Equestrian stallions are as visibly sexually dimoprhic as real world ones, Twilight never seeing a penis if she's never seen one in use is perfectly realistic.
That's assuming that horses are the thing to look at for guidance in this matter. Personally, given that MLP ponies have bird and narwhal characteristics, I have no problem with the idea that pony external sexual anatomy is exactly as depicted in the show.