• Member Since 3rd Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago


Fanfiction masochist. :B She/they https://ko-fi.com/presentperfect



Celestia invites Twilight over for tea and chess. Things don't quite go as planned.

"...Present Perfect unironically uses the term Chineighse here and I don't actually know if I can forgive him for that." -Obselescence!

"-- oh, no..." -Estee

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 168 )

PresentPerfect writing Twilestia?! Cats and dogs, living together!

Okay, this was... odd, but funny all the same.


9/10 Oedipuses

Hopefully they don't need to communicate by using a written cypher. :trollestia:

Well, I was 1 for 2 as far as who was pranking Cellie and Twi. I guessed Luna but not Discord. How did I not see that Discord was in on it? *shrugs*

:rainbowhuh: Well, that certainly happened. I quite liked the beginning, especially the language of tea sets. As for the rest, it was certainly an enjoyable strain of madness.

When the daughter lusts for the mother, is it an Oedipulectra complex or an Electrapus complex?

7258206 Actually just Electra

It's like a dream coming true, you writing a Twilestia. Oh yes.

I think reductio ad absurdum is a more interesting and effective mechanism for making fun of the stories you're targeting with this story than swinging characters around like marionette bolas the way you did here.

7258063 This is indeed some sort of madness. Ah, takes me back to the days of reviewing TwiDash on Ponychan. Good times.

Bahhahaha you're an evil mad genius. Thanks for this!

After reading this I suddenly feel the need for a cigarette.

I am feeling an inordinate amount of pride right now. Kinda like that one time I accidentally flicked a lit cigarette into a fireworks stand.

Lagers tasted like donkey pee.

I always knew Twilight had discriminating taste.

"Okay, you just made it weird."

That's what made it weird?

I knew it had to be Discord. Taking the chesspieces, but not the board tilted me there. He couldn't be alone, but I was sure it was more Cadence than Luna. Either way, adorable!

Since we are bearing our souls to each other

baring in this context, I think.

Also, not sure if just me, but it seems like there may have been some formatting errors with long spaces around the beginning of the story.

Also, this was hilarious.

Author Interviewer

shiiiit how do I keep messing that up

Long spaces, or double spaces? I double space my sentences because I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DON'T NEED NO MAN


7258483 The spacing just looks a little messed up in the list of teas. I think I'm seeing triple spaces.

Silly ponies. There are plenty of herbs you can use for teas!

Well, technically they're infusions, but that's just for tea snobs.

*And so the ponies make tea with leaves and flowers they find growing wild*

"Twilight, this hemlock tea is divine!"

"Yes Princess, I'm particularly fond of this nightshade brew myself!"

Two minutes later: X_________________X

Alondro just sighs. "Why do I even try?" :facehoof:

Well, that was freakin' hilarious. :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

I suspected that Discord might have been behind it, but no way did I anticipate Luna's involvement, or the motive! Still, getting rid of all the non-beer drinks in the castle is a brilliant story idea! Just imagine what would happen if, say, all of Canterlot got drunk.

At least they weren't both into vore.... :fluttershbad:

It would have ended... quite well indeed! :pinkiecrazy:

Bury this around the second or third layer of subtext, hack off the message at the end and you have almost every top-shelf Twilestia ever.

I love you PP, but jesus man.

Author Interviewer

Prob'ly just Fimfic kerning. :B

A winner is me. :3



Humans are weird with all our fucked up fetishes

When all you've got in the fridge is beer, someone is going to end up naked or injured. Or both.

Somehow, the only thing I didn't see coming was Twilight having the hots for her own mother. And that's just grand.

Oh boy, another Twilestia fanfic hahaha. At least it was well written and I actually enjoyed it.

7259528 Not something you usually see or hear about. Hehehe now i want a clopfic of it :rainbowlaugh::trixieshiftright:

The fuck is wrong with your brain?


Well, Luna's never going to feel clean again, is she?

(Or does it get worse?)


That seems an appropriate metaphor for the occasion...

7259412 No beer in my fridge. Beer killed several friends of my family. F**k that s**t.

Author Interviewer

It doesn't get enough attention. D:

This was awesomely funny! Great work, PP!

Well well well, look what we have here.

I can work with this. :trixieshiftright:

Comment posted by ClockworkMage deleted May 30th, 2016
Comment posted by UniqueSKD deleted May 30th, 2016

Dude, I nearly threw up the brownie I was eating when reading this.

Well done.

Comment posted by ToxiClay deleted May 30th, 2016
Comment posted by CheerDaLee deleted May 30th, 2016
Comment posted by UniqueSKD deleted May 30th, 2016
Author Interviewer

Don't make me separate you two.


Don't get involved, it's not worth it.

Comment posted by UniqueSKD deleted May 30th, 2016

7261168 Yessir.

Back on track: loved this story. I feel it perfectly in keeping with Discord's character.

"The chess is knives!" Twilight spun gradually on her stomach until she was facing Celestia. This time, when she tried to lift the knife, her horn held it aloft, if unsteadily.

As soon as I read that...


A drunken knife fight? That sounds like an excellent idea.

"I've always thought maybe... If you and I... It wouldn't be creepy at all..."

"Since we're not related, it'll be okay."

Celestia closed her eyes. "Can you darken your coat color?"

Dammit, Tia.

"Hey can I get kinky?"

"Only if I can get kinky too."

"You are the one."

And the invention that Twilight goes on to create that benefits all of Equestria will be the smartphone, and then that app that lets people find out what fetishes they have in common with their partners. Spoilers: it's probably incest.

Author Interviewer

I am glad that reference came through. :3

Login or register to comment