Chapter 3 - Boundaries
Chapter 3 - Titillating Typography
I was woken up by something hard. That might not have been a bad thing, had the object not been roughly hoof shaped and impacting my muzzle, sending me toppling over to land on my back. Who had I fallen asleep next to this time?
“Boundaries, Scootaloo!” a voice called out.
“Ugh?” I rubbed the tears out of my eyes. These pony noses were much more sensitive than a human’s nose. My mind quickly caught up with my situation. I woke up as Scootaloo, had fun racing on the scooter, tackled Apple Bloom in a hug, and fell asleep next to her. Oh. . . Apple Bloom must have been surprised when she woke up to us cuddling.
“Hey, I’m all about boundaries. I just didn’t know you were so grumpy when you woke up,” I replied.
“Ah’m not grumpy, trust me. When ah’m fuckin’ grumpy, you’ll know it!”
I picked myself up and stood to look at her. I don’t recall Apple Bloom ever saying bucking before. Maybe in real life, the ponies did use ponified swears. That must be the explanation; I couldn’t expect this to be exactly like the show. The best thing to do was stop over-analyzing and just enjoy the ride.
“My bad.” I smiled.
Apple Bloom rolled her eyes and noticed her sister staring at her from the second floor. I could see they were both on edge, though Apple Bloom seemed to have gone from grumpy to scared as her ears folded down.
“Enough horseplay, let’s go crusaderin’ Scootaloo! We can uh. . . go find Sweetie and do fun, normal pony stuff!” Apple Bloom ran out the door, barely waiting for me to follow.
“That sounds great, but slow down!” I followed her out the door. When I looked back, I saw Applejack watching us. Maybe it was just me, but I don’t recall ever getting a stalker vibe from her. I’d have to be careful; there was no telling what happened around the farm when nopony was looking. For all I knew, in this universe Big Mac really did have a thing for fillies.
Sweet Celestia, I hope not. If I turn out to be stuck in one of those. . . no, this is the normal Equestria. Just because a couple ponies don’t match my version of canon doesn’t mean somepony is going to kill me and ruin my fun.
“So I was thinking of getting stunt double cutie marks,” I offered.
“What?”
“You know, we’re going crusading. I want to fire Sweetie out of a cannon. It’s simple math, not the least bit reckless.”
“As long as y’all don’t fire me, fine. Ah’d like to see somepony launched to the moon.”
I watched as she looked back at her home, as if it were some sort of monster.
“Oh! I get it now. It makes sense: it’s Applejack’s time of year and you must be going through—”
“Don’t you dare finish that sentence!” Apple Bloom interjected.
“—puberty! No wonder you two are fighting, Sugarcube.” I giggled at her pained expression. I was sure for all the times they’d called Scootaloo chicken, the poor filly deserved some payback.
“One. . .”
“Huh?”
“Two. . .”
“Hey, Bloom, you're starting to creep me out,” I said.
“Three!”
Apple Bloom lunged for me. Luckily, I was ready. My wings began to buzz, and I narrowly dodged her. I began laughing and running away. “This is more like it!” I shouted as we played tag.
“Y’all are good as plucked, ya chicken!” Apple Bloom shouted.
“Hah! Nopony calls me chicken.” I kept running towards the clubhouse. Finally, I was having some fun and had cheered my new friend up.
“Then why are ya runnin’? Ah just want to talk!”
I ran along and weaved through the apple trees. Despite being an earth pony, she was able to keep up. I wished my wings worked a little better. Part of me knew that most flying animals didn’t flap like a hummingbird. I’d have to try gliding some time; maybe Scootaloo was just doing it wrong. Now that I was here, I was going to learn to fly, and not even tiny wings would prevent that.
My train of thought ended as I reached the front door to the clubhouse and put a hoof on it.
“Safe!” I shouted, and paused to catch my breath. I turned around to see how far ahead of Apple Bloom I was.
The yellow missile hit me in the side, knocking us through the door. We rolled to a stop inside. It was all too hilarious and I laughing loudly, unable to control myself. Even after my fellow crusader stood up and glared at me. I saw her finally break and smile, perhaps even laugh, before sighing and rolling her eyes again.
“Y’all are lucky ah’m in a forgivin’ mood, on account o’ you bein’ slightly less annoyin’ than my sis.” Apple Bloom offered me a hoof to help me up.
I grabbed her hoof and let her pull me up. She didn’t let go, instead pulling me face to face.
“But don’t ya dare talk ta me about puberty again, ok?”
“Sure, boundaries, got it.” I smiled, and since she wouldn’t let go, I hugged her. That did the trick, and she suddenly let go. “I’m just glad I saw a smile in there. For a second I thought you’d rolled around in some poison joke or something.”
“Damn, ah wish this whole day was just poison joke,” Apple Bloom said.
“Why? Are you sick? Oh! I totally know some medical stuff! Can I treat you?”
“Ah reckon you can’t even read, so how’d you learn medical stuff?”
“The intern—national library in Canterlot? Just ’cuz I don’t read all the time doesn’t mean I can’t read,” I bluffed. I had nearly blown my cover, and the last thing I needed was the element of honesty and her sister interrogating the alien that stole Scootaloo’s body.
“Yeah, right. If ya’ll can read, read my lips.”
I watched her mouth some words but couldn’t make them out. I nearly started laughing again when she stopped me with her hoof.
“Please, enough laughin’. Ah thought ya were gonna get me off the farm for some fresh air or somethin’.”
“Oh, sure! I think the wagon is out back. I’ll grab my scooter and our helmets and give you a ride into town.”
“Helmets?”
“Yeah, in this closet.” I opened it up and found Sweetie Belle’s and Apple Bloom’s helmets. “Take these and I’ll get the wagon hooked up to the scooter.”
“Ya ain’t gonna get me on no darn death trap on wheels! Ugh, stupid accent. . .”
“What accident? I don’t recall crashing that many times. I mean, I went almost thirty minutes without hitting a tree root this morning. What’s the worst that can happen?”
“Ah take back what I said about puberty. Ya’ll ask me What’s the worst that can happen one more time and ah’ll fling ya into Ghastly Gorge myself.”
“Well, I suppose most of our crusades end in tragedy, so I see why you don’t want me to jinx it. . . come on! You’ve got to ride into town with me. I’ve been dying to go on a proper crusade!”
I pulled out my patented puppy eye look. For a moment I thought it had lost its charm, until she grunted and started fumbling her helmet on.
“Awesome! I’ll be right back.” I rushed outside with the scooter, my helmet already fastened. I tied the wagon to the scooter, and thanked Celestia for the unique physics of this world. They allowed me to be just bendy and indestructible enough, yet still allowed me to propel myself at fun velocities.
This was going to either be the best crusade ever, or the shortest wagon ride of our life. I caught on to the scooter quick enough; this couldn’t be any harder.
Apple Bloom came out and started to climb into the wagon. I had to stifle my chuckling as she struggled to get inside. It wasn’t taller than her, but getting up over the edge of the wagon made her look like she was drunk. Actually, I had a cat that flailed around like that once. To be fair, I was taking him through airport security and had to hold him by the scruff of his neck while they tested him for explosive residue. Thank Celestia I didn’t live in such a crazy place anymore.
Once she was in, I hopped on the scooter. “Please fasten your seatbelts and keep your arms and legs inside the wagon at all times. We know you have no choice in transportation, so we thank you for continuing to use us after your constant near death experiences!”
“Wait, what the fu—” Apple Bloom was cut off as I flapped my wings and shot off at full speed. The scooter and I traveled a few inches, the rope pulled taught, and with a mighty jerk the wagon accelerated to full speed.
I felt lighter and slowed down. I looked over my shoulder to find Apple Bloom had fallen out of the wagon. She had landed face first in some mud—at least I really hoped it was mud or she might actually kill me.
“Hey, slowpoke, sorry! I’ll try to be more gentle okay?”
“One. . .”
“Uh, I’m on a scooter. You’ll never catch me.”
“Two. . .”
“You really want to walk?” I asked.
Apple Bloom glanced around, noticing her sister spying on us again. She took a deep breath. “Eh, whatever, let’s go.”
She hurried over and hopped in the wagon. I took off more slowly this time. On the way to Sugarcube Corner I mused over what had her and her sister at odds. Women, I never did understand them. Now I am one. Go figure.
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The magic censoring powers scream convenient when convenient.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy..
This and a hundred other little moments like it. I love everything about this.
I am loving the spike improv.
Oh god that was funny
Lol what? I am shocked.
A man after my heart.
So Applebloom's a drunk, sweetie belle has violent tendencies, scootaloo's a newish brony, and spike's a sexual deviant.
God DAMN this is gonna be awesome.
why are there no more chapters to read
Ahh! I hate censoring. Why isn't applebloom censored though?
Haha, Spike is censored just like Sweetie Belle!
This story is turning out to be so funny... and we STILL haven't seen Blueblood's character yet. Can't wait for the next chapter.
I love the scoot and bloom bits, but the spike part was a bit... much. I skipped most of it. It wasn't comedy as much as it was disturbing. Simply because of the extent it went to. I feel it could have been summed up faster or had a break in it at some point.
2840767
"I didn't think applebloom ever used the word 'buck'." - scootaloo.
She was censored. Just to a ponyfied extent. Still cuss words in the pony world. Just different.
can i be applejacks dog
2840767
she is. She said f***ing and Scoots heard "bucking"
subtle, but there.
2840968 2840918 well, I was more referring to when applebloom said shit. That wasn't censored form what we can tell, and sweetiebelle (or however you're supposed to spell it) was completely censored. Not even things like "kill me" got through. Same with spike. It was changed. Yet applebloom retained most cussing abilities. Just a tad confusing to me
2841001
Maybe earth ponies have the most resistance to censorship. Or it's her accent. Or maybe "shit" Is being interpreted as using the bathroom and "reproduction" couldn't get through. Or maybe she wasn't onscreen at the time and got a few words in.
Onscreen at the time...
maybe... there's a fourth wall somewhere?
2840879 Good for you When I'm in a lot of pain I tend to change languages every second word, it creep the shit out of my friends ~C.Spirit
2841015 fourth wall? Possible. It does mention that the person talking is a narrator at some point. Very possible?
I'm starting to think that applebloom can swear because she/he has it worst? No that doesn't make any sense. Or that applejack is the element of honesty, so she hears what was meant to be said, not what is said? If that makes any sense? That or shit has no replacements for censorship, and its just one of those words that can slip through... I guess as we get more content, we can formulate a good reason why this is.
2841114
well there's "sit" "hit" and "shift". Perhaps it's just Applejack who can hear the curses, nopony else. Element of Honesty might transcend censorship, like a knife cutting a filter.
2840767
Obviously the censoring isn't universal, but instead is something connected to the minds of the ponies hearing the words. Since Scootaloo's human mind isn't from Equestria, she still recognizes the swears, but everyone native to equestria isn't recognizing them at all.
Which means that Applejack is also a human mind in AJ's body.
2840968
I'm still pending on this one. I think the human scoot guy actually did hear fucking, but figured he misheard.
2841129
exactly. It makes sense that the element of honesty would be able to sense truth. But then again there is Big Mac. He also heard 'shit'
2841132
Not sure why, Just feel like I should leave this here
derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjIwMTIvMTAvMDQvMThfMjlfMjhfNTY1XzExMzQ3N19fVU5PUFRfX3NhZmVfc3Bpa2VfbWFjcm8iXSxbInAiLCJ0aHVtYiIsIjI1MHgyNTAiXV0/113477__safe_spike_image-macro_vulgar_stoner-spike.jpg.jpg
The spike part is on of the funniest ones yet!!!
this story is 2 good, keep it up pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
This is just getting better and better
If only I hadn't misplaced my time machine...
okay so we have a happy-chap, an alcoholic and a nymphomaniac... now we just need a junkie, firefighter, vegetable and guy with tourette's and this story will officially be best story.
I just had to stop reading here for like five minutes as I laughed my bucking head off.
There was a difference between a guy who fantasizes about watching girls change in semi-privacy and me. And that difference is sexual integrity and a pair of high-powered binoculars..
This guy, he's doin it right.
i.qkme.me/6sfh.jpg
I don't know why, but when I was reading this, I got the weirdest sense of de-ja-vu.
Maybe, you re-read it?
Maybe...
~Sylpheed and Eli
2840753
Wait...what the hell does this make Blueblood
2840879
I prefer Germanic sounding Gibberish
2841015
That's a rather disturbing possibility. Oh I feel sorry for the children.
This story is still incredibly entertaining to me. I'm kinda surprised that Apple Bloom didn't pick up on that bit where Scoot's slipped up.
The best chapter has arrived
2841983
Probably nothing much worse than he is already
Then again....
2840767 Actually she is. When she said fucking to scoot, scoot heard bucking. I'm guessing that the censoring has something to do with the situation they're in. Like AB's accent (which when said censored to accident) while the guy hates that accent.
2842307 yes, but why did Applebloom get her mouth washed with soap when she said shit, whereas all of the other characters are completely censored?
HELL YEAH I LOVE YOU
Well someone said that Sweetie can't cuss because he likes cussing so he is censored, but Applebloom can because she just does it not all the time though, but she can't get any alcohol because she is an alcoholic, and Scootaloo I don't remember or they didnt say anything about it. I think that that's right.
No pony can hear another swear, interesting...
EVERYBODY DOWN! That cat is pure RDX!
And thus the crime spree of Mowgli the cat came to an abrupt end.
Twixie cannot think without his penis at all. Wonder if this will end in one of the CMC getting raped... Though it is odd how Kaidan is not hearing Derek swear, I think AJ was able to hear her/him. Conclusion; Kaidan is deep in denial and only hears as he wants.
I still think the censorship has something to do with the mouth-washing ritual.
2842925 OH MY GOD they're in the special pony hell!
I really need to copy this fic into a E-Paper device, just to make the fic be incorrect about what it is being read on
2842329 Well fuck went to buck and as far as I know that is a curse word there too. So shit could have actually been translated to a curse word applebloom does know or an offensive word.
As the show indicated Applebloom can be uncouth at times.
"For all I knew, in this universe Big Mac really did have a thing for fillies."
)
Sweet apple massacre
"Also, it’s Celestia and Luna. Princest is most certainly wincest." Agreed
“Half-ruler.” oh god this scene is glorious!
I like whoever is being spike, I DEMAND MOAR. (have it be a long line of ingenious says of seduction blown off by canon possibly ending in an actual romance without him realizing it?
Left templegasms are best gasms
2844444 but even then, sweetiebelle had EVERYTHING censored. Even when she did say stuff, rarity failed to hear what sweetie was trying to tell her...
i think my laugh box is broken from overuse
templegasms! I want one!
Let me templegasm all over your pretty faces! 
2846921 As I said, Sweetie was raised to be completely polite and never be offensive, EVER.
Look at the show and if you look closely at their behavior you will see that sweetie is always polite and such while scoots and bloom will have some unpolite tendencies.
Also don't forget the thing about double meanings, we may find something sexual because of our perverted minds (like Spike's conversation), but there it could mean something normal without any double meaning.
Oh god, another one of you is doing the censoring thing. Listen, I really don't think this is a good idea. Apple Bloom's part had her getting into trouble for swearing as did Sweetie Belle's. This whole censoring thing you have going on really makes me think you people can't work well together to make something good. Don't get me wrong, the idea of multiple authors writing their own part of their POV is a nice idea, but damn it people you need to talk to each other over stuff like that otherwise your ideas will conflict with each other. Also Spike's start rambled on just a bit too much. It was a nice little insight into what this guy's like, but it went on a a bit too much.
The parts with Apple Bloom and Scootaloo though are going well. I like the way they interact.
I feel like a bit of an arsehole for writing a paragraph of negativity then ending it with one line of positivity. Sorry.