//------------------------------// // Chapter Three: Discussion // Story: The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Date Twilight Sparkle // by Codex Ex Equus //------------------------------// Luna nibbled on the one (small) piece of cake she'd been allowed as things on Celestia's side of the table began to die down. Even after a nearly uncountably long lifespan, she still found herself in awe of the sheer destruction her sister could wreak when confronted by baked goods. Celestia, for her part, was nearly euphoric, her usual state after a good cake. She inspected her plate, searching for a last few crumbs, but sadly found it clean. Levitating her fork down to the table, she gave a long, contented sigh, wiped the frosting off her face, and then bounced off the wall and crashed to the ground as the shield spell Luna had placed around the room blocked her sudden teleport. Groaning, she dragged herself back into her chair, trying to avoid Luna's smug look. “So, sister,” said the Princess of the Night, nearly purring, “Shall we talk about the rather interesting dream you had last night?” “They fade so fast, dear sister,” replied Celestia, a smile on her face. “Why, I can hardly recall my most recent dreams much of the time, you know that.” She gave a light chuckle. “Speaking of interesting things, I recently heard something about the long-term prospects of soybean futures that–” “Do not play games with us, sister,” growled Luna, eyes narrow, slamming her hooves onto the table. “We did not spend the daytime during which we should be asleep chasing thee throughout the castle, being dunked in a pond, being humiliatingly tricked by a small colt, and being forced out of a dream, just so thou canst sit there and mock us further!” Celestia winced. Put like that, she had been acting like a bit of a foal today. “I... I'm sorry, Luna.” Luna sighed and sat back in her chair. “As am I. I should not have snapped at you just now, nor treated your dream as some kind of joke. It is a serious matter. And so, seriously: shall we talk about the dream you had?” Celestia closed her eyes briefly. There was still a way she could deny all this had ever happened, to her sister and to herself. Especially to herself. “I suppose I just... worry about Twilight. To have so much thrust upon her so quickly... she is still quite young and tender, especially given the power that she now wields. I guess I just want to make sure she can handle everything.” “And you truly believe she might become corrupted into a Nightmare version of herself, as I once was?” Luna's eyes had narrowed again and she was frowning, but she at least seemed willing to go along with the slight detour. “I suppose not, but if she were hurt badly, if she decided some kind of extraordinary measures needed to be taken... she has a tendency to overreact a bit, at times.” Luna let out a small snort. She had heard the stories. “But with her friends by her side, with all of us, you have to know she would never reach those extremes.” “You are right, I suppose.” Celestia let out a small sigh, then smiled slightly, as an almost unfelt weight was lifted from her chest. With everything else that dream had revealed, her very real fears of Twilight falling to darkness had gone unnoticed. “Thank you, Luna. That actually helps a lot.” “You are welcome, sister,” Luna replied with a graceful nod. She watched with amused interest as Celestia got up and tried to exit through the door, only to bump muzzle-first into the shield that Luna still hadn't lowered. “There is also the matter of the other little revelation from your dream.” “There is nothing else from that dream that is of any importance,” replied Celestia icily, still facing the open door. “Oh really? I seem to recall your actions during the 'Nightmare Twilight' part of that dream being very vocal. Something about loving her? And you were very upset when she turned to dust.” “Of course I love her, and of course I was upset,” said Celestia, through what sounded like gritted teeth. “She is my most faithful and prized student, one who greatly surpassed all my expectations, and one of my closest friends. Why should I feel any other way?” “That was not love for your student or friend,” said Luna accusingly, pointing a hoof at Celestia's back. “That was true love, the love for one who means more to you than all others. I believe the exact words you used were, in fact, 'my love'? Admit it. You are in love with Twilight Sparkle.” “I... am not.” “Yes you are.” “No I am not.” “You are!” “I love her as a close friend and that is all.” “It is not all! You love her romantically! Admit it!” “There is nothing to admit.” “Stop lying to me! I can hear the truth in every word you say, so why won't you just tell me you love her?!” “BECAUSE I CAN'T LOVE HER!” Celestia spun around, the sheer force of her anger, confusion and despair vaporizing every piece of furniture in the room in a blaze of uncontrolled magic. “Because she is my student and closest friend! She can't love her teacher. At best, I can hope she sees me as a kind of... mother figure. If I told her of my feelings for her, it might very well push her into overreacting and becoming a Nightmare, like in my dream. And if not... if not, it would at the least drive a wedge between us. We have an eternity together now, and I can't risk driving her away over some stupid, unrequited love, not when we could spend that time as friends.” With a sigh, Celestia collapsed into a sitting position. “That's what the dream was really about,” she said, almost to herself. “I wasn't scared Twilight might be driven to becoming a Nightmare for vague, undefined reasons... I was scared my love for her is what would push her to that.” There was a long moment of silence, and then Luna, from her seat upon a pile of ashes that had once been a chair, said, “That was my favorite table. And I was quite fond of many of those chairs.” Celestia groaned, rolling her eyes. “Can't you take anything seriously?” “The last time I did that, I felt what it was like to be hit in the face by five megatons of harmony and friendship. Twice, in fact.” Luna crossed the room, laying next to her sister and leaning up against her. “I have learned since the importance of appreciating the absurdity of whatever situation I find myself in. For example, the absurdity of you thinking that the love you feel for your student could ever damage things between the two of you.” “But I–” A gentle hoof suddenly covered Celestia's mouth. “Nay, sister, it is my turn to speak. I have seen the two of you together many times. Even if she would, for some reason I can't imagine, reject you, it would do nothing to hurt your relationship. I think you would be surprised at how quickly things between you would go back to normal, no matter how awkward it might be initially. She adores you. You bring sunshine not merely to her world, but to her life and soul. I don't think there is a thing you could do to push her away. Why, even if you were to turn into a Nightmare yourself, I think Twilight would be right there by your side, helping you subjugate all of Equestria.” Celestia couldn't help snorting as she pictured the fearsome progress that could be made if a tyrant had assistance from a pony with Twilight Sparkle's drive and organizational skills. “You see? Feeling better already. Come, let us walk.” They stood and made their way out into the halls, Luna's shield parting and melting away as they left the room. “I still think I'm better off just not saying anything.” Celestia spoke in a low voice, head down. “Things are good the way they are. There's no reason to ruin it all. You say things would be normal between us even if she rejected me, but you're wrong. It would always be there, hanging over our heads, no matter how many centuries would pass.” Luna spoke just as quietly. “And you would give up all that potential happiness and bliss? Not even give it a chance? Over what–the faint possibility of a bit of awkwardness, maybe some embarrassment? If you could survive what happened after you snuck into the 43rd Annual Equestria Cake Eating Contest, you can survive whatever might happen when you confess your love.” “Ah, actually, you see, the thing about that is...” Celestia gave a nervous cough. “Even after you were banished ponies were still talking about it, so I kind of... struck it from all the records and forbade any mention of it.” “What?! But it was most entertaining! That disguise spell was only meant for normal-sized ponies, not alicorns, and you ate so much you overloaded the spell's mass parameters! Ponies and cakes went flying everywhere when it failed! Magical scholars said it was an unprecedented feat! Mighty songs of that day were composed and sung!” “Yes they were,” growled Celestia, “And that is why I had them eradicated.” Luna sighed and shook her head. “You really do need to learn how not to take yourself so seriously, sister. But back to the matter at hoof–” “No,” said Celestia firmly. “I have made up my mind. I... I may love Twilight Sparkle, but that love shall stay with me. I shall love her as her mentor, friend, and fellow Princess, but no more. It will hurt to hide my love, but better that hurt than the pain of rejection, of losing a friend, of losing the special bond we share.” Luna sighed again. “I see. So your mind is made up?” “It is.” “You will not even give your love a chance?” “I will not.” “And you have no intentions to woo Twilight Sparkle?” “I do not.” “Soooooo... she's available?” That tone of voice, along with the arching of her sister's eyebrows, set off warning bells in Celestia's head. Luna's nocturnal adventures had been legendary back in the day. Entire towns had found themselves declared her royal pleasure servants. Then there had been the rumors about all those foals, but that was just silly. Sure, they had all been darker shades of blue, and had moon or night related cutie marks, and all had been born within a week of each other... but really, how could something like that be possible? How would it have even worked? “You cannot be serious.” Even Luna, who routinely experienced the chilly vacuum of outer space, found her sister's voice to be cold. “Why not?” the Princess of the Night replied flippantly. “You have no claim on her, nor does anyone else. And this is Twilight Sparkle we're talking about. Aside from all the other times she has saved Equestria, she is the one personally responsible for freeing me from my darkness. A mare like that... that's the kind of mare a girl could fall for. I won't say I haven't considered this before.” “I forbid it.” Luna laughed and wrapped a foreleg around her sister's shoulders. “Come now, is this not the perfect solution? You fear for Twilight's heart; who better to hold it than your own sister? You know I'd treat her right.” A contemplative look suddenly came over the younger Princess's face, and she pulled her hoof back to give it a slow lick. “Mmm, would I ever treat her right...” “LUNA–” “Huzzah, an even better solution has presented itself! We can make Twilight a part of the Royal Harem! I am willing to share if you are, sister.” Celestia's brain found itself shutting down under the sudden strain imposed by that suggestion, and went with the least offensive objection. “Twilight is a Princess! We can't make her a part of the Harem, even if it did still exist!” “Aww, you mean you actually did get rid of the Harem? I have been so busy I haven't had time to check up on the rumors.” Luna shook her head sadly. “Tsk tsk. No wonder you are so stressed these days. But, have no fear about adding Twilight to the Harem. Having a Princess would just make it more Royal, yes?” “I cannot believe we are having this conversation,” ground out Celestia through clenched teeth, putting a hoof to her forehead. “Luna, under no circumstances are you to attempt to induct Twilight into the–” She stopped, realizing her sister was no longer by her side. Darting back down the hall, she found Luna had leapt from a balcony and was now winging away into the air. “What are you doing?!” “I have made up my mind, sister!” Luna called back over her shoulder, a blue glow forming around her horn. “I am off to Ponyville, to declare my interests in courting the mare of my dreams!” With a burst of magic, she was gone. Several of the patrolling guards who passed by over the next few minutes made comments on the new statue of Celestia that had been installed on the balcony. It was quite lifelike, they all agreed, although the look of horror it wore seemed quite out of place. Finally, the stalled gears of Celestia's mind lurched back into motion. All of Canterlot had its day interrupted by the sudden echoing shrieks of “NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!” Those that were in position to look towards its source found themselves nearly blinded by the flash of light from a teleportation spell.