• Published 16th Sep 2012
  • 11,871 Views, 826 Comments

The Evolution of Stan - Flutters Glasses



A take on the HiE concept minus the H and with an added bit of lemon zest. Enjoy!

  • ...
59
 826
 11,871

Chapter One: Arrival

Murphy’s Law: Anything that can go wrong WILL go wrong.

In my opinion, I just recently disproved this rather famous theory. To clarify: everything that could go wrong went wrong; it’s just that things that were previously considered impossible, and thus couldn’t go wrong, went wrong as well.

Namely:

1. Prior to being sucked down my toilet, I was a human, now I am a small horse.
2. I was sucked down my toilet.
3. Making contact with another of this apparently “advanced” species of horse, I learned that we are capable of speech and sentient thought.

But enough about this so called “law” I bet you all are wondering what happened after I made first contact and...Admittedly fainted in a rather pathetic fashion.


-Some time ago-

I woke up from a rather disturbing nightmare; involving being crushed under a yellow monster, with a feeling of warmth next to me. I wasn’t keen on opening my eyes at the time so I tried to feel what this source could be, that was until I remembered the situation I was in and realized that I didn’t have hands.

Letting out a quiet groan, I tried to gather my thoughts.

‘Let’s see, I’m a horse. Check. A horse capable of speech.’

I quietly whispered a couple of choice curse words.

‘Check.’

I continued on through my mental checklist until I heard a small sigh from right next to me. I tensed up as my eyes shot open, revealing an unfamiliar wooden ceiling. I slowly turned my head and noticed a calmly sleeping winged horse lying right next to me.

For the sake of not having to constantly say “winged horsey” and sounding like a complete moron, I shall refer to her as “Butter Butt” referring to her butter-colored coat and trinity of butterflies on her...Flank, if I recall horse anatomy correctly.

Moving on.

I proceeded to calmly tap her on the side to wake her up and question why she was lying next to me.

By calmly tapping her side I mean I screamed my head off, causing her to jolt awake.

I then, being the complete genius that I am, jumped up and off the bed, of which I didn’t realize I was laying on, and landed right on my head, once again sending me into an unconscious state.

It’s times like these that REALLY make me hate my life.


For the THIRD time that day I woke up after another bout of being knocked out; although this time to outside stimuli, a gentle poking on my side and a quiet voice yelling:

“Sir! Sir! Are you alright?”

I’m sure you noticed the oxymoron I just used, “a quiet voice yelling.”

Clarification: The quiet voice WAS yelling, however, due to the voice being quiet in nature, the yelling sounded much more like a regular person’s “conversational voice”

Anyways, my eyes flew open and I quickly jumped to my hooves, soon locating the possible hostile in the vicinity; I gave the mare a harsh glare.

Given the circumstances of me being conscious, lacking the possibility of falling unconscious again, I finally had a chance to get a good look at her:

She, as I’ve noticed before, had a pastel/butter yellow colored coat with a cascading bubblegum pink hair-do (mane-do?) Her tail was of the same coloring with a similarly cascading style and appeared to be much longer than my own, actually managing to touch the floor.

After gazing at her tail for a moment, I then got a much better look at Butter Butt’s err… “butter butt.” As prior mentioned, there was a trio of butterflies with cyan bodies and pink wings on each flank.

My eyes then went to her face and I realized something unusual. Her body, while clearly equine, was far different than that of a real horse and her face seemed far more…Expressive and cartoony as well. I stared right into her large teal eyes, but not without noticing a slight blush on her face.

Don’t ask me how an animal can blush through its coat, it just did, considering my situation it wasn’t the strangest thing to happen that day.

She opened her mouth to speak:

“Umm...W-why are you staring at me?”

By that point I realized that considering the sentient thought of the horse, their society likely has similar cultural norms and taboos. And I was just staring at her “butt” just moments earlier.

My confident bravado quickly vanished as my pupils shrank and I quickly uttered a sea of apologies.

“I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!”

At this she seemed stunned for a moment before giving me a soft smile.

“It’s alright, but if you don’t me asking, what is your name.”

I quickly gathered myself and responded.

“My name is Stan, pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

I then held out my hoof for a hand-shake, but soon mentally face-palmed as I realized this gesture would likely be unknown to the girl. To my surprise she gripped my hoof, and shook it daintily. Again, not going to even try to explain the impossibility.

“That’s a strange name…”

Realizing her rude comment, she quickly shot a hoof to her mouth and almost suddenly appeared to remember she was shy, as she hung her head and took a step back from me.

Now usually such a comment would offend me and I would offer an appropriately rude response, however something about this girl was just so…disarming. After seeing her response after she realized what she said, my heart melted and I felt compelled to comfort her.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, Stan IS a strange name, and I get that a lot.”

For the record, it really isn’t and I really don’t.

She finally managed to look up at my smiling face through her bangs and murmured something inaudible.

“…m…fl…y”

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

The volume, although just barely audible, still was enough for me to hear her clearly the second time around.

“I’m Fluttershy…”

Drat, well no more referring to her as Butter Butt.

“And I’m really sorry for calling your name strange...”

I merely smiled at her,

“Don’t worry about it, but if I may ask, why were you sleeping next to me?”

She froze as a deep blush spread across her face; she managed to stutter out a response.

“Y-you were sh-shaking in y-your s-sleep and I th-thought you were c-cold so I t-tried to warm y-you up by…”
She trailed off.

Seems legit, I was having a nightmare after all. That explained the sleeping situation, and judging by her blush I can safely assume that it’s a personal act to sleep with another here as well, cementing my theory on their societal norms.

Then I finally remembered that I was in an unfamiliar place with an unfamiliar…horse. How did I get here, am I some genetically altered super horse? Now was the time to get answers.

“Well thank you for caring about my well-being Fluttershy, but how did I get here and better yet, where am I?”

I stopped myself from asking about my current species, knowing that she would likely think of me as an insane person…err..horse.

“Well after I found you in the meadow behind my cottage…Umm…having a mental breakdown and…fainting, I carried you to my home so you could get some rest.”

I was impressed by her ability to carry me, but that didn’t manage to dash away any of the embarrassment I felt considering she had to do so.

Darn it, I’m off topic again.

Anyways, I took a good look around the room noticing her bed and the window next to it, looking out I noticed we were on the second story of her house. I also noticed that the meadow I was in before was just visible about a quarter mile from the window, how I failed to notice the house before is beyond me.

“Am I near a town of any sort?”

“Oh yes, I only live about a mile away from Ponyville so my animal friends don’t distract the other ponies going about their business.”

PONIES! I knew it was only a matter of time before I learned what I was, however that doesn’t answer the question of her having wings…Ehh, that’s future Stan’s problem.

Wait..animals?

Glancing around the room again, I saw a few choice pieces of architecture that I failed to notice before: Bird houses hanging from the ceiling, mouse holes in the walls and a doggy door on the…door. I noticed some birds in the houses staring at me with curiosity.

“That’s very…nice of you to take care of these animals, but do you know anyone that can help me get my bearings, I’m kind of lost…”

Thinking I was beyond help sure didn’t stop me from asking, I considered pulling the “I don’t remember anything” card, but considering how much money I’ve lost playing poker, I decided it wasn’t playing to my strengths.

“Sure! I have a friend up at the library that can help you out, she’s a unicorn and really smart, but it’s getting kind of late, maybe you should see her tomorrow.”

Normally I would’ve noticed her sudden exuberance and questioned her about it, however one word caught my attention: “Unicorn.”

Where in the hell was I? A land filled with mythological talking ponies?

I tried and only just managed to remain calm. Despite my lengthy amount of time I spent unconscious that day, I REALLY needed to take a nap and collect my thoughts.

“I h-hope you don’t mind me asking, but can I sleep here for the night, I’m really tired and have nowhere else to go…”

I just barely kept nervous stutter in check, but I’m fairly sure my facial expression was far from calm and collected.

“Oh sure, the guest room is just down the hall.”

I nodded and turned, but noticed something strange about the whole situation.

“If the guest room is down the hall, was I sleeping in your room, in your bed?”

A nervous look flashed quickly across her face so quickly that it was almost imperceptible by me.

“The uhh…guest room was dirty so I uhh…cleaned it before getting...into…bed…with…you…”

I would’ve inquired further, but frankly I was no longer in the mood, so I shrugged (or tried to) and trotted towards the door. Finding out how to open it without hands was…different to say the least, I managed to do so, but not without completely slobbering all over the knob. Hopefully I didn’t look too strange to Fluttershy.

After another embarrassingly slobbery door opening, this time with the guest room door. I walked into my temporary place of rest. I took a look around and noticed a mirror on top of a dresser; I decided maybe it would be in my interest to actually know what I look like.

I looked into the mirror and took my new appearance in.

Staring back at me was a gunmetal grey stallion with electric blue eyes, my trademark unkempt brown hair, plus a slightly spiky brown tail. I noticed that I too had a butt tattoo, although mine appeared to be a silhouette of a man walking, likely myself. I decided to ask Fluttershy what exactly these were tomorrow, hopefully in a non-suspicious manner.

Finished with my self-inspection, I climbed into bed, not even bothering with the covers considering my lack of hands.

I fell into a deep sleep.

Author's Note:

Feedback is appreciated!
(Being entirely overhauled with my {hopefully improved} newer writing style.)