Not Safe From the Water [Unedited]
Dan & Pinkie VS.
Chapter 6 – Not Safe From the Water or Cast Away and Lost on The Beach of The Flies. (Gilligan Island joke here!)
“So…? What exactly are we doing at the aquarium in City of Industry?” inquired Pinkie once they parked Chris' car and were by the entrance of said aquarium.
“Easy! We’re going to take a shark and let it loose on the beach!” Dan replied with an evil look on his eyes and a disturbing grin. He couldn’t help himself but to rub his hands in classic villainous fashion.
“So…it’s like we’re returning it to the ocean, right?” she asked mostly to herself trying to rationalize and see in a positive light their soon to be criminal actions. “We are freeing the poor shark so it can be back home with its friends and family! Just like my friend Fluttershy and her eco-friends online!”
“Yes, yes, like those tree-hugging…wait…Fluttershy? What kind of name is that?” Was she raised by hippies or something? He hoped it was a she, because if it was a guy named Fluttershy, Dan wouldn’t know if to fell sorry for him or laugh at his face. Probably laugh.
“Of course not! That’s a cute nickname I gave her when we first met. Poor girl was such a shy girl, always quiet and her only friends were the animals that lived around town. That’s why I decided to become friends with her, so she wouldn’t be all alone anymore. Then we met the rest of our friends and became a very close with one and other.”
“Yeah, yeah, very interesting; now on the mission at hand!” Dan interrupted her before she went on a tangent, he needed her to be focused on the mission and not lost in memory lane.
“This is what we’re going to do.” Dan said in a very serious tone “I’ll make a distraction and you sneak into the white shark tank, shoot it with a tranquilizer, take him out of the tank, drag it all the way here and tie it to the roof of the car. Easy right?” it was a plan so simple and so genius at the same time. He even let Pinkie do the easy part.
“Here! Take this!” Dan handed Pinkie the key instrument for his plan, a crossbow tranquilizer gun. “You only have 3 shots so don’t mess it up!”
“I won’t disappoint, Capt’n!” She brought her hand with the tranquilizer gun and make the classic navy salute.
“Yes, now let’s go!”
/////////////////////////////////////////
“Well, that went better than expected!” said Dan who was seated as the copilot next to Pinkie. They were driving Chris’ car back to the beach with an enormous 17 ft long great white shark with a weight around 4,200 lb. ; how did Pinkie managed to carry and tie a beast of such size without help was anyone’s guess. “You’ll think they have better security.”
“Weeee! Activism sure is fun! I never thought I’d ever swim with a shark before!” Pinkie said all too excitedly and without any scratches on her. The only indication that she was on the tank besides the shark on the car’s roof was her wet hair that was already drying.
“Turn to the left next stop,” Dan pointed his finger to the window, “we need to go to the pier!” he said but didn’t explain any further than that.
After Pinkie drove the car over the pier, which surely wasn’t illegal, was it? They were ready to unload the shark from the car into the boat.
“Wow Dan! I never knew you had a boat before!” Pinkie chimed in amazement; every time she hung around him she discovered new and incredible things about him, like his love for animals, and his various resources like boats and crossbows.
“Yeah, me neither” he just muttered to himself, thankfully Pinkie didn’t hear him. Better for her not to know that they were ‘borrowing’ the boat without permission.
Had the shark been conscious, it would’ve proven difficult to put him and tied him on the tiny boat Dan was ‘borrowing’, luckily Pinkie didn’t missed any of the tranquilizer darts; so the shark slept like a baby, a 4,200 lb killer baby.
By the time the shark woke up, the three of them were already far away from the shore and positioning themselves to drop off the shark so he would swim towards the beach and not further to the ocean. The shark seeing two meaty bags of delicious ‘food’ tried to chomp at them.
“Aww it’s so adorable” Surprisingly said Dan and not Pinkie. Who knew that Dan found nature’s perfect killing machines adorable? “Do you think we should name him Chompy? Or he looks more like a Greg?”
When the Shark began trashing more and more and chomp harder and harder, it looked like the name was obvious.
“I think Chompy fits him just fine!” agreed Pinkie, who didn’t minded the shark trying to chomp off their legs. “It’s a shame we have to return him to the wild. He could be the perfect playing partner for Gummy!”
“Yes…Gummy” Dan muttered and rolled his eyes at the mention of Pinkie’s pet alligator.
Dan was ‘formally introduced’ to Gummy the night he spent at Pinkie’s house to watch a horror movie marathon. They were watching a vampire movie, were the vampires were true vampires and didn’t sparkle on the day or have weird relationships with underage girls, no these vampires were horrible bloodsuckers that kept the body count rolling and rolling.
After a gallon of soda, Pinkie excused herself and went to the bathroom leaving Dan all alone in the Dark. Others would’ve feel scared but hot him, he was desensitized a long time ago. But after a few minutes, he felt like something or someone was watching him. At the time he thought it was Pinkie trying to scare him, but he was wrong. The stare felt unnatural, inhuman, not even he could project a gaze like that.
Then it happen, the thing that had been stalking in the dark attacked. It clamped its powerful maw on his unsuspecting hand near the popcorn bowl. He trashed around trying to get his had free from the creature, but it was for naught, the creature wouldn’t relent from his prey.
Moments later Pinkie came and turned on the lights and revealed the true identity of the creature, a small green alligator with no teeth. He was Gummy and he was Pinkie’s pet. Pinkie profusely apologized to him and tried to make it up to him with some delicious nachos. As for Gummy he was put in a small but colorful pen as punishment for being ‘naughty’.
Dan would’ve left after that but the promise of free nachos was too good to pass on. So the marathon continued but Dan could still feel Gummy’s unnatural gaze on him all night long. With those unblinking purple eyes. Looking not at him but thru him, looking directly to his soul, judging him. Dan still shuddered at the thought.
After shaking his head left and right to get rid of the thoughts, Dan noticed they were finally in the perfect spot.
“Stop, right here!” He commanded at once. “Now Pinkie, drop the anchor!” Once the anchor was completely submerged, Dan turned towards Chompy. “Chompy! You are a noble and heroic creature, which inspired countless B-style movies I enjoy.” He then loosened the ropes that tied Chompy to the boat. “Now go! Be free to terrorize the beach and all those beach people.” After Chompy submerged in the water and began swimming towards the beach and waved him goodbye. “Go! And eat the children!”
“Dan! That’s not nice!” Pinkie nagged loudly.
“Ok fine! Eat the elderly! They already lived a long life!” he rectified to the shark in an annoyed manner.
“That’s better!.......I think?” said Pinkie unsure of what she should feel at the moment; if happy for Chompy to be back at his habitat or fearful for the people at the beach.
After Chompy’s dorsal fin was out of sight, Dan quickly opened a box of supplies and took out two pairs of binoculars, one pair for him to use and watch the massacre and the other pair he tossed to Pinkie who swiftly caught it.
After a few minutes of trying and failing to catch the location of Chompy, Dan turned towards Pinkie. “Hey, did you see anything?”
“Yes, I ‘sea’ something!” Pinkie giggled at her own bad pun that made Dan groan. “I see Elise and Chris sucking face at the beach! Wow, you go girl!” she cheered for Elise.
“What?! EWW! I don’t want to hear that!” But it was too late; the mental image was already on this head. “Oh sick! I meant about Chompy! I don’t see him anywhere near the beach!” Yes, yes, better think about sharks and blood. That would make the gross images go away.
“Well I don’t see him anywhere!” she informed to a disappointed Dan, “I’m sure he is looking for his family now! We probably won’t see him again.”
As soon as she said those words, a familiar dorsal fin resurfaced from the water and was headed towards them. Then he grazed the boat but that make the small boat rock back and forward and caused Dan and Pinkie to lose their balance.
“Dan, we’re going to need a bigger boat.” Pinkie commented while trying to regain her footing.
“Seriously?!” Dan was baffled. “Right now?!” he couldn’t believe she would say something like that in a moment like this.
“Well, it seemed like the perfect opportunity! I mean, how many times could we possible be in this exact same situation in the future?” Pinkie explained herself, although she felt a little down because it didn’t have the effect she hoped for. “It was now or never!”
Suddenly the boat shook once again, but this time it was being dragged. It seemed that Chompy was pulling the anchor dragging the small boat with him.
In his frightened state, Dan instinctively grabbed the closest thing to him which at the time was Pinkie who hugged him back.
“AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!”
The whole thing lasted a full three minutes, but for the frightened duo, it seemed like hours. Unfortunately for them, the whole ride lasted until the small boat was torn by half. Now they were rapidly submerging in the cold water.
“Help! Help!” cried out Dan who was trashing violently and in panic. He had never learned to swim and now it was costing him his life.
“Dan! I have you!” Pinkie reassured him and took him by the back of his shirt and to keep him afloat. Looking around, Pinkie found a large enough piece from their destroyed boat. She swam towards it and lifted Dan upon it. Dan, now in the relative safe piece of wood, slowly regained his cool.
“At…least…we died for a good cause!” groaned Dan who look disappointed for not been able to get revenge at the beach before dying. Rising his angry fist to the skies he yelled. “Here I come, grandma! YOU JERK!”
Pinkie seeing the depressed state Dan was currently in, decided to lift his spirits before the end. “ Dan, hey Dan!”
“What is it?” Dan looked at Pinkie wondering what she wanted now. Then she took one of his hands with her own and looked at him in the eye. The look on her eyes made him feel things he couldn’t describe. He was enthralled by those big blue eyes of her. “Pinkie…?”
“I’ll never let go, Jack. I promise!”
It took him a whole minute of silence to understand what she just said to him, and when he realized what she just did, he could stop himself from facepalming with his free hand.
“Seriously?!”
“I know, I know!” she said with a silly grin and released his hand. “The roles are inverted, but look at us! One is on a floating piece of debris while the other is swimming in the cold water. How could you not think of …”
“Please, Pinkie! Stahp!” He didn’t want to spend the last seconds of his life talking about one of his least favorite James Cameron movies.
Then a powerful wave rose behind them and came down on them with all its might.
////////////////////
What seemed like an eternity later, Pinkie found herself face down on the wet surface of a shore. After coughing out some salty water, she looked at her surroundings.
“Where am I?” she wondered out-loud and took in the unfamiliar place she found herself in. “It looks like a deserted island” she pointed out to herself when she didn’t hear the sound of people or the city nearby. “What do you think, D…” she stopped herself mid sentence.
“Dan!” she shouted hopping he could hear her. With little trouble Pinkie got back to her feet and tried to call out for Dan again. “Daaan!” She started walking the shore yelling ‘Dan!’ and looking around for any sign of him.
Suddenly she saw a black mass on the distance lying on the sandy floor been splashed by the waves. “Dan!” she was positive that was Dan with his black shirt. She quickly ran to his side and turned him upside up.
“Dan! Dan! Answer me!” She tried to wake him up by shaking his arm, but he didn’t responded. In fact, It looked like he wasn’t breathing!
Pinkie’s mind began to panick fearing the worst, but before she gave into despair, she remembered something about her friend Fluttershy.
Fluttershy has always been a little worrywart and she pleaded her friends to attend First Aid classes and specially learn CPR before she accepted to accompany them to the beach for the summer many years ago. Off course everyone accepted, because they all wanted Fluttershy to join them, and those classes brought her peace of mind.
Now it was time for Pinkie Pie to put those lessons to practice.
Pinkie put one hand over the other and place them at the center of Dan’s chest, then she pushed hard and fast counting out-loud every push. “One…two…three…four…five…” She continued until she reached 30 pushes. After that she tilted Dan’s head to lift of his chin to position it for the next step. Pinkie pinched Dan’s nose and opened his mouth while she drew a deep breath. Once she drew all the air she could, she placed her mouth around Dan’s and gave all her breath. She then drew air and breathed on his mouth again and began with another 30 pushes on his chest.
“Please Dan! Open your eyes! Please breathe!” she said more for herself than to Dan, when she reached 30 pushes, she breathed on his mouth two more times. Still with no reaction so she began pushing his chest again.
“Please Dan! I’m telling you. Open your eyes!” she said more and more worried. “I’m telling you. Wake up!” This time she ordered with anger in her voice. “Don’t you dare die on me! If you die I’ll never forgive you!” She breathed on him two more times and stated pushing again.
“WAKE UP!” yelled at him as loud as she could, but she didn’t get any reaction. Soon after all the anger on her voice disappeared and give step to her sobbing.
“Please…Please…D..Dan” she sobbed and couldn’t contain her tears anymore. “No..no..no. It can’t be happening!” But she couldn’t bring herself to stop, she kept pushing and pushing with all her might despite the tiredness of her arms. “No…Dan!” She drew a final breath and put her mouth around Dan’s.
Once her breath left her, she didn’t move her mouth away. She kept their mouths connected while tears flowed down her eyes falling on Dan’s face.
She hoped for a miracle but in never came.
Dan was dead.
The End.
(Nah! I was just screwing with you guys! I'll never do that! ...But I have the power to do it if i wanted to....which I don't)
Suddenly, Dan opened his eyes only to find Pinkie over him with her mouth over his. In that moment he began jerking out and pushed her away only to cough a lot of water out of his body.
Slowly but steady he began regaining his breath. “What…the…heck…is…going…on?” after looking around his surroundings, he found himself in the last place he wanted to be; in a beach. “Where am…” but before he could finish his question he found himself tackled by Pinkie.
“DANNY!” She cried out in pure joy “You’re alive! I was so worried about you!” She proceeded to hug him as hard as she could, which threaten to kill him by suffocation instead of drowning.
“Get…off…me…woman!” He finally pushed away for a second time after he regained his senses. “Do not do that again!” He warned her. He disliked been touched in such affectionate way without his consent. “Also, never, NEVER, call me Danny ever again! No one calls me like that!”
Pinkie who by now was crying tears of sheer happiness, only nodded in understanding.
“Geez! What’s up with you? What are you crying about?” He asked not because he was worried but because he didn’t want to deal with more of her crying.
“Nothing at all!” Pinkie turned her head from one side to the other, “I’m just happy to see you’re fine, that’s all!” she said controlling her own feelings and wipping away her tears.
//////////////////////////////////////
After a few minutes of explanations about what happened and hoe they ended up on a deserted island that basically could be considered as a giant beach, which concerned Dan, but he put his revenge aside for a more pressing matters, like food.
Looking around near the shore, Pinkie found some bushes with brownish berries growing on them. She picked one up and inspected it carefully. She knew about berries, because she constantly used them on her muffins, but she wasn’t really an expert on all of them, especially ones grown in the wild.
So she decided to leave it up to her ‘sixth sense’. She would put the berry on her mouth and if her sense reacted with danger, then it would be poisonous; if it didn’t then she would just eat it. As she was about to put the berry on her mouth, Dan came right beside her and slapped the berry out of her hands.
“What do you think you’re doing?! That could be poisonous!” He said angry at her reckless behavior.
“Thanks Dan…you saved my life” she said to him while holding her slapped hand. It stung a little but Pinkie wasn’t mad at Dan. He was skeptical when she told him about her ‘sixth sense’ and how it worked; so when he saw her putting a potentially dangerous thing on her mouth so casually, he naturally worried for her health. And she appreciated that.
Then Pinkie felt it, a signal that something was going to fall from the sky. “Look out!” Instinctively she pushed aside Dan out of harm’s way and took a step backwards herself. As she pushed Dan away, a big coconut that would’ve cracked his skull opened fell exactly where Dan was standing a second ago.
As for Pinkie Pie, the step backwards she took resulted in a different story. The moment she was to put her feet back onto the soil, her sense activated again, warning her of danger, but it was too late for her to stop and ended up tripping. She stumbled backwards for a few paces until she felt her feet sunk into something.
Quicksand. Pinkie fell into quicksand.
“Dan! DAN! HELP ME! She cried out for help. She tried not to move but the quicksand sucked her down slowly to her probable death. “Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Dan, help me!”
Dan quickly stood up from Pinkie’s push and looked at her slowly sinking. “Don’t move! or you’ll sink faster! I’ll try something, just don’t move!” He took a quick look around and found something that it might help, a strong but flexible branch. With it he could help save Pinkie.
“Hurry up Dan!” she kept crying on scared, not only once did she stop and notice something peculiar about her senses.
“Dan! Dan! DAN!” She cried out until she felt her feet touch something, it felt like solid ground. “Uh?” Then she noticed she wasn’t sinking anymore and that she just sunk only up to her knees.
Tentatively she tried to move her legs and found out that she could still move but with some difficulty. Pinkie then looked up to Dan who was standing there with his arms crossed, with an annoyed expression on his face.“…Sorry…” Blushing mad in embarrassment, Pinkie walked out of the quicksand. When she walked past Dan, he just kept staring at her not saying anything; he didn’t have to, the expression on his face said everything.
After a short trip to the shore to wash off the remaining quicksand that stuck to her legs, Pinkie returned to Dan and found him sharpening a long stick with a rock.
“Now after that pointless distraction,” Dan remarked without even looking at Pinkie, and she was thankful because she blushed once more in embarrassment. “But now that you are here, we can proceed with my plan” He turned his head and gave her a piercing look “Pinkie, take off your clothes!”
“W-w-what?” Pinkie stuttered and blushed even more, if that was even possible. “D-Dan! W-w-why?” she kept stuttering and imagining all sorts of things that aren’t appropriate for a T-rated story. But she supposed it was inevitable; man and woman all alone in a deserted island, with all sorts of emotions flowing thru their veins. It all sounded like a trashy romance novel her friend Rarity would read.
“Isn’t it obvious, woman? We are hunting!” announced Dan tall and proudly, like he was honoring the ancient ways of his cave-dwelling antecessors.
“Wha…?” the moment Dan announced his goal, Pinkie snapped out of her ‘not-family-friendly’ mental scenarios and looked at Dan confused.
“You heard me! Not take off those clothes while I climb a tree!” Pinkie not following Dan’s train of thought did what she was told because she didn’t have a plan on her own. When Dan was finally atop a high enough branch; Pinkie had already taken off her clothes and was down to her swim suit.
“Dan?” she called out looking up to him on the tree. “I still don’t understand why I have to be undressed.”
Dan just rolled her eyes at her slowness for understanding the plan. “It’s simple!” he began, “the more surface area of meaty flesh you show, the more attractive you are for predators!”
“I guess that makes sense” she replied while stroking her chin as a sign of deep thought. “Unless you’re talking about Yautjas! In that case, less clothing provides a tactical advantage against their infrared vision, but only if I’m covered in mud”
Dan’s first visible response was to facepalm for the second time that day. This wasn’t the place or time to be referencing 80’s movies. “Whatever! Just stand still and look more delicious!” he ordered in a very serious tone.
Pinkie Pie not missing any opportunity go past her, she replied: “More delicious? Does that mean you find me delicious, Dan?” She finished her question by posing like a girl from a magazine cover; lifting one arm and putting it behind her head and placing the other one on her hip while slightly bending to showcase her upper figure.
On the branch, Dan slightly blushed and turned his head away. “Shut up and stand still” he commanded once more.
As Pinkie change her stance into a more comfortable one, but still looking like a pose, Dan took the opportunity to evaluate his reaction to what just happened.
Dan, never, ever blushed. The only times his face would turn red would be when extremely angry, if he was sick, or spent ungodly hours under the blazing sun; never because of a woman.
Then it hit him: he just saw Pinkie as a ‘woman’ and not as the girl that was just Chris’ replacement for the time being. Sure he had called her ‘woman’ a few times now, but it was an expression more than the actual way he had seen her.
Dan quickly smacked his brow a few times to get rid of these distracting thoughts. He had to focus in the mission, on his goal: to survive long enough to be rescued so he could return back home and get his revenge on the beach.
After a few minutes of silence, their wait was rewarded when the bushes began rustling signaling the arrival of a predator. Both Dan and Pinkie were at edge, patiently waiting for the animal to attack. After a few tense seconds of rustling, the predator revealed itself: it was a tropical penguin.
“Awww! Look Dan, it’s a penguin!” beamed while crossing her fingers in delight. She had never seen penguins this close! The only ones she seen were on tv or at the zoo.
Dan on the other had was slightly disappointed that he couldn’t kill a mighty beast and claim it’s corpse in the name of human evolutional superiority, still food was food in the end. “ Don’t move! I’m going to kill it!”
“What?!” You can’t kill a penguin!” she shouted at Dan, who was preparing to throw his pointy stick at the poor creature. “They are sooo cute!...Also I think they are endangered!”
Annoyed, Dan answered back. “It’s us or him, Pinkie! US or him!” he put emphasis on ‘us’ to make it clear that their survival was dependant on killing for food.
“How do you know it’s a He? It could be a She! Or maybe it doesn’t want to be labeled with conventional gender terms!” Pinkie retorted back full of conviction.
“What the heck are you talking about?!” Dan yelled more in confusion than in anger. “Why do you keep spewing such nonsense!?” He was really getting frustrated with Pinkie’s behavior and Dan’s empty stomach wasn’t helping either. With decisiveness he pulled back his arm and readied his shot.
“Dan! No!”
“Die penguin!” he threw the stick with all his strength and with the added advantage of his elevated position, the stick had enough momentum to skewer anything. A shame Dan’s aim wasn’t very good and stick ended up a feet away from the penguin.
The penguin exalted over the attack, made a loud and strange cry that forced Pinkie and Dan to cover their ears. Seconds later, a colony of penguins appeared to answer the cry of their brethren. The entire colony stared angrily at Dan, who was the one responsible for the attack, with their blood red eyes.
“RUN!!!” Dan shouted and hastily made his ‘tactical retreat”. He jumped down from the branch and made a run from it. Pinkie quickly followed, leaving behind her clothes.
Dan and Pinkie ran all the way back to the shore and managed to lose the penguins that were chasing them, thank evolution that made them unable to run. Dan, who didn’t have the best physical condition, was bent placing his arm on his knees and gasping for air. Pinkie on the other hand didn’t look winded at all, she stood silent while Dan recuperated.
“So…do you want to write S.O.S on the sand with seashells?” she suggested as their possible cousre of action.
“It’s no use! Nobody is coming for us!” He really was losing the little hope he had left, and his goal for revenge was getting farther and farther away.
“That’s not true! Elise and Chris will! Once they notice we’re missing, they would do their best to try and find us!” Pinkie replied still with hope. She believe in her friends and they will surely find them in time.
“Bah! Those two are never going to find us! Dan shot down her words with his own pessimism. “Our only hope of survival is to wait for missionaries!” Yes, because waiting for missionaries to come was most likely than their own friends finding them. “In the meantime we need a roof on our heads!”
“I don’t know about that Dan, I mean, we could go and look for a cave but that means going back in there with the penguins who want to kill us!” Pinkie said a little dejected that the cute little penguins didn’t like them at all. “Also there isn’t enough wood lying around to build a full house and a house made of sand is silly, because it wouldn’t be resistant at all!” She knew all about sandcastles and how delicate they were, especially if they were hollow inside.
“So that leaves us if my only idea left, we need to create FIRE!” Dan announced a little too loudly, but he couldn’t help himself, the little pyromaniac kid inside him was giddy about the idea. “ Pinkie! Gather some dry wood for the fire!”
“Ok!”
/////////////////////////////////////////////
45 minutes later, Dan wasn’t closer to making a fire more than when he first started.
“FORGET IT!” He yelled frustrated and kicked away the wood that refused to ignite. “No fire, no food…” at the mention of food, his stomach grumbled loudly. He felt like he was eating himself from the inside out. “The only option left is…” in his already declining sanity, he arrived at the ultimate conclusion: “cannibalism.”
There was no other way, he was desperate and he needed to eat something! And since he wasn’t going to eat himself; by process of elimination, the only candidate for his meal was Pinkie Pie. Even her name sounded delicious, a tasty and warm pie.
Dan began walking real slow to not make any sound at all, and search for Pinkie who had left him alone to build a fire while she gave her idea of writing a rescue signal with seashells a try.
After a few minutes of stalking, Dan finally found his prey. She was crouched on the sand placing all the seashells she found in a circular pattern. She was writing the ‘O’ in S.O.S.
Dan made his approach as silent and slowly as he could, he didn’t want to alert his prey of his presence. But suddenly Pinkie stood still as if she felt a disturbance in her surroundings. Maintaining his patience, Dan stood completely still and waited for his prey to lower her guard once more.
Pinkie stood still feeling confused. Her sixth sense was going up, trying to warn her about something, but by the life of her she couldn’t pin point exactly what is was trying to tell. Something that had to do with her and Dan, but it didn’t specified exactly what was it about the two of them. Was it danger? Something scary was going to happen? Were they going to see a rainbow together? She had no clue.
Pinkie decided to put her ‘premonition’ on the back of her mind for the time being and resumed placing her seashells in order. And that’s when Dan pounced at her.
“RRRWAAAH!” Dan roared as he came down on top of her and pushed her into the ground. His prey tried to fight back but he quickly pinned her arm over her head. She might be taller and be in better shape than him but when it came to pure killer instinct, he was superior.
“Dan! What are you doing!” she cried in fright, once he had her pinned to the ground. But she didn’t get an answer, only growls. A powerful animal instinct overtook him rendering unable to form coherent words.
Still there was enough clarity on his head to understand what he needed to do next and that was to tenderize his meat. So he removed one of his hands for pinning and used to grab and squeeze the meat.
“Dan! What are you…” Her query was interrupted by his touch which caused her to moan. Dan took that as a signal that he was doing it right and keep squeezing different parts of her body.
“Please…Sto∼…!” She tried to plead but she couldn’t stop moaning. Dan’s touch made it difficult for her to think clearly.
After some more tenderizing, Dan needed to know if the meat was tender enough so he decided to take a little bite and check the softness of his meal. Dan brought his face down to Pinkie’s neck and bit her. For Pinkie, the bite was soft enough not to inflict pain but a very pleasurable feeling and caused her moan some more.
Now that the meat felt tender enough, it was time to fully enjoy it, but before he took the first real bite and tear out the flesh, he lifted his head from the soft neck and gave his meal a good long look.
Pinkie could see in his eyes a very primal hunger that only her body would satisfy. He even was drooling at the sight of her. She knew what she wanted and a small part of her want it too. But she wasn’t emotionally ready of something like this. She was still sorting out her own thoughts and feelings for Dan.
Still the look of hunger in his eyes made it clear he wouldn’t stop, he wanted her badly, he needed her and she being her, couldn’t bring herself to leave behind a friend in need. So she stopped her struggle and l relaxed her body.
Surprised that his prey stop struggling, Dan looked at his meal once more and ended up staring at her big blue eyes. It made him stop and calm his inner beast for moment.
Seeing that both of them were staring at each other eyes, Pinkie shyly whispered to Dan. “Please…be gentle” her words were very quiet but the emotion behind them was very strong. So strong that perplexed Dan and sent him in a blinking frenzy.
Dan, now that he was calmer and saner, slowly processed what Pinkie just whispered. In took him half a minute to realize what he was doing, where he currently was, whom he was standing over, and what Pinkie just implied suggested her words.
His only response was the very basic ‘fight or flee’ instinct that every human had in themselves. Dan already exhausted his fighting spirit so that only left one thing: fleeing.
“AAAAHHHHH!!!”
Dan as fast as humanly possible stood away from Pinkie and turn around to run directly into the cold waters of the sea. Leaving behind a confused Pinkie who just looked at him as if he just went insane.
“What happened?”
[Continue in part 3 of the Beach]
Stats
Page generated in 0.027 seconds
Total duration
1,030 users online
2,252,255 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Beautiful. Truly.
Never, EVER laugh in Flutterguy's face! At least not if you want to keep all your internal organs internal.
And it's okay to be terrible at writing saucy scenes. Dan's terrible at being a saucy character.
That said, my mind is now full of sexy human Pinkie.
3068091
You you're right. Fluttershy would get angry. Dan would not like her when shes angry.
Also do not tell that second to last comment to all of those Dan/Chris shippers.
Huh... How interesting.
I find it funny that only after Pinkie relaxed did Dan realize what he was doing.
Very good chapter. Well done. I would've had the coconut named Spalding instead of Wilson.
3068123 Oh, I wasn't talking about FlutterSHY (though yeah, do not tick her off). I was talking about FlutterGUY.
Just Ask Flutterguy
3068177
Yeah, sorry I misunderstood. My bad.
That suggestive scene in the last part of the chapter...Oh my~
T'was funny that Dan came to his senses after Pinkie chose to go along with it
That came dangerously close to clop.
3068318
T-Rated Fic.
I'll never cross that line.
Great chapter.
3068346
Alright...
Huh, what, I'm confused what just happened?
I'm not sure what that was, something tells me that it was entertaining.
My only gripe with this fic is that Dan is more abrasive than steel wool, but that's his character...but you still want to punch him in the face and bust out all of his teeth or nail him with your car, which is why Elise was always my favorite character on the show.
3068517
Yes, I know that the flo of the narrative is choppy and a little messy.
But I'm trying to get better.
As for Dan, yes he is that bad, but he will get better over time.
Hm... This chapter took a weird turn.
3068614
What's wierd about a saucy canibalism scene?
Teasing the fans by being saucy at the end? all i gotta say is..
i.imgur.com/NSJCD8P.jpg
3068703
Thanks. Now...
img.kyon.pl/static/img/remiq.net_3789.jpg
You are going back to collage, and the beach part isn't finished, and you pulled a cruel joke in this chapter, curse you,
AAAAUUUUTTTHHHOOORRRR!!!!!!!!
Dan
Vs
Author!
But really, finish the book plzzzz cuz it's AWESOME!
3068750
i don't wanna bow >.< im too lazy too
That ending....... I think my sides have left orbit.
3068670
So let me see this... Dan, hungry, will kill Pinkie- for food.
And Pinkie wants some saucyness.
It's not exactly breaking character for Dan- But I'd like to think Dan would get a stick, whack Pinkie over the head with it.
Pinkie goes "Huh" and Dan gets confused, and tries to repedily whack her on the head to knock her out, only to have the stick fail against her fluffy hair.
Then Pinkie notices the stick and produces a pinata.
Dan then proceeds to bang himself on the head, only to get knock out.
Then Pinkie holds his head on her thighs, humming a low tune.
Dan then wakes up, and yawns, both arms moving to strech and start touching and tenderizing his meat without knowing.
*Shrugs* But it's your story.
"Dan was dead.
The End."
*Holds breath, prepares to rage in comments*
"(Just screwing with you guys)"
...I hate you for scaring me like that
Dat saucy part...
I don't know what your talking about, you're a sauce master in my book
Hell, I even want more of it
-Kiryu
OH GAWD! How is Dan gonna explain that dick move?
3069380
Sorry!
But it could've been worse, I could've ended chapter 6 right there and post the rest as a new chapter just called 'Canibalism'. That would've been a **** move.
3069391
Nah! It could've been a lot better, I'm terrible at Sauce.
3069406
Who are you the continuity police?
Dan is really losing it. Well, more than usual.
3069505
That was 'terrible'?!
Man, I can only imagine 'good'...
-Kiryu
Just wondering again is there go to be Dan vs Dan but the second one when he tries to make Dan look crazy. I can't remember the name of the episode... Just is there going to be the second time Dan meets Dan...?
so they are in California... where there are apparently coconuts and pegnins and even though they could easily see the 2 friends kissing on the beach they are stranded on a desert island where no one could find them.... the part of me that loves this silly story wants to ignore all that but the practical realist in me is being driven crazy
Hahahahahahaahahaha! Rape time!
fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/273/e/f/pinkie_pie_rape_face_by_theww2dude-d4bd8zx.jpg
3070115 dan vs the telemarketer
vgmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/youve-gone-to-far-boner.jpg
AHAHAHAHAHAHH!
You will get 10 mustaches if these two actually show love at some point.
3070518 thanks
3069505 No but I am the Dick move police. It is my job to punish all those who make dick moves. Even if said dick moves were comedy gold.
3070115
Dan vs Telemarketer? Probably yes.
3070410
Tell that to the Dan vs writers! Even i found it rather silly.
3071013
3071473
show love? or make love?
3072812 Show love. They can be making love, but it will have to obscured, but still there. (In other words, they it said it's there but no graphical stuff present.)
If they make love, however, you win something even better.
God this just keeps getting better and better! I can't wait for the next part.
Things to note
There's one to many movies in this sentence.
Missed the quotation marks.
3072812
Was it really that funny?
3074880
I love 2001: A Space Odyssey references. ...well mostly HAL 9000.
I fucking love you for the jaws and predator references
I laughed my ass off at the dick move and the ending...
...but chrisXdan? no... just... NO
Chris already has a girl and there is no reason to think they would ever be like that... I don't care what people do, because its none of my business, but when someone puts that kind of image in my head intentional or not... I feel physically ill
good thing im getting SC:B today so I can just forget about it
Even the ending had me turned on a bit.
How can you say that that wasn't saucy?
It was delicious!
3078615
I never said it wasn't, I said It's no as good as it could be.
Wait im confused is this the ENDING ending or will there still be more?
3078816
That may be but as your audience, for the most part was well enough. The one thing about writing is that you'll never be able to write exactly what you want.
Oh god yourbsaucy scences are hilarious.
I love the story far so can you please make it so it has like 20 + chapter please?
"bad at writing saucy scenes"
I'll say! Dan would've loved some sauce to go with his Pie. Pinkie would've thought it was him being kinky.