In a world without bacon, five humans find themselves trapped... grazing on mother bucking dandelions. To get home, they'll need to learn that friendship is magic. Too bad none of these jerks are friends.

When Sombra, ex-ruler of the Crystal Empire, is discovered alive and well, Twilight has her hooves full keeping the tyrannical king in check. Instead of the original plan of throwing him in a dungeon or banishing him to Tartarus, Celestia decides to go with the plan that worked out well enough for Discord.

To reform Sombra.

Pinkie takes the job, and gets right to work in helping Sombra become a better pony. Will Sombra finally change from his old, wicked ways and reform? Or will he instead strangle the annoying, pink menace known as Pinkie Pie?

Thanks to the awesomely talented Mickeymonster for letting me use his art! Check him out for even more spectacular artwork!

During his revenge against the Animal Shelter, Dan decided to stop at Burger Phile for a milkshake, a plain burger and a small soda. Then he ends up meeting with a pink haired girl that will change his life.
Cover Image provided by FlamesofBlades with the original art of Technaro. Please visit her DA gallery, It is awesome.

"We live in what we believe is a shell, a closed sphere where all is constant. As physics would have it, nothing in the universe is unique, nothing is wasted or destroyed: it is repurposed. But now I prove them wrong. With a single idea, I realize that we are not so insignificant as we think. We are not slaves to destiny and existence. We are the ashes of gods, the fruits of eternity, the products of choice and fate. We are not meaningless. This universe is not our prison.

This is our empire."

- Excerpt from A Lexicon of Impossibilities, by Cypher

Special thanks:
AeronJVL, for the amazing cover art.
Emberspeak, Forderz, RTStephens, PropMaster, and RazgrizS57 for their editing.
shortskirtsandexplosions for the idea.

Hey there. Name's Discord. I'm the janitor at a high school. I clean up after bratty teenagers and the odd drama queen or two that turns into a demon and wrecks up the school. Ain't my job grand?

Birthday gift to my bro Skeeter The Lurker, a really rad dude everyone should check out!

Awesome art from the greatly talented ManiacPaint, who you should definitely check out for more good art!

Out on the frontier, the only friend a pony can really trust is the gun in her hoof. Out where the land is wild and the buffalo roam, more than a few ponies have foregone scratching out a living on the farms or mines to seek riches and glory on the wrong side of the law. As a particularly mysterious and valuable cargo heads west on a long train journey, six mares follow with trouble in their wake, each intending to claim the prize for her own.

Also, a lot of ponies get shot.

Edited by: Exuno
Preread by: barbeque
Inspired by the art of: Coin-Trip39
(Make sure you take a look at the cover image full-size! It's fantastic!)

Boring life. Boring job. Boring friends. Would I trade it all away for a new life in a new world?

Hell no.

Do I get a choice in the matter?

Fat chance.
[/hr]
Not HiE per se; more like (Insert creature here)iE. No Mary-Sue, no self-insert; just a regular, cynical guy whose life became a bit more...Chaotic.
Not a 'Human in Equestria turned pony' story.

This story is a sequel to To Befriend the Night

A journey of one thousand miles begins with a single step, sure, but the remaining steps are no less difficult. You are merely more determined to survive them.

A deed which, like all others, is much better endured in good company.

Coverart once again done by jjames10 (or Tome Turner).

TD, the human first seen in No, I am NOT a Brony, GET ME OUTTA EQUESTRIA!!! has been in Equestria for a little over a year now and he's just beginning to fully adjust to his life there. However, when he wakes up one morning to discover that five of the Mane Six have switched cutie marks, he endures a significant change when he helps them out.

He is less than pleased.

Edited wonderfully by Strike89

Buy a print copy here!

Like a stallion terrified of having children, they pulled me out of retirement. I was the best Special Agent they had, which was saying a lot, because I'm about as effective at my job as a mime having a stroke, and only half as hilarious. But I've been called upon to serve my nation again, and like the gift of surprise fellatio, I am bound to serve my nation well, and hopefully without any of the implied sexual humiliation. So I gotta buckle up and prepare for survivor's guilt, just like the time I had to go up against those racially-biased SAT questions involving graphic violence, adult language, and some sexual content.
When you're in a noir situation like mine, you could only think in metaphors and similes.