Oh to be Old Again

by Minalkra


OH MAN FAKE CHAPTER SPOILERS FOR THE REAL ONE

"Oh yeah, this was a great idea," Bruce grumbled as he slunk along the wall. Ahead of him, two Crusaders were trying their hardest to remain as 'sneaky' as possible - with only some success. Behind him, Applebloom pressed flush against the wall. Despite the overdone 'sneaking' act, the hallways around them seemed oddly deserted. Where once there was a bustle of activity, now it was as if all the doctors and nurses had disappeared with only a single bored looking nurse playing solitaire at one of the many stations to remind the four-some of foals that the building wasn't abandoned. "Remind me why I'm out here instead of still in bed?"

"Oh, this is a great idea," Applebloom exclaimed, oddly accent-less and loudly enough to make Bruce jump. "Enjoy the situation. I mean, I'm such a gigantic Southern stereotype, I'm surprised that I haven't been shown to be barehooved and pregnant with my own brother's child! Embrace the nonsensical - death would be a sweet release!"

"She's right, you know?" Scootaloo stomped her hooves down and cracked her neck as the head of the nurse popped up from behind her, confusion and a slight amount of irritation evident. With a stretch, Scootaloo ignored the adult-mare that was staring at her and continued. "Hell, I'm painted as an orphan so many times I can't even keep track. And don't get me started on the whole 'lesbian child-thing' authors stick me and Rainbow in."

"Indeed," Sweetie Belle huffed, "but at least the pair of you are given the appropriate level of intellect in regards to your characters. At the behest of one overtly idiotic director, I act confused on a simple word once - once! - and am forever to be branded as the 'slow Crusader.' How is that fair I rhetorically ask the lesser minds that surround me?"

"Girls," the nurse piped up, a smirk gracing her face at the blatant hatred burning behind Bruce's eyes as he grit his teeth at his fellow leads, "let's stay on script, ok? Minalkra needs to get this chapter out soon and this isn't helping."

The grumbled acceptance of their predestined roles filled the air. Suddenly, Minalkra's head popped out of the dimensional rift causing everypony to jump.

"Damn right! Ok, guys and gals - Cutie Mark Crusaders Escape Artists, Scene Two Take Twenty Two! Action!"

"Really? At least let us get back into position you jerk." Bruce stuck his tongue out at the author as he trotted back into position. "Ah-hem. Let's see ... Oh yeah, this was a great idea."