Celestia's desk was massive, seeming to fill her entire office despite the room itself being equally enormous. ‘Domineering’ was another word that was often applied to the desk, typically by students that had been called in to stand before it. Coincidentally, that was also the word Celestia herself would use to describe it; her entire life seemed to revolve around the desk and the mounds of never-ending paperwork that covered its surface.
Not that she was bitter; she loved Equestria, and serving as its leader was what gave her life purpose. It was just that sometimes she felt as though it also consumed her life. She never had time for the other things that were important to her. Case in point: the pony currently entering her office.
She shifted to the side, peering over the stack of papers that had engulfed her inbox so she could smile gently at Twilight Sparkle as her fellow Princess trotted excitedly into the room.
Aside from her sister, nopony in all of Equestria meant more to her than her most faithful student. She had freed Luna from the prison of her own darkness, saved Equestria (and Celestia and Luna themselves) more times than most ponies could count, and was always a big help whenever Discord caused an international incident, which was every other week or so.
It was only recently that Celestia had come to realize how deeply she felt about Twilight, but she suspected that love had been brewing in her heart for some time—perhaps even as far back as the day Nightmare Moon had been defeated. Running a kingdom was not an easy task, though, and she had been unable to find time to follow her feelings. Her responsibilities had always come first.
Today, though… she had finally found the courage to let her feelings be known, and by fortuitous coincidence this was the same day Twilight had written to let Celestia know she wished to talk. She'd found the perfect gift to give Twilight as well, to express her feelings. She glanced to the side, at the book that was just barely visible through the cracked-open drawer next to her.
"Princess, I have such exciting news!" cried Twilight, dancing in place.
Celestia smiled indulgently, leaning forward and leaning her chin on her crossed hooves. "Yes, you said so in your letter. What was so important you could only tell me in person?"
"Well, it's just… it's just I just met the most amazing pony and IthinkI'minlove!"
Celestia listened kindly, saying all the right things and asking all the right questions as Twilight gushed about her new love, and her world slowly collapsed.
Reaching out with one hoof, she gently pushed the desk door closed.
"Sister, please, come out of your room," pleaded Luna.
"No!" came the muffled response through the door. "I shall live out the rest of the days from my bed, never again seeing another pony."
"You have a kingdom to help run," pointed out Luna. "Do you truly think you can do that from your bedroom?"
"Have my advisors slip papers under my door. I can sign them and push them back out."
"What will you eat, then?" asked Luna, trying to change tactics. "I don't think we could push a cake under the door."
There was a long moment of silence, and just when Luna thought she had gotten through to her sister there was a reply.
"I shall accept the door being opened enough to allow cake inside. Or perhaps cake-flavored ice cream. I have lost my one true love; gorging on ice cream is traditional and mandatory."
"Celestia…" Luna put a hoof to her head, groaning. "For one thing, though it may be morbid, Twilight is not lost to you forever. She has fallen in love with a mortal; she will be single again one day. And second, there is no such thing as cake-flavored ice cream."
There was another moment of silence.
"Luna, gather the kingdom's food scientists and have them thrown in the dungeon for treason, due to not having anticipated the need for cake-flavored ice cream. Then send the dungeon key to the moon."
"Sister, for the last time, my moon is not where you store stuff you simply don't want to have around. I will admit that tactic worked well in dealing with my… little incident, but that doesn't mean you can use it to solve all your problems!"
"I'm sorry, sister, you're right," replied Celestia through the bedroom door. "Moon banishment is far too serious a thing to use on mere trifles such as disposing of a key."
"Thank you for understanding—"
"Instead, find the pony who has stolen my Twilight and send them to the moon."
"If you're not going to deal with this like a grown mare, than I shall no longer speak with you," declared Luna, marching away.
And thus began what became known as 'The Year of the Mopey Sun'.
Celestia eventually emerged from her bedroom, but it was clear she was not her usual cheery self, a bright shining light that inspired all her subjects. Still, though she was inconsolable, she bravely carried on, not letting her broken heart keep her from her responsibilities. Her subjects did their best to cheer her up, and while their efforts had little effect, she appreciated their concern.
Great symphonies were performed, plays and epics written, poems composed, all in her honor, all to amuse and distract their Princess from whatever unknown malaise affected her mind. Though the ponies did not know the exact reason for Celestia's mood, they still did their best for her, as she had always done for them.
Even the food scientists, after being released from the dungeons, did their best to serve the Princess. They toiled mightily for many days and nights, doing things with food that no mortal pony had ever considered. Finally, at the end of their trials, they had produced a cake-flavored ice cream, and while it was terrible and the food scientists were ultimately banished to the moon, their efforts had made sure that someday Celestia would consider forgiving them.
Only her sister didn't seem to truly understand her pain, regarding Celestia's journal of heartbreak with skepticism, and openly mocking her when she tried to dye her hair black in order to fully express the depths of her loss. Celestia forgave her, though, because she was a kind, goodhearted pony and the best Princess, and she understood that Luna could be impatient and often lacked empathy.
Just when it seemed Celestia had come through her time of darkness and emerged a better pony, tragedy struck. Twilight's lover betrayed her, just as Celestia had known they would. Their entire relationship had been a lie, a mere ploy for political power, and once that pony had what they wanted they had discarded Twilight like so much as dead weight.
Celestia rushed to Twilight's castle as soon as she heard the news, wanting to comfort her friend and love. But when she opened the doors, she found only an empty castle, bereft of any other ponies.
The Royal Guard was mobilized, and all across Equestria ponies looked for their wayward Princess. No sign of her was found, though, and Celestia became nearly frantic with worry. She spent every night hoping and praying Twilight would return… until the day she did.
Something was wrong.
Celestia looked up from her desk as she felt it. Normally these days she left lowering the sun and raising the moon to her sister, while she herself did the opposite, but today the sun wasn't setting.
She moved to a window and looked out; there, on the horizon, sat the sun. She tried to lower it, but it stubbornly refused her attention, leaving the world cloaked in... twilight.
The doors to her office crashed open the merest second before she passed through them, her wings folding closed and then springing open again to push her forward through the air.
She flew by instinct, drawn to her own throne room by some premonition, some sixth-sense. Luna felt it too; as Celestia made a turn in the corridor, one wing tip scraping at the floor, she found herself flying just ahead and to the side of her sister. She took a glance back at Luna, who gave a tight-lipped nod as their eyes met.
Wings flaring wide, the Princesses came to a halt in front of the doors to their throne room, floating softly to the ground. Throwing the doors open, they trotted forward a few steps and then stopped, staring in shock.
An alicorn stood at one of the windows by the throne, staring out at the dimly-lit land. She was as tall as Luna, her coat a deep purple, her horn long and pointed. Her mane flowed down across her back, fluttering gently in some invisible breeze. It was a deep navy blue, dotted with stars that glittered dimly. The only other color came from a bright stripe of purple and magenta that slowly drifted up and down across the mane's length.
Even as she took in the scene, Celestia refused to believe it, rejecting everything before her. At least, she did until the alicorn turned to meet their gazes with her own serpentine eyes, and then she could deny the truth no longer.
"Hello, 'Princesses'," snarled Nightmare Sparkle, slowly ascending the steps to the thrones. "What do you think of my new kingdom? Do you like what I've done with it?"
Celestia, frozen in horror at what had become of her love, had no reply, but Luna strode forward irately.
"Twilight Sparkle!" she bellowed, stopping a dozen feet before the steps leading to the thrones. "What is the meaning of this?! Thou knowest that Equestria is not meant to be ruled by a single Princess! Did thou learn nothing from our own experience?"
"Oh, I learned, Luna. Trust me. That's one thing I've always been good at, at least." Wings still held firmly at her side, she began to lift off from the dais, dark magic swirling about her body. "And that's why I made sure not to return until I could deal with all of you!"
She fired a beam of energy from her horn, thick and black, straight at the other Princess. Luna managed to get a shield up around herself, but only barely. And in the end, it didn't matter; the bolt hit the shield, which bowed for a moment, then melted, and Luna was enveloped by the beam of energy.
When the dust and light faded away, Luna still stood there, but as a stone statue.
Celestia stared at the statue of her sister for a moment, shock and dismay on her face, then trotted forward determinedly to stand at the bottom of the dais Twilight floated above.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't my old teacher. Looks like I've learned some new tricks, doesn't it?" sneered the Nightmare Princess. "I'll tell you what, I can turn you to stone too, and keep the both of you in my garden. At least you and your sister can be together that way."
"Twilight… Twilight, why? Why do all of this? What reason could you possibly have?" pleaded Celestia.
"You know exactly why," growled Twilight in a low voice, eyes narrowed. "They used me, made me just a means to an end. They never loved me. No one did, and no one ever will. And so, none shall feel the light of the moon or sun, or any love at all!"
"But that's not true, Twilight," Celestia said softly, moving one hoof up to the first step of the dais. "I love you. I always have, and I always will."
"You… you what?" Twilight blinked, her normal eyes fading back into existence as she floated back down to the dais. "But… but you can't."
“I do, Twilight. I've loved you for years. I never said a thing, but whenever you were around I never stopped watching you, never wanted to let you out of my sight. It crushed me when you said you loved another, but I kept going, for you, and did my best to be happy for you. And it broke my heart when you ran away after your own heart was broken, rather than letting me comfort you. Rather than... letting me love you.”
"But… but after everything I've done… after what I did to get this power, what I just did to your sister… no, no, you can't! No!"
Twilight threw her head back in a scream, and the dark power swirled off her body, forming into a cloud that twisted above her. Then that power crashed back down, turning Twilight into a stone statue just like Luna. After a moment, the statue began to crack and crumble, falling to pieces.
"NO!" cried Celestia, dashing up the stairs. She ran as fast as she could, faster than she had in centuries, but no matter how quickly she moved she felt like she was stuck in molasses, and there were always more stairs before her. By the time she made it to the top, all that was left of Twilight was a pile of dust and stone shards.
“No...” she moaned, falling down and beginning to weep softly. “Please, no. Come back to me, my love. Please...”
Her sobbing was interrupted by a laugh from above. Looking up sharply, she spotted Luna, standing upon the ceiling.
“My, my, my,” the Night Princess said, eyes flashing as she looked down—or up, depending on your perspective—at her older sister. “Now this is an interesting development.”
As Celestia watched, mouth hanging open, Luna pushed off from the ceiling. Tumbling lazily, she drifted down, landing lightly next to the statue of herself.
"Is this really how you see me?" she asked critically, inspecting the statue as she circled it. "My nose is not that big."
"What, but you're…" Celestia closed her eyes momentarily, shaking her head.
As she did, Luna rolled her eyes and sighed. "And now the statue is gone…" she said, casting a glance to the empty spot next to her for confirmation, "because when confronted with a contradiction the easiest solution is to make the least favorable option be the one to disappear."
She laughed, beginning to trot idly around the room, inspecting the architecture. "It's been a long time since I've come to see you like this, but it's always fascinating how much of a pony's personality I can learn about during these visits. For example, all the frescoes in our throne room that you don't like? Completely gone here! Oh, and that bit where you were sad that Twilight was in love with somepony else, and all of Equestria tried to cheer you up because you're so self-sacrificing and nice and perfect? I always knew you liked to play the victim, but that was a bit much even for you."
Luna chuckled as Celestia looked on in confusion and anger. She opened her mouth to reply, but before she could berate her sister for treating her grief as some kind of joke, she woke up.
Groaning, Celestia fought her way up and out of her quicksand-like bed and pillows. Sitting upright, she checked the time in her head, found it should be sunrise, and made it so, quickly, quietly and without fuss. Her duty rarely required any actual ceremony.
That done, she took in a deep breath, and let it out in a long sigh that made the unkempt strands of hair hanging from her head ruffle with a breeze that had nothing to do with their normal ethereal waver.
“I guess that's it, then,” she said into the silence of her royal bedroom. “I... I am in love with Twilight.”
That thought took a back seat as another realization about her recent dream hit her, and her eyes widened.
“Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!” she yelled, springing from her bed with such force that, had she not years ago invested in a frame reinforced with titanium for just such occasions, it would have collapsed.
She telekinetically ripped her regalia from the ponnequin where it spent the nights, took a precious second to consider trying to put it on, and near-instantly rejected that idea. Every moment counted right now.
Flipping a mental coin, she galloped to the balcony and flung herself off into the air.
The barest fraction of a second later, the doors burst open and Luna trotted in, face full of all the mischievous teasing she had planned. Finding the room empty only put the tiniest moue of disappointment on that face before it recovered, and she turned around and raced back out.
*snickers*
Hmmm i'm liking this amount of Twilestia coming out.
Looking forward to seeing how this develops.
Lol hope to read more soon
I'm ready you guys ready for one hell of a ride
You got me hooked right there. This is going into my "Read when completed" Pile. I hope for the best.
Not usually one for Twilestia, teacher/student relationships creep me out, but given who is writing this I'm willing to go along for the ride as it is certain to be hilarious.
Twilestia usually isn't my thing, but the promise of shenanigans has me intrigued. I look forward to see what comes of the bookworm and the crap-screamer.
7181472 You are betraying your name... almost.
That was a sort of roller-coaster first chapter. Hmmm... but I'll track it. Want to see where this goes, given how brilliant "Changeling Courtship Rituals" was.
Oh dear, this looks like it will be Chineighs interesting, before long.
Not a fan of Twilestia, always seen them having more of a mother-daughter relationship (I'm more of a TwiLuna guy). But you did write CCR, so I can guess at what to expect from this...
And it will be glorious!
7181634
Most everything. I'm allowed to dislike some things.
7182629 Yes, but Twilestia is not one of them. It's the first ship in the fleet, we witness it even before any other. I'm afraid you'll have to change your name to FanOfSomeThings now.
7182629
Personally, I just always find it vaguely creepy. It just gives a whole new meaning to "cradle robbing." Celestia knows Twilight since she was practically an infant. The beginning of the story even puts emphasis on how lengthy their relationship has been. Something just isn't right about that. There's a reason why teacher-student relationships are frowned upon in the real world.
Doesn't mean it may not still be an interesting story - and it certainly started out funny enough - but still kind of deserved saying.
Well f*ck you too, Luna.
way to go luna for help your sister figure out her own feelings, but my question is, at what point in timeline does this happen, ie after twilight gain her wings?? after twilight get the castle?, after starlight become twilight student?? or does this happen after the GGG??? or right after luna become free??
7182948 agree, it as if the princess choose twilight to be her mate, and groom her to fulfill this single role.....
7182470 is large fan of twiluna and moonlight, and I agree with you that I view those two as more of mother/daughter then lovers but there are few good ship of these two that are good.
Go get 'er Luna!
So when did Tia's dream start?
I was not expecting the emotional rollercoaster of feels this first chapter took me on.
Interesting start.
Normally, I have a very hard time suspending my disbelief when it comes to either Twilight or Celestia (or any pony, really) suddenly coming to the realization that they are in love with the other just for the sake of the ship. I was glad to see that this story not only starts with an interesting dream sequence that draws in the reader, but also justifies Celestia feelings (and subsequent disbelief) right out the gate. And not just a simple "I love you because x reason" but to actually show the range of emotions she felt for Twilight, without the plot dragging on and on explaining it. Well done.
7183480
The world may never know...
7183306
Right now it takes place in a vague 'after season four' time. Twilight has her wings and castle, but other than that there's no hard time assigned to anything in the story. Given that I currently have 4-5 planned stories in this series, with a lot of major characters appearing, I'm keeping my options open.
The term for what I'm doing is 'floating timeline'. Think of The Simpsons - the shows been going for thirty years, and just kind of updates with modern times and events while keeping everything else the same. That's how I plan on doing it. Events from season five and onward will be included when and if I see fit.
7184179
I'm not saying parts of it were foreshadowing...
But parts of it might have been foreshadowing.
LoL this my first crush in a Nutshell
7184240 I think you put it as well as can be said. The ship was done in a single short chapter yet didn't feel rushed, that takes skill.
Now i almost feel embarrassed for being caught up in the dream, I had at least 2 WTF-moments while reading that.
7182948
While the student-teacher thing might have been an issue earlier in the show, I feel like it really isn't anymore. Yes, Celestia was Twilight's teacher at one point, but they've grown beyond that over the course of the show. Twilight went from small child being privately tutored to grad student studying on her own and getting occasional assignments (such as stopping her teacher's evil sister from taking over the world), to a post grad doing her own research project on her own, to finally becoming a full equal of her professor.
The last episode actually makes a really interesting example of this. Compare Twilight preparing for Celestia's visit in A Bird in the Hoof to her preparing in No Second Prances. In the first, she's panicking like normal, but in the latest she's just casually setting the table while trying to teach to her own student. The dynamic between Twilight and Celestia has clearly evolved and matured over the years.
Also in regards to the student/teacher relationship, they aren't really student and teacher anymore, and there has to be a cutoff at some point there, right? Or can you just never have a relationship with anyone who was a teacher to you at any point? I think the taboo against student/teacher relationships is more about having the relationship while still student/teacher. Once that's done, I don't think there's really an issue (statutory laws permitting, of course).
Which brings up the issue of age, which, on one hand, does seem to be more of a problem. As you brought up, she's known Twilight since she was basically an infant. However, since she is the immortal Goddess of the sun, she's theoretically known EVERY pony since they were infants, including those long gone. That doesn't leave her many options, other than her sister of course, and that's a whole different fic.
As for the age difference, it comes down to a matter of perspective and scale. Let's say there are two people in a relationship who are 20 years apart. Now, if they're 10 and 30, that's a problem, one that involves cops and a lot of jail time. But say they're 80 and 100. I don't think anyone would have a problem with that. In fact, most people would think it was sweet - assuming they hadn't started off as that first example, of course.
So while it might be a tad awkward now, given the 1000+ years age difference, that would start to fall off fairly rapidly I'd think - probably wouldn't take more than a century or two. I'd imagine there's diminishing returns once you've lived a few lifetimes.
Of course, I just wasted all this time typing all this out when I could have let Celestia explain it all in two sentences. Have a little preview from chapter eight - nothing spoilery at all here, don't worry.
7185280
In all honesty? I genuinely agree with her there. Yes, she is denied that.
It's not even the age thing. I don't really buy into the whole "all alicorns are immortal" angle, personally, but that's separate. I've been involved in some relationships with a large age difference. They can work, so long as both partners have roughly equal expectations. Rarely long-term, but at least temporarily. That said, relationships between professors and their former students are looked at somewhat askance where I live anyway. It's considered somewhat suspect.
She does have such a relationship with practically everyone - and that's pretty much the problem. She isn't just a person, she's a fixture. She doesn't just know you, she probably knew your parents, and your great-parents, and their great-parents. Every single Equestrian learns about her from the moment they're born, literally. It's a unique situation and to her detriment, somewhat unique rules apply to that. She's simply too large a part of their life already. In Twilight's case, the relationship becomes this unholy, quasi-incestuous union of being with your mother, teacher and boss at the same time. As well as god-figure, if we bring your interpretation into it.
I just don't think that's a basis for a healthy relationship with anyone. You can't really say "no" to someone like that, emotionally.
Even Luna and Discord are only second-worst options, because before all else, she's the person who imprisoned them for 1000+ years. That's always the defining angle to their relationship, even if it has become more cordial recently. The only thing I can see really work for her is someone who is, as much as possible, an outsider. Someone who wasn't raised under her direct influence. Dragon, griffin, foreign pony, whatever, so long as it's not someone who actually grew up in Equestria and can have a somewhat distanced attitude to her whole "god-empress of horsie-kind" position. Luna is, somewhat ironically, luckier in that sense. Being a relative outsider herself, she can have that kind of relationship with people, so long as they're willing to overlook the Nightmare Moon thing.
Everything else just strikes me as unhealthy, for both parties. A relationship that isn't (relatively) equal isn't a relationship at all and ultimately just hurts both parties. Neither of them can really get what they want or need out of it.
Moar pls!
I still dont get why so many people ship Celestia with twilight for one its creepy like dating your own mother another thing Celestia has an official romance in the Comics with Alternate universe Sombra yes at the end Sombra became evil because he sacrificed himself to absorb Evil Celestia so that good Celestia isnt sealed away but they are still a cute couple
The race is on, as Trolluna stalks her prey. Nice imagery all around, especially the whole hanging from the ceiling, and that dream was dark but captivating. Way to go!
HYPE HYPE HYYYYPE!
7186007 but if Princess Luna really wanted to get to Celestia she just go over to Twilights place or in Twilights dreams take some pichers of Twilight since she can't find Celestia and then show Celestia the ones of Twilight that Luna think are cute.
7185913 I think it is just for fun as well as what if I'm more of a celestia a discord fan but I still posted a twilight celestia fan fic that a what if Celestia was a he and he is just pretending to be a she as well as twilight went back in time and fall in love with him. I just doing it because it came tp me and it is just for fun
Instantly fav'ed. This is AMAZING so far! I looooove on how you did a Timeline of Twilight's and Celestia's time together!!!
Can't wait for chapter 2!!
Ooh you really got me with that twist at the end, well done!
I'm definitely going to follow this. ^^
7183306
So you're saying that Luna gave Celestia literally the worst nightmare that she could ever have, just to have her admit that she loved Twilight? That's cruel on so many levels.
You did well with your description. I find it rather difficult to find interesting stories nowadays, and I've always liked TwiLestia, so I decided to give this a chance.
But... in the 2.4k words that you have published, you showed us very little of what you said in the description. You showed us a lot of tiny snippets, mostly redoing what the show has already shown us. The parts that you wrote about Twilight falling in love, being murdered, then Twilight come back as an evil character all seem like excerpts from chapters of a much, much longer story. Essentially, you rob us of the emotional bond that you try to instill within us to keep us hooked on the story, especially when you have Celestia tell this evil Twilight that she loved her. I think it would have been better to have actually written all of that out in a much longer story, like I already mentioned. Having Celestia be on the verge of telling Twilight she loves her when Twilight tells her she's in love with someone else would have been very moving, and then to have her die and come back would have been an excellent twist.
Furthermore, I think that Celestia waking up from that dream saying "Welp, looks like I'm in love with Twilight..." feels kinda lazy. The story that you described in your description pretty much just starts when Celestia wakes up, too. The numerous page breaks broke the immersion of the story for me, and I was stuck trying to figure out what was a dream and what wasn't.
In closing, I do think that you could have started this off without all of the filler at the beginning. You promised us a funny, romantic shipfic, but gave us Celestia being sad at Twilight's betrayal, death, and funeral, all things that I was not expecting given the current tags. You write pretty well, too, which is great. To see a good story plagued with typos is a deal breaker for me, so I'm glad to see that this story was free of them.
I think I'll stick around to see where this goes.
7188401 Have to say I actually agree with you on this one. This wasn't anywhere that I thought it would be based on the description. Chapter excerpts that felt rushed and LOTS of room for emotional yanking of the readers heartstrings felt wasted in the delivery.
Still on my tracking list to see where this goes.
7188401 Keep in mind, this is only the first chapter, and a pretty short one at that. There's plenty more story left to fill in the blanks and deliver on the promises set forth by the synopsis. This first chapter accomplishes exactly what it set out to do: grab the reader's attention and establish Celestia's feelings/motivations through events both real and imagined. It's there to set up the rest of the story, not tell it all at once.
I'd agree there might be a slight tonal shift toward the end of the dream sequence, but without seeing the rest of the narrative, it's hard to say if it was appropriate or not. There is most likely a good reason why the first chapter is written this way, but that remains to be seen.
7189634
I disagree. It barely accomplishes that. It didn't grab my attention until the very end, the part where Celestia wakes up. The author pretty much reiterated what we've seen in the show for most of the first chapter, save for the parts where Twilight dies and comes back to life. That part by itself seems like a cheap way to introduce the fact that Celestia loves Twilight, and having Luna chilling in the nightmare is lazy. If Luna truly cared about her sister's well-being, she would have stopped that nightmare before it got too far, and letting it go that far is cruel. Furthermore, having Luna come in at the end to tease her big sister after she had a horrible nightmare is a huge dick move.
The dream sequence was no different from the small scenes that the author wrote about, so to me, while I was reading it, I actually thought that Twilight had died and had returned as an evil pony. And since this story isn't tagged as Dark, naturally I was confused. You don't want your readers to be confused. The first thing that indicated that those little sections was actually one big dream was the part that mentioned Luna on the ceiling, that felt like it was thrown in as an afterthought. Surely there can be a better way for the author to show us that it's a dream. Having Luna standing on the ceiling is just strange. If she truly loved Celestia, Luna would have intervened a hell of a lot sooner. She isn't as petty as the author portrays her as.
This first chapter has very little to offer to the reader. It doesn't have one page break, not two, but freaking ten?? On average, that's 240 words per scene, nowhere near enough to properly tell a story. The author should have focused in on just one or two scenes and then expanded upon those, giving us that much-needed connection to the characters that we need to stay interested in the story. Furthermore, the first six scenes can easily be deleted as they contribute very little to the actual story. This chapter gave us no connection to Celestia at all, and it really feels like the author is telling us to feel bad for her just for the sake of the story.
I think that the chapter was written this way because the author wanted to give us a highly-condensed version of a much larger story, cherry-picking the most important scenes just so he could get to the part that he wanted to get to: the TwiLestia romance. There are better ways to show us that Celestia is in love with Twilight.
7185702 And now the human/Celestia shipping has a leg to stand on.
7189739
It's clear you and I drew different conclusions based on what was written.
Maybe it's just me, but I recognized immediately that something was up from the very beginning. The numerous page breaks, presenting past events but from a different perspective than what we are familiar with, the unusually quick pace. It wasn't traditional at all. It lead me to suspect that what I was reading wasn't "reality", which was pretty much confirmed right at the moment Twilight told Celestia about somepony she was in love with. Up until that point, every event was something seen in canon, but then there's this love interest out of nowhere? Then all these terrible things start happening? Clearly this was a dream, a projection of Celestia's fears. I was not at all surprised to see Luna appear a few paragraphs later. In fact, her nonchalant behavior felt almost like vindication, like the author was giving a nod to those who figured out what was going on before it was outright spelled out.
Was Luna's behavior a bit OOC? Perhaps, given the time frame this story takes place. I agree that the story presented her as a bit heartless, seeming to not be that concerned about her sister given the terrible nightmare she was having. Then again, her place in this story seems to be antagonistic, based on first impressions alone. Is this appropriate? Was this the right character for that? I can't really say without seeing the rest of the story.
You are right in saying that the beginning does not advance the plot in the slightest, but I would not go so far as to say that those passages were not necessary. It's important to establish character motivations early, especially with Twilestia, due to all the unfortunate implications that surround their relationship. One glance at the rest of these comments shows that some people are still not comfortable with the ship as is, and providing justification fast is vital to retain interest. Could the author have jump-started the plot before this whole dream sequence? Of course. Would it have been better for it? I can't say for sure, because this chapter is only a single part of a whole.
But more than that, it seems to me that the author wants us to understand Celestia, at the very least, before the plot gets underway. The events of the dream may or may not be relevant, but it is there for a reason. Is it foreshadowing? What parts are going to be relevant? It'd be interesting to see how the author pulls that together. This goes back to justifying the relationship as well, since the author is essentially playing the "I just realized I loved you all along" card, which I personally detest. I don't know about you, but to just have Celestia out of the blue ask Twilight on a date as the first line in the story would be incredibly jarring to me (or maybe funnier, if the follow-up to that is good). But to show a train of thought that justifies it at least a little keeps that knee jerk reaction from overwhelming the reader. Could it have been better presented and paced? Probably.
Now I'm not saying the author's delivery was perfect. There's quite a few things I'd have done differently. Like you pointed out, having Celestia outright state she's in love with Twilight seems lazy and the end of the dream seems a bit too dark. There are certainly different ways to convey the same information, sure, but again, haven't seen the rest of the story, so I don't know if one method is better than the other at this time.
I think the biggest blunder here is that the author did all this set-up in the first chapter, but ended the chapter before the plot picked up steam. There was the hook, but no substantial follow-up. If the author were to release two chapters rather than just the first, a lot of these problems would have solved themselves.
This has a great set up and I know it'll be a very funny story.
7182948
The entire reason teacher-student relations are looked down upon is not because of the age. It's because of one being in a position of authority over the other, so some people believe that manipulation and force into physical or financial relationships are automatically present.
People don't bat an eye when some pretty young thing shacks up with a grandpa, after all. Some snide remarks, gold-digging questions, but how many people protest it? Laws against it? Only against boss/employee teacher/student sort of relations. As long as everyone involved is old (and mature) enough to know what they're doing and physically mature enough, it's not really a moral issue, and that's close to the age where it's no longer a legal issue either. And we figure Twilight is at least 16 if not more.
Twilight, while a junior, is still of effectively equal rank to Celestia now, and really - once you're an immortal like Celestia it's best just to consider her 'middle-aged' for romantic reasons, because she counts as a mature woman and that's really all that matters.
7182948 My father was out of highschool before my mother was born. So long as the younger party is old enough at the time it really isn't as bad as it sounds on paper.
Aww yeah, another fic from the guy that gave us the masterpiece that was CCR. And involving Chryssie as well, w00t!
I put this story in my favourites before I started reading it.