• Member Since 22nd Jun, 2013
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Stahlseele


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3207903
Ah, yeah I do agree the ending is the weakest part. It'd probably look better in a visual medium since the entire story was more or less an exercise in subtext, since I've not attempted to use it much in the past. The plot was finished at that point however, short of a timeskip that would probably largely retread ground covered in Prologue. Any expansion of the plot would therefore have to come in the form of either filling time that Luna logically has to spend doing her normal job (as mentioned at various points, she's still got to read and approve paperwork, attend events and so on in between this project, at least until summer rolls around and Celestia takes on the bulk of that work again with the lengthening days) or padding out the length of time it takes to resolve the dispute... But in a couple of months Olenia is going to be invaded by the Changelings and the response to that is a short story of its own.

(Spoilers ahead for anyone who's not read the fic)
On the topic of subtext, essentially this was a story of pragmatist (Luna) versus perfectionist (Buff Envelope), but up until the end Luna thought Envelope was a directly obstructive force of red tape. An enemy rather than an ally with a differing opinion on policy, so to speak, who has in fact been trying to do the same thing as her for years, even before the Dotted Line Report, just in a very systematic and slow manner because that's the only way Envelope can get anything done with the limited authority and even more limited resources at her disposal. In this capacity, she's only been able to slow the decay and make token efforts toward laying the groundwork for eventually having at least some functioning army units, such as the 18th Brigade.
Buff Envelope meanwhile throughout the fic was basically aiming Luna like a raging bull toward each problem by means of antagonism so that she could ride on her much greater authority to actually get things done. The problem came from Luna being rather more zealous than Envelope expected, meaning she was almost immediately forced to put on the brakes to, in her mind, prevent chaos. Luna at the end offers the olive branch that once the ad hoc bandage is on the system, then they can then tidy things up, rather than risking another Tirek incident or what have you happening while they do things the slow way. From that point on, they're going to be cooperating much better.

3207901
What was there was well written enough to deserve it.
Nary a spelling or grammar error that jumped out at me.
Sadly a bit too short and a bit too abrupt of a non ending
in my opinion though. It felt as if there were supposed to
be more to the antagonism between Luna and that Buff
Envelope Mare.
I had expected Luna to basically dismiss what she had
delivered because of her trying to get in Lunas way and
to make her own report to hammer through the change
she wants to see happen.

Thanks for the favouriting Reform, I'm glad you enjoyed. Do be sure to check the appendices attached if you're interested in more information! :raritywink:

3192351
Yeah sorry, that was a bit of a learning experience :twilightblush:

3192347
Nice to see a new chapter after so long

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