• Member Since 17th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago


I'm just here to write.



In Equestria's far future, one thousand and five years after the return, a dysfunctional group of argumentative ponies must quest to defeat the most dangerous enemy of Equestria to ever live; the malevolent Lord Second, one of the only known members of the race of elder gods known as the humans, and the ancient cult who worships him, the Brotherhood of Man.

An over-the-top surrealist comedy, with slight serious elements. Expect a steady decline into insanity.

Cancelled, due to reasons of severe cranial trauma

Now with audio reading and prequel story, Shades of Grey, by Draven Eclipse.

Chapters (40)
Comments ( 2638 )

"Vault 3G, that's the Elements of Harmony...4K...the uncensored history books. 9F, the alien spaceship, 4Q, Luna's foalhood drawings, 4Z, Metal Gear, 3D, those damn glasses, 5T, the elder scroll, 2W, that compass that doesn't point north"
epic, so bucking epic :rainbowlaugh:


"4Q, Luna's foalhood drawings, 4Z, Metal Gear, 3D, those damn glasses, 5T, the elder scroll" This right here :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:
Oh god this is awesome, I'll keep on reading it :pinkiehappy:
Also, I'm pretty sure that those glasses are mine :raritywink:


Oh I loved this xD I couldn't help but keep smirking through the entire thing.

I hate Human in Equestria stories on principle, because they're all usually the same, and there are new original ideas.

But I see now, I was wrong. :pinkiesmile:

More please! :pinkiehappy:

Thats... interesting. Waiting for more.

"Their clothing would have disguised them perfectly were it not for that. Even though some were unicorns, some were pegasi, some were earth ponies, and at least one of them was a huge zebra"...wait a sec, A HUGE ZEBRA?!:pinkiegasp:

As may have said before me... MOAR, I NEED MOAR. (That means great fic, keep up the good work x9001)

I'm withholding judgement based on two things.

Number one, are we ever going to have ponies whose names aren't just things? (Iron Hoof, Gold Coin, Etc.)
And number two, has Second matured any since being statue'd? Because I'm sure as heck not going to sit through an entire fic of that if I can help it.

Need more! Just too awsome for words!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

that was great!.. and alien spaceship? lol! and why would there be 3D glasses they don't even have television? or do they! this also proves those consperasy ponies were right after all!

can't wait for the next chapter:pinkiehappy:

*GASP* Metal Gear! We meet again!

Original idea, love how humans aren´t affected by magic
Buck, I left my window open...
5 stars and tracked!


I like this story, its going to be fun to see what happens when they revive the human, will he be resentfully, hatefully or forgiving, friendly, will he hate evryone for imprisoning him... etc
regardless this is gonna be a blast reading whatever you have in store for us:pinkiesmile::pinkiesmile:

Wow very different from most HiE fics as Axz said. Need moar. :pinkiehappy:

Sir, your story is way too amazing. I especially like the characterization of the humans (from Celestia's recalls). Theres also this sort of sacarstic replies made by different characters that really makes me laugh IRL. And this sentence is awesome >>>> "When ghosts wanted to scare each other, they told human stories"

Great set-up and the humans. I especially love the humans interacting in Celestia's memories. It really seems that they weren't very malicious but could also be incredibly malicious. Gives an air of mystery to the humans. Can't wait for the next chapter!

Already, I can tell I'm gonna like this! I personally (ponyally?) think we need more human fics on this site. Maybe even add it as a category.

i lol'd at the dragon heart reference:rainbowlaugh:

"Let's see," she muttered, "Vault 3G, that's the Elements of Harmony...4K...the uncensored history books. 9F, the alien spaceship, 4Q, Luna's foalhood drawings, 4Z, Metal Gear, 3D, those damn glasses, 5T, the elder scroll, 2W, that compass that doesn't point north, 7S...Oh. Oh dear."

Celestia looked up from her record book.

"Somepony check 7S! I swear if they took anything from 7S then we're all-"

"They didn't take it your highness!" one of the pegasi on the upper levels called back.

Celestia breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank goodness," she said, "The colonel would kill me if I let somepony steal his secret recipe."

Oh my god :rainbowlaugh:

Make moar of this please :rainbowkiss:

Great first chapter, hope ch 2 will be upload soon.:raritywink:

If they have Metal Gear why wouldn't they just destroy the statue to prevent any possibility of him returning?
Sounds like a pretty good insurance policy to me.

Wouldn't that involve... you know, killing him? Alternatively, the magic might break to prevent it, which would explain why they never broke Discord's statue.

The author has my attention, I shall withhold the judgment of the stars until I have a better sense where it is going. I find the human's attitude to be entertaining, and the idea of a pair of friends bumping around ancient equestria entertaining themselves while having little major impact on history (despite being essentially unstoppable) amusing. That being said, something happened that ruined that happy dynamic, and I can't help but wonder if 'the reapers horn' isn't a firearm. Of course, it being a horribly powerful magical artifact is more likely, but then from whence did it come?

O my sweet baked beans... MAKE MOAR!!!!! Please, it's sooooo good! Here take my stars. All of them.

Wow, I thought the "awakening of ancient evil" would stale after Past Sins, but here it's better than ever! :yay:
Gotta say, the humour is very attractive, and the plot is promising, so for the love of all that is good, keep up the amazing, work, cause I want MOAR! :rainbowkiss:

They'd better not steal mah secret recipe. :pinkiecrazy:If they do, I might just have to start making cupcakes instead.

Let me guess: He can manipulate Equestria by drawing in the air?

Celestia: "That thing that shall never be named"

VOLDEMORT?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?! :pinkiegasp:

This is really an interesting story and I await the release of the next chapter.:pinkiehappy:

Personally, I liked the pop culture references. It made the humans look like they were just a couple of idiots who just happened to fall into Equestria, and got in over their heads when they tried to have a little fun. Honestly, that outcome would seem to be the most likely. Most of the stuff the characters in HIE stories pull would get them trapped in stone.

Also, I think it's great that the story takes place a thousand years after the show. I love the characters to bits, but it's nice to see someone doing something original with the setting.

Fluttershy is still best pony. Even if it's not actually her at all!

Although Explodey McGee is a close second, even if his powers turn out to not be real.

I actually liked First (Anthony?) and Second's antics. No angst, just two dudes messing with everyone in a "Well, we're here, might as well have fun" sort of way. And since the duo didn't actually get all that much screen-time, it never got annoying. Looking forward to chapter three.

Eagerly waiting for more.

I cannot wait for Second to go badass on these ponies. Seriously, this is one of those stories that I have to root for the villain(Second) in. I get the feeling Sliske is going to be more a secondary comedy villian. Finally, Spike the Eternal?! Just plain awesome.

lol... i bet the other humans name is Ian. I bet it is SO Ian. :trixieshiftright:

The comedy works, and the plot is interesting. I like how the chapters are big, but will new chapters take long since the chapters are long ? I didn't expect to see ch2 soo early.

I want the second to win he is just to awesome and they killed his best friend even though they never actually killed any pony.
the false goddesses need to pay for their crimes.:trixieshiftleft:

Great so far, looking forward to more.
Keep up the awesome work.

I chuckled moderately at the pop culture references and jokes.

And then I saw who were Explodey McGee's parents.

And then I laughed my flank off. :rainbowlaugh:

Fantastic story, sir. My hat is off to you!

I bucking love this, despite it being an obvious work of fiction; humans never existed, nor did that pony Lyra Heartstrings (strange mare, that one).

(I love it, but you couldn't have them sing "Equestrian Girls"? It would have been too bucking perfect, especially if Pinkie Pie had been around them, since :pinkiehappy: "This is my jam!" Still, I love the humans and wish that after the conclusion of this story, a possible prequel be penned, at least as an epilogue chapter :duck: Also, 99258 said everything else I'd want to say so far.:eeyup:)

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