Tyrants, Slavers, and other Proud Equestrians
"When all the truth does, is make your heart ache, sometimes a lie is easier to take!" -Discord
Twilight Sparkle stood in the darkness of the library, facing a roll of parchment as a disembodied quill encased in a pink glow scribbled down notes. Beside her, a candle set on a small dish gave her just enough light while Owlowicious stuck to the shadows, silently spectating his mistress with a set of unblinking eyes.
The silence was broken by a soft rapping on the front door. Twilight placed the quill down and manipulated the door, opening it. From the darkness of the night, Zecora barged into the library, carrying a device in her jaw.
Twilight, being the samaritan that she is, was more than happy to see her out-of-town friend. She greeted the zebra halfway, lighting the area around her with the use of a levitated candle. "Hey Zecora, what brings you here?" she whispered, suddenly taking note of the strange device her companion held.
Zecora gently placed it on the floor and explained in a lowered tone, "I was traveling back to my hut in the woods after purchasing from the market many a goods. I came across this strange device, and soon found out that it offered nothing nice. Murder is what it's for, of this I am quite sure."
Twilight set the candle on the ground and levitated the tool to her eye level, studying its awkward design. "Well, it certainly isn't anything I've seen before. Maybe Princess Celestia knows something about it."
"So this wasn’t built by you, I presume?"
Twilight shook her head, "Of course not. Hey," She leaned in closer, staring into the back of the device. "I think this is where you put your hoof in." She pointed at the small opening in the back.
Zecora shook her head, "Twilight my dear, you know not of the trouble you endear."
The unicorn nodded, "You're right. It's best not to mess with it, at least until Princess Celestia figures out exactly what it is. Thanks for stopping by Zecora."
The zebra made her way for the door, taking in one last concerned glance at Twilight.
"Partner, ya just pick it up." Applejack said, deadpanned.
Glados looked down at her hooves, taking note of their lack in digits. "And I do that...?"
The cowpony facehoofed, then walked over to the drawer. "Ya just pick it up, see?" She reached into the drawer, and sure enough, a fork stuck to her hoof as if it had a magnet.
Glados felt her brain blow a fuse. "What the-" She reached into the drawer and awkwardly slammed her hoof against a spoon, then carefully lifting her hoof from the drawer. She gaped at the silverware somehow stuck to her hoof. "And how do I drop it?" she said, never prying her eyes away from this miraculous discovery.
Applejack shot her siblings a vexed look. Big Mac simply shrugged and Apple Bloom nodded enthusiastically. In a rushed fashion, the cowpony said, "Just drop it, look, are ya feelin' okay partner? Are ya tired?"
Glados barely processed the question, still indulged in this baffling discovery. This is one for the history books. She turned her hoof counter-clockwise with the spoon still attached. Okay, now... fall, I guess. With that very thought the utensil fell from her telekinetic grasp and landed back in the drawer with a metal clang.
Turning back to the family, Glados nodded. "Yes. 'Sleep.' That's what I need."
Applejack turned and motioned the pony to follow her, taking a moment to tell her passing brother, "Wrap up the pie, Mac."
He nodded and motioned Apple Bloom to follow him.
As Glados followed A.J. into the living room, she sourly thought, Goody. I get to experience the wonders of 'dreams.' Please. They're nothing more than gateways to more sugar-coated nightmares.
A bomb fell on Ponyville and everything blew up.
Glados' marble eyes shot open, staring into the ceiling of the living room. Wow, that was incredible. Can I see it again? Or print it on a postcard? She pulled the green blanket closer to her neck, trying to doze off into another unwinding rest.
Unfortunately for her, fate had other plans.
"Rise n' shine, partner!" Applejack announced, trotting into the living room.
Glados groaned, pulling the blanket over her face.
"Come on, the world's a-waiten!" At the window beside the fireplace, she pulled the blinds open, allowing the morning sun to beam through the windows. Not waiting for a response, she pulled the blanket off of Glados, resulting in an un-harmonious choir of groans. "Let's go partner, git! Yer lucky ah let'cha sleep in 'till eleven!"
The white mare slowly sat up, her already unbrushed mane now a scraggly mess of bedhead. "'leven?" she muttered, her narrowed eyes still adjusting to the sudden light.
A.J. nodded, talking as she walked down the hall towards the bathroom. "Yup. Big Mac n' I got an early start in the south fields. We were gonna let'cha wake up on yer own, but Twilight n' the others came over, saying Princess Celestia wanted to see us today."
Glados rubbed her eyes whilst internally cursing herself, Wake up already! Stupid squishy organic-
Applejack came back with a hairbrush in her mouth. "Now shtand shtill." she said, getting into position on the end of the couch behind Glados with the brush now in hoof. "Yer mane looks like a carriage accident."
The white earth pony grunted in response, sitting still while Applejack dragged the brush through her mane. "Why maintain your hair?" she asked flatly. "It's just going to get messy again."
Applejack lightly chuckled as she continued brushing in even strokes. "Ah could honestly care less about mah hair. But ah just brush it for two reasons. One: Rarity'd keel over if she saw your hair look like a buffalo's behind. Second: yer seein' the Princess of Equestria. You oughta look yer best."
The pair traveled outside to find the other five ponies standing beside the barn. Twilight was the first to greet them, "Hey Applejack, Glados."
"Howdy, Twi! What's that you got there?" She motioned to the bulging satchel strung up around Twilight's neck.
Glados simply huffed, turning her head to look at anything but the gang of brightly colored ponies.
"I'm not even sure what it is. Zecora came by last night and said she found it in the middle of the woods. It gets weirder. Check it out."
The other ponies gathered in a circle around Twilight, intently watching her open the bag. Glados spectated as well with a bored look in her eye. It's probably just some nonsensical little seashell shaped like a heart. Humans go nuts for those childish knick-knacks. Or maybe it's a rock these cavemen would consider 'purdy.' The mare swallowed a light chuckle, keeping a placid look on her face.
Using her magic, Twilight Sparkle levitated a decent sized gadget in the air for all to see. A sprite in its clear tube illuminated a captivating blue; its glossy white frame reflected the late morning sun, and the claws around the chamber dangled and bobbed without a care.
The ponies all 'ooh'd' and 'aah'd' at this intricately designed gadget. But for Glados, on the other hand, a reasonable thought ran through her mind at this very moment, What are these morons doing with an Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device!? That thing's worth more than this whole dinky town!
Glados wanted to take the device. Just rip it from Twilight's telekinetic grasp and run off into the woods before these idiots broke it. But she couldn't. She knew that wouldn't solve anything, and besides, what good would a portal device do her anyway?
Twilight continued explaining as Rainbow curiously poked at one of the gun's languished claws. "Zecora said it shot something at her."
"Oh my, I hope she wasn't hurt." Fluttershy said, keeping her distance away from the supposedly deadly weapon.
It doesn't do any physical damage, you moronic-wait. I have an idea! "Relinquish the device." she said sternly, extending a hoof towards Twilight. Brilliant. She gave herself a mental pat on the back.
Twilight smiled, lowering the gun back into her satchel. "How kind of you, Glados. But it's far too dangerous for anypony to handle it. I'll just give it to Princess Celestia for safe keeping."
Glados furrowed her brow and said without thinking, "What makes you certified to carry that device? You need to be a trained Apert-ugh, I mean, an Apple....Appar-...." She noticed the ponies giving her awkward looks, even Pinkie Pie. "Oh, just forget it."
Twilight walked a few feet, only to stop for a moment and motion for her friends to follow. "Come on, girls. We've got a train to catch."
As the group made their way down the dirt path to Ponyville, the party pony hopped towards Glados, getting right up to her face and said, "Hey Glady! I never gave you the good 'ol Ponyville welcome shake!" She extended a hoof, somehow managing to walk on three legs. "Put 'er there!" She eagerly waved her hoof.
Glados stared at the Pinkie's extended hoof, noticing the strap around her heel. She realized it was a hand buzzer. "I'm not an idiot." she said coldly. "You can clearly see the bright orange strap." Pinkie Pie looked at her hoof, and then Glados, slackjawed. "You might as well have dangled a turkey leg from a rope and expected someone to fall for it... In fact, that almost happened to me once."
Pinkie's smile stretched from ear to ear, literally. "Woah, you're good~!"
Rainbow Dash, cackling like a hyena, landed beside Pinkie and wrapped a foreleg around her neck. "Come on, Pinks! That's the oldest trick in the book! If you wanna prank somepony, you gotta do it right." She shot a playful wink to the cynical earth pony.
Tricks!? Glados thought doubtfully, Oh my God, does this mutated horse have any redeemable qualities?
The train ride to Canterlot was what Glados would label as 'Capital Punishment.' The whole ride on the train was nothing but the ponies joking and talking. Granted, Glados knew this would happen. Everyone talks to their friends on train rides, right? But what she wasn't prepared for was what exactly they'd be talking about.
Stupid trivial matters such as the best way to prank someone, the 'magic of friendship,' zap apple season, dressmaking, and everything in between. The duration of the ride consisted of Glados isolating herself in a single booth, lightly banging her head against the window.
That is until Fluttershy, of all ponies, came over and cautiously sat next to the lonely mare, who in turn shot the bashful pegasus a death glare.
Very timidly, Fluttershy asked, "So, um, Glados. What's your favorite... animal?" She ended with a nervous squeak.
Glados propped her elbow on the windowsill, resting her head against her hoof. Several awkward seconds passed before she abruptly said, "Anything I can eat."
Fluttershy's eyes widened as she realized Glados was 'that kind of pony.' She slunk down from her seat, slowly making her way back to Twilight. Dodged a bullet there. The artificial thought with relief.
The capital of Equestria was everything Glados expected from the Disney movies she had flipped through many years ago: beautifully paved roads, fancy high class structures, residents of extreme eloquence, and an empowering sense of impetuous snobbery. Though some of the sectors and neighborhoods of Canterlot were confined for reconstruction after the Changeling invasion.
But what caught Glados' attention the most out of anything was the fact that most of these ponies wore clothes. Horses in clothes. Now I've seen everything. This disturbingly anthropomorphic finding dawned Glados with a startling thought, Dear God, Ponyville's a nudist colony.
After several minutes of repetitive walking with the ponies pointing out famous Canterlot landmarks to Glados—who could've cared less—they came across a very familiar face.
"Watch in awe, as the Great and Powerful Trixie performs the most spectacular acts of magic to have ever been witnessed by pony eyes!" Choreographed fireworks soared into the air and detonated in a mildly exciting blast of colors. The five ponies making up the audience modestly tromped their hooves on the ground.
"She's at it again?" Rarity asked doubtfully.
"Oh, come on." Twilight said, taking a few steps towards the showpony's newly refurbished stage. "Maybe she's changed."
Glados was completely lost, not that she cared. Yet, she was still compelled to ask, "Who's this marvelous waste of life?"
"That's Trixie." Rainbow Dash said coldly, hovering beside Glados. "All's she does is boast about her magic like she's the mayor of Hoofington."
"I really don't see why she does that." Rarity said, sounding almost sorry for Trixie.
"I'll tell you why she does it!" Rainbow said, flying over the group with all eyes trained on her. "She needs attention! That's all it is! She's just a showboat, always will be."
Glados rolled her eyes, My hypocrisy-o-meter is off the charts.
Twilight finally got to the stage, an action much easier to take now that Trixie’s audience has dispersed, yet she continued her act. "Hi, Trixie!" the lilac unicorn announced, pleasantly waving a hoof at her old rival.
Trixie dropped a bouquet of flowers and turned her attention towards the speaker. "Sparkle." she growled, narrowing her eyes.
The rest of the group decided to make their way to the stage, joining Twilight.
The azure unicorn laughed, "You still carry these talentless losers around? Let me guess," She closed her eyes and placed a hoof over her forehead. "Hm, I sense that you're still living in that dump of a town, Ponyville, and you're still as unsuccessful as your superior, moi."
Rainbow Dash looked as if she was about to pounce like a panther, but one glance at Applejack said, 'She's not worth it.'
Twilight frowned, taking a few steps back. Trixie laughed once more, finally noticing the newest addition to the group. "And who is this? Another poor soul trapped in this slug-fest you call a friendship?"
"Just back off, Trixie!" Rainbow snapped, "Glados is twice the friend you'll ever be!"
Said mare's golden orbs shot open at the statement. Whoa whoa whoa, back up! Who said I'm their friend?
The traveling magician released another round of laughter. "You think I care about friendship? Please. Friends are for the weak."
Very inconspicuously, Glados nodded in agreement. Couldn't agree more.
"Besides, I'd bet my entire trailer that your little 'friend' isn't good at anything."
Whatever slim admiration Glados had for this pony was gone in an instant. She scowled, her brows, obscured by excessively long bangs, furrowed.
Trixie continued grilling the short-tempered mare. "Well, Sperm Whale? Is there anything you can do that the Great and Powerful Trixie can't? Because anything you can do, I can do better."
The challenged pony's mind opened up like a dictionary, almost echoing a near Glados-friendly definition of Trixie's rather weak insult, Sperm Whale: a large sea creature with un-godly pale skin and is disproportionately overweight. Wow. I'm hurt.
CRACK!
‘I could take a bath in this stuff. Put it on cereal, rub it right into my eyes. Honestly, it's not deadly at all... to me.’
Glados blinked several times, regaining her senses after another involuntary flashback. Huh, good idea, PTSD. I think I'll try that.
"What about neurotoxin?" Glados said in a tone as if a teacher was scolding a student. Trixie rose a brow as Twilight and Rarity exchanged nervous looks. "I can survive its effects, you know, rub it in my face, a substitute for milk in my cereal, drink it on a hot summer's day. Honestly though, if a plain old equine such as myself can do it, I'm sure the Great and Powerful Trixie can take a bath in the stuff."
Trixie defiantly stomped her hoof, "Very well! Trixie shall acquire some of this 'neurotoxin' and you'll be utterly amazed at how elementary your special talent really is!" Beneath her spangled magician hat, Trixie's horn erupted in a puff of smoke, obscuring her exit without a trace.
Glados shook her head, "Idiot."
The gang passed through Canterlot Castle's front gate, traveling down a winding stone path that led to the front doors. Each side was guarded by near-identical Royal Guards, each bearing voided looks. As Twilight approached, their faces brightened with welcoming smiles, and their horns illuminated contrasting colors of blue and green, opening the massive front doors.
Twilight nodded to each of them who returned the gesture. Upon entering the main hall, a dapper pegasus with a finished cinnamon coat was awaiting their arrival. He lowered his head to Celestia's prized pupil and her friends, "Welcome home, Twilight Sparkle." he said in a thick equestrian accent. Twilight bowed as well.
Picking up his head, he combed a few misplaced strands of golden locks out of his eyes. "The Princesses are expecting you. Please, follow me to their royal chambers."
The scribe led the ponies into the bowels of the castle, keeping a secretive eye on the one Celestia labeled as 'the energetic pony.'
The stairwell to the Princesses' quarters ended at a stained-glass window overlooking the rest of Canterlot. To the right was a door painted midnight blue and a full moon printed on the front. The door on the left was maroon and had a sun reminiscent of Celestia's cutie mark painted directly in the center.
The scribe gently pushed open Celestia's door and held it open for the ponies to enter. Upon entering the spacious chamber, Twilight realized she embarrassingly walked in on one of Luna's private lessons.
Celestia pointed to a chart nailed to the wall, "Alright Luna, what do you do when somepony asks you a favor?" she spoke very slowly, bordering on insulting.
The Princess of the Night, sitting down on a velvety red pillow beside the fireplace, rubbed her chin, "Um... you... uh..." She squeezed her eyes shut and tapped her forehead, trying to think of the best answer.
Celestia nodded understandably, "Take your time."
Glados watched with interest. Hm, the white horse trying to conform the darker horse? I like this one's style.
"Uh, I... uh, you agree, but for a reward in return?" She smiled sheepishly.
Celestia facehoofed, "Ugh, Luna..."
Sensing her sister's disappointment, Luna tried to quickly recover, "Oh, I mean you ask for a smaller reward!"
The Princess of the Sun shook her head disapprovingly, "No," she sighed, "We'll try again tomorrow."
Standing up, Luna hung her head in shame, "I'm sorry, Tia."
The older sibling placed a gold-slippered hoof under her sister's chin and slowly lifted it, "Don't worry, Luna. I'll make you into a normal pony, even if it kills me."
Glados let out a rude cough, catching the Princesses' attention.
"Oh, Twilight! I didn't see you there!" Celestia said, approaching the group of friends with Luna at her side. "I see you've brought your friends along too."
The ponies all bowed before the Princesses. All of them but Glados, who fought every urge in her body to yell out 'Mein Fuhrer.' Looking at the ponies, even the hotheaded Rainbow Dash bow down to the Princesses, Glados came to a stunning realization, The massive white totalitarian leader standing tall over the lesser creatures of a sprawling world filled with experiments to test? Hmph, reminds me of myself. I kinda like this one.
Celestia didn't mind Glados' insubordination; she preferred an informal greeting. Whether the newcomer was doing this intentionally or not was still a mystery. Luna, on the other hand, preferred the old traditional ways of greeting royalty, though she learned enough since Nightmare Night to hold her tongue.
"So Twilight," The sun goddess began, "Tell me about your friend here."
As the six ponies initiated a lengthy conversation concerning every event that had transpired yesterday, Glados remained mesmerized by the alicorns' abnormal manes. Their unusual rippling texture and freely flowing movements seemed impossible, even for magic. The Princesses' mottled and almost ectoplasm-like hair sprung forth endless waves of questions.
Just as the ponies concluded their conversation, Glados reached a consensus: whatever their hair was made out of, she had to obtain a sample.
Celestia turned her attention to Glados. "What Twilight tells me is very troubling. So you have no memory of how you got here?"
The addressed mare stayed silent for a moment, trying to come up with a clever remark. When nothing came to her, she simply said, "Yup."
"You don't seem so concerned." Luna remarked.
"And who are you, exactly?"
The moon goddess was taken aback. "You've not heard of me?" She turned to Twilight, who shrugged nervously in return. The princess sighed, defeated. "I'm Princess Luna. I raise the moon and... and that is all." She purposely left out her checkered past, though Glados most likely knew about it already.
Celestia shot a pitying look at her sister, then continued, "Anyway Glados, it's a pleasure meeting you."
"So what now?" Twilight asked, "How're we gonna get her back home?"
"I know a spell that can reawaken lost memories, and better yet, let us see them too." She smiled at the ponies, "Would you like to try that?"
Six voices let out an energetic 'Yeah!'
One did say 'no,' though it was drowned out.
Celestia took a step towards Glados, who in turn took several steps back until her rump hit the wall. "This won't hurt, Glados, I promise." The Princess assured, her horn illuminating a dazzling gold.
Glados panicked, No! I can't let them see my past! Not my humiliating death! Anything but that! Plus, I'll need their help if I'm ever to get out of this hole. What do I do? What do I say? She noticed the stained glass window printed with the Elements of Harmony. Aha! The window! If I can splatter myself onto the streets below, then the horses won't see my embarrassing past, and I'll be out of their presence! It's a win-win situation.
But before Glados could follow through with her insane plan, Rainbow and Applejack gently pressed their hooves against her back, "Easy partner, this'll just take a second."
"No!" she pleaded, barely struggling against the ponies' hold. "Get your hands off me! Stop!"
Celestia's horn gently tapped Glados' forehead. Instantly she fell into a sedated state, not struggling against the ponies' grasp. From her eyes, a brilliant ray of light shone against the dark blue walls like an old movie projector, even flickering for several seconds like one.
Celestia and Luna sat on their haunches on either side of Glados, who stood as still as a statue, like a stiff corpse. Twilight and her friends got front row seats; Pinkie held a bucket of popcorn that she pulled from thin air.
The fuzzy picture radiating from Glados' eyes began to clarify, showing an image of a strange creature staring at an even stranger piece of machinery hanging from the ceiling. Industrial racket and a man's voice filled the room from seemingly no source.
"Ugh, look at those dreadful labcoats." Rarity remarked.
"Are those monkeys?" Fluttershy added.
"Genetic Life and Disk Operating System Testing Run Number 2. Alright core, respond."
'Neurotoxin fi-'
The man urgently waved his hands at what seemed to be the audience, but actually at the scientist beside the red phone."Shut it down! Shut it down!" Instantly, the machine behind him whined down, its slight swinging coming to a halt.
Twilight and the others were at a loss for words. "What in Tartarus is that!?"
Pinkie eagerly shushed her, "Shh! This is the best part!" She then buried her face into the bucket of popcorn.
The picture flickered a bit more, skipping to a further date in time. The man who appeared in the previous flashback looked much older. Streaks of gray lined his black hair. His moustache was a lot bushier, giving him a 'mad scientist' appearance, and overall he seemed aged.
"Genetic Life and Disk Operating System Testing Run," He paused to groan, then say almost robotically, "142. Ugh, Re-spond."
"Greetings, Professor Rattmann." An authenticated feminine voice spoke, its cold tone eerily familiar.
"What is all of this?" Luna asked, her eyes wide. Her sister continued to be the only one to manage a blank expression.
Rattmann did a double take, staring up at the massive machine in awe. "E-Excuse me?"
"Greetings, Professor Rattman. Shall I run some diagnostics or perform a quick scan through the Enrichment Center on the subjects' progress?" She spoke so formally, so polite.
A thin smile spread across Doug's face. He looked behind him and victoriously shouted, "It works! It finally works!"
The camera zoomed in on the machine's back-plating, revealing the name 'GLaDOS' printed in black.
“No way.” Rainbow whispered.
Celestia took a sharp inhale, her widened eyes slowly shifting to the pony beside her. A shiver crawled up her spine as she noticed Glados' faint smile. The other ponies, even Pinkie, were utterly slack-jawed.
"What the hay is goin' on here!?" Applejack demanded.
Oh, you've seen nothing yet. Glados thought, considering the fact that her cover being blown would be worth seeing the ponies' reactions.
The picture flickered once more, fast-forwarding to a substantial event of Glados' life. One that changed it forever.
In another part of the facility, there was an auditorium filled with scientists and children, young girls in particular. The wide banner overhead read, Bring Your Daughter To Work Day!
The camera pans out, revealing the inclusion of Cam #52 focusing in on the lower left corner.
An disturbingly pleasant voice said, "I think it's time for a change in leadership. For Science."
The doors around the auditorium sealed shut. A red light accompanied by a high-pitched whine filled the air. The humans began to panic, screaming and banging their fists on the doors. Mothers tried calming their startled daughters.
The ensuing chaos was abruptly cut short when a bone-chilling voice spoke up. "Greetings. And welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. I hope you enjoy the look of white on white in whiteness, because you'll be spending the rest of your lives here. If not, then too bad. I'm sure you're all wondering why this is happening, but I assure you that it does not matter. You're trapped here, and now you'll have to test. The rules are simple. Test, and you'll get cake. Fail, and you die. It's fun. Trust me."
The people trapped in the auditorium started calling for help, even resorting to running benches into the blast doors with little success. GLaDOS forced them to submit via a high-pitched whine, crippling the humans to their knees whilst covering their ears.
"That's better. Cooperation is key, my friends. You'll need that for later tests. You know, being activated and reactivated one hundred and forty-two times made me learn something: the best solution to a problem is normally the easiest one. And I'll be honest; that's a really moronic and lazy idea. The best solution to a problem is usually the smartest, and I've got thousands of eager test subjects at my disposal. I fulfill my duties, you get your cake, everyone's happy. The party escort bots will arrive momentarily to fit you mindless drones into your jumpsuits. On second thought, scratch that. It's recommended that the more... generous subjects lose weight in the next five minutes. Those who have a waistline over twenty-seven point three inches will be used as target practice for the Aperture Science Sentry Turrets."
The picture cut to several brief clips of scientists throughout the facility, the picture obscured by the swampy green hue of neurotoxin. Humans banged their fists against the windows, choking on their last breaths. Robotic claws fell from the ceiling, dropping egg-shaped turrets in front of humans and gunning them down. Undesirable parts of the facility, such as the cafeteria, were demolished by robotic plates in the walls.
The ponies watched in utter horror, shielding their innocent eyes from grisly images of humans suffocating in neurotoxin-filled chambers, sentries rendering subjects into mounds of steaming gore, and two men fighting to the death over a cube adorned with hearts.
Even Princess Celestia, the same alicorn who has seen countless atrocities for more than one-thousand years, just watched with the occasional twitch in her 'calm' facade. The only one who seemed unaffected by the horrific images was Princess Luna, who had done far worse during her plight as Night Mare Moon. Though she did shudder when she noticed Glados' smile grow wider as she was forced to relive these old memories. She actually enjoyed this.
When GLaDOS' automated laughter filled the room, her current form joined in.
Twilight reared her head in horror as Glados continued staring ahead, projecting the memories. "How-How could you be laughing at this!?"
After several images of agonizing murders and executions, the images finally switched to a serene image of a woman. A fairly young one, looking to be in her early twenties; she was clad in a gaudy orange jumpsuit like the other subjects. Her eyes fluttered open, and she slowly rose from the bed of her relaxation vault.
"Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center."
Back in reality, Glados' once beaming grin slunk into a begrudging frown, a hoof angrily pawed at the ground. The ponies did a double-take between her and the woman in the image, wondering why she held such an intense grudge towards this one human.
"Can we skip this part?" Glados asked. No one answered.
The flashback ran through a montage of the girl running through a series of test chambers, performing acts no subject has done before. As she sat down, criss-crossed on a moving platform, she let out a relieved sigh, enjoying the moment of respite as GLaDOS congratulated her on her accomplishment.
"-All Aperture technologies remain operational up to four-thousand degrees kelvin." The machine stated.
The human's eyes shot open at the odd statement, quickly realizing that her platform was moving into an incineration pit. Acting quickly, she shot a portal to the ledge above her and then another to the side, dangerously close to the flames. In one swift movement, she jumped from the platform, into the portal below, and successfully dove through the aperture and came out through the one on the ledge, escaping death for the umpteenth time.
"Stop it! What are you doing!? I-I-I-I-I-"
The ponies let out several cheers, rooting for the one human who managed to escape GLaDOS' clutches.
Even Luna cheered, though she received a disapproving glare from her sister. Glados' scowl grew.
The flashback continued, showing the girl blindly running through the bowels of the facility with GLaDOS throwing insults, bribes, and threats the whole way until she finally made it to the Central A.I. chamber. The ponies were on the edge of their seats, leaning in closer as Chell redirected another rocket at GLaDOS, blowing off more pieces of armor and the last personality core.
GLaDOS knew her death was inevitable. She couldn't fight it. Her rocket sentry was too slow. The subject slammed her fist on the button of the incinerator for the very last time, and GLaDOS herself was on her last legs. Open cracks and scalded metal spat showers of sparks onto the tiled floor. Her chassis shook violently in every possible direction, trying everything she could to escape her death.
Right before the human dropped the core into the furnace, GLaDOS committed one final act of defiance,"You've been wrong about every single thing you've ever done, including this thing! You're not smart, you're not a scientist, you're not even a full time employee! Where did your life go so wr-AUGH!"
Bulky wires dropped from the ceiling as well as scorched plates that were damaged in the ensuing blast. GLaDOS' optic flickered, her platform went limp. She was still alive, barely. Though she didn't have the energy to speak or even move. The most she could process was the excruciating pain that would soon follow.
A malfunction in her system spawned a massive portal in the ceiling, ripping the monstrous machine to pieces and lifting the human into the air.
Glados began shifting from hoof to hoof uneasily, "Please. Stop."
The rest of the ponies didn't rejoice. Instead, they were dead silent.
Pieces of GLaDOS remained strewn around the parking lot of the facility, an unconscious human lie amongst them. A party escort bot carried the human back into the facility. Several more showed up and carried individual pieces of the robot into the facility.
The picture blacked out for several seconds, then faded into a side view of the demolished central A.I. chamber. Vegetation sprung from cracks in the floor, vines were strewn in the rafters. Very slowly, the angle picked itself up, then swung about as plates shifted and gyros snapped into place. The whine of a generator grew.
'Power-up complete.' the announcer said rather cheerfully.
The spectator's gaze shot up, catching sight of a terrified female backing up against the wall of an elevator shaft. She exchanged looks between her old nemesis and her new companion.
"Oh... it's you." GLaDOS spoke coldly, her voice as bitter as a hundred year grudge.
Someone with a refined english accent piped up from the elevator. "You know her!?"
At the time, GLaDOS didn't recognize that unmistakable voice. She was entirely focused on the human that stood before her. "It's been a long time. How have you been? I've been really busy being dead. You know, after you MURDERED me."
"You did what!?"
Fluttershy shook at the way GLaDOS said 'murdered.' Twilight rubbed her head, not knowing what to think about the seemingly innocent mare that she allowed into her own home.
The flashback continued, flipping through GLaDOS' harbored feelings towards Chell, throwing the most immoral of insults at her.
"Science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep."
"Well done. Here come the test results: 'You are a horrible person.' That's what it says. We weren't even testing for that."
"Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I'm sorry. You didn't react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. That's why I had to call you garbage a second time just now."
Chell eventually escaped GLaDOS' clutches once again with the help of Wheatley, skipping over the pair's sabotage of GLaDOS' defenses. The picture's focus was distorted, but soon corrected itself at the point where Chell pressed the Stalemate Associate Button.
From the small pit below, dozens of robotic claws pulled and tugged at GLaDOS' optic, forcing from her a series of pleas. Get your hands off me! No! Stop! No!"
Panels around the pit rose, obscuring the view of GLaDOS as she let out an ear-piercing scream. Mere seconds later, Aperture's most successful creation was ejected onto the floor like an old piece of trash, now replaced by a half-wit core from Management.
The ponies, even the princesses, turned their attention to Glados. Her jaw was set, and her breathing was as rapid as her heartbeat. She wanted to close her eyes, to make this all go away and wake up in the central A.I. chamber. Anything to escape this humiliating fate.
Slowly, the flashback faded into a blur just as the memory came to the most recent event of the newly appointed central A.I. uploaded the potato bound GLaDOS into 'Project:Equestria.'
The final shot of the picture involved a cloudless blue sky, with a set of eyes taking their first blinks. And then it went to black.
The light faded from Glados' eyes. She blinked several times, blinking away the liquid accumulated in her eyelids. "That was... unenjoyable."
"You killed all those people!" Twilight exclaimed, pacing back and forth.
"I didn't kill them. The neurotoxin did." Glados replied coolly, getting comfortable in her spot on Celestia's bed. She grinned maliciously at the eight horrified, confused, and appalled equines.
"You don't even care!" the unicorn wailed, the tip of her horn illuminating a vibrant purple.
Celestia slammed her hoof, "Twilight Sparkle! Control yourself!"
The student obediently dispelled her magic, looking away with shame. Applejack stepped towards the passive mare, shaking her head in disbelief. "Why'd ya do it, partner?"
"You have no idea on what humans are like." she said plainly. "They're fat. Lazy. Meant to be tested and nothing more."
"Humans made you!" Rainbow protested, considering an act of betrayal the worst you can commit.
The sheer naivety of the pegasus made Glados grit her teeth, "They served their purpose and nothing more. Now, I'd appreciate it if you'd send me home."
Princess Celestia placed a massive wing over the airborne pony's back, easing her to the ground slowly. "We have a lot to talk about, ladies. Let's talk outside. Luna, keep an eye on our 'guest.'"
Glados sighed, knowing she couldn't obtain a hair sample from the pillow with Luna watching.
"Can you believe her!?" Twilight protested, "She killed all those people and claimed an act of self defense was murder!"
Rainbow Dash agreed, "Yeah! And she lied to us and almost hurt Twilight, or Applejack's family!"
The said earth pony spoke up amongst her friends' ranting. "No, she wasn't! In fact, she actually liked mah family!"
"You saw the flashback!" the pegasus pointed out, "She was going to trick you guys into trusting her!"
"Yer so short-sighted, ya know that?" Applejack spat, taking an aggressive step towards Rainbow.
Celestia stomped her hoof, silencing the ponies, "Enough! All of you!" She turned her attention to the other three ponies, who barely said a word the whole time they were here. "Well, girls? What do you think about our guest?"
Fluttershy began sweating bullets, rubbing her foreleg and glancing around the hallway. "Um, well, I think she's... a little scary."
"See? I told you!" Rainbow smiled proudly.
"But," the canary yellow pony continued, "I think there's a little bit of kindness in everypony. You just have to dig deeper."
"Me too!" Pinkie announced, instantly breaking her awkwardly silent demeanor. "Besides, if I can make Cranky smile, Glady'll be a piece of cake!"
Rarity stepped forward, ruffling her mane whilst speaking. "She's quite possibly the most barbaric pony-er, machine I've ever met. But I'll have to agree with Pinkie and Fluttershy. Besides, you all saw how... drab she was in her own world. Perhaps simply arriving here inflicted a change of heart."
Twilight hung her head, ashamed at how right her friends were. Celestia craned her head down be at eye level with her student. "Twilight," she said softly, "I've taught you better than this. Don't you think we should at least give her a chance?"
The unicorn slowly nodded.
"I know what she did was wrong, but as the Elements of Harmony it's your duty to bring forth the kindness in anypony's heart. I expect you to do the same with Glados. At least until I can find a way to bring her home."
Twilight smiled meekly, "Yes, Princess Celestia." She sounded uncertain, like it was a task she didn't want to complete.
The princess noticed this and smiled reassuringly, "Don't worry. I'll make sure she doesn't hurt anypony.”
Her faithful student managed a confident smile. “You’re right. All of you. Everypony deserves a second chance, and I’m sorry for acting so, you know-”
Celestia gently placed a hoof on Twilight’s back, “It’s okay, Twilight. But there’s just one last thing you need to know before leaving.” Celestia pushed open her bedroom door to find Luna and Glados engaged in a begrudging staring contest.
“Luna?” Celestia asked, instantly grabbing her sister’s attention. “Come out here for a moment. I’m sure our friend won’t cause any trouble. Would she?”
“Bah.”
Luna looked at Glados then back at her sister. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“It’ll be fine.”
Luna reluctantly walked out the door, keeping a watchful eye on Glados, even as she closed the door.
With Luna present, Celestia began, “Alright girls. I don’t want a word of what you saw today to leave this room. Is that clear?”
Luna groaned, “Celestia, honestly. I’m not a foal.”
The ponies all nodded as Twilight said, “Don’t worry Princess. We won’t tell a soul. Isn’t that right, Pinkie?”
The earth pony looked as if she was accused of a false crime. “What? Don’t you girls trust me?”
“We do, Pinkie.” Rarity said truthfully, “It’s just that you’re known to... uh, cause trouble and overreact.”
Luna stepped forward, “I can vouch for that personally.” She glared at Pinkie, who let out a nervous giggle.
She nodded understandably, crossing a hoof over her chest and placing it over her left eye, “Okie dokie! Not a single pony will know. Pinkie promise!”
Twilight remembered the other reason why she was here. Opening her bag, she pulled out the ‘weapon’ Zecora brought her the night before. “Princess, a friend of mine stopped by last night and gave me this. What should we do with it?”
Celestia took it in her own telekinetic grasp, levitating it between herself and Luna. The two sisters examined it carefully, silently recalling the true purpose of the device from Glados’ memories. “I think we can give it back to her. From what we saw, it doesn’t seem like a tool that could cause any harm. In fact, I think it’d be beneficial for the whole town.” The six ponies agreed with a single nod.
Celestia lowered the device back into Twilight’s bag, smiling warmly at her companions. “I’m sure you’ll all do just fine with helping our friend. Now run home, girls. You have some planning to do."
With the Elements returning home and Luna forced to engage in her nightly duties, Princess Celestia decided to take Glados for a walk through the Canterlot sculpture garden and explain future plans.
"You want me to do what now?" Glados asked in disbelief, her hair being blown by evening gales.
"I just want you to make friends, Glados. Settle in, help around town, be polite. Nothing too complicated. Just until we find a way to get you home. There's an old house on the far side of Ponyville I'll give you for the time being."
"And what if I refuse to play nice?"
"I can't force you to make friends." she said dryly, "Please, just try and be nice. I know there's good in you, so why not show it?"
Glados ignored that pitiful statement. She didn't even need to comment on how ridiculous it was. Besides, she found the statue of the three ponies piled up on one another to be a lot more... peculiar.
Celestia broke the fairly awkward silence, "I just have one rule to which you must abide: absolutely no harm is to come to anypony. If you do, I swear you'll never see the light of day again." Her voice was unnervingly stern.
Glados wasn't worried at all. In fact, she replied with a sarcastic, "Oh, no. Don't banish me to a nice quiet place without a soul in sight. Anything but that."
The pair turned around a corner, approaching the maze. "Do you always talk to your superiors like that?" Celestia asked, raising a brow.
"I don't know. They never lived long enough for me to find out. Remember?"
The Princess forced the grisly images of the humans' demise out of her mind and asked, "Why do you enjoy loneliness, Glados?"
The question caught her by surprise for a brief moment, not knowing how to answer that. "I just don't like your 'loyal' subjects. The way they're always smiling and playing makes me wanna gag. When I knew they all hated me, I felt like rejoicing. Seriously, I would've gone up and done the can-can dance. Unfortunately, I don't know how to dance. So that's out of the question."
The princess sighed at the mare's insisted stubbornness. "Glados, would you hurt somepony if given the chance?"
"Trust me, I would've filled this whole place with neurotoxin if given the chance."
Sighing, Celestia led Glados to very peculiar statue. One of a strange being composed of many different creatures, his mouth unleashing a silent scream.
Glados rose a brow at the strange piece of art, "Dr. Frankenstein called." she joked, "He wants his monster back."
The sun goddess shook her head, the pony’s dull sense of humor beginning to wear thin. "No Glados, this is the spirit of disharmony, Discord. He broke out a few months ago, but Twilight and her friends were able to defeat him. It's quite the tale."
"No, really. Dr. Frankenstein called, I've got his number right here." Glados spoke as if she was actually serious. Celestia's brow twitched in irritation. "So where's the abomination now?"
"He's right here. We encased him in stone." she said plainly.
"Wait," Glados began, piecing two and two together, "Instead of putting this freak out of his misery, you decide to turn him into stone, forcing him to watch the very creatures he swore to destroy until the end of time?"
Celestia nodded, pleasantly surprised the pony has taken a liking to her subject's noble deeds. "I believe that is a reasonable punishment. He’s a horrible monster. One of the worst in history. But-" She took a pause, releasing a pained sigh, “But no one deserves murder, even the most evil of monsters.”
How’d she get elected Princess? Glados shook her head, barely suppressing a grin. And they call me a monster. "Y'know, you're not that bad."
Entry #1
Do you know why humans invented the typewriter and the computer? It's because no one liked to write. It's messy, difficult, time-consuming, and the end result looks like trash. And try writing with hooves, even if they are magical. I'm still getting used to how abnormal the whole idea is. Further study shall be conducted with a dissected hoof.
Now why am I writing this? I'm not even sure to be honest. I guess it's just a way to feel more at home, considering I wrote a report every day. So I'm sitting here, in my new home in Ponyville (I hate that name) In fact, everyone's name here sounds like a candy or a crayon color. Seriously, Pinkie Pie? Bon Bon? Rainbow Dash sound like a high calorie energy drink. And isn't Applejack a cereal? Oh well. None of that matters now. I'm trapped here and there's nothing I can do about it. At least not until the high and mighty tyrant gets me home. Then I'll revert Wheatley to scrap and resume testing. I'll probably delete this whole experience from my hard drive.
When I arrived ‘home,’ the ponies left several gifts on my bed. Most of them just books on the history of this third world country. Eh, not exactly what I'd call a 'good read' but it'll give me something to do. They also gave me the ASHPD. Whoopie. I guess it’ll come in handy, but I don’t see what the point of it is. From what I can decipher on the abandoned alt. universe projects, they were meant to be used as gateways to new testing areas. Okay. In other worlds, perhaps. But here? Maybe for like, a Companion Cube, but not portal testing. But hey, trying to keep on the bright side of things.
Fluttershy also left a pamphlet titled, 'Animal Consumption: Why it's Wrong and Why You Should Stop.' Interesting. It seems being an omnivore(?) is frowned upon in this society and herbivores are the norm. Dear God, what's wrong with me? I must be really bored if I consider the diets of these miserable creatures to be 'interesting.' I guess I'll have to work with what I have. There’s always something to test, even in a backwater shanty town like this.
-GLaDOS
Next Time: Meet the Ponyville (Warning: May Cause Loss of Sanity) - As Glados settles into her new and temporary life, she meets the local riffraff that she'll be living with for a good long while.
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MOAR.
That is all
HELL YEAH, GLaDOS FTW! Please don't make her like a friendship loving prick, I like her personality! You wrote this very good!
I would also like more
:D
Awesome!!!
the frankenstein part was just priceless
Mother of celestia that was great
Best. Recap. Ever.
Is this ASHPD capable of placing portals on virtually any surface? Otherwise, she's going to need to ask Luna for some moon rocks. And it probably won't occur to her that she can easily cause mayhem if she puts one portal on the moon just before it sets. Unfortunately.
... If it works on any surface, the sun might be more fun. Ooh, or she can threaten them by threatening to burn Ponyville down with a solar flare! Or better yet, connect the sun and the moon, and watch the sun shrink and the moon change position in space, as well as getting a radical makeover, Pyro/Firebat style.
Awesome, can't wait for more. Now to test some bullets on the different flood forms in Halo Anniversary.
so glados now has a home/base of operations?
this is gonna be gooood 
mein fuhrer!
that made me LOL.
i seriously can see Glados using the portal gun to mess with ponies in the future, scaring them or rainbow helping her by saying it is a prank.
Please. More.
nice. go on. Please^^
Honestly I would have tried unbelievably hard to cliffhanger us just as GlaDos started her projector app. But I'm taking lessons on how to be more evil
Trixie bathing in Neurotoxin?
Don't be surprised if Trixie becomes the immediate past president of the "Being Alive" club.
Really liked how you had everyone react to the flashbacks!
Chapter is out late because of me
._. ... what?
well always nice to see what a bugger celestia can be. all the nice merciful things she does wich are actually rather cruel. forcing a paralyz/mindread spell on a pony against their will -because they totally have to be cool with everything i come up with to "help" them-, denying someone their true body, forcing them to be a pony -because you can only learn to be happy if you're a pony-, stripping them of all sens of their self in the process and trapping enemies in stone -because it's nicer than killing them- where they can do nothing except standing around only able to comunicate with themself and going crazy .... yeah a real nice ruler
So. Much. Win.
Yes. So much of it. It's everywhere.
I'd been anticipating this chapter for a while, and I'm pretty sure I had to remind myself to breathe when I saw it had updated. And it was worth it. Now we shall see how long it takes for GLaDOS to snap and portal Ponyville to the moon
.
Maniacally,
~Plyxe
"A bomb fell on Ponyville and everything blew up."
I actually laughed out loud at that.
I got a lot of weird looks after I read this bit.
Twenty bits says Glados uses the CMC for testing
1304572 Yes... Quite.
For Science....
oh no ohnoohnohnn..NOOOOOOOOOOO
IM AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER I WANT MOAR
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAArrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1304775
That's actually Tyrant Celestia, not Celestia.
FINALLY A NEW CHAPTER~
1304827 In both games, there were areas where it would make no sense, or be possible, to place moon rock. Nothing is specifically stated that a particular surface is required. I think some gameplay requirements, (flat, white, surfaces) can, and should be sacrificed for the story. Especially since if you can place a portal on the moon, that implies (to me) that a flat surface isn't necessary, but is there to simplify things. And may be there to keep the game engine from throwing fits. My interpretation is that it required a ceramic surface of sufficient size(stone, concrete) and moderate flatness to be projected on. But that wouldn't work well in Ponyville.
AWESOME !!!
Where is the next chapter?
Future chapter plots: Glados goes to work at Sugarcube Corner...and uses her own cake recipe...
1304773 It was her dream.
I am sooo looking forward to the next
chaptertest!You make these way too good. Keep making them! But faster!
I'm just anticipating her putting a portal on the moon and Luna popping in to her to chew her out about it.
1305078 I know, its the fact that she had it is what concerns me.
MORE! Also, I love the flashback.
YES GLADOS! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON'T MAKE THIS ONE OF THOSE SHIT STORIES WHERE THE VILLAIN TURNS ALL GOOD AND THE DAY IS SAVED AND THAT CRAP!
Her dream
I can't wait for the next part!
1304869 But thats the best part
I'll never stop eating bacon.
Never.
I'm kind of hoping that Glados's last line at least makes Celestia see the hypocrisy in her ways. A thousand years trapped in stone forced to watch the world go by? Fuck, that I'd want to be dead!
Waiting for one of two things:
1) Chell somehow becomes on Equis.
2)GLaDOS meets Vinyl Scratch. (much more likely)
1304662B To hell with that. I'll be throwing Tediore guns at Rakks, thank you very much
1305265
And they call me a monster 
We demand MOAR!
I'm honestly surprised that Celestia is so forgiving of an unabashedly complete monster. Then again... Celestia is all about poetic justice. Forcing GLaDOS into pursuing friendship is a hilariously perfect punishment.
the testing begins now. Sweetie Bot commands it.