//------------------------------// // Interlude 2: On Your Head Be It // Story: Human // by DannyJ //------------------------------// The first thing that the group of friends decided to do once they were done at the factory was get on their way to Canterlot. It had been a rough night. Since Explodey took so damn long to eat his plate of meat, everypony ended up sleeping at the factory, mostly laying their heads on various desks, though Mystic was small enough that he could curl up on one of the comfy chairs in the executives' meeting room. It had been an awkward scene for Explodey the night prior when after hours chipping away at the load of cockatrice remains, he finally ascended the stairs and strode proudly into Gold Coin's office to announce that he was done and they could go, and found Gold Coin laying sprawled over his desk and Soft Spoken nearly falling out of his little plastic chair. Well, after a whole day of ingesting animal flesh, Explodey had no intentions of sleeping at any time in the near future, so he had mostly spent the night walking in circles around the factory and messing with the machinery. In an astounding coincidence, that was also the same night that a saboteur from a rival corporation broke into the factory, with intentions of breaking all their sensitive equipment. Or at least, that was the story he was going to give if anypony asked. Fortunately, nopony seemed to have noticed yet, so Explodey merely had to say nothing and silently pray that the damage would not be noticed until after they all left. Today, he seemed to have gotten lucky, because they were already packing all the stuff they had taken to carrying around into convenient trunks and suitcases, and Chain Mail was loading them onto Spike's back outside the farmhouse. Soon, they'd be on their way. On the other side of Ponyville though, a lone sniper was lining up his shots. "Heh heh heh..." Night Shroud muttered under his breath, "I've got you now, Goldie...It took fourteen hours of waiting on this cloud, I've been shit on by twelve different birds in the past hour alone, and I'm fairly sure I caught a cold while up here, but I've finally got you in my sights..." *** "Well...I guess this is goodbye again, son." "Oh come on, dad," Gold Coin said dismissively, "It's not like you're never going to see me again or something. I come around to visit all the time!" "It's been two months since you were last here," his mother interjected. The business pony blinked in surprise. "Two months? Really?" "Ayep," said Cheddar Cross, "Two months, one week an' three days ta be precise." "Wow. Well now I just feel like an asshole." "Ahem." The yellow earth pony turned around to see Soft Spoken waiting patiently behind him. He had once again suited up in the Rainbow Six armour, minus the helmet which he was holding by his side. "Goldie? We should be on our way soon. Chain Mail tells me the princess is expecting us. We can't keep royalty waiting." "Yeah, I suppose..." Just over by the front door meanwhile, Sliske leaned casually against the farmhouse wall. At first, he seemed quietly bored, but then a small hole popped in the wood next to him, and a loud bang rang out across Ponyville. Sliske cringed from the sound of it, but was surprised to see when he opened his eyes again that nopony else seemed to have noticed it. "Well, I'm sorry," Gold Coin said sincerely, addressing his parents again, "I had no idea it had been so long since my last visit. I've just been spending all my time at work these last few months, among...other things. I won't do that again. I promise I'll visit more often after this. I'll come down here again once this whole business with Second is resolved and I'll take a week off here. Help around the farm a bit. Like I did in the old days." Toffee Apple and her husband had nothing more to say. Both just smiled appreciatively. Gold Coin's mother gave him a quick goodbye hug, and his father too. Cross just gave him a hoof shake. Sliske meanwhile walked over to try and warn his friend. "I don't mean to intrude, but we may have a problem here..." "Yes, just give me a minute, Sliske. I'm saying goodbye to my folks." There was another deafening bang, and Sliske reflexively ducked down. An old oil lamp hanging from the porch of the farmhouse shattered spectacularly, and a particularly large shard of glass embedded itself in the ground just at Sliske's hooves. He stared incredulously at it, and then at the ponies around him. They were all continuing to saunter about and not do anything. Could they really not hear that? An old mare walked out the front door of the house, carrying a plastic bag full of small bread rolls by her teeth. She trotted up to Gold Coin and laid them down in front of him. "I buttered some of those special bread rolls that Sugarcube Corner does. I know they're your favourite." "Aw, you didn't have to do that..." Gold Coin tried to give his grandma a quick hug as well, but being a grandma she didn't let go, and he had to struggle for several minutes before she got the hint and released him. Afterwards, he was just left embarrassed by the fact that his elderly grandmother could still overpower him. Softy was right. He was badly out of shape. What happened to all that strength he suddenly had when he was fighting Host? There was another shot, and Sliske looked up to see that one of the windows on the upper floor now had a large hole in one of the panes. "Guysssss, thissssss issssss important..." "In a minute, Sliske," said Softy. He turned to Maple and gave her a confident smile. "I guess I'll also be seeing you again soon," he said. Sliske groaned loudly and trotted away back over to the porch. "Once that business with Second is over, right?" the old mare asked. "I'll be back the minute he's gone. You'll see. You will wait for me, won't you?" Maple giggled like a schoolfilly. "Oh, look at you Softy! Old Softy, now a big brave soldier going off to fight humans..." "Heh," the stallion chuckled, "The suit's just for flying. I'm not a fighter." "Oh, you know what I mean..." Much to Gold Coin's revulsion, Maple and Softy exchanged a long, lingering kiss. In the background, Sliske jumped back as a milk bottle laying on the porch next to him exploded and its contents sprayed all over him. Soaked in milk, he angrily stomped over to the rest of the group again. "Guyssssss! Ssssssseriousssssly! Pay attention to me!" Maple and Softy broke apart. "I'll be waiting. Hurry back soon, right Softy?" The old stallion grinned and put on the cyan helmet, which clipped onto his suit automatically and started displaying the data in his vision. He saluted. "Yes ma'am!" He turned to his friend again. "Are we all ready Goldie?" The business pony picked up the plastic bag full of rolls. "Ready." Sliske jumped in front of them both. "You two! Lissssssten! There issssss a-" Another shot interrupted the alien. A bullet flew by and struck the ground not mere inches from Softy's right back leg, kicking up a bit of dust. Again, nopony seemed to notice except Sliske, and he ducked down and covered his head when he heard the shot. The other ponies were just looking at him like he was crazy. "Sliske, I don't have time for you to start acting erratically again. I put up with your bizarreness most the time, but you just need to chill right now. You're acting all panicky." "But-" "No buts. Get on the dragon." And despite Sliske's grumblings, two minutes later they were all on the dragon's back and waving goodbye to the Apples, as Spike and his passengers rose into the sky. *** Night Shroud stood on a cloud on the other side of Ponyville and stared into the distance in a state of shock. He looked down at his weapon. "What the hell was that?!" he demanded, "Did somepony fuck with the scope or something?!" The former night guard dug into the pockets of his armour and pulled out the instruction manual that the pony running the Fort First armoury had given him. This thing had to have some kind of explanation for this weirdness. "'Congratulations on your purchase of a SEC Mk. III sniper rifle, the best and finest in Secopolis-produced military ordnance and non-lethal target elimination'." He paused and read that part back. "'Non-lethal'?" The contents page indicated that there was a section elaborating on the capabilities of the weapon. Impatiently, the bat pegasus skipped ahead to that page and read it out. He scanned it until he found what he wanted. "'In the event that lethal rounds were mistakenly loaded, the SEC Mk. III has a backup target redirection spell built in, that will ensure that any ammunition type other than the tranquilisers made for use with the SEC Mk. III will automatically redirect to targets other than living creatures, such as hostile robots or possible shooting range targets, thus allowing for preservation of pony life with no fear of possible accidental death caused by discharge of incorrect ammunition from the SEC Mk. III.'" Night Shroud blinked in disbelief, mouth hanging open. He looked back at the rifle. "THIS IS A GUN DESIGNED BY HIPPIES!" END Author's notes: Sorry. I just couldn't fit these scenes into the next chapter, and they needed to be in the story somewhere. They were very nearly in the last chapter, but that was already seventeen thousand words, and I didn't want to push it any further. The next chapter is also taking me longer than usual. Not due to any specific problem, I've just been having trouble getting around to it. For more on that, see my last blog, along with a quick summation of my thoughts on the finale and some ramblings about Fallout. Seriously though, next chapter is Canterlot for realz. So look forward to all the craziness I promised last week, including an exclusive look into the fucked up little world inside Second's head.