"...but Second did not waver from His task and instead stood before the mighty alicorn and drew from within His coat the mighty Reaper's Horn, said to be forged in Hellfire and made from metal ripped from within a dying star, and pointed it at His adversary. And though the First protested, Second readied the Reaper's Horn so that He might use it to devastate the sun tyrant with the power of its ancient death spell. As he drew it, the tyrant stopped dead in her tracks, wondering just what it was that gave her enemy such confidence. And Second held his weapon upon high and proclaimed to the monster;
'The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. AND YOU WILL KNOW MY NAME IS THE LORD, WHEN I LAY MY VENGEANCE UPON THEE.'
And from then on, He was known as Lord Second, and his followers were known, as the Brothers of Man."
-The Lord's Name, from the Brotherhood of Man's holy book The Liberator.
***
"Come on Spike! It should have landed just over the hill here."
The baby dragon kept pace alongside Twilight, but not being the most athletic type was beginning to sweat after the long run from the library to here. For now though, that didn't matter. All that mattered was that thing he had seen. A great big flaming red thing which fell from the sky and landed just outside Ponyville. He was excited for this, his mind filled with day dreams of finding a crater full of exotic outer space gemstones.
"I wonder what we'll find in the meteor?" Spike wondered aloud, "Maybe space gems? Or even an alien being?!"
Twilight smirked.
"Oh Spike, there's no such things as aliens!"
Still running, Spike frowned at the lavender unicorn.
"How do you know?" he asked, "Maybe there are aliens and we just haven't met them yet."
Twilight opened her mouth as if to argue, but stopped when they reached the crest of the hill and saw the crash site below. A huge crater had formed where the meteor had made impact, and in the dead centre the still smoking rock laid still. It was mostly grey and was uneven and rough, as you'd expect a rock to be, but was cracked at the top and leaking boiling hot water.
"Oooh..." said Spike.
The unicorn and her assistant made their way down the hill towards the crater and stood just at the edge of it. They exchanged a look, Spike silently daring her to move in closer. When she proved willing, he followed afterwards a few steps behind, and soon the two stood just a few feet from the smoking lump of rock.
"Wow...I've never seen anything like it before," Twilight commented, "It's just like in my books!"
She reached out and tapped the meteor with her hoof, and suddenly the rock began spewing even more steam.
"Oh!"
Twilight backed away from it nervously, and her eyes went wide as the steam began to tint black.
"Uh..." said Spike, "I think we should run!"
He tried to turn and leave, but Twilight stood still, rooted to the spot and staring in wonder as the steam which looked more like smoke now began to coalesce and form into a solid shape. At first it was just a vague round shape, but soon the dark cloud of gas formed into a face. It wasn't like a real pony's face. It was more like a drawing of a face, with just two huge eyes and mouth. It blinked at them.
"Uh..."
Twilight and the dragon exchanged looks again. Though they were unsure of how exactly to react to this strange thing that they were seeing, it seemed to be alive, and one of the most important lessons Twilight ever learned during her friendship studies was not to judge by appearances. With that in mind, she tried to extend an offer of friendship to the thing. Smiling nervously, she stepped forward and held out a hoof.
"Umm, hello sir," she said, "My name is Twilight Sparkle, and as a representative of our planet, I would like to welcome you to Equestria!"
The thing smiled, revealing a mouth full of sharp jagged teeth. That was not the warm smile of a new friend. That was the evil grin of something that was about to bite her head off. The gas creature began to float through the air towards her. Twilight backed up slightly, still not entirely willing to entirely give up hope that this was just how his species said hello, but could not stop herself shouting words of warning to Spike anyway.
"RUN!" she shouted.
The moment Twilight opened her mouth however, the creature shot forwards and straight at her. The creature shifted form and shape and crawled right down the unicorn mare's throat. Twilight tried to spit him out, but instead began to choke on the alien. The thing seemed to become incorporeal, and floated down into her. She fell over onto her back and looked up at the sky, tears welling up in her eyes from the sudden pain, and her little dragon friend ran over to her side.
"Twilight! Are you okay?!"
She tried to reassure him, but the moment she opened her mouth, she suddenly sprouted fangs. She leapt back onto her feet again and started trotting in place, panicking at the sudden change. Her mouth was now full of massive jagged teeth just like the alien had. Spike tried to say something, but then her eyes suddenly changed to a yellowy green colour and a long forked tongue shot out of her mouth.
Twilight, his Twilight, gave him one last terrified look before she gagged again and her expression suddenly darkened, and in that moment Spike knew that his friend was gone. The alien in her body reared up on its hind legs in triumph.
"SSSSSSSLISSSSSSSKE'S BACK!" it proclaimed to heavens, "WEEP IN TERROR CCCCELESSSSSSSTIA! I'M COMING FOR YOU!"
There was nothing left to do. Spike was helpless against this thing. Twilight by herself would be too much for him to handle, let alone Twilight being controlled by an evil alien invader. So he couldn't save her. He couldn't fight the alien. He couldn't do anything at all. All the little dragon could do was turn away and run as fast as his little legs could carry him while the alien was still cackling and threatening the sky. Run back to Ponyville and tell AJ and Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy and Rarity, ponies who could actually do something about this, and possibly save Twilight.
As he ran back home, Spike cried. He had never felt more useless in his life.
And in the darkness of the old empty ball room, the sleeping dragon puffed out a small cloud of smoke and kicked in his sleep, dreaming of a terror he felt long ago, not of what had happened to Twilight, but of his own inability to save her. Because even after a thousand years of defending ponies from whatever horrors lived out there, the one thing he still feared the most was those he couldn't save.
***
"Okay, so who are these ponies again?" Princess Luna asked as she trotted through the halls.
The lieutenant from earlier kept pace beside her, a grim look on his face.
"Guards said they called themselves the Knights of Man, and they reckon they represent some nation calling itself America, which is apparently a part of something else called the New Human Empire. They claim that Second is their master, and they've come to reclaim stolen property belonging to him. They told the guards that not letting them in would be considered an act of war between Equestria and this America place, and since we don't know anything about America, we decided it best not to start a war with them right now, especially if Second is with them."
Luna groaned.
"I'm in no state for diplomacy right now," she lamented, "I can't deal with this lieutenant! I need Blueblood for this!"
"Well Blueblood won't be here until morning," the lieutenant replied, "If you really don't think you can handle this, just cut off the conversation early and ask them if it would be appropriate to continue tomorrow."
The dark alicorn sighed in resignation and bowed her head as they approached the door.
"Here goes nothing."
***
The door slammed as Captain Chain Mail entered the interview room carrying a clipboard in his mouth. The mutated old unicorn mare who was once Lady Arcane Arts looked up from the desk at him, apparently waking from a day dream. Sliske's green and yellow serpentine eyes looked the captain over and analyzed everything about him. He waited patiently, and Chain Mail soon took a seat across the table from him and placed down the clipboard.
"I must say, this is a rare honour," said Chain Mail, "I never normally get such famous prisoners. My mother told stories about you. For a time in my foalhood, I was scared to go to sleep because you kept appearing in my nightmares."
Sliske gave the captain a big toothy grin.
"You flatter me sssssssso much captain."
Chain Mail cleared his throat.
"Quite. Anyway, since you're here to answer questions, I thought you might be able to help me with something."
"Assssssssssk away."
"You can read the memories of those you possess, correct?"
"Yesssssss."
"Well, you are currently residing in one of the thirteen members of the Brotherhood of Man. I want you to tell me the identities of all the surviving members who we haven't already captured."
Sliske blinked.
"Oh. Isssssss that all?"
Chain Mail nodded. Sliske sat back in his chair.
"There isssssss an away team waiting here in Canterlot. An icccccy blue pegasssssssussssss mare by the name of Frossssssssty Morning is the leader in the absencccccce of others. She workssssssss weather, and hassssss a houssssssse on Ressssssident Row. Sssssshe sssssssshould be hiding out there with four othersssssssss. They will be a grey unicorn teacher named Ssssssssssharp Mind, a famoussssss former raccccing ccccccelebrity named Ssssssun Rissssse, who I'm ssssssure you've heard of, and a zzzzebra who I am not confident in my ability to pronouncccccce the name of with thisssssss tongue. That green earth pony, Ssssswift Jusssssstice, who I desssssstroyed earlier, wasssssss alssso a twin. Her sssssissssssster issss a nurssssse called Intenssssssive Care, and ssssssshe will alsssssssso be with Frossssssty."
The captain nodded and looked at his clipboard. Sliske wasn't really giving him any new information. He had already obtained a complete list of names from Ancient Tome earlier. The purpose of the interview with Sliske was to have a third party confirm the names, and so far everything matched up. They knew most of these names thanks to Gold Coin and Soft Spoken already, but he didn't learn about the one called Intensive Care until his interview with Tome, so that was at least one name confirmed.
"And the others?" he said.
"The other two a pair called Rail Way and Night Ssssshroud. Rail Way isssssss a dark grey earth pony with a train engine assssssss a cutie mark, and he will be at hissss home in Ponyville right now. Night Ssssshroud isssss a bat pegassssssssusssssss and a night guard, though he will not be on duty tonight. I am not sssssssure where he livessssss, but I would imagine the royal guard sssssshould have recordssssssss."
Well, that was the other two names confirmed. They had a complete list of all the known members of the Brotherhood of Man, and even now a team of guards were probably already on their way back from arresting Frosty Morning and the away team. Now they just had to research the background of Rail Way and Night Shroud to find their exact addresses and see if they had any family links to the Elements of Harmony.
"Thank you Mr. Sliske," the captain said politely, "You've been a big help."
Chain Mail stood up from his chair and picked up the clipboard. He walked over to the door.
"Isssssss Broad Sssssssssword alright?"
The question gave the captain pause. Without turning to face the alien body snatcher, he answered;
"He's fine. The colt's sharing a cell with Explodey McGee right now."
Silence.
"Issss he in trouble?"
"High treason is a serious crime. He's looking at life imprisonment or banishment at worst."
"I feel I sssshould confesssssss that I may have messsssed with hisssssssss brain ssssssomewhat. Private Broad Ssssssssword wasssssss never a willing accomplicccccce. I jusssssst rewired hisssssss brain while I wassss in there to make him think he wasssssss sssssso that I could hide in there without controlling him directly."
Chain Mail cracked a smile and turned to face his prisoner again.
"You liar. I can tell you're covering for him. After that little talk in the throne room between you two, when you refused to follow Second? That wasn't a talk between a master and a slave. You consider him a friend, don't you?"
The possessed unicorn shifted uncomfortably.
"You're quite unlike the famous Sliske the Destroyer that I heard about in my stories. They always talked about you as if you were some dark legend. After meeting you though, I think you've been spending too much time with ponies, because you're more like them than you'd think."
Sliske slumped down and laid his head on the table. Or his host's head. Whatever.
"Our life experiencccccessssss, our memoriessssss, are what define usssssss and sssssshape ussss into who we are. Poniesssssss live their livesssssss and become creaturessssss of friendsssship and magic. My raccccce are alssssssssso defined by our memoriessssssss. It isssssss jusssssst that we have to borrow them from othersssssssss, becaussssse we do not have livessssss to live, or experienccccccessssss to have."
***
Luna took a seat at the table at the far end and looked around at the ten pegasi that took most of the other chairs. The lieutenant was right about them all looking similar. She could almost swear that they were all brothers and sisters. She wanted to ask about where they got the armour from, as they all appeared to be wearing derivatives of night guard's armour, but she had more important questions right now.
"So then, who are you?" she asked wearily.
"The Knights of Man!" a red stallion cried out.
"Yes, I know that. Who are you though, and where do you come from?"
This time it was a mare who answered.
"We are the defenders of Emperor Second, hoof picked by him as his personal guard, placing us above even the most prestigious and high ranking members of the United States military."
"You have a military?" Luna asked.
"Indeed we do!" another stallion replied, "A grand army two thousand ponies strong!"
The princess felt uneasy about that revelation.
"...I never knew the Brotherhood of Man was so huge."
"The Brotherhood of Man?!" shouted another pegasus, "I think you mean the High Priests of Man! They who lead the Church of Humanity!"
Luna shook her head to pull herself out of her stupor.
"Look, can you please just tell me what this stolen property you're here about is? I want to get this over with, because now is really not the time for me to be dealing with this."
"I think you already know what it is," said the mare, "A vehicle that Emperor Second used to break through the front gate of the palace. A red machine known as the Ferrari. You have it stored in your dungeon."
"Oh."
Luna thought back to the strange contraption that Second had drove onto the palace grounds. With all the other weirdness that had been going on today she had almost completely forgotten about it.
"Well, I'm sure we can arrange something with regard to that."
"There will be no arrangement. You will surrender the vehicle immediately or else you would declare war on the US of A! In addition, you will also release all your prisoners, including Explodey McGee and Sliske!"
Princess Luna placed a hoof on her forehead and groaned.
"Look, I'm not denying any of your requests, but I am in no fit state to discuss this right now, and certainly not to be negotiating with your organisation. My sister was killed not hours ago. I need some time first before I can commit to anything. Can you please just wait a few hours? I'm calling in another pony to take over my royal duties for a while, and he should be arriving in the morning, and you can take up the matter with him instead."
The Knights of Man all turned to each other and mumbled just under their breath. Luna couldn't quite hear them, but the discussion was brief anyway.
"This is acceptable to us," the mare replied, "On the condition that we be provided quarters to wait until tomorrow for the arrival of your regent, and we are guaranteed safety while under your roof."
Luna nodded.
"Lieutenant, arrange these ponies some accommodation."
"Yes ma'am!"
Luna and the Knights of Man all vacated their seats at once. As the princess made her way over to the door, she stopped and whispered to the lieutenant.
"And for the love of all that is good in this world, do not let them out of your sight."
***
The following morning...
***
Chain Mail sighed to himself as he stepped out into the morning sun. Luna had done fairly well all things considered. Normally she just handled nights. She wasn't usually the one raising the sun too. Not that there weren't exceptions of course, but there had never been any in his life time. In all honesty, he had suspected that there would be a more noticeable difference between Luna's daytime and Celestia's, but so far everything seemed to conform to the usual standards.
He passed by a duo of sad looking guards, who saluted him.
"At ease."
They both returned to their normal stance. The captain looked out across the palace grounds and saw the highly decorated Trottingham carriage making its way up the pathway towards them. Chain Mail walked down the steps to go greet the carriage and its very important passenger.
Prince Blueblood's carriage came to a halt in front of him, and two ponies dressed in red and wearing some weird looking tall black hats ran out to open the doors. For a moment, Chain Mail didn't quite know what to expect. He very rarely dealt with any of the nobility aside from the royal sisters, and wasn't quite sure what the Trottingham prince would really be like. He knew those Trottingham ponies had some odd traditions, so he was expecting the prince to perhaps be somewhat eccentric.
The doors opened, and his guess about him being eccentric was immediately proven right.
The prince was a white unicorn, but not a clean white one. Princess Celestia was the purest white he had ever seen and almost radiant in her splendour, but this unicorn's coat was dulled with dirt and grime. He clearly once had a blond mane, but he had for some reason chosen to dye it brown, and he could tell it was dyed because it was starting to fade, and he wasn't even wearing anything to befit his status as a prince. No jewellery or fashionable clothing or anything. If not for his cutie mark of the Trottingham crown, one would likely write him off as just another common pony.
He stepped out of the carriage and held out his hoof to grab Chain Mail's and shake it vigorously. The captain didn't know what exactly he expected, but it certainly wasn't this.
Then the prince spoke.
"Watcher. I'm Blueblood, from Trottin'am. I'm sure you knew I was coming mate. Glad to finally be out of that carriage. It's been a bloody long trip and these old gits here ain't really good for conversation, know what I mean?"
"Umm..."
Prince Blueblood stopped shaking his hoof and began walking up the steps. The two Trottingham guards began to follow him, but he turned around suddenly and shouted at them.
"No! You stay 'ere and guard the carriage like you're supposed to! I've had enough of you lot! You're boring! I'm gonna talk to some real ponies for once instead of a buncha fuckin' statues!"
If the strangely dressed guards were at all offended, they didn't show it, and instead closed up the doors to the carriage and stood silently either side of them with a discipline and quiet dignity that Chain Mail could only dream of inspiring in his soldiers.
"Come on mate," Blueblood called, "Le's go inside."
Chain Mail ran up the stairs to catch up to the odd prince and walked alongside him.
"Who are those ponies?" he asked.
"Beefeaters mate," Blueblood replied, "Bunch of fucking wankers, if I do say so myself. Stand there outside my 'ouse all day and do fuck all. They're supposed to scare off would be thieves, but no 'alf way decent villain in Trottin'am are gonna be scared off by those bloody stupid 'ats of theirs."
"Beefeaters?!" Chain Mail repeated, "How'd they get a name like that?! Surely they don't really-?!"
"No mate, o'course they don't."
Chain Mail breathed a sigh of relief.
"Not no more anyway."
The captain nearly seized up again. Prince Blueblood smiled.
"Nah, I'm just pullin' your leg mate!"
Chain Mail began to laugh nervously. The royal guards saluted again as he passed, and the two ponies headed inside.
***
Broad Sword sighed lazily and yawned as he woke up. He briefly wondered why his mattress was so much more uncomfortable now, before remembering that he was in a prison cell in the dungeons of Canterlot Castle. He shrugged it off and twisted onto his side so he was facing the wall. He opened his eyes slowly. And was greeted by the sight of Explodey McGee laying in the bed next to him and giving him a big stupid grin. Broad Sword just froze.
"Mornin' Swordy! Are you still feeling sore? Because I know I sure am!"
For a moment, there was just uncomfortable silence. Then...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
The guard jumped straight out of bed and ran across the cell to the bars, which he started pounding as loudly as he could.
"SOMEPONY GET ME OUT OF HERE!" he screamed, "RIGHT NOW!"
He stopped hitting the bars however when he realised that Explodey was laughing at him. The unicorn had fallen off the bed and was literally rolling on the floor laughing, hooves on his stomach and trying to catch his breath between fits of giggles. Broad Sword just stared at him, until he stopped and rubbed a tear away.
"Your face!" he giggled, "Oh dear Luna your face! I had to get up pretty early to set it all up, but that was just priceless!"
Broad Sword was now having a hard time stopping himself from smirking as well as he realised that he'd just been pranked.
"Heh...I guess that was pretty funny," he admitted, "You really freaked me out there for a second!"
"I know, right?!"
A guard appeared on the other side of the bars.
"Hey, what's all the commotion?" he asked, "Is there a problem in here?"
"Eheh...Nothing sir," Broad Sword replied, "Just Explodey's usual antics."
The guard raised an eyebrow.
"Hmm. If you're sure."
"Oh hey, will Chain Mail be down here at all today?"
"I'm not sure private," the other guard replied, "He's meant to be greeting some prince from Trottingham today. Luna apparently felt she needed the extra help right now. Can't say I blame her really. If what happened to the princess shook me up that badly, I can't imagine what it must be like for her."
The laughter had long since stopped, and that quiet atmosphere had regained its dominance. Broad Sword bowed his head sadly.
"I know. It was a terrible tragedy. I wish I could have done something, but it just came out of nowhere. And I was still in cuffs at the time."
"Yeah, that's right, you were there when it happened, weren't you?" the guard asked.
"We both were," Explodey added, "I was temporarily removed from my cell at the time because those brotherhood ponies tried to break me out, thinking I was being experimented on."
"Hey, I heard parts of what happened, but I never really saw it," said the guard, "Did the princess...Well...Did she suffer?"
Explodey looked off to the side, and Broad Sword just winced as the image of Celestia's head exploding into a red mess flashed across the forefront of his memory.
"It was brief," he said.
The guard just nodded, and turned to leave.
"Breakfast will be in one hour."
***
Celestia sat on the edge of the cliff that marked the boarder between Heaven and Hell, looking out across the landscape below. The ponies were still frolicking in the valley and enjoying themselves, as they always seemed to. It was like the whole place was constantly busy. Some footsteps on the stone indicated she was not alone, and Lord First soon sat down beside her, legs dangling over the cliff edge.
"They just warm your heart, don't they?" he said.
The solar princess smiled slightly, but said nothing, instead contemplating some of the aspects of this afterlife that the human had crafted. She considered voicing her questions, but didn't really feel like there was much point really. She was still trying to fully accept what First had already told her. She wasn't quite ready to start questioning him again yet.
"You're wondering how it works, aren't you?"
Celestia gave him a curious look. Figures he'd be able to read her like a book while she was in his realm.
"Just some of the mechanics of it all," she replied, "There are so many variables to account for."
First leaned back and snapped his fingers, a wine glass full of some black drink appearing in his right hand. He took a gulp of it.
"And I've thought of all of them," he said, "You're free to ask if you want. You've already heard the worst of my so called 'eldritch knowledge'. I don't think anything I can tell you about Heaven will really upset you that much."
Celestia sighed.
"Don't they get bored?" she asked, "I've lived for thousands of years. I know how much an eternity can drag, but at least I was doing something different every day, even if the variations were only slight sometimes. What about them though? They're just playing in the valley. The same setting and doing the same thing over and over again for the rest of time! Doesn't it bore them after a while?"
First smiled at her.
"Nope!" he said proudly, "I thought of that myself ahead of time. I have complete control over this entire realm, including all its inhabitants. So I cheated and did it the quick way. I made it literally impossible to feel boredom here. Everypony who enters the valley loses the capability to feel it altogether."
"What?! You take away their free will?!"
"No. I take away their ability to feel a certain emotion. And an emotion that can only have negative effects at that. Sure, maybe it was a little unethical, but you know as well as anypony how hard it is to keep yourself entertained for thousands of years at a time. Now factor in that I have to entertain everypony in history, and that I won't just be doing it for thousands of years, but in fact will still be doing it well after the heat death of the universe, and I think you can understand why I went the easy route. They're still the same ponies as before. They just lost their ability to get tired of running in circles."
Celestia went back to staring down at the valley.
"Why are we still breathing?" she asked.
"Familiarity's sake. You don't need to eat, sleep, breathe or use toilets here if you don't want to. We're all just spirits. However, the only real thing I change about the spirits here is taking away their boredom. Ponies can still be afraid, or uncomfortable, or worried for their still living relatives or homesick for the mortal world. To make it easier on those ponies, the air and the ability to breathe is still there if they want it. Same goes for everything else. The only thing you can't do here is procreate, because that's a biological process. Ghost sex does not make ghost babies."
Celestia recoiled at the thought of that.
"You mean that...that...still happens here?"
First frowned.
"For them it does," he said bitterly, "I haven't gotten laid in over a thousand years."
"Why not?"
First tilted his head at her.
"I'm serious. Why haven't you?"
"Have you just forgotten that I'm a human? And the only one here?"
"So? Discord was the only draconequus for a time, and he-"
"STOP."
"But-"
"NO. STOP. We are not discussing whatever Discord got up to in his spare time. I for one do not care, and would be a much happier man if I never found out."
Celestia rolled her eyes.
"You brought it up."
First scowled at her.
"And I'm dropping it too. Now have you-"
He stopped.
"Excuse me for a moment. New soul incoming."
***
Chain Mail and Prince Blueblood entered the throne room side by side, and found Luna laying across her throne lazily and looking bored. She looked in their direction as they entered and sat up again, stretching her legs and yawning. Recalling, that this was like being up late at night for her, the captain decided to be easy on her for this.
"Your majesty, the prince has arrived," he reported.
Luna climbed down off her throne and walked across the huge hall to meet them half way.
"Good. Nice to see you again Blueblood. It's been a while."
"Sure 'as your maj. Last I saw you was that posh do they did here last year. What was that? Grand Galloping Gala. Tha's the one. Cor, stone me that was dull as a block of flats!"
Chain Mail raised an eyebrow at Luna, and she gave him a stern look, warning him not to say anything.
"Yes, I apologise for that," the princess replied, "It's something of a tradition that the gala is always incredibly dull. You have to please the nobles, you understand."
"Those stuffy old ponces? I don't know why you bother mate. I's not like they do anything really. They just stand around and look important. That's the beefeaters' job too. Stand around and jus' look like they're doing something. I hate cunts like that, they just cost money."
Luna quickly caught another look from Chain Mail and silenced him before he could speak again.
"I bother because every once in a while I meet somepony there who I can rely on," she replied, "I consider you to be one of those ponies. As...rustic...as you may be, you're one of my most dependable friends."
"Aww, you're gonna make me blush your maj. I'm real honoured you'd think that way 'bout me. Shows I'm doin' a good job I think. If only my old man would agree. He's also one of those real posh sods, as I'm sure you know. Bloody hate him I do."
"I know. I hate him too."
"So wha's the score then? Whacha need me for?"
Luna looked sadly at him.
"You may want to sit down for this."
***
Captain Chain Mail had eventually left the company of Princess Luna and Prince Blueblood. The Trottingham accent on the prince was so thick and he was using so much slang that he could only somewhat follow what he was trying to say. And the stallion had a gutter mouth like he hadn't seen since that one colt in middle school who kept refusing to go into special ed classes.
Instead, he was now going to see the three ponies waiting the infirmary. As he entered, he noticed that Dr. Heart Beat was once again ranting at two exhausted looking guards.
"And another thing!" shouted the raging unicorn doctor, "Why the FUCK do all royal gaurds look the same?! I mean, I know some are earth ponies and some are pegasi and so on and so forth, but DAMN, why are nearly ALL of you white?! And why do you ALL have weapon or armour themed cutie marks?! What the actual fuck?!"
It was then that Chain Mail noticed that they were the same two guards he was shouting at last time. Had the doctor been shouting at them for almost eleven hours straight? They looked over to the captain again, their expressions begging and pleading for him to come to their rescue. As Heart Beat then began to launch into another frothing rant about Celestia-knows-what, the captain decided that he didn't fancy his chances, and once again left the guards to their fate to go see the patients in the other wing.
Making his way over, he saw that Soft Spoken was the one asleep this time, laying in his chair, while Gold Coin was sat up in his bed and talking with Mystic Chant. What the conversation was he never found out, because it abruptly ended once the captain approached.
"Hello Mr. Coin," said Chain Mail, "I see you're looking much better. I hope you're feeling the same."
The earth pony regarded Captain Chain Mail cautiously.
"Soft Spoken told me you figured it out," he said, "Are you here to take me to the dungeons?"
"No. As a matter of fact, I'm here to take Mystic to the dungeons."
The sudden look of surprise on both ponies' faces got a brief chuckle out of the captain.
"For your visit of course!" he clarified, "You said you wanted to see your father today, right? I arranged everything for you. He's waiting in the meeting room as we speak. So how about it kid? Want to go see dad?"
Mystic looked resigned, and a touch sad that he had to leave. Chain Mail didn't know everything yet, but he had already gleaned that bad things happened between Mystic and his father before they were last separated. He did not expect a happy reunion, and by the look on the colt's face, neither did he. Still though, he had no obligation to do this and could back out at any time.
"Okay," he said.
Chain Mail smiled.
"Well, let's be on our way. As for you Mr. Coin, I wouldn't worry. I haven't even told Luna anything yet, mostly through lack of opportunity, but when I do I'll put in a good word. For now, I'd just get some rest."
***
Lord First and Princess Celestia stood side by side in the misty void of Hell. Just ahead of them, a pony laid on the cold stone floor, teal blue pegasus stallion with a black mane, roughly twenty years old and with a cutie mark of a watering can. Celestia tried to make her way forward, but First brought up an arm in her path to stop her.
With a silent shake of his head, he left the princess behind and walked over to the stallion. He was facing away from them, so First walked around to the other side of the pony so that he would be face to face with the new arrival. He gave Celestia a grim look and crouched down next to him. He lightly tapped the pony's head with a finger.
"Hey. Hey, wake up. Come on buddy, you're needed."
The pegasus stirred and looked up around him. He seemed dazed at first, like anypony did just after waking up from a deep sleep, but his eyes shot open and he suddenly sat up, fully alert once more, upon seeing who it was who woke him, and he began trembling. With the stallion sitting and First crouching, they appeared the same height.
"You!" he said fearfully, "You're...You're..."
The human held out a hand to the pony cheerfully.
"Lord First," he introduced, "Grim Reaper, Guardian of Souls, Heaven's Gatekeeper and patron Elder God of Equestria. It's nice to meet you Gardens. I've admired your work for a long time."
"You know me?" the pony asked, still trembling.
When it became clear he was not going to get a handshake from this pony, First let his arm drop back to his side.
"Of course I know you," he replied, "I know every pony. I've got all the time in the world up here. What else is there to do but get to know every pony out there?"
He didn't seem afraid anymore, but the pegasus now became extremely sad. His head drooped and he began to cry suddenly. First kept smiling, but it became less the cheerful kind and more the understanding, consoling smile.
"I'm sure you remember how you got here, right?" he asked.
The sobbing pony nodded and tried to clear away the tears from his face. First just patted him lightly on the back.
"Nasty way to go," he commented, "I'm sorry you felt like you had to do that to yourself. You aren't the first who's had the idea though. Ever since it happened I've had a flood of ponies just like you coming in."
Just a short distance away, Celestia gave First a questioning look, wondering what exactly he was referring to.
"But the princess! How could anypony do that to her?! She was the most wonderful mare Equestria ever had! I just...What do you do when all that's good in the world is...dead...?"
Oh. Now the realisation dawned. As Gardens as he was apparently called went into another fit of blubbering, Lord First beckoned her over.
"You know, this is the afterlife," he said, "Everypony who dies comes here. Gardens, how would you like to meet a very special mare?"
The pegasus turned to his side to see the princess as she approached. The waterworks immediately stopped, and he was captivated. He stared at her as if in a trance. First and the new pony both stood up at the same time.
"You touch so many lives Celestia," said First, "So it just stands to reason, some ponies took it hard."
***
Prince Blueblood bucked down the door to the dining room where the Knights of Man sat in places around a table. Luna followed him in afterwards, but said nothing. Instead, all focus was on the prince, as he made his way to the forefront of the table. One of the pegasus stallions raised an eyebrow.
"Would you be the new regent we were informed of?" he asked.
"Blueblood. Prince, Blueblood mate. Yeah, I'm the guv'nor around here. Anything you want you take it up with me."
"Well, then we demand you release your prisoners and the Ferrari that you are holding here in this castle!"
"Oy! Don't you be demanding nothing from me! We can talk it out if you want but don't make no mistakes about thinking you can boss me around sunshine! I'll knock you spark out mate!"
That seemed to silence the opposition. For now anyway.
"Now," the prince continued, "Since you're demanding so much of us an' all, I wanna know whatchu got to offer us in return?"
"There is no return offer!" shouted one of the mares, "You will submit to our demands or face devastation from the armies of the Empire!"
"An' wha's to stop 'em coming down here with those armies and messin' us up anyway?"
"Second would rather avoid war, but knows it to be inevitable," one of the knights explained, "By giving you the option to just submit to our demands, he is leaving the gate open for potential peace. However, all other routes lead to war, and he asked that we remind you that war would lead to devastation upon Equestria, and he estimates thousands dead on either side."
Luna and Blueblood exchanged a look.
"Sounds serious," said the prince, "I've got an idea though. Bear with me here mate. What if, instead o' just handing over all the prisoners and such to you and lettin' you go with 'em, we arrange transport instead? You can go ahead without us, and we'll send some of the boys 'round to wherever you're based with the prisoners and this Ferrari thing, and they can negotiate with Second for their release and 'opeful peace with Equestria when they get there?"
The Knights of Man did that low murmur thing that they did again, speaking in such a way somehow that they could all hear and understand each other perfectly but Luna and Blueblood could not, despite them both being right there. The princess was still unsure how they did it. It soon died down again.
"So?" the prince asked, "Do we 'ave a deal?"
***
Spike groaned as he awoke from his sleep. Light poured in through the windows and filled up the ball room. By the looks of things, it was now early morning. Spike's eyes crossed as he looked at his nose, and the pony standing at the end of it, a royal guard in standard armour. The soldier was expressionless, and to his credit did not flinch when Spike rose up to his full height to stretch his arms and yawn.
"So," the dragon said, his booming voice echoing through the room, "What's happened now?"
***
Mystic Chant's legs wobbled slightly as the captain led him into the interview room. A wooden table and two chairs were the only feature of the room, (aside from the mirror that Mystic knew from all those detective stories was not really a mirror), and his father Ancient Tome sat on one of the chairs facing him.
"Go on."
Chain Mail's encouraging tone helped the little unicorn along, and he climbed up into the other seat across from Tome. The captain closed the door and sat just by it, acting as supervision for the young colt and as a guard in case Ancient Tome tried to escape or try anything funny, and there were others on the other side of that mirror watching too.
Painfully aware that their conversation was not private, but no longer caring, Ancient Tome tried to begin conversation.
"So Mystic," he said awkwardly, "How is everything?"
"Good," the colt replied miserably.
"Is Soft Spoken treating you well?"
"...Yeah."
"And what about Gold Coin? Is everything okay with him too?"
"...He's fine..."
Ancient Tome bit his lip.
"So Mystic-"
"Why did you threaten Softy?!"
The younger unicorn's sudden outburst caught his father off-guard. Regaining his composure he tried to answer.
"Look, son-"
"Why did you bring back Second?! He's evil dad! He killed the princess! You saw him kill her! And you brought him back! Why?!"
"Mystic-"
"And why did you kill all those ponies?! Those guards did nothing wrong! They're good ponies! They defend us!"
This time, not trying to interrupt, Ancient Tome just stayed quiet and waited for Mystic's heavy breathing to subside. When he was confident that his son had nothing more to add, he tried to answer.
"Look, Mystic, I don't know if Gold Coin explained this to you or not, but I'm a member of the Brotherhood of Man. We believe certain things, and one of our core beliefs is that Lord Second is here to save our world, not destroy it. We believe in a corrupted tyrant of an alicorn, not a benevolent princess, and we believe that the humans were here to free us from them. We saved Lord Second, because we believed that he could still save us, by defeating Celestia and her sister."
He sighed.
"Now I grant that his promises of a zombie apocalypse don't exactly conform to those beliefs. Fair to say, I'm suffering something of a crisis of faith right now. But I still believe that Second does not seek only death and destruction. At heart, this is a plan to get rid of Luna too and show Equestria their saviour in action. I have faith that Second would not hurt an innocent pony."
"You would though!" Mystic shouted angrily.
Ancient Tome lowered his head in shame.
"The Brotherhood believe Celestia is the villain, but I never said that makes us nice ponies either. We banded together out of a common belief that Second would make Equestria better. Our motivations though were all wildly different. Chameleon for one felt that if she helped Second in rising to power, she would be rewarded with untold riches, and Swift Justice believed that Princess Luna was fully accountable for the actions of Nightmare Moon, and wanted the human released so that she could be brought to proper justice and executed for all the ponies she killed thousands of years ago.
"Your auntie Arts felt much the same as Swift Justice, and that was why she was a part of the Brotherhood. Me? I joined because I felt that the alicorns were keeping the rest of ponykind down for their own purposes, and wanted to see ponies as a species reach their full potential by getting rid of them. Regardless of our reasons though, we all had the same goal. We wanted Lord Second free and fighting the good fight. And we were willing to do anything to make sure he did.
"We researched forbidden black magic to conduct the resurrection ritual. We stole things from ponies to make it work, whether it be spell books, the Reaper's Horn, Second's statue. And yes, we even killed ponies in the name of rescuing Second. We did everything. Because we thought that was what we needed to do. I'm not going to pretend what we did was noble. I'm not saying it was right. I'm not even going to say it was necessary. But we had our reasons for doing what we did, and I stick by them."
Mystic's face twisted in anger.
"You still didn't have to threaten Softy!"
Ancient Tome just sighed. He had no response to that. Mystic and he waited in silence for a few minutes, the little colt clearly expecting a legitimate answer, but the truth was that there was no excuse for that. Not even Tome could pretend that he really needed to do that to the old stallion.
Mystic climbed off his chair wordlessly and walked over to the door.
"Wait!"
The colt stopped and looked back over his shoulder at the bearded old unicorn.
"Mystic, I know I haven't been the best father, but please don't shut me out completely because of this. I know I did wrong, but we're still family! You and me!"
Mystic turned again to face Tome properly, still looking angry.
"Auntie Morning and Uncle Iron are in the brotherhood, aren't they?" he asked.
Tome nodded.
"And Auntie Arts?"
Another nod.
"Was everypony in our family in the brotherhood?"
Tome paused slightly this time, but still gave a single nod anyway.
"...Even mom?"
"...Even mom."
Mystic turned away again.
"Then I don't want to be a part of our family!"
***
Sliske's eyes shot open. At the other end of his high security cell, the massive steel door swung open, and a number of royal guards stood on the other side, armed with a number of sharp pointy things that could make quick work of his physical body. The ancient alien being uncurled from his position of meditation and stood on the floor of the cell again to address them.
"Problem officccccersssssssss?"
"We are to escort you to the throne room immediately," the middle guard reported, "Princess's orders."
Sliske smirked.
"How interessssssssting..."
***
Soft Spoken woke up to see the ceiling moving above him. It took him a little while to even remember where he was, but even after his memories came back to him and he recalled that he had spent the night at Gold Coin's bedside in the Canterlot Castle infirmary, he still did not know why the ceiling was moving above him. He sat up, and found that he had been laying asleep on a stretcher which a number of medical ponies were moving from a large corridor. Gold Coin kept pace beside them, wearing a few bandages in places but evidently feeling much better.
"What on earth is this?" the old butler asked, "Why am I on a stretcher? Where are we going? Where's Mystic?"
"We're going to the throne room to meet Princess Luna," Gold Coin answered, "She requested our presence. Mystic is off seeing his father under the captain's supervision, but I'm told they will both be meeting us there. And you're on a stretcher because while I fully recovered and am okay to walk to the throne room, you fell asleep in your chair last night, and I thought it would be funny if we moved you on a stretcher and woke you when we got to the throne room instead of waking you right away, because then you'd be even more clueless as to what's going on, and I could tell you that you were being tried for war crimes or whatever and get a photograph of your reaction, and then I'd have the funniest picture in the world, which I could then sell to one of those magazines that buy funny pictures and make myself a nice tidy profit. The doctors here agreed to help me for a share of the money."
Soft Spoken blinked.
"Well?" said Gold Coin.
"...My head hurts..."
***
Chain Mail stepped outside the interview room with Mystic, who sighed loudly as they left. The captain gave the little colt a sympathetic look. He considered what best to say at this point, but before anything came to mind, he was interrupted by a guard patrol emerging from around the corner, escorting Sliske, Broad Sword and Explodey McGee.
"Woah, woah, stop there," the captain ordered, "What are you doing soldiers? I wasn't aware there was a prisoner transfer going on here?"
"There's not captain," one of the guards replied, "Princess Luna has ordered that these prisoners be taken up to the throne room."
"...Why?"
"I don't rightly know sir, but she wants to see you there too, and the colt."
Mystic didn't say anything, but still looked up to Chain Mail in surprise, wondering what it was the princess wanted him for. The captain voiced his concerns for him.
"Not sure why they want him, captain," the guard answered, "All I know is, those are our orders."
"Hmm," said Chain Mail, "Well, let's not keep the princess waiting any longer."
***
Ten minutes later, a group which included most of those present at Celestia's execution at the hands of Second gathered before Luna in the royal throne room. The princess sat high above them, flanked either side by some clearly tired night guards who were working out of their usual hours, and a number of day guards were positioned in strategic locations around the room. Lounging across the throne next to hers, Prince Blueblood barely tried to hide his lack of manners or tact, and slumped in it looking half asleep.
The ponies or pony shaped aliens of the group all stood in a line before the princess. Captain Chain Mail, Gold Coin, Soft Spoken, Mystic Chant, Broad Sword, Sliske in Arcane Arts' body, and Explodey McGee all stood to attention before the princess. Behind them, the massively oversized Spike stood somewhat more casually than the others, leaning in somewhat so he could best hear what the princess had to say. So far, he had said nothing to any of the ponies who had come in.
"Greetings subjects," Luna began, "I've called you all here for a very delicate matter. Lord Second is moving again, and we know where he is. As it turns out, the Brotherhood of Man were not in fact his only followers, and a number of them have banded together and created a small outpost somewhere in the Everfree forest. They claim to be building their own nation, which they name as the United States of America, and that will be a part of a much larger New Human Empire. If what they claim is anything to go by, this place may house up to two thousand ponies."
The ponies all began to exchange words. Sliske and Broad Sword commented on the numbers these ponies were claiming, Chain Mail and Explodey seemed to question the threat of such an outpost, while Mystic and Soft Spoken both tried to grill Gold Coin for answers about this entire mass of human worshippers that they had never heard about, which unfortunately it seemed he hadn't either. Spike just kept quiet.
"Now," said the princess, silencing the conversation, "They have sent us a group of ponies already, demanding the return of the red machine in our dungeon called the Ferrari which Second used to breach the gates of the palace grounds, and that we release all the prisoners to them, including all the Brotherhood members, Sliske, and Explodey."
"What?! Why me?!" asked Explodey.
"No clue," Luna replied, "However, refusal to meet their demands will be considered an act of war. Now, I don't think we can keep peace for very long with a group that follows Lord Second, but we are Equestrians, and it's our duty to take the path of peace wherever possible. For that reason, I am sending all of you, along with the Brotherhood of Man prisoners and the Ferrari, out to this Everfree outpost to negotiate peace between Equestria and America."
"Permission to speak freely your majesty?" asked Captain Chain Mail.
"Granted."
"Why are WE being sent to negotiate this? How are we qualified?"
"Ummm..."
The group all turned to look at Soft Spoken.
"...Well...I was a diplomat back in the day," he offered, "I was considered one of the best in fact. I think we're being sent because the princess expects me to come out of retirement."
"Indeed I do," said Luna, "but I must confess I have an ulterior motive."
"Well do tell princess," Gold Coin interrupted, "Because I would like to know why you feel we're all needed for this, especially Mystic. What's Mystic doing here? Come to that, what's Sliske doing here?"
"Mystic and Sliske are here for the same reason the rest of you are. I expect all of you to work together as a team to negotiate with the Americans on this. It is vitally important that all of you are in on it."
"WHY?!"
"Because I believe that between you, you all embody the Elements of Harmony."
You could have heard a pin drop after that. The entire chamber went silent. All the members of the group were well aware of what the Elements of Harmony were. They had all heard the old legends of Twilight Sparkle and her friends, and the numerous foes they had defeated with them. Hell, Sliske was one of those foes they had defeated. Of all of them, Mystic had the sketchiest knowledge of what exactly the elements were, but even he knew the basics of the legend.
And still, Spike remained silent. Though he was now making a 'surprised face'.
"Say again ma'am?" said Chain Mail.
"Umm...What?" Sliske agreed.
"I said you may-"
"Okay stop!" Soft Spoken interrupted, "Pardon my French your majesty, but what the fuck?! Have you SEEN who you're speaking to here?! You think Sliske is an Element of Harmony?! SLISKE?!"
"Yes."
"But- But- BUT HE'S EVIL!"
Sliske frowned.
"Well fuck you too Missssssssssster Uppity."
"So?" said Luna, "No rule against the Elements of Harmony being wielded by evil aliens."
Soft Spoken began spluttering.
"Gold Coin!" he shouted, "You know that Gold Coin is a former member of the Brotherhood of Man, don't you?!"
"Hey! Thanks for snitching Softy!" Gold Coin said indignantly.
"Yes, I did know," Luna answered.
"Wait, how did you know?" the captain asked, "I was going to tell you myself, but I never got around to it."
"It's really not that hard to figure out."
"And you still believe he's an Element of Harmony?!" shouted Soft Spoken.
"You know, for a pony called Soft Spoken you sure shout a lot," Gold Coin commented.
"Yes, I do," Luna replied, "I can sense their power in all of you. How that is when there are seven of you and six elements I do not know, but that's the purpose of this journey. Like how Twilight Sparkle and her friends once wandered through the Everfree to discover the elements and strengthened the bonds of friendship between them, so to must you now make that same journey, to discover the elements you all represent and hopefully defeat Lord Second if this negotiation doesn't work out, which I strongly suspect it won't."
The ponies all exchanged looks.
"Thisssssss issssssssss a ssssssssstupid plan," said Sliske, "Are you ssssssseriousssssssly going to trussssssst the Elementsssssss of Harmony to ussssssss when at leasssssssst half of our group issssss evil, or at leassssst created by or followers of evil? And how do you know we will even become friendssssssssss? What if I decccccccide I hate all thesssssssse poniessssssss?"
"Well, you're already friends with Broad Sword, so you've made a good start," the princess pointed out.
That seemed to defeat Sliske's argument.
"Your thoughts captain?" asked Explodey McGee.
"I stopped listening after Elements of Harmony," Chain Mail answered, "This plan makes no sense to me, and I can easily see this ending in tears."
"I agree," said Explodey.
"Me too," said Gold Coin.
Mystic just murmured a passive agreement.
"What about you Broad Sssssssword?"
"I have no opinion at all!" the guard replied cheerfully.
"So we're all in agreement then?" said Soft Spoken, "This is a stupid plan and we shouldn't do it?"
The other six all agreed unanimously. Then, Spike stepped in and voiced his opinion for the first time.
"But you're still going to do it anyway," he said.
"Yeah, but we don't want to!" Gold Coin replied turning to face the dragon, "You can't make us!"
"I can breathe fire."
"He'sssssssss got ussssssss there," said Sliske.
Soft Spoken just sighed loudly.
"Fine. I don't even care anymore. Let's just do it."
***
This was just plain idiotic. Princess Luna's plan to deal with the impending threat of a possible invasion from an unknown number of ponies following an evil Elder God was to send a group of random ponies, including a child, a treacherous guard, a stallion alive way past the point he should have been, and at least three ponies who were likely to turn around join Lord Second instead. And these ponies were supposedly the embodiments of the Elements of Harmony, and the last hope for Equestria.
They were all going to die.
And with this in mind, the seven of them made their way over to the portal station to be transported to the coordinates provided by the Knights of Man, which according to the princess should lead to a clearing somewhere on the edge of the Everfree, not too distant from Ponyville.
The prisoners that weren't among the Elements of Harmony, (Ancient Tome and Iron Hoof), had all been caged up and placed in a giant shipping crate along with the Ferrari. Odd choice of prisoner transport, but that was hardly the strangest thing that had happened lately. The whole world was absurd these days. It was better to just shake your head and move on, and never question it again.
Spike was going ahead of them with the crate. Apparently, he would be needed there to defend them if anything happened, but Spike was way too huge to fit through a portal. Instead, he would be flying to the location instead and carrying the crate with him. The Elements were expected to take a portal ahead and wait for Spike in the Everfree.
"Remind me again why we're doing this?" said Gold Coin.
"Persssssssssonally, becaussssssse I have nothing better to do," Sliske answered, "And that dragon ssssssscaresssssss me."
Soft Spoken was staring at him.
"What?"
"I'm sorry, I just can't get over the fact that I'm travelling with a thousand year old alien body snatcher who has tried to take over Equestria no less than three times already, and somehow the princess trusts you to travel with us without a legion of guards to protect the rest of us."
"Hey," Captain Chain Mail interrupted, "Me and Broad Sword are here, aren't we? If Sliske tries anything, that's what we're for."
"Oh yeah, big help," said Gold Coin, "I'm sure Sliske's really scared of you two. Correct me if I'm wrong, but hasn't he possessed the both of you at least once?"
"Would you pleasssssssse ssssssstop talking about me asssssss if I'm not here?"
"Shut up you!" Gold Coin snapped, "You're psychopathic maniac! You have no right to speak!"
"Well you're a deluded cultissssssst, so you're one to talk."
"You're mind controlling a pony right now! What's to say you won't do that to the rest of us?!"
"What'ssssss to ssssssay you won't try to kill the resssssst of ussssss with voodoo?"
The yellow earth pony nearly lunged at Sliske, but Broad Sword and Explodey both caught him before he could. Chain Mail just rolled his eyes and turned to look across the station. It had been cleared out for their use right now, as all the civilian portal destinations had been closed and the power re-routed so that they could make this special journey. In the portal chamber on the other side of the station, their transport arrived.
"There it is folks," he called, "All aboard."
The others forgot their argument, or at least put it to one side for the time being, and the seven ponies began to make their way over to the portal chamber. As they did, the normally quiet Mystic Chant spoke up.
"Softy, where are we going?"
"Nowhere important Mystic," the old butler replied, "We're just going to go check out this place where these crazy human worshippers have set up base. Some place in the Everfree forest. Probably just a little shantytown."
As they approached the portal, the ponies all held their breath.
"Have I mentioned yet how stupid this plan is?" asked Softy, "Yeah? Okay. Just checking."
***
As Gardens finally left for the valley beyond, Celestia and First were left alone in the mists. A single tear trailed down the princess's face. First walked over to stand next to her. The both of them said nothing for several minutes, just standing there in the chill of the mists and staring off into it.
"How many?" Celestia eventually asked, "For how long?"
"Your death was reported in the Equestria Daily the morning after," First answered, "Luna's yet to give a speech and there hasn't been a funeral yet, but just the news itself is enough to get emotions running high. There are those that fear you, of course, but most of Equestria knows the real you, knows the kind and loving mare who raises the sun for them every day. The thought of such a terrible thing happening to you was just too much for some. Gardens there was the ninth suicide victim I've had since the news came out."
Celestia shook her head.
"It feels like I only came here an hour ago," she commented, "Doesn't feel like morning to me."
"Time is running faster here than in the mortal world. For you anyway. My personal timeline is slowed down so I have time to sneak off and greet everypony who dies, but for you I've been accelerating it."
Celestia head snapped to the side to look at him.
"What for?" she asked seriously.
"So you don't have to wait so long."
"Wait for what?"
"For the call. You've still got a job to do, and you're still needed."
Celestia blinked. First just smiled at her and began to walk ahead of her.
"Come on princess," he called, "Come with me, and I'll show you how to kill a human."
***
"Woah. What isssssss thisssssss?"
"Dear sweet Celestia..."
"By the gods..."
"I can hardly believe it."
"It's impossible!"
"This shouldn't exist!"
"Oh...wow..."
This was no shantytown. The portal had taken them into the human worshipper's Everfree base alright, but this was NOT just a ramshackle little village thrown together at the last moment. Before them was a sprawling metropolis easily triple the size of Canterlot. There were skyscrapers and huge brick buildings one end and traditional wooden houses and more natural pony made structures towards the other.
In between there were parks and large outdoors areas, there was a water park with its own artificial beach, there was a huge open concert hall, there was a football stadium, there were multiple fast food chains all around, some familiar and others new, and there were a number of other public buildings dotted around which claimed to be, among other things, libraries, school houses, supermarkets, post offices, churches, and one which claimed to be an embassy.
The dominating feature of the town was a massive stone building that rose up out of the centre of it all, covered all over with ornate stone carvings and looking far older than it could have ever plausibly been. What it was exactly wasn't clear, but it was probably either a cathedral or just a palace. Celestia knew, Lord Second would need a palace that size to house his ego.
How had nopony seen this yet? The tallest buildings in this city easily dwarfed all the trees in the forest that used to be here, and which still surrounded the outsides of the town. Surely it was possible to see this city from Canterlot?
The stunned silence of the seven ponies was interrupted however, as a tan coloured pegasus with a big black cowboy hat landed right in front of them. He was smiling ear to ear, and was bursting with barely contained energy, much like Explodey McGee was in his more excitable moments. He walked up to them and began shaking their hooves one at a time.
"Howdy there!" the pegasus said, "The knights called ahead and said you was coming. I'm here as your tour guide. Mah name's Buckshot, y'all can just call me Buck."
Nopony said anything. They were still speechless.
"Well come on then! Everypony follow me," the pegasus instructed, "I'll show you around right now! Welcome to the city. This is Secopolis, USA."
END
Author's notes:
FUCK. TWELVE THOUSAND WORDS. Considering the last chapter was my shortest yet and this is so far my longest, I strongly suspect that I'm subconsciously overcompensating for everything. This took a while to write, but I made my self imposed deadline anyway. Hooray! Now if only I could write my other stories this quickly. Then again, I don't give myself just a week per chapter with those. I've had a lot of encouraging comments from people saying that they don't care about getting the chapter on time, just so long as they get a quality chapter. And while that's very sweet of all of you, surely you agree that getting out chapters sooner rather than later is still a good thing, no? I'd never dream of putting out an inferior product just so I can get it out on time. I am not Sega. So as long as I stick by that, I don't see anything wrong in trying to get these out speedily.
Now to address a concern that I know some of you are going to have right away; Yes. Prince Blueblood is a racist caricature of the British. However, I am British myself, so I'm allowed to do that. He's actually partially based on my dad. Stereotypes have to come from somewhere after all. They wouldn't exist if at least some people didn't conform to them. My dad is one of those living stereotypes. Blueblood's also partially based on Kent Paul from Grand Theft Auto, just so you know.
*sips tea*
As far as addressing criticisms go...I got nothing. Seriously, it's like all the commenters who were pointing out flaws in the story before just vanished. I don't know what happened honestly. I'm sure the story didn't just randomly take a huge leap in quality. Maybe it's because I haven't done anything really ambitious like a massive fight scene or killing off Celestia since then? Maybe they're still reading, but they consider any flaws still in the story too minor to be worth commenting on. I sure hope that's what it is anyway. I hope they haven't just given up on the story.
And finally, an update on the image, I have actually sought out an artist who does comissions, and have contacted her about a possible replacement for the current image. She has replied a few times, and I sent her the details of what I want, but I don't know if she's already working on it or not. Either way though, we may or may not be getting a new title image soon, so keep an eye out for that.
That's all for now, thanks for reading, you're all wonderful, see you next chapter.