Have you ever woken up somewhere you don't recognize? I have, once before. This time was not all that different. Headache? Check. Dry mouth? Check. Upset stomach? Check. Hooves? Uhm, that one is new.

Hi, I'm Bruce and I'm 32. Currently, I'm in a light blue Earth Pony foal's body no one has ever seen before. The rest of Equestria thinks I'm 9 and something really traumatic happened to me. It doesn't help I swear like a sailor and I could really go for a smoke right about now. I just hope that the Everfree Forest, rampaging monstrosities, evil dark abominations against God and the Cutie Mark Crusaders don't kill me before I have just one last drag.

Oh, and ponies are hella creepy when you really think about it. Geez.

A little comedy side project. EDIT: HAHA Main project. More characters to be added if I get that far. Categories might be refined as I write. Entire thing is unplanned except vaguely. Don't Expect excessive cursing to be written out, just hinted at. Oh, and as the character is a 30-ish year old in the body of a 9 year old, sexual jokes might exists but sex itself will not occur.

Special thanks to user Momomojito for the awesome-tastic picture! First fanart, I'm so HAPPY. I've gotten more since then! I should collect it all here. Collected!

TTS Reading of the entire fiction: Courtesy of the FanFiction Reader on Youtube.

Character List: Courtesy of TruthHut (A work in progress)

Handy is not a happy man at the best of times.

He was even less happy to find himself in an alien world that offended the very laws of physics and got injured for his own stubborn refusal to accept the obvious path fate had apparently laid out for him.

For his trouble he is now on a journey, with the long term goal of finding his way back home, only to find himself involved in plots and machinations so far above his head and cares that he quickly becomes a pawn in a game played by powers who care not for his well-being.

Quite like his life back on Earth if you think about it.

Needless to say, Handy does not care for any of it. He is much more preoccupied with the more immediate and pressing mundane concerns of day to day life a human needs to worry about while in Equestria.

Obtaining a new pair of shoes for example.

All this and one almighty hangover, what's the worst that could happen?

Rated teen for harsh language and minor violence

Proofread by JBL, Jude and Usurper

Twilight Sparkle has never seen the need to venture into the realms of Humanity, but when Pinkie Pie receives six invitations the grand opening of her sister's fine dining restaurant in Singapore, she swallows her apprehension and takes the plunge into the wondrous magical void that is the human's domain. A world of steel, glass and machines that defy the very laws of magic.

And stranger still, are the ponies that make their livelihoods amidst the madness. Pinkie's sister amongst them.

Yet, even for such a foreign land, the troubles of home are deceptively close indeed.

Over a millenium ago, a creature was dug up beneath the Crystal Empire— a sleeping god. But as all shall know, a sleeping god still dreams.

Holy bugger I hit the featured box, 12/09/2014. Also, turns out I have a TV TROPES page . http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/Millennium

I would like to thank the brilliant C-Conztantine on Deviantart for his allowing me to use his fantastic illustration.

Crossover with The Avengers

9.12.2014- Cripes, I made the featured box?! Thank you all so much!

After his actions in New York, Odin hands down his sentence for Loki's crimes. Instead of execution or being locked in the Asgardian dungeon for the rest of his natural life, Loki will instead be sent to live with his granddaughters, to learn the virtues he is so desperately lacking.

Loki didn't know he had granddaughters. He had even forgotten he had a son in the first place.

And to make things even more complicated, said granddaughters are magical pony princesses in a magical land of talking, technicolor ponies called Equestria.

Yeah. Things are gonna get interesting.

After an alarming trip through a black hole in his fridge, Nigel M. Chalmers finds himself in a colourful peaceful country populated with a throng of friendly ponies... in the body of one of their nation's worst enemies. Of course it all goes to pot.

Follow him as he attempts to make sense of his new body, makes new friends and maybe even finds love...
Or not, after all this is Nigel we're talking about, all he's probably going to do is insult everyone and drive everyone insane.

Follow the gripping tale of action, comedy and romance.

Will Nigel make it back home in time for the office Christmas party? Will he avoid a painful death at the hooves of multi-coloured Equines? Will he finally be re-united with his beloved cheesecake?

You can only find out by reading this fic, so fasten your seatbelts and prepare to get wrecked.

Edit: Well, someone did a great reading of the first chapter, thanks to KaBar41 for the reading.
The Reading of Chapter One

I wrote this fic as a side project to Nigel M Chalmers, Emperor and saviour-or-destroyer to try my hand at a transformation story. To all of you who hate the whole "Turned into a pony and makes friends with everyone" I'm going to shatter your misgivings like 300 kilograms of armoured Biped smashes a window. There will be violence in later chapters but for now it's just pure comedy.

Featured on the 12/5/2014

Coverart done by Avatar of Madness

In the dark depths of Asgard, Loki Odinson sits, punished for his crimes on Midgard.

But new developments cause the wayward son of Odin to escape his prison and seek refuge across the Nine Realms in a land very much unlike any he has ever seen: Equestria.

While Loki makes a new life for himself in Equestria, Thor must once again gather together the Avengers and give chase to his escaped kin. But will the lies Loki feeds his newfound friends send the Elements of Harmony on a collision course with the protectors of Earth?

(Cover image by the wonderful Reiduran)

In Equestria's far future, one thousand and five years after the return, a dysfunctional group of argumentative ponies must quest to defeat the most dangerous enemy of Equestria to ever live; the malevolent Lord Second, one of the only known members of the race of elder gods known as the humans, and the ancient cult who worships him, the Brotherhood of Man.

An over-the-top surrealist comedy, with slight serious elements. Expect a steady decline into insanity.

Cancelled, due to reasons of severe cranial trauma

Now with audio reading and prequel story, Shades of Grey, by Draven Eclipse.

A long time has passed since Twilight and her friends first discovered the Elements of Harmony, and she has since become a full-fledged alicorn princess. In that time, she's done many great things.

But the one thing she hasn't done is tested herself. She's never seen the full extent of her powers.

Growing bored of Equestria, and seeking the ultimate challenge, Twilight decides to see just how powerful she really is by attempting the impossible.

Creating her own world.

Idea taken from a brainstorming thread and used with permission from Kapuchu.

Special thanks to Conicer for the epic cover art!

After GLaDOS is uploaded into a potato battery, Wheatley humiliates the AI even further by uploading her into a project that was abandoned by Aperture a long time ago. In the blink of an eye, she finds herself in a deformed body of flesh and bone that resembles an equine, and is just as powerless as one too. It comes with all of its needs and bodily functions as well. To make matters worse, she's trapped in a land full of insufferable creatures that just want to make 'friends.' Will GLaDOS' cold, sadistic sense of humor and morals get the better of the ponies? Or will they peel away the once artificial being's metallic shell and find that there's a softer side? Probably not, but it's worth a try.

Story Theme: Tyler Bates - I Love You (Watchmen OST)

Thanks to Meeester, MrJoshy, and funkyferret for proofreading/reviewing.

Cover by Fedte16.