//------------------------------// // Chapter Seven: Hands! // Story: The Evolution of Stan // by Flutters Glasses //------------------------------// I’ll be honest here, the heavy breathing on the left side of my head was more than a little terrifying; these ponies may be adorable but d*** are they scary when they want to be.  The aura that was still around my body illuminated the area just enough for me to see a sea foam tail with a white stripe running down its length swishing back and forth, in and out of my field of vision. “Alrighty...Why exactly have you been waiting for me, and better yet, how do you know my name?” The tail stopped swishing and suddenly disappeared from view.  Next thing I knew there was a teal pony mare resting its forelegs on my shoulders staring crazily into my eyes with a large smile on its muzzle, her mane was frazzled and there were bags underneath her strikingly golden eyes. “I’ve been waiting for you Stan...” ‘...Didn’t she just say that?’ “Okay...Why?” She merely continued to stare into my eyes, though hers seemed to be moving ever so slightly left and right, as if she were scanning my face. “Stan...Man...Hands...WANT!” She screamed out the last part, surprising both me and apparently herself as she jumped back a couple of feet, her forelegs leaving my shoulders. Suddenly her pupils shrunk and she began to speak in a very different tone of voice. “No...I don’t want to hurt Stan.” Her pupils grew again as she suddenly flipped around to respond to her own statement. “But hands...need hands...YES!” The creepy grin again spread across her face as her head turned at a snail’s pace to face me.  A distant glow appeared in the darkness through one of the doorways in the house and slowly began to float its way towards me, as it came closer I noticed that it appeared to be snake-like as it seemed to slither in mid-air.  Of course this was disproven as a rather long rope began to hover in front of my face and wrap around my legs and arms, further binding me to the chair.  The knots were shoddy at best, but still managed to keep me secure as I squirmed around. Another glow appeared through the doorway and shot towards me at a much faster pace; now what I saw would’ve made me s*** my pants if I were wearing any.  A large butcher knife was hovering and twirling right in front of my face. ‘Why in the hell do these ponies have butcher knives?  I thought they were herbivores!’ The mint green pony slowly began to take steps towards me as the knife hovered next to my left wrist, the smile never left her face. “W-what are you doing?” She narrowed her eyes. “Hands...Want hands...” She rested the hooves of forelegs on my thighs as she stared into my eyes again.  Her head turned suddenly to the side to look at the knife now descending towards my wrist.  I could do nothing but watch and squirm as the knife was within centimeters of my hand. The knife’s advance stopped for a moment. Suddenly the golden aura disappeared and the knife clattered to the floor, I looked back over at the pony and saw that my speckled right arm was now pinching a small point on her neck. ‘Okay, what just happened...that arm was bound a second ago...I didn’t do that.’ Her eyes rolled back into her head as she suddenly went limp and dropped, her head landing heavily right on my... “JESUS CHRIST!!!” “So ya see Fluttershy, ahm’ really sorry for how ah- no we acted last night.  We didn’t letcha speak yer piece on what to do with Stan...” Fluttershy was glad that her friend had seen the error of her ways, but she was still missing one key piece in this apology. “It’s not me you should be saying sorry to, it’s Stan that deserves an apology- I mean if that’s alright with you...” A scowl quickly appeared on Applejack’s features. “Ah ain’t apologizing to that no-good stallion, no way no how.” Fluttershy opened her mouth to chastise her friend, but was cut off by a loud yell. “JESUS CHRIST!!!” ‘That sounded like Stan!’ Fluttershy quickly turned from her friend and ran in the direction of the yell, she came upon a house with the door opened just barely agape.  She quickly flung it open and jumped inside. What she saw surprised her, angered her and admittedly...turned her on. Stan was bound in a chair with one arm free; his free hand was resting on the back of a mint green pony’s head whose muzzle was buried in his crotch.  Stan’s head was lolled back in the chair; his eyes were glazed over and his tongue was hanging out of his mouth. “Oh...My...” Pain...Never before had I felt such an immeasurable amount of pain in my life, I had been racked before, but no kick in the balls had ever been so...Painful.  I mean seriously, this pony’s head was like a sack of bricks. When I finally made it past the intense ache in my crotch and gained awareness of my surroundings, what I saw almost made me wish that the pain had sent me into unconsciousness. Light was shining through the doorway to the house casting a shadow over the pony standing there in front of the portal.  She was slightly hunched over in a pouncing position, her wings spread out menacingly and a snarl present on her face.  The yellow rays of sunlight seemed to make her glow with a golden hue, every feather and feature outlined in the amber light.  Her teal eyes were narrowed and her teeth seemed strikingly white.  It was shocking, it was terrifying, and it was, dare I say...Sexy. Now I’m not into bestiality, but I couldn’t help but feel a little pride in myself at the moment with the thought:  ‘Yeah, I tapped that.’ Her lips barely moved as she spoke in a dangerous tone with her teeth still bared. “Stan, what is going on here?” I looked down at my aching crotch realized the implications of my current situation, the sea foam unicorn and I were in a VERY suggestive set of positions. “Th-This isn’t what it looks like.” My tone was an octave higher than usual for several reasons dealing with fear, frustration and... “Dear god this hurts!  Fluttershy, could you just please untie me?!?” She suddenly stood back up and gazed at me in confusion before realization struck.  Her face suddenly was filled with concern as she ran towards me. “Oh dear!  Oh dear!  Oh dear!” She quickly began to attempt to untie the ropes using her teeth.  The unicorn’s head was still in my lap, but I just didn’t have the heart to just toss it off with my free hand.  She may have tried to cut my hand off, but I wasn’t so evil at to risk giving her a concussion by dropping her head on the hard floor. ‘D*** you conscience...’ After a few moments of Fluttershy struggling with the ropes on my left arm, I was finally freed to remove the pony’s head from my lap and untie my legs; hands make things a helluva lot easier. Now there was the the question of whether or not I should tie up this apparent serial killer and report her to the authorities, assuming there are authorities in this town. “S-Stan, w-what happened?” I let out a long sigh. “I’m not entirely sure Fluttershy, one minute I was walking to the boutique, the next I was whisked inside by this psychopath’s magic and tied to a chair.” Fluttershy seemed taken aback for a moment and turned towards the unconscious unicorn in the dimly lit room. “*Gasp* That’s Lyra!  She would never do anything like that!” ‘Bulls*** she wouldn’t, that psycho nearly cut my hand off!’ Of course I didn’t actually SAY that, but I thought it in my head REALLY hard. “Well she did.  Do you guys have any sort of police force I could contact?” Fluttershy gave me a look of befuddlement. “You know, authorities?” Her look didn’t change. “Okaaaay...” ‘Is this place really so innocent as to not have any cops?’ “Alright, do you have a number to a psycho ward that I could give a call?” She tilted her head at me. “Call?” ‘Right, no phones...’ “You know what?  Screw it, let’s leave the deranged psychopath laying here so she can zero in on her next victim.” “A-alright...” Fluttershy turned to the doorway and briskly trotted outside. My palm swiftly met my face at her complete obliviousness to my sarcasm, but I followed her nonetheless; let that psycho be someone elses problem. “-and when I walked in, Stan was tied to the chair!” A couch suddenly appeared behind Rarity as she fell backwards, all the while her horn continued to glow, levitating the measuring tape she was currently using to figure my dimensions.  I’ll admit it, I was still impressed despite its clear theatricality. “Why that is absolutely DREADFUL!  Are you alright Stan?” “Yeah yeah, I’m fine, can we just get this done please?” I was growing tired of shifting my towel around to make way for the stupid measuring tape to measure my more private areas, my makeshift skirt had nearly fallen off more than a few times; did that area really matter that much? She waved her hoof dismissively. “I’m almost finished finding your dimensions; I’m dreadfully sorry but you ARE a new species to Equestria after all.” I sighed but didn’t say anything more as she darted around jotting down my various measurements using the pen and notepad floating next to her head. “And...Done!” She had an accomplished look on her face as she smiled in my direction. The measuring tape quickly darted away from me and I was finally allowed to stretch and work out the kink in my back that appeared not long after she forced me to stand straight up. *Crack* ‘Ahhh yeah...’ My moment of bliss was cut short by a sharp intake of breath to my side followed by a *pomf*. ‘Oh God D*** it.’ I quickly shot my hands to the floor and gathered up my towel, clumsily wrapping it around my torso. “When are those clothes going to be done again?” I looked over towards Rarity and saw that she a had a mischievous smirk on her face accompanying her blush. “A week or so.” ‘A week!?!’ “You’re kidding right?” She merely shrugged at me. “I’m afraid not.  You’re an entirely new species Stan, not to mention I have many other orders I need to take care of first.” Unfortunately she had a point. “Alright...Come on Fluttershy, we best be heading back to your place; I don’t recall you feeding the animals this morning after my little ‘episode.’” Fluttershy was still frozen in place after that little incident, but after a moment managed to slowly nod and follow me out the door.  The fact that her wings had yet to return to their resting position was making me feel a little uneasy. The trip back to her place was awkward and quiet as the sun had began to set in the sky. ‘Rarity definitely took her sweet time measuring me; those clothes had better be freaking amazing.’ Upon arriving she quickly set about feeding the plethora of animals around the house and despite my help it still took around an hour.  By the time we were finished, the sun had completely set in the sky and we went in to eat a simple dinner consisting of hay and salad, one of which I refused to eat, you can probably figure out which one of the two it was.  D*** did I miss meat... The dinner was almost completely silent other than some idle chit-chat here and there while Fluttershy awkwardly played with her food.  Soon we cleaned up the table before heading upstairs to go to bed.  I walked her up to her door, opened it and gestured for her to go inside, after which I slowly began to pull the door shut. “Umm St-Stan?” ‘*Sigh* I knew this was coming...’ “What is it Fluttershy?” She began to nervously paw at the floor. “A-aren’t you going to c-come in and s-sleep with me?” ‘This girl has to have Multiple Personalities Disorder, one moment she takes advantage of me being drunk, the next she’s...Adorably shy.’ “I’d rather not if it’s all the same to you-” Suddenly her hoof hit the floor rather hard, causing a resounding thump to fill the room. “Stanny Bear...” Her voice was deceptively pleading; I could clearly hear the ice behind her words. ‘Great, I unwillingly entered into a relationship while I was drunk and now I’m not even the Alpha male.’ “*Sigh* Fine Fluttershy, whatever you say...” She lifted her head up and gave me a beaming smile before quickly hopping into bed.  Closing the door behind me, I grudgingly entered the room and got into bed with her.  The bed was still quite small, offering little room for the both of us and causing my legs to still hang off the end.  Of course this didn’t seem to bother her as she wrapped her forelegs around me and pressed her head to my chest. She suddenly pulled back for a moment, looking into my eyes and giving me a small peck on the nose. “Goodnight Stan.” ‘If only she were human...’ “Goodnight Flutters...” It wasn’t long before I heard a light snore in front of me; I was quick to follow.