• Member Since 5th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen May 31st


I do nothing of merit. On occasion, I give the impression of being creative, but this is a deception. I am merely derivative in clever ways.


Royal Guard Silver Birch knows Princess Luna's history, and her... extreme reactions to being neglected in the past. When it seems Luna has been snubbed yet again, he and his partner Winter Garden take action to shield their Princess from this slight, and spare Equestria her terrible wrath.

(Inspired by a really dumb blog I did.)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 70 )

Well, this was interesting, and then...the end.
WHAM! :rainbowlaugh:
Didn't see the last sentence coming. :derpytongue2:

Ha! I laughed in the end. At least they fixed it.

Oh Luna. :rainbowlaugh:

She's so adorable tll the end~! This was a nice read and I love the inclusions of other ponies like Moon Dancer and Lyra. I'm almost positive that this friend Luna got her copy from is Rarity. It sounds like it could be her. :raritywink:

I was laughing throughout reading this. Well done!

Was I supposed to read this in Archer and Lana's voices, Delta?

Why yes you were, other Delta. Yes you were.


Garden froze a moment and swallowed, but then pressed on. “Are you sure promising ‘horrors that would render pale even the denizens of Tartarus’ and ‘not one night's peaceful rest ‘til this is forgotten’ actually qualifies as rational?”

Bang! Zoom! Straight to the moon!

And daat ending, never change Luna

Garden cocked her head to one side. “Okay, now you’re talking like Princess Twilight. I don’t follow.”

This is probably my favourite single line. Then again, if they watched Twilight grow up, it does make sense.

I really enjoyed this story, it has it's charm.

Oh, Luna :rainbowlaugh:

Still, a nice little read! Amusing fears, even more amusing little adventure, and a fun ending.
Good job :twilightsmile:

“Fortunately, I have a cunning plan.”

But he got lucky... This time.

I have trouble talking to any of them. That’s why I let you tell Princess Celestia the news about the Crystal Empire, even though I knew you’d be all dumb and cryptic about it.”

This I like. This is a perfect little random gag about the guard that told Celestia about the Crystal Empire, and I love how you pulled it off.

Well that was entertaining. I legitimately did not see the ending coming.

That bit about Luna losing a friend being a possible trigger for her slide into NMM was an interesting idea. Do you plan to do anything with that?

That was nicely done. Although, it could use one last little line from Luna...

"Well, I do have a reputation to keep..."

“Shouldn’t I be? Don’t you remember how long Lock Heart, Cloudy Day, and Summer Squall were off on medical when they took her on when she first came back as Nightmare Moon?” He snorted. “Besides, it’s not like you’re any better.”

Lock Heart. Seriously? You threw Lockheart into this?!

Good story. I like this one!

Yep. And don't forget his daughter, http://www.yankeecandle.com/fragrance/beach-flowers/_/N-1z140wt
And a castle maid in another of my stories, http://www.yankeecandle.com/fragrance/autumn-wreath/_/N-1z140ye

At this point I'm seeing how many I can work in.

There's another name joke in here that nobody's commented on yet, though.

A lover, actually, not just a friend. But yes, I mentioned in a blog for this story that it comes from my personal take on Hearth's Warming/the founding of Equestria, which I'm working on as a story that will remain exclusive to Patreon until it's completed in its entirety, and then be posted on FIMFic as a complete work.

References to it appear in Passing the Time (Clover's role in history) and Fading (the "unification war"), as well, and it's a larger factor in several unpublished stories I play with off and on.

It was.

I was just giving names to the three royal guard pegasi who got their asses kicked by Nightmare Moon back in Episode 2. They were meant as a reference, but Lock Heart wasn't intended to be a particular pony (I see numerous results for OCs with that name in a Google search, but no canon characters).

I'm a bit disappointed that you missed such an occasion (at least for me). It could go like this:
They talk to Luna, while she sits with her back to them. She levitates this letter to Garden, she reads it, asks the question like you wrote it. Then Luna turn her head to them, she looks at them with slitted, draconic eyes, and says "Yes, why do you ask?"

....maybe...she wrote that because that's what she figured the publishers were expecting....?

...aw, who am I kidding? She means every word.


6446121 Well, it IS a complaint letter to a publisher. What Luna wrote is rather on the light side! :rainbowlaugh:

6446121 Holy cake you made that reference!

I haven't read this yet, but I must, both for the Archer reference and the look on Luna's face. :rainbowlaugh:

Well, I'm glad someone appreciates how old I am!

Um... that was interesting title.

6447858 I knew who you were referring to in terms of the three pegasi from episode 1, I'd just thought that Lock Heart's name was in reference to Gilderoy Lockheart of the Harry Potter series.

I actually never even thought of that at all. But no, I mean all three names together are a reference to something outside the show.

It was fun. It felt sort of like a shaggy dog story though, lots of build-up for little payoff.

Ah, I think I know what that reference is. But I don't want to spoil anything.

Luna's got this, "I am so done with your shit" look on her face in the cover art...

The stories that have Luna going postal AGAIN over minor slights never fail to leave me writing 12-page rebuttals.

I need not do that here.

Well done.

“Shouldn’t I be? Don’t you remember how long Lock Heart, Cloudy Day, and Summer Squall were off on medical when they took her on when she first came back as Nightmare Moon?” He snorted. “Besides, it’s not like you’re any better.”

Oh, you clever devil. Have some Materia, a couple of Elixirs and a Speed-J scroll.

6452551 Wait, I get Cloudy Day and Summer Squall, but how is Lock Heart a reference to Final Fantasy?

When I wrote it, I was thinking of this guy.

But after it went up, I realized more people would probably think I meant this one, instead.

“You just pulled the pages with Luna out of one of the new ones and glued them into the old one!

There was a much better solution: take a copy with Luna missing and let his daughter draw her in with crayons. Then show Luna that copy and let her see that her little ponies remembered her.

Upboted just for the Archer reference

They spent the entire day, looking for a fucking coloring book!!??:facehoof::facehoof:

Paranoid ponies flipping out over minor things are best ponies.

Quite nice story:twilightsmile:

Yay I'm your 600th upvote :D

The ending won My upvote.

Well, Silver Birch and Winter Garden sure did have quite an adventure trying to find a coloring book and putting Luna in it. :derpytongue2: Also, that ending. That was quite hilarious. :rainbowlaugh:

Cute story. The final sentence makes the whole thing worth it. Have an upvote.

This is fantastic! :rainbowlaugh:

I'm curious just who this pony was that Luna lost. Any way you'll write a story about that?

Sometimes, Luna just needs to put the fear of the Goddess into Her Little Ponies. And by sometimes, I mean all the time.

That Archer reference.



... Danger zone~

I reviewed this story!

My review can be found here.

Old habits die hard

6591152 I'm not sure I catch your meaning. :rainbowhuh:

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