• Member Since 20th Jul, 2015
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Codex Ex Equus

The writing account of Deus Ex Equus.


Just because the two sisters have led Equestria through thousands of years of peace doesn't mean there aren't those who think they can do better.

With a powerful artifact on their side, a group of rebels has sealed Celestia in her palace and stripped her of the majority of her powers. As the last of her guards fall, she hears the pounding on the throne room doors and knows the end is coming soon...

**Featured on the front page on 8/12/15; both surprising and flattering seeing as how this is the first thing of substantial length I've posted here. Thanks all!

**Now with a dramatic reading!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 244 )

Funny, and I loved Celestia talking about her crown. It makes her later actions interesting.

Celestia is always either curbstomping her enemies (in fanfic), or folding like wet toast. (in canon.) The rationalizations are interestingly all the same--- that she was, or has been in the past, holding back her true power for some abstract reason. I seriously desire to see her face an adversary on equal grounds--- no excuses, no "I was holding back because innocents were present/ I was hiding my full power/ it was all part of a cunning plan/ it was my beloved sister...."

Who are you and what the buck have you done with the real RealityCheck? Because I find myself once again AGREEING with you. I want to see Celestia let loose on an adversary.

Luna's last line seems ridiculous. I mean, why yell at Celestia for being a fool when she had everything easily under control?

The other thing that bugs me about this is just how many ponies could have been hurt, particularly by Celestia waiting in the throne room, if the rebels hadn't been concerned with preventing loss of life.

6307573 Not so much just unleashing her on an enemy, but seeing her battling with a genuine match. That's the thing; whether she's curbstomping or being curbstomped, the fanon excuse is that she was, or is, concealing her true power for some inscrutable reason.

6307624 Because Luna is a worrying younger sister? After all, Celestia was severely weakened and outnumbered but still was trating this coup like a joke.

Yet clearly Celestia had them all badly outmatched anyways.

6308088 I agree. That doesn't go against what I said though.


Especially love Celestia having been an earth pony before an alicorn.

So Celestia taking off her crown is like Hulk Hogan ripping his shirt?

Headcanon successfully updated.

Great, now I'm imagining Celestia pulling pro-wrestler moves on all those hapless soldiers. :rainbowlaugh:

The soldiers did not do their research, they also could have aired out their grievances first instead of planning a coup. What would they have done that would have been better? Ponies already have control over how their lives go and don't have to do whatever Celestia tells them to unless it is their jobs. Which admittedly makes the rogue soldiers a bit dumb sounding given what their jobs are.

Instead of trapping Celestia in a room with them, they trapped themselves in a room with her.

“TIME FOR A HISTORY LESSON!” *cue Guile's theme music*

Interesting. So Celestia's regalia are basically DBZ weighted armor if I'm reading this right?

"Without that connection, my magic is only slightly more powerful than the strongest unicorn's. "

Like Celestia's choice of words here.

Her MAGIC is weakened, not her Earth Pony strength or Pegasus speed, foreshadowing the reveal she's a Lightning Bruiser.

6307539 have to say I would like to see an episode in canon that actually addresses the real power level of the alicorns.

I still think of Twilight as the first ascended Alicorn rather than born that way, otherwise Celestia's statement of 'made new magic' makes no sense.

And destroying something that can slightly weaken Celly if she goes Daymare Sun would be short sighted I think.

Exile WHERE exactly?

Iacs #19 · Aug 12th, 2015 · · 7 ·


Season 4, episode 2. Celestia and Luna has a short fight in heavily enchanted castle in the middle of city.
Season 1, episode 2, thouthand years later. Castle is ruined and there are no traces of city. Thouthand years in the forest is not enough to totaly hide ruins of city, especially if ground level did not change.

That is what happens when alicorns fight at full power. That is why Celestia did not fight Crysalis at wedding.

Five, in fact, seem to have hit that mural that you claimed had a carving where your butt looked big.

So essentially what you're saying is that it took five stallions to destroy Celestia's ass?
... Sounds legit. :trollestia:

Excerpt from the mlp wiki on Princess Cadence:

Princess Cadance is featured in the chapter book Twilight Sparkle and the Crystal Heart Spell. The book tells the story of Twilight Sparkle after she'd been made an Alicorn and seeks advice on being a princess. She turns to Cadance, who tells her life story, how as a baby Pegasus she was found in the woods by Earth ponies, who took her to their village. When she grew up she reversed a love-stealing spell cast by a pony called Prismia. Prismia wore a magic-enhancing necklace that amplified her evil and jealousy, but when Cadance confronted her, the necklace amplified Cadance's love. Once Prismia changed her horrible ways, Cadance was surrounded by magical energy and transported to a strange place where she met Celestia, who adopted her as her royal niece.

I am not sure if you are one of those people who only follow the show' s events or someone who rejects the books and comics as proper cannon, but as you can see in the passage above, Cadence ascended before Twilight, making Cadence the first to ascend that we know of. Hoping future issues can give us some more details on Celestia and Luna' s ascension/birth, though.

Sometimes we all need to be ourselves.

Honestly, the picture of Celestia the brawler fits pretty well in my head. I can easily image her abandoning her poise for a little bit while she just wails on a deserving target.

Why would you need a special weakening artifact to weaken a crazy alicorn when friendship and love save the day? I'm not even being sarcastic when I say they're the strongest forces in the setting regardless of what you have.

I like the idea that the forest is so 'chaotic' because of their battle, too. It literally broke the area's natural order.


I consider the IDW comics more canon than that story and the two sisters book.


Better safe than sorry.

Sad that there was no discord cameo

Celestia the Fury Warrior, and Luna the Frost Death Knight? Barely restrained (or not) passion vs stone-cold discipline. Yes, please. The world needs more of this.

For whatever reason people assume Celestia and Luna have to have some OP powers. They're strong magically to be sure; but not much more than Twilight is. They operate primarily by the wealth of their experience; smarter, not harder.

6309135 it's not A forest, it's The Forest. It's semi-sentient as a whole and it actively resists and subverts pony magic. The city was build primarily by ponies; their masonry isn't brick and mortar alone, it's earth pony magic (supplemented by other races). Break that and it fades to dust. The castle was the seat of power. Alicorns, the Elements and so on. It's the only reason it's still standing relatively intact.

Hmm. Not fond of the part where she's called a deity, but otherwise, this was indeed comical. That was an epic fail by the rebel force.


That is why Celestia did not fight Crysalis at wedding.

Ah ha ha! No, ridiculous. There are so many reasons why that's absurd. If you'd like I could PM you a list.

On topic, very good story! Is it really named celastiar?

Someone's been reading Dune....

This fits is my headcannon of Princess Celestia perfectly.

Sweet on the inside but ready to kick some @$$ when the time calls for it!

Very funny, I do admire when an author changes Celestia and Luna from born alicorns to ascended ones. You even got her subtle sense of humor. :moustache:

Loved it, but... yeah, it seems unrealistic. Would these rebels really have thought that cutting Celestia off from the sun alone would be enough? The general even admitted that she was stronger than any of them individually, and it seems like a huge oversight that he would forget that she's part earth pony and could probably bend a railroad beam with her thighs.

6309548 Hence, comedy. :pinkiehappy:

I did not find this funny at all. I could not accept that Celestia somehow managed to stay extremely skilled in fighting over the millenia and kept her skills a secret from her general who was planning a coup and thus would research everything he could about the rulers he was overthrowing. Even if she could, it's further unbelievable she could defeat thirty-six professional soldiers. She might be individually more skilled than any of them by an order of magnitude, but these are still among the best warriors Equestria would have, and there are thirty-six of them. It completely wrecked any humor the story might had have.

"I'll have you know I can flatten steel between my thighs."

I now want a fic where Celestia casually demonstrates the psi of her thighs to a room of sexually frustrated stallions.

6309654 I was laughing my ass off the entire time.

6309135 Sigh. Okay, we all saw the flashback that showed the ACTUAL battle--- and other than some fairly minor cosmetic damage to the castle, no, it wasn't a massive destructo-battle.

This is just what I'm saying. People write a fanfic and she curbstomps someone--- "oh, I've been holding back till now." People write a different fanfic about where she gets whupped--- "oh, I had to hold back that time, otherwise...." Whether she wins or loses, it's always because she was ridiculously overpowered. Just for once, I would like to see someone write Celestia into a fight where she was actually facing a genuine, believable, no tricks, no-this-is-not-part-of-my-thousand-year-plan fight for survival.

welllll.... this is y you don't mess with kindness, I refer you to Fluttershy on the night of the first grand galloping gala for more info.

Veylon #41 · Aug 12th, 2015 · · 5 ·

“I do hope you've left at least some of my guards alive,” she said serenely. “It takes quite a long time to train them, you know.”

Yes, thank you Celestia for sipping tea while the coup you easily could've cut short racked up the body count.

“Thousands of years of relative peace and prosperity; is that what you are saving my little ponies from? Do you really think you can do better than an all-powerful sun Goddess who had generations upon generations of experience ruling before even your great-great-great-great-great-grandparents were born?”

Pro-tip: If someone needs to tell you how great they are, they probably aren't. A much indicator of her experience and benevolence might be the fact that the pony she promoted to general had no problem hatching a undetected coup under her nose while rounding up an army of supporters.

This was kind of eh. It's a kind of punching-down humor where the strong can do as they will, the weak suck, and we should laugh at them for daring to rise above their station. I wouldn't mind see Celestia deliver a righteous beatdown, but there was nothing righteous about this; she was just smashing for fun. Nothing at all was ever at stake. And, no, there's nothing wrong with her having fun by itself, it's that she's happily willing to do so at the expense of others. If she really wants to brawl all that bad, the Everfree's chock-a-block with dangerous monsters and her ex-student regularly gets into fights; doing either of things would actually be useful and not just be a mess for someone else to clean up.

6309815 *raises hand* I did one, but unless you like Prototype crossovers...

6309815 Sunset This is a fic that puts Celestia into a situation where she has to fight for her life with all her power. It is a generally good read as well, and has a sequel and prequel but is completely stand alone. I haven't even read the prequel or sequel myself yet, and I enjoyed this immensely.

6309749 I'm aware that many people find this funny, but I also know that most authors like to know why someone downvoted their fic.

hold up a scroll in her hoofs

Otherwise excellent! I love a good angry overpowered Celestia fic! I think you portrayed her well, whether or not jokingly. I think she would do something like this. Though I should say, her dialogue is kind of out of character in some spots. She almost sounds like Rarity in some spots.

This was fun, but the denouement should have been a lot shorter. A third of the story was devoted to the resolution of the surprise which was awesome, but the long ending just added several jokes, most of which weren't all that funny and just dragged the ending out.

Still, the story was awesome for the first two thirds.:rainbowkiss:


Why yell at Celestia? Because she didn't let Luna have any of the fun!


Celestia has no need to tell them how good she is at what she does. She is, instead, attempting to remind them just what they've chosen to oppose, in the vain hope that they will realize they have chosen the wrong path and solve things peacefully.

Think about it. Over a thousand years, from fighting Discord though forging a society based on harmony out of three warring factions of ponies. This is not the first time this has happened. Probably not even the tenth. By now Celestia knows how these things go.

Interesting fic. The idea of Celestia as a brawler is a little strange. Generally Luna takes on that role.

Heh, pretty funny. Makes me wonder what mortal Celestia was like.

but I also know that most authors like to know why someone downvoted their fic.

And you know, people would probably be willing to share their thoughts on that matter too if this community didn't have the tendency to downvote such things into oblivion. Seriously, try and say something bad about a popular story, and everyone loses their minds. Very much a, "How dare you not like this story for a reason I disagree with! Downvote comment!" response from most people. Just shows you what not following the herd gets you.

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