Dan & Pinkie VS
Chapter 3 – Traffic? Use a bike! Also first date.
The week after Dan and Chris returned from Canada and their recoveries from their colds was really uneventful. Dan returned to his miserable lifestyle, not before changing and putting new locks on his door and windows; Chris finally found a temp job sitting on a desk all day getting his joy for life sucked away everyday; and Elise began developing a new chemical for the unnamed government agency she worked for.
In fact Elise had already finished preparing the chemical; the only thing that was still needed was to test if it could be stored in different temperatures without changing or losing its effects. As she began pouring the chemical in different biohazard containers, she heard ringing from outside the house, followed by a loud horn.
Curious, Elise went outside to check what or who was making those noises. And at her door was none other than her new friend Pinkie dressed as usual except for the addition of safety gear like helmet, knee and elbow pads and a change of footwear to sneakers.
“Pinkie nice to see you!” she greeted her first. “What is up with the gear?” she asked although she had a pretty good idea as for why.
“I was trying out my new bike and decided to visit!” she answered with a happy smile that was trademark of hers. “Check it out, isn’t it great?” She took a step sideways to let Elise have a good look at her bike.
Like a lot of things Pinkie had, her new bike was no exception. It was bright pink, but not entirely pink. The tires and the seat were white along with the handle bars. Also no Pinkie vehicle lacked accessories: like the colorful streamers in the handlebar, the basket decorated with tons of stickers and finally a small bell horn. Overall it was cutesy bike.
“Yeah…it is…so you!” Elise replied hesitantly. The bike was a little too much for her tastes; she preferred most things plain and simple, like her husband Chris, but still she didn’t want to sound rude with her friend.
“Why, thanks! I bought it since the traffic in this city began getting worse and worse. I have to use the Pinkmobile for just business from now on if it continues like this.” Yes, the Pinkmobile. Her little pink car now stood parked only to be used to carry stuff for her party events. On the plus side it was better for the environment and cycling was a good way of exercising.
“Yes, Chris has been telling me about how bad traffic has been.” If it weren’t for him Elise wouldn’t have noticed anything. She had been spending a lot of time indoors working on her project.
“Want to come inside? I have iced tea if you like,” she offered to her energetic friend who instantly took off all her gear. “Sure just let me chain my bike on something first!” Elise nodded and left the door unlocked for Pinkie while she served the tea.
A minute later Pinkie came inside and took the tea Elise offered her. “Thanks Eli!” After a short while of knowing each other Pinkie began calling her that because she thought it sounded cute, of course Elise didn’t like it at first but in the end she gave in. Now it didn’t bother her as much. At least it was better than Junior.
“Hey, What’s that?” Pinkie pointed out to the canisters with the biohazard logo on the table.
“Oh! That’s just non-lethal but debilitating chemical I developed for an unnamed government agen…cy” Elise answered in autopilot until she realized who she was talking to. She was too late to retract what she just said.
“Cool! What else?” Pinkie asked excited like it was a new gag-toy and not a possible weapon. Sometimes Elise had a hard time trying to guess what happened in that pink head of hers.
“Uh…it’s an inhalant that gives people vertigo for several months thus rendering them unable to use weapons effectively but keeping them alive.” Now that the metaphoric cat was out of the box Elise decided to give her the same explanation that she gave to Chris. She just hoped Pinkie didn’t ask too many questions. She would hate to make her new friend disappear.
“Wow! Do you think you could make some more for me?” Elise was shocked by that request. Why would Pinkie need a vertigo-inducing gas? Looking at the confusion on her friend’s face Pinkie explained.
“I want it for my prank parties!” Seeing that Elise still had a look of confusion at the term prank party, she decided to be more specific. “A prank party is a party, duh, which have tons of gag items and small traps hidden all around for everyone to fall into and laugh! So a gas that gives vertigo would be so funny! But could you make it so it last minutes and not months?”
Elise blinked a few times in order to process what her friend just said. Pinkie wanted her newly developed weapon for pranks? And never once she questioned why Elise had been making it in the first place? All of this and also the fact the something like “Prank Parties” existed made Elise question her friend’s care-free mentality.
“Sure, why not.” Elise ended up agreeing. Best not think about it and be grateful Pinkie didn’t interrogate her.
They sat there for a while enjoying their drinks and talking about little things like the different effect certain chemicals had on people and what exactly does a prank party entailed. Chris arrived 20 minutes later.
“Hey Chris! It sure took you a while!” Elise joked at her husband who was not in the greatest of moods. Working the temp job and all that.
“Yeah traffic was brutal, then I ran into Dan and I had to give him a ride home.” He explained. a little tired, but nothing a bunch of food couldn’t fix. Then he noticed the other occupant in the room “Oh, Hey Pinkie!” He must’ve been very tired to miss her.
“Hi Chris! Congrats on your new job!” At been reminded of his daily torture, Chris just chuckled. “Thanks, it’s not very fulfilling but it is a job.” Then he turned his head at the sound of the fridge opening.
“Look Chris, I know that sometimes I tell you not to eat something in the fridge but this time I’m really, really serious. DO. NOT. Open these canisters” To emphasize her point she took the canisters and showed them to Chris so he would remember which ones not to open. The ones with BIOHAZARD logo on them.
“I promise not to eat your chemicals even If I get hungry!” He promised by putting his right hand on the air and raising his index, middle and ring fingers like a boy scout.
“Uh uh I promise too!” said Pinkie very excited. “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye” She finished her chant by covering her right eye with her hand.
“You didn’t have to promise…” Elise began but she decided not to push the issue. “I thank you both for your promises.”
“You’re welcome!” Pinkie said in her usual happy voice, but then she toned down, “Hey, Chris. You have been seeing Dan recently right?” she asked the big guy who was stuffing his face with food he got gods know where.
“Uh-huh” He barely said with his mouth full, which prompted Pinkie to sigh sadly. “I been trying to see him all week but he’s never home. I think our schedules never agree with each other.”
While Chris tried to figure out what to say to Pinkie to lift her spirits, Elise was pondering in silence. It wasn’t a problem of schedule like Pinkie said, Dan was actively avoiding her, for what reasons she didn’t know but it made her mad at Dan.
Pinkie was one of the friendliest and nicest people she ever met, and for some strange, only-god-knows-what reason, she had an interest on him, dare say even a crush. And Dan was avoiding her like the plague!
Elise didn’t have the heart to tell her friend about it. If only Dan could open up and give her a chance he would see how good she was for him. But how could he do that if he refused to see her?
Suddenly like a flash of light, she got an idea and quickly turned to her husband.
“Chris? In a few days is date night, right?” When Chris confirmed by just nodding, his mouth full at the moment, Elise continued. “How about we invite Pinkie and Dan and have a double date?” In an instant Elise found her hands been held by Pinkie who had stars of excitement on her eyes.
“Would you really do that for me?” Hopefulness was very clear in his voice. She had been trying all week to see Dan again and now Elise proposed to have a double date? To say she was excited was an understatement.
“Of course, what are friends for?” Elise was soon at the receiving end of Pinkie’s hug. “Thankyouthankyouthankyou!” Pinkie hopped in place like a kid who has been told Christmas came early this year.
“I just hope you like Shakespearean Theater.” Elise smiled compelled by her friend’s excitment.
“Hey, wait a minute! Elise, how did you know I was going to take you to the old Shakespearean Dinner Theater?” Chris wondered disappointed that the surprise was ruined.
“You left the tickets on the side table on our room” Not wanting to bring his mood down, Elise gave him a small kiss on the cheek.
“ Thanks. But you do now that Dan will refuse to go on a date, don’t you?” whispered Chris so Pinkie wouldn’t hear him. “I know. Look, invite him and tell him to dress nice. Just don’t tell him it’s a date” She whispered back.
“Alright, but I’m not so sure about this” Chris said uncertain. He didn’t want to think how would Dan react when he learned the truth.
“Don’t worry everything is going to be fine!”
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Elise was peeved. And she only had Dan to thank for the headache.
Not much after Pinkie left. She had to chase Dan around to prevent him from spreading her newly-developed chemical into the city in his futile attempt to get rid of traffic. She didn’t know how it started and frankly she didn’t care; but despite all the troubles he caused, she forgave him. All for Pinkie’s sake.
Now a few days later date night came and they were all at her house waiting for Pinkie to arrive.
“What are we waiting for? Let’s go to that stupid dinner now! I’m starving!” Well Chris and Elise were waiting for Pinkie. Dan still had no idea they had set him up to a date with her.
“Don’t worry Dan, The show doesn’t start until 8, we still have plenty of time!” Dan just grumbled under his breath and sat down on the couch with his arms cross.
Elise let out a sigh of frustration. She didn’t know how much longer she could put up with Dan’s behavior. Sometimes she wondered how Chris did it, but then again Chris was kind of a pushover.
Thankfully they didn’t have to wait much longer, because a ring and a loud horn was heard from outside the house. That she didn’t expect was Dan’s reaction.
“Oh no! Oh no! She’s here! Quick, turn off all the lights and pretend we aren’t home!” Dan quickly jumped behind the couch to hide himself. He didn’t want to be found by THAT girl.
“I think it’s a little late for that” deadpanned Elise and surprisingly enough Dan acknowledged her “You’re right! Just pretend I’m not here.” He then left the cover from the couch and ran towards the closet. “Call me out after you get rid of her!” Elise rolled her eyes and went directly to open the door for Pinkie.
“Good evening Pinkie!” she barely said before receiving another crushing Pinkie Hug. “Hello Eli! Is Dan here already?” Pinkie said very excited, she was almost shaking.
“Yes he is, he’s in the closet…uh…for some reason!” Elise finished lamely, not knowing an excuse for Dan’s reason for been inside the closet. If Pinkie thought what Elise just said was strange she didn’t notice or completely ignored it. “Oh, ok! I’ll go get him!”
Pinkie walked to towards the closet with a noticeable skip in her step and greeted Dan with a big smile. “Hello Dan! Are you ready for our date?”
Cursing to himself, he walked out the door angry for been found. “What do you mean date? Were not having a date!” he pointed out rudely to her. “Who told you it was a date!”
Before he could continue his angry rant, Elise intervened to try to salvage the situation by putting her hand over Dan’s mouth grabbed his arm in a hold. “What he meant is that he isn’t seeing this as a romantic date but as an outing with friends, right Dan?” The last part she said it in a very calm but menacing voice that promised pain if he didn’t behave.
“That’s okay! I felt that calling it dating feels a little fast. It’s fine if we just go as friends!” She didn’t have a problem with it and besides being friends was what mattered. If something were to come later, that was great too.
“Great! Now let’s go!” announced Elise, relieved that the situation didn’t escalate out of hand so fast. Chris, who had been silent the whole time, walked next to Elise. “Well that went better than I expected!” Elise took her husband’s hand and nodded in agreement “Let’s hope it keeps going uphill from now on!”
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Thankfully the drive to the theater didn’t present any problems. Dan behaved himself for the most part while Pinkie tried to have small talk with him, which wasn’t difficult for her since she did most of the talking despite Dan answering in only monosyllables and short answers.
After they arrived at the dinner theater they all got their seats and place their orders. The date was going smoothly although a bit lacking in conversation from Dan to Pinkie, and Elise thought that she could finally relax and that nothing bad would happen. How wrong she was.
In the middle of the play, which was Romeo and Juliet, began complaining about everything: the lights, the scenery, the scene transitions, but mostly the actors’ acting ability to emote and say their lines correctly. He complained so much that every other patron in the theater couldn’t stand him anymore.
“Excuse me, you are disturbing the other patrons!” a waiter finally confronted him. But when Dan turned around to tell him off, He accidently pushed the waiter and made him spill hot soup into his lap.
“ Ahh! You scolded me, you jack…!”
“Dan! Let me help you!” Pinkie quickly grabbed all the napkins in their table and tried to dry his pants. But Dan quickly refused. “Do not touch me!” he yelled loud enough that the actors on stage stopped and confronted him too.
“Who’s the one who keep interrupting us?!”
Suddenly too employees appeared to take Dan out of the theater. “Alright sir, it is time for you to make haste” One employee said while him and his fellow employee took him by the arms and dragged him out. “You don’t tell me what to make! Unhand me, you beasts!”
“I knew I shouldn’t have trusted Dan to behave. I’m sorry Pinkie” Elise apologized embarrassed for Dan’s behavior. “Don’t worry Eli it wasn’t your fault,” she assured her friend and then stood up. “I better go out too and keep Dan some company!”
“You don’t have to do that Pinkie!” Elise tried to stop her, but Pinkie shook her head from side to side. “I have to, he’s my date after all!” she reassured her with a big smile, “You stay here and enjoy the rest of the play” And with that she too left the theater.
Outside, Pinkie found Dan walking away from a police officer complaining about injustice and how he was a hobo.
“Dan...Are you alright?” The second the question left her mouth she regretted it. She remembered how he hated when people asked questions with obvious answers. And she was right because her question was the trigger for a mini-rant.
“Alright? Alright?! How could you think I’ll be alright?! The food was horrible, I was thrown out of this cheap theater for having taste and an opinion by minimum waged employees, and I just received a ticket for loitering like I was a hobo. How could I possibly be alright?!”
He then ended his loud rant by crossing his arms and grumble. “How could they do that to the Bard?”
“Wow! I didn’t know you were a fan of classical theater” Pinkie tried to cheer him a little by making him talk about something he liked. “Though I still think it wasn’t that bad.”
“Shows what you know! I was there the whole time and I saw how you didn’t even understand half of the things the ‘actors’ said” Air quotes around actors. “Besides, you don’t know how angry I feel about how bad this play was”
“You’re right, I didn’t understand most of the play, but I know how it feels when something isn’t as good as I wanted it to be” Her sudden confession caught Dan off guard but gained her a small bit of curiosity. “I mean! Did you see what they did with the sequel to Sharknado? It was so bad! And not in the It’s-so-bad-it’s-good kind of way!”
“Wait! Did you say Sharknado?! The movie about the tornado that picks up sharks from the ocean and have them flying around eating people? That Sharknado?!” Dan asked with full on curiosity, letting his B-movie-lover side of him show.
“Of course! I love a good dumb gory movie once in awhile! Have you seen ‘Cupcake Killer’? It’s one of my favorites! Especially the Director’s Cut with 30 extra minutes, that the theaters refused to show,” she said, showing her love for movies too. Dan was impressed, that was a very rare copy with very limited quantities.
“You have the special edition?! You need to lend me that one!” He asked very excited. He needed to see that movie; his horror movie fan pride demanded it.
“If you want we can go back to my house and watch it together! The night’s still young and horror movies are better watched on nights like this” Pinkie said trying to make her voice sound as spooky as she could, which wasn’t very scary at all.
“Lead the way my fellow horror movie fan!” he pointed out to the sky and dragged her by the hand, despite him saying she would lead the way. She didn’t mind at all because she was enjoying the feeling of their hands holding each other.
Twenty minutes later, Romeo and Juliet ended and Chris and Elise finally went outside.
“Hey! They aren’t here!” exclaimed Chris in surprise. “Where do you think they went, Elise?”
“I got no idea.”