‘Okay, It’s dark, the place smells of chocolate and I can’t move my body...Hmm I wonder where I am.’
“Discord buddy, you can come out now!”
An explosion of color appeared stark against the blackness of my vision, after it cleared señor goaty boy in all his mismatched glory was floating there.
“My my, am I really that obvious?”
He had a playful smirk on his face.
I rolled my eyes and made a feeble attempt at crossing my arms across my chest; I was immobilized after all.
“Considering the fact that this is the fifth time you’ve come to me in my dreams and it’s always the same business with me being frozen in place surrounded by apparent chocolatey darkness, then yes.”
“Well sorry for wanting to check on my favorite little ‘sexy beast’ to make sure things are going alright; I don’t want you to spill our little secret now do I.”
“You know perfectly well that I can’t do that.”
A sad but true statement, every time I even attempt to say Discord out in the real world, an unexplainable occurrence always seems to stop me. Whether it’s a bug flying down my throat, me suddenly ‘slipping’ and falling, or me getting the sudden urge to sing ‘Camptown Races’ at the top of my lungs.
“You’ve ruined that song for me by the way.”
He made a sarcastic ‘boohoo’ face.
“Oh I am so sorry, it is such a delightful song. Maybe if you sang it a few more times...”
“Just no.” He smirked at my words. “So what do you want from me this time around? I swear if you make me look at one more picture of griffon erotica...”
“Perhaps you’d like something else then, or maybe somepony else?”
“You forget that I’m not exactly into bestiality.”
“Assuming you’re speaking of cross-species relationships, then you could have fooled me. Seeing what you did with innocent little Fluttershy just a bit ago? Shameful!”
“What I did with Fluttershy?”
That’s one thing about dreams, it’s nigh impossible to keep your thoughts in order.
“Why yes, what you did with Fluttershy. Do you not remember? Because I can show you...”
Discord and the darkness around me disappeared suddenly, only to be replaced with Fluttershy’s kitchen. I was lying on the floor looking up at the ceiling, still unable to move my limbs.
Beyond my control, I placed a hand against my head, using the other to grab the table next to me to pull myself up and onto the chair in front of me. I rested my head in my hands on the table for a moment before looking up at the pegasus across from me.
“My dearest Fluttershy, why was I just on the floor?”
‘What’s with the English accent?’
Fluttershy’s eyes brightened for a moment before taking on a predatory glare as she smiled at me. Her body suddenly tensed before she leaped out of the chair and pounced at me with her lips puckered and forehooves held out wide.
‘OKAY! STOP! STOP!’
She froze in the air with her eyes closed and her wings sticking comically outwards.
“Why, do you not like it?”
Discord’s voice rang about the room.
Fluttershy’s head suddenly retreated into her body like a turtle before Discord’s quickly popped out to take its place.
“Because you could have fooled me.”
The head’s mouth moved in sync with his words.
I was still incapable of moving anything other than my eyes and mouth, but could see that my arms were held out wide in a similar manner to her’s, ready to receive the pouncing pegasus.
"Perhaps you'd like a different example before we continue?"
Another snap resounded and the room disappeared around me. I was still in a chair, though my head was lolled back and I seemed to be bound up and surrounded by murky semi-darkness. A sudden pain ignited in my crotch, reminding me of exactly what this memory was.
'Oh... Yeah.'
Light streamed into the room as a door flew open suddenly. A gasp was heard and my head lifted itself up to look at the yellow pegasus framed in the light glowing about her form.
Suddenly a voice was heard, seemingly coming from every corner and crevice inside of the room; my voice.
"The yellow rays of sunlight seemed to make her glow with a golden hue, every feather and feature outlined in the amber light. Her teal eyes were narrowed and her bared teeth strikingly white, stark against her shadowed face. It was shocking, it was terrifying, and it was, dare I say...Sexy." My voice paused for a moment. "Yeah, I tapped that."
The room and bindings disappeared as my dreamscape reverted back to Fluttershy’s kitchen, the sick goat-headed pegasus still floating there, frozen in place.
"My my Stan, that was quite poetic."
His eyes glowed as he grinned victoriously.
"What, so now you can read my thoughts?"
Fluttershy’s hoof swung awkwardly in a dismissive motion before freezing back into place.
"Yes, but it's quite exhausting really. That time I just couldn't resist." His head retreated back into the pegasus’ body and Flutttershy’s returned to fill its place.
“But enough about that, let’s continue.”
His words came out of Fluttershy’s mouth in her soft voice.
The world was set in motion again as the pegasus flew towards me in painfully slow motion; he was obviously trying to milk this for all it was worth.
‘STOP! STOP! STOP!’
There was no reply.
‘Discord, you’ve proven your point, stop this-’
The pegasus was just an inch away from me before time returned to its normal pace. I fell to the floor with Fluttershy on top of me. Her eyes were closed, her lips locked with mine and I swear to god that I felt a tongue enter my mouth.
Of course I couldn’t confirm or deny this before she disappeared in a puff of yellow smoke, the kitchen soon following after. Discord appeared again in a sudden flash, though strangely he had several cracks running the length of his form with a bright light leaking out.
“Well this is no fun, it seems that you’re waking up Stan. No matter, this little ‘memory’ of yours will pick up where you left off the next time you fall asleep.”
“I’ll look forward to it...”
I muttered out, though he seemed to ignore me completely.
“In the meantime, there is somepony else I need to have a visit with...”
One more snap was heard before he disappeared and the darkness around me imploded with light.
‘Ugh, my back. Actually, ugh my everything.’
I didn’t know exactly where I was, but judging from the lack of comfort it certainly wasn’t on a mattress. My head was resting on its side when I opened my eyes, sending a shooting pain through my skull from the sudden light. I appeared to be resting on a red and white quilt, a plain dotted with the occasional tree filling my vision. The sun was well on it’s way into the sky, setting the time at around 10-ish.
‘So, Ponyville park. How exactly did I get here?’
An all too familiar warm weight against my chest answered that question as I turned my head to look at the resting intruder. Fluttershy slept soundly on my form, her head moving slightly with the rise and fall of my chest.
The sight of the sleeping pegasus ignited a fire within me. Not a happy flame, not a passionate flame, but an angry flame that radiated outwards from the very core of my being. SHE had drugged me, SHE had taken advantage of me, SHE treated me no better than a 50 year old rapist treats a hooker in a nightclub.
Now, I have multiple ways of venting my frustrations; most of them involve yelling a colorful string of words into and/or at fluffy pieces of furniture I.e. pillows. But surprisingly, there wasn’t a pillow in clear sight; the closest thing being a fluffy yellow pegasus. Unfortunately for her, my mind was too tired and drugged out to really discern a sizable difference.
‘You know what? Why the hell not?’
She was quite honestly the source of all this frustration, so it should be no surprise that I came down on her with a vengeance. Using my arms, I propped myself up abruptly, knocking the sleeping pony off my form and onto the blanket below. I stood up and brushed myself off before bringing my angry gaze onto the pegasus.
"Fluttershy! What in the-"
To my surprise and displeasure, she had managed to stay soundly asleep, even after I stood up. An idea suddenly entered into my head on how one may irritate a dog to no end, by blowing into their ear. I mean she’s a pony and all, but they can’t really be all that different can they? Their physiology of the ear is relatively the same.
I crouched down into saigon squat position, took a deep breath and blew a stream just as hard as I could.
“Mmmm-OH my!”
*Pomf*
She exploded upwards with her wings standing at attention before landing in an awkward pile on on her back. She looked up at me in confusion, a large blush on her face.
‘Wings erect? Blush? What the- Who the- Why the-’
It suddenly dawned on me.
‘Crap. Ears, pleasure point, yeah...’
She looked up at me nervously.
“St-Stan?”
She asked.
‘What?’
"Are you kidding me right now? Who in the hell did you think it was? I’m the only god d*** human in this place."
She winced at my aggression and pulled her legs tightly against her body together, making herself as small as possible.
“W-well I-”
“What, did you expect some f***ity f*** pal to play house with? Did you want me to be the car, you being the garage?”
“Stan! It’s not-”
“Oh I know exactly what it is; you drugged me, had your way with me and expected me to just completely ignore it and fall head over heels for you!”
Her eyes were beginning well up with tears.
“St-Stan, it isn’t like tha-”
I interrupted.
“Bull f***ing s*** it isn’t. You’ve done nothing but slut around your happy little cottage, expecting me to gladly be your personal sex toy! And one time, whether you had any part in it or not, I actually was!”
“B-b-but Stan...”
“No. I’m done, I’ve put up with enough of your bull s***.”
She was full on crying at this point.
“*sniff* I-I’m sorr-”
I leaned in close to her.
“Look, I’m not the type of guy to fall for false sincerity. I know you’re not sorry, just give it up. ”
She opened her mouth to speak, but I cut her off.
“And guess what, I’m not into f***ing animals; take that however way you’d like.”
Her lower lip trembled as looked at me. She suddenly burst into heart wrenching sobs before turning around and sprinting away. Following her example, I turned around, only to find that a small crowd had gathered to watch our little one-sided spat.
“And just what the hell are you guys looking at?”
They dispersed at lightning speed, allowing me to walk onto the path and into Ponyville; if I was going to be a douche today, then I was going to milk it for all it’s worth.
‘Pants, here I come.’
*Dingaling*
"Welcome to the Carousel Boutique, where everything is sleek, sheik and magnifique- Oh Stan! Welcome! My, I am so under dressed."
I looked at the white unicorn in disbelief.
"You know that you ponies don't exactly wear clothing; like, you know, at all."
She smirked at me and took a few steps forward in my direction.
"I love it when you talk dirty...."
I raised an eyebrow in her direction.
“In what universe is that dirty? Oh wait, I guess in a universe FILLED WITH MAGICAL TALKING PONIES!”
She stood in front of me for a moment before rearing up onto her hind legs, propping herself up with her forehooves against my lower chest.
“I heard about your breakup with Fluttershy.” She wrapped her hooves around me in a hug.
‘How could she possibly- you know what, why am I even surprised? Wait...BREAKUP!?!’
She craned her neck to move her muzzle as close to my ear as possible, which in all honesty wasn’t that close.
“Although I don’t really agree with your methods” She whispered to me. “I completely understand why you did it.” She let her hoof wander against my chest. “You want a REAL mare.”
I promptly pulled away, allowing her hooves to fall back to the floor with a *clop*.
“What? No!”
She began to walk towards me with a smirk as I simultaneously backed away from her.
“Nonsense darling, you don’t have to deny it anymore.”
My back made contact with a wall.
‘Crap.’
Her smirk grew a bit more in victory as she reared up again. Luckily for me, I was ready for this advance. I caught her forehooves with my hands and pulled them above my head, her hind legs dangling above the floor and her face right in front of mine.
“Okay no, that is NOT what I came here for: I want my pants. Now.”
I narrowed my eyes at her for emphasis.
“Oooh commanding.” She wrapped her long tail around my waist. “I quite like a stallion with authority.”
I pulled her away from me to extricate her tail from my waist before slinging her under my arm. I don’t know if I’ve said this before, but these ponies are surprisingly light.
“Oh...OH!” She turned her head to look up at me. “Are you going to ravish me?”
“You and I are clearly not on the same page here; just tell me where my pants are at so I can get out of here.”
She paused for a moment as I awkwardly stood there with her under my arm.
“Upstairs, it’s the first door you come across.”
I set her down on the floor, causing her to turn and pout at me just as I was walking away.
“What? You’re not taking me with you?”
“I don’t see why I'd be carrying you, you’ve got two- sorry, four perfectly good legs right there.”
I began to make my way into the boutique and up the stairs, Rarity’s telltale clop of hooves following close behind. Soon I was before a door with a large, gem encrusted ‘R’ upon its front. Shrugging, I opened the door and walked into the dark room; only to have the door slam shut behind me as the curtains flew open, spilling light into the room.
'Aaaand I'm in Rarity's bedroom...Why am I even surprised?'
Rarity trotted past me with her horn aglow, I could assume based on the glowing that she had just slammed the door shut. Wrapping her tail around my waist again, she looked over her shoulder up at me.
"Why Stan! Why on Equestria would you have followed a mare into her bedroom?"
'How in the hell do they move their tails like that, they're horses for Petes sake, not dogs. Wait... physiology is always a mood killer.'
"So how do you ponies move your tails so skillfully?"
She withdrew her tail from my waist and turned to face me.
"You'll find that that's not the only thing we're skilled at-" She swished her tail behind her flank playfully. "-moving limberly about."
'Okay, that did not go as intended.'
"So uhh... Where are my pants?"
"Oh you'll get your pants, but you may have to wait a bit to try them on... For size."
She began to trot towards her bed.
"Let me repeat myself; where are my pants?
"Why downstairs in closet of my studio of course, I'm just here to collect payment."
"Yeah, not doing that."
I turned around and reached a hand towards the door knob.
"Oh dear, but I must insist."
The knob was suddenly coated in her signature sky blue aura, locking it in place despite my greatest attempts at turning it. Letting out an exasperated sigh, I took my hand away from the door and walked towards the white unicorn starting at me from her vantage point lying on the bed.
She smirked at me walking towards her.
"I just knew you'd come around darling." I now stood in front of her. "No stallion can resist Rari-AHHH!"
I shot my hand out, grabbing her horn right at the base. Frankly, I had no idea what was going to happen, I just hoped it would get that door to open for me.
I didn't expect the freaking thing to shock me, nor did I expect for her to screech and then pass out on the bed, but you can't always get whatcha want now can ya? On the bright side; at the cost of my rapidly numbing arm, her horn wasn't lit anymore leading me to believe that the door was no longer locked into place
Turning around, I made my way back to the entrance of her room. I look a quick look over my shoulder at the sleeping unicorn, shrugged and opened the door to exit the room. I walked down the steps into her studio with my now limp arm flapping about; noticing a purple door just to my right, I turned and opened it up.
'Well there's the pants.'
A pair of navy blue dress pants was currently being displayed on a mannequin of a man surrounded by several bolts of multicolored cloth and other sewing supplies. I could only assume that the man was me, but it seemed a tad bit off. A tad bit off meaning that it was completely missing its upper-body, it was just legs. You’d think of it as a regular kind of thing; just a pair of mannequin legs for displaying, but the saw marks at the waist told me a completely different story: The top half was forcibly removed.
The image of someone, or something sawing the mannequin in half sent a brief shiver down my spine. Shaking my head to clear the thought away, I reached my good arm towards the garment.
Wearing my new pants proudly on the exterior of my being, I walked through Ponyville proper; these things were freaking tricky to get on with one functioning arm. My walk continued along through the market as I made my way towards my next destination: Sweet Apple Acres.
Now I know what you’re thinking, ‘Stan are you F***ING insane! Applejack will play jump rope with your intestines!’ and you might be right, but I was banking on the idea of free-labor appealing to her... Nicer side? Assuming that side exists, towards me at least.
Unfortunately, after that little spat with Flutter-shag-me-all-day-shy, I needed a new place to live and she was the best candidate. I get the vibe from Twilight like she’s dissecting me with her eyeballs, and would love to get down to physically doing so, so she was out of the question. Pinkie Pie is insane, doubt I’d survive five minutes in that atmosphere without punching a filly; something frowned upon in their society. Rainbow Dash lived on a cloud for some retarded reason, so she was out too. Rarity...Well that should be self-explanatory.
Applejack offered the only...hostile, business-like atmosphere that I’d grown so fond of back home. Sarcasm of course, but at least it was familiar to me. Maybe I’d be able to even get some bits on the side, though the thought of her paying me was a bit of a long shot.
Before I knew it, I was surrounded by a forest apple trees, a few resounding thuds coming from somewhere in the distance in front of me. I continued along the path until I saw the orange nightmare herself, bucking her hind legs against an apple tree, causing the fruit to fall impossibly neat into several bushels around the base of the trunk.
There was a similar thud, if ever so slightly louder, that came from behind me. It was followed by a not so feminine gasp. By the time I turned my head to investigate, there was only a flash of red in the corner of my vision that disappeared as abruptly as it had shown up.
“Big Mac, what’re ya-”
A familiar voice with a southern drawl spoke.
I didn’t shift my head, hoping I’d still be able to find the source of the gasp I had heard earlier. The trotting of hooves signalled Applejack’s approach.
“And just what in tarnation are you doin’ here!?!”
She said none too happily.
I turned my head away from the trees and looked at the snarling mare, her posture making her appear seemingly ready to charge me.
I held up the hand on my good arm in a non-aggressive, ‘don’t gut me and roast me on a spit’ gesture. Needless to say, it came out looking more like, ‘Hi! How are you doing today?’
“Hear me out here, I just need to ask an important question.”
Her tense demeanor imperceptibly lightened, though the snarl didn't leave her face. She curtly nodded at me to continue.
"Well uhh... I need a new place to live and was hoping-"
"No way and now! I'll never let a lily-livered inconsiderate pile of-"
"I'll work on your orchard for free?"
Her anger vanished completely as she lifted her head back up into a far less threatening position. She showed genuine surprise on her face.
'Always hit 'em where it matters; their wallets.'
Her face contorted back to anger, if ever so slightly less so than before.
"And just why would ya want to do that? Did Fluttershy dump your sorry flank?"
'Why does everyone think Fluttershy and I are dating!?!'
"No! I mean, we were never dating!"
She smirked and rolled her eyes at me. I ran a hand through my hair in frustration.
"*Sigh* Look, I just want some new scenery ya know? And uhh...” I paused for a moment before a thought entered my head. “Plus I'm getting a little thick around the waist too, need a new working lifestyle."
I chuckled nervously
The second part was a complete lie, my (almost) vegan diet mixed with the multitude of odd jobs I've been performing for Flutters has left me, if not more fit, then at least more healthy than I was back home.
She slowly walked in my direction with her head tilted slightly to the side. She walked around me a couple of times before stopping in front and putting a hoof to her chin in thought.
"You are looking a might bit pudgier than you were when ya first got here." I rolled my eyes at her jab. "And we are a bit behind this harvestin’ season...”
“Alright sweet!” I started to walk towards the farm house. “I’ll just-”
She lifted a forehoof and held it out in front of my legs to stop me.
“Nuh-uh pard’ner, you’re sleepin in the barn.”
“Oh come on, why in the-”
“The house ain’t got no room for ya anyhow. That reminds me...”
She trotted off to the barn and stepped inside, after a moment she came galloping back with something in her mouth. I held my working arm out and a large burlap sack was deposited in my hand.
“These are your work duds, don’t wanna be ruinin’ those fancy pants of yours now do ya?”
I lifted the burlap up and dangled it in front of my face.
“And just how am I supposed to wear this?”
“Well how did ya wear that towel of yours?”
She asked.
“Around my waist but-”
“Well there you go! Just wear it ‘round your waist while ya work!”
She said all too happily.
I dropped the bag on the ground.
“Yeah, not doing that.” A flash of anger went across her face as I dropped the bag, but a smile, albeit a bit forced, filled back in. “Just what work are you planning on me doing anyhow?”
“Why applebucking of course!”
She walked over to a tree still full of delicious looking red apples and bucked it with her hind legs, again making them fall neatly into the bushels around the trunk.
“It’s easy, you just give the tree a good old fashion bu-” Her eyes opened wide in realization. “Oh yeah, ya ain’t a pony...”
‘Ya think?’
“Well, uhh...How good are you at massages?”
“Just no. I’ll just pick the apples thank you very much.”
The image in my head at the time wasn’t a great one.
I walked over to a tree and reached a hand out to grab an apple.
“Picking apples? That sounds mighty exhausting.” She paused for a moment as I picked the apple, deposited it into a bushel and reached for another. “Sounds like it’s right up your alley Stan!”
‘Of all the girls I’ve met in my days, you are by far the biggest bi-’
“If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got something to pick up from Twilight’s. You just keep on apple...Picking, we can set ya up in the barn when I’m back.”
I waved my good arm dismissively and reached for another apple.
“Alright good. Shouldn’t be more than a half-hour. Don’t burn the farm down, ya hear?”
‘Don’t tempt me...’
I soon heard her hooves clopping away as I reached towards a fourth apple.
“STAN!!!”
‘What was that noise?’
I turned my vision from recently cleared apple tree and gazed around a bit.
“STAN!!!”
‘What in the world?’
I noticed a dust cloud trail coming from the horizon and leading towards a hill by the farm. Soon Applejack popped up over the crest of the hill, sprinting in my direction.
“STAN!!! I’M GOING TO BUCK YOU INTO NEXT WEEK!!!”
‘Huh. Didn’t see that one coming.’
She was gaining ground to my current position scarily quick.
‘I should probably...S***!’
The mare was a mere ten feet away from me at that point. I made a split second decision and quickly scaled the trunk of the small apple tree. Luckily my arm was back to functioning at this point.
Settling uncomfortably among the tree’s branches, I looked down at the angry mare now waiting at the base of the trunk.
“Stan! Come down from there so I can beat ya down fer what ya said to Fluttershy!”
“How about I not do that and stay up here?”
She ground her teeth in frustration before turning around and bucking the tree rather hard.
“F***!”
I clambered to find a hold on the branches to keep from falling.
Applejack turned her head and looked behind her back up at me with a smirk.
“What? Can’t handle a good ol’-” She whacked the tree again. “-buck?”
“I can handle a buck just fine, your friend Fluttershy can attest to that.”
‘Okay, WHY IN THE HELL DID I JUST SAY THAT?!?’
Her smirk vanished and her right eye twitched slightly. She suddenly shot her legs out and bucked the tree hard enough to splinter the trunk, forcing me to grab the branches all the tighter. Without another look back, she trotted away in the direction of the barn.
Playing it safe, I decided it was in my best interests to stay up in the tree. That’s not saying I didn’t keep my eye on the crazy orange mare.
‘What is that girl up to?’
Of course, life being life decided to answer that question for me.
Applejack shot out of the barn, again holding something it her mouth. It had a long wooden handle with a red and silver blade at its tip.
‘Is that...an axe?’
Applejack stopped in front of my tree and dropped the axe on the ground.
“Ahm gonna ask ya one more time, come down from there now and I’ll only break three of your limbs.”
“You wouldn’t chop down one of your own apple trees.”
“Try me.”
She deadpanned.
I didn’t make another move or sound, I just grabbed an apple from a branch I apparently missed and began to munch on it.
“Alright Stanny boy, suit yourself.”
She lowered her head to the ground, picked up the handle of the axe in her mouth and pulled her head back to swing. I flinched and closed my eyes; expectantly waiting for the axe’s impact.
Of course, it never came.
I opened my eyes back up and looked down at the mare. She had dropped the axe on the ground again and was staring with glistening eyes at the trunk of the tree. She walked up next to it and placed a hoof on the trunk with her head lowered.
“Ah- Ahm’ sorry Bethany...”
‘Is she crying over a tree?’
I made a poor attempt at muffling a snort, sending Applejack’s vision straight back up at me. She had tears running down her face at this point, but her expression was far from sad. Her eyes had nothing on Fluttershy’s ‘stare’, but the sheer anger behind them still sent a shiver down my spine.
Redoubled with righteous fury, she lifted the axe back up and took a swing at the tree. The sudden shaking almost making me lose my handholds.
“F***! Applejack, what in the hell are you accomplishing here?!?”
I flinched every time she reared back and made contact with the trunk; I mean come on, that had to hurt her teeth.
“I’m- *thwack* -hoping- *thwack* -to put a- *thwack* -dent- *thwack* -in that thick skull of yours!”
She said slightly muffled by the handle.
The mare was making impossibly quick progress, chunks of Bethany were flying all over the place. I was put into a place of desperation; I’d rather not die by the hooves of a cute, little, orange pony, I’d be the laughing stock of the afterlife if that were to happen.
“Uhh...AHH stop Applejack, it’s Bethany, please stop!”
I attempted to imitate a girls voice, failing miserably I might add.
She looked up at me.
“Joke’s on you pardner, Bethany is a guy.”
She said smiling through the handle.
“Why in the hell would you name a guy Bethany?!?”
*K-CRACK*
‘Oh no...’
Applejack dropped the axe, turned around and looked over her shoulder up at me. She smiled a devious smile.
“Game over Stanny boy.”
She shot her legs out and bucked the tree for all she was worth. You’d figure that it’d just tip over, but noooo it had to completely separate from the trunk and fly backwards. I must say: That girl has some legs on her.
“S*** F***!”
I flew out of the branches and fell none too gracefully onto my back, knocking my head rather hard against the ground. I reached a shaking hand to the back of my skull and pulled it in front of my face, it was stained with red.
‘Oh blood...That’s coooo-’
My vision swam with pink dots as I blacked out.
I was suddenly pressed against a wooden floor with my eyes closed and my lips locked with some other being.
‘What the hell?’
The familiar sensation of a tongue entering my mouth cleared away my confusion. When Discord makes a promise, he’s always sure to deliver. I was apparently reliving the ‘lost memory’ of my time with Fluttershy yesterday.
The tongue retreated from my mouth suddenly as the lips pulled away, my body opened its eyes in surprise.
“What is it my dear?”
My accented voice spoke.
Fluttershy stood above my form, though strangely with tears streaking down her face. Not happy tears or hysterical tears, but tears of genuine sadness.
My body reached a hand out and rested it on her cheek.
“Fluttershy, it’s me Stanley, why are you crying.”
She recoiled at my touch and slapped my hand away with her hoof.
“*sniff* That’s just it, this isn’t right, you aren’t Stan.”
"My dear, Stan is a brute and a jerk."
She turned her head towards me, eyes filled with furious tears. She placed a forehoof none too gently on my chest.
"Don't say that about him!”
‘The hell is going on here?’
I looked into her angry eyes.
“Well right now Stan isn’t here, I am. I’m the closest you’ll ever get to having a relationship with that-” I made a disgusted face. “-miserable, uncouth-”
The pressure increased on my chest.
“Maaaaan.”
I wheezed out.
Fluttershy’s rage dissipated as she visibly deflated.
“I-I know...”
Fluttershy lowered her head and my hand reached out to stroke her mane.
“Then let’s make this a day to remember my dear.”
Fluttershy lifted her head back up and looked at me with glistening eyes. Her mouth turned up into a smile and mine soon followed suit.
“*sniff* Yeah, a day to remember.”
“STAN!”
‘What was that?’
“STAN! WAKE UP!”
“Stan...Please wake up.”
I opened my eyes to the world and was treated with the sight of what appeared to be an angel. Light was streaking around her face, framing it with sunbeams and hiding her features.
"Wh-what?"
I croaked.
The figure jumped back in surprise before quickly moving back towards me. Two large turquoise pools were staring at me intently, not a shred of ill will within their depths.
"F-Fluttershy?"
I asked.
My vision suddenly filled with orange as something roughly hit my forehead with an intense amount of force.
Fluttershy shifted her vision from me onto the source of the orange hoof.
"Applejack!"
Fluttershy looked back down at me as my vision began to swim.
"Stan? Stan!?!"
She lifted her head back up with anger on her features.
I heard a muffled "How dare you!" before blacking out again.
'The hell?'
My surroundings had changed dramatically. I was now in a familiar stretch of plain sitting down with my back against a tree. It was now late in the day, the only source of illumination coming from the moon and stars in front of me. I was made aware of a warm weight leaning against me as it sighed in contentment.
"I-it's so beautiful..."
Fluttershy’s voice spoke from my side.
"Not as beautiful as you my dear."
My arm reached around her and scratched tenderly against her ear.
"Mmmm... NO!"
The pegasus jumped out of my reach, her warmth quickly retreating from my being as the brisk night air filled its place.
"Fluttershy, what is wrong?"
She glared accusingly at me.
"You know perfectly well what's wrong." She trotted towards me and pressed a hoof roughly against my chest. "Don't. Touch. My. Ears."
"Y-you aren't Stan..."
Her head lowered as she looked at the ground.
I pursed my lips.
"No my dear, I am not Stan." I stood up and reached a hand out, carefully stroking her mane. I lowered my mouth to her ear. "But I'll do things for you that you can't even dream of Stan doing."
I whispered.
I blew a steady stream of cold air at her ear and she melted under my hand.
"Mmph...N-...NO!"
She jumped back out of the reach of my arm again.
My doppelganger rolled its eyes.
"So you don't want to have any fun tonight I see." Fluttershy shook her head as she looked at me. "Then what do you want to do my dearest Fluttershy?"
"W-well... When I was a filly, my parents and I used to lay on the clouds and look up at the night sky... W-we t-tried to make constellations out of the scattered stars..."
I raised an eyebrow at her, but laid down on the checkered blanket nonetheless. Fluttershy soon trotted over and laid on her back next to me. She sighed.
“I-I don’t love you Stanley...” She paused. “But I’m glad that you’re around... A-at least I can pretend that you’re Stan...”
“I’m both flattered and disgusted by that.”
My voice spoke.
And my vision suddenly exploded with light.
I jolted awake into a sitting up position. Looking around, I saw that I was in Fluttershy’s cottage on her couch in the living room.
‘That stupid applebucking b****! I’m going to get you back, mark my words...’
I was brought out of my thoughts by an intake of breath coming from the kitchen. Turning my head, I saw Fluttershy standing in the doorway with a bowl balanced on top of her head.
She lowered her head and looked away from me, nearly spilling the substance in the process. I watched her as she slowly trotted over to me and deposited the bowl on the coffee table in front of me.
“I-I umm...Made you some soup...”
I looked down at the bowl and reached towards the handle of the spoon inside of it. I brought a scoop to my lips and opened my mouth, but made a sudden decision and dropped it back into the bowl.
“OH! I’m sorry, do you not like tomato?”
Her eyes began to tear up.
“I-I’m screwing up e-everything today.”
“Fluttershy-”
I spoke softly but was quickly cut off.
“N-no. I-I deserve it; everything I put you through since you’ve gotten here.” She sniffled. “I-I’m so sorry Stan. I-I just wanted you to-”
I placed my hand under her chin and lifted up her head up to look me in the eyes. She stared back at me in surprise. Making another split second decision, I brought the weeping pegasus into a hug, putting her head over my shoulder.
“No Fluttershy, I’m sorry.”
“*Sniff* Wh-what?”
“I made an assumption about you with no grounds -actually, I had some reasons to make the assumption but-” She sniffed again. “Anyways, regardless of what you've done before, I'm the one that needs to apologize.”
“B-b-but-”
She blubbered out.
“Look, I’m not good with this sappy stuff. Just take my apology and we can get on with our lives.”
“Y-y-” She took a deep breath. “Yes I-I forgive you.”
I rubbed a hand against her back gently, not even taking the time to avoid her wings.
“D-does that mean you’re staying here?”
“Well, I’m pretty sure that if I went back to Applejack’s she’d murder me and use my skull for-”
She suddenly wiggled out of my grasp and embraced me tightly with her forehooves around my neck.
“YES! YES! YES! YES!”
Her wings were flapping excitedly behind her back.
“MMM...FLUTTERSHY...CAN’T BREATH!”
I said hoarsely, pun intended.
She quickly released me and dropped down onto all four hooves, blushing slightly in embarrassment. I reached an arm up and rubbed my neck tenderly.
“Now that that’s out of the way.” I stood up. “How about I whip something up for ya? My treat. I mean technically it’s your food but-”
I had began to walk towards the kitchen, but she shot out a hoof and grasped my hand with its magical magnetic powers. I stopped and looked down at her.
“What is it Fluttershy?”
“Now that y-you’re not mad at me. R-remember th-that question I w-was going to ask you y-yesterday?”
I waved a hand dismissively.
“Yes yes, but you never got a chance to ask. So what is it.”
She took a deep breath and adopted a determined expression on her face.
“St-Stan?”
I rolled my eyes and smiled at her shyness.
“Yes Fluttershy?”
“W-would y-you go out on a d-date with me?”