Like a stallion terrified of having children, they pulled me out of retirement. I was the best Special Agent they had, which was saying a lot, because I'm about as effective at my job as a mime having a stroke, and only half as hilarious.
Crushric, n. — A narcissistic masochist, a Southern gentleman, and snarky smartass. If you're looking for someone to disappoint you, he won't disappoint you.