Human

by DannyJ


Chapter 10: Magic Most Foul


"And when the dust settled and the sun and moon began to move once again, the Eternal reached out across the land, searching for any traces of his once great race, hoping desperately that they were not all destroyed.

'Where are they all?' he asked desperately, 'Am I the last one?'

However, the great destroyer had not succeeded in his goal. There was hope yet, for even though the last of the old dragons were all dead and gone, a new generation still survived. In a secluded cave high in the mountains, hidden away from the demon king's sight, nineteen unhatched eggs had survived the attempted genocide of the mighty dragons. They lay there, helpless, undefended, their mother just one of the many whose soul now laid dormant in the body of the immortal one.

The voices of the elders came to the Eternal, and told him;

'Our blood must continue to live on. Do not let our kind die this way. Care for the young as their mother did. Be the father of all dragons.'

And so he did so. The Eternal cared for and raised the nineteen dragons he found in that cave, making them into the true successors of those who came before them. Sadly, all the dragons were male, so there was no hope for a continuation of the once great race, but as long as the nineteen never died, there would always be dragons."

-The Nineteen, extract from The Light in the Sky volume 3.

***

A scaly red dragon dove from the sky and landed with a crash by the side of a large lake. Nearby, he spotted a group of ponies sitting in a small rowing boat and setting up some fishing rods. They stared over to the shore where the dragon stood, in awe at the sight of him. Nonvulvahlok gave them a simple nod of acknowledgement, and bent down to drink from the lake.

He felt a tremor as he did. The dragon's head shot up, and he looked behind him in alarm. In the direction of the Everfree, he felt a wail and scream of frustration. It was the sound of somepony in great need and distress.

However, upon listening to it closely and thinking about it for a second, the dragon realised that he couldn't possibly be hearing a pony. Ponies weren't that loud, even when they tried to be. What's more, Nonvulvahlok could feel this creature's emotions. He did not just hear its voice. He felt its rage, its fear, its desperation. Most of all though, he felt its sadness.

His eyes widened with shock.

"Bormahsedov!"

Those screams came from the Eternal. The father of all dragonkind. What monstrosity was so great that the Demon's Match himself was driven to such an emotional state? Nevertheless, he could not leave his elder in such a position. With one last look at the ponies in the small rowboat, Nonvulvahlok unfurled his wings and took to the sky again, flying in the direction of the Everfree.

***

"Not the most elegant of entrances," Soft Spoken said dryly, "I did say, didn't I? You should have let me talk to her. My special talent is talking ponies into things. There was no need to knock her out, and there was definitely no need to put her in that position, amusing as it may have been."

"Oh shut up Softy," Gold Coin replied.

"Listen to those two," Explodey commented, "Bitching and moaning at each other like an old married couple again."

"Hah!" Soft Spoken laughed, "I wish! He's ten times worse than my wife was."

"I didn't know you were married," said Gold Coin.

"I was. That hag is dead now, thank Luna. She was nice enough when I first married her, but little more than a month later she seemed to suddenly change into this brilliant creature that could jump onto a broomstick and fly off into the night. That mare is the reason why I'm still working. Didn't you wonder about the fact that I used to be an ambassador and a diplomat and a negotiator and several other things, and yet when we met I was a butler for Ancient Tome? That's because some time after I retired she took everything I had and ran off with it. And lost it all in casinos I might add."

"Damn, sorry to hear," the earth pony replied, "I did think it was a little odd for you to be working at your age. I mean, you're what now? Seventy? Eighty?"

"Hundred and thirty."

"Oh, hundred and- WAIT WHAT?!"

The group all stopped to stare at the old butler.

"What?" he said defensively.

"How the hell are you still alive?" asked Broad Sword, "The only pony I know who's that old has been dead since long before I was even born."

"Smooth, Broad Sword," said Gold Coin, "Real smooth."

Soft Spoken just frowned.

"Aren't you a royal guard?"

"Yeah. So?"

"So you work in Canterlot Castle? You know, with the thousand year old alicorn princesses?"

Broad Sword rolled his eyes.

"I meant, I don't personally know anypony else that old."

A sharp toothed Mystic Chant waved a hoof at him.

"Excussssse me? I'm sssstill here."

"And what do you mean you don't personally know anypony else that old?" asked Explodey, "So you do personally know the pony who's apparently been dead since before you were born? What does that imply Broad Sword? Do you have ghost problems in your house?"

The guard sighed.

"Forget I said anything."

For the moment, the subject of Soft Spoken's unusually long life was forgotten and buried at the back of the ponies' minds, along with all the other equally weird things that had happened to them in the past two or three days. Instead, they focused on the task ahead, and approached a wall with a number of colour coded signs.

The signs all pointed to different areas of the building, directing them to, among other places, administration, the biology labs, the canteen, the security station, physics research, magic research, cybernetics, the finance department, the test labs, the library, and something called the reality department.

"I'm not seeing any sign for prisons on here," Gold Coin commented, "Where do you think they're keeping him?"

"Security stations seems like the obvious place to start," Soft Spoken suggested.

"I agree."

"Security station it is."

***

Sun Rise climbed off the operating table slowly. His hoof clanked when it hit the floor. A cheery lab coat wearing scientist nearby held up a mirror to let the pegasus see himself. To say he was surprised was a massive understatement. He had more machinery on him than flesh.

Both of his back legs, his right fore hoof, and parts of his torso were all shiny chrome now instead of his natural orange, including part of his flank on his right side where his cutie mark used to be. Now, instead of a pair of flaming wings, his flank was adorned with the symbol of the Brotherhood of Man; a human fist.

His left wing was also gone, replaced with a skeletal metal construct covered with some strange leathery material that he couldn't quite place. It made him look like one of those bat pegasi. This must be what Night Shroud always felt like. And finally, his attention was drawn to his right eye, no longer a natural eye, but a ring of metal surrounding a glowing red light.

"Well?" said the scientist, "What do you think Mr. Sun Rise?"

The pegasus was speechless.

"I thought you'd say that. You're something quite special you know. You're the third cyberpony created today. Third one to exist ever for that matter, and the only one we've managed to replace so much of your biological functions for. You should be quite honoured! We're making history now my friend."

The scientist left him to stare at himself in the mirror and went over to see Iron Hoof.

"And what about you? How are you feeling?"

"Much better doc," the former royal guard answered, holding up his metallic hoof, "I think I better live up to my name now."

"Excellent! But I'm not a doctor. I'm a professor."

"Whatever."

Sun Rise continued to stare at his reflection. He brought up a metallic hoof to his cheek and touched it. His hoof felt cold against his face. Out of his natural eye, he began to cry slightly. He looked off to the side as two double doors opened nearby, and Bullseye strode into the lab.

"Okay everypony, pack up and evacuate. The Elements of Harmony have breached the building, and we can expect them to rain fiery death on us if we stick around here too long."

"The Elements of Harmony?" Ancient Tome repeated, "What's going on? What do you mean Elements of Harmony?"

Sun Rise was equally interested. He'd heard the legends of course, and was in fact a descendent of the original bearer of loyalty, Rainbow Dash, but the talk of the Elements coming to storm the building just left him confused. Hadn't the bearers been dead for a thousand years?

"I mean the new Elements," Bullseye clarified, "The successors of the original bearers, come to stop Emperor Second once again. They are wielded by Soft Spoken, Gold Coin, Explodey McGee, Broad Sword, Mystic Chant and Sliske."

Ancient Tome did a double take.

"WHAT?! DID YOU JUST SAY MYSTIC CHANT?!"

"Umm, yes. Why?"

"WHERE ARE THEY?! TELL ME WHERE!"

"Umm...They went to the security station. But-"

It was too late. The unicorn had already bolted out the room, leaving the remaining ponies alone. While everypony else began to rush about and pack up the lab equipment into containers, Sun Rise just turned back to the mirror, and continued to stare.

***

Commander Ulysses Throatfuck III waited in the security station for his targets to round the corner. At his side, four of the Knights of Man waited patiently, swords drawn. The commander himself preferred the much more personal touch of bludgeoning ponies with a mace instead, and so had taken the biggest, spikiest one he could find in the armoury for the job.

He felt a chill in the air, and that indicated that the alicorn was nearby. He turned around to see the pure white pony waiting behind him. It was stunning how she managed to have a mane of fire and yet still suck all the heat out of a room when she walked into it. She spoke in the voice of Lord Second.

"Commander, I want you to withdraw from this area. You will die soon, but the timing is incorrect. Your final fate is not until much later."

The commander winced at the news that he was expected to die soon, but knew better than to hold up the conversation with his own worries. He was a minor villain after all. It was his job to die mid-way through the story. There was no choice in the matter, and no sense getting hung up on it.

"What about when they arrive then?" he asked, "Will you fight them?"

"I shall," the alicorn answered, "And by I, I mean Host. I am still holding a very important concert right now, and I shall need to get on stage and perform again once MJ's finished, but rest assured I will be here later to face the Elements of Harmony in person and completely wreck their shit. Not that it'll do you any good, because you'll be dead by then, but maybe some of your knights will survive, so that's some small comfort for them I suppose."

The commander gulped.

"Yes sir. Everypony withdraw!"

***

"Okay, this is NOT the security station," said Explodey.

The group found themselves in a large room with very high ceilings. The whole place was a maze of desks and tables, upon which laid various different contraptions and chemicals and other assorted weirdness. Books were also a common sight, but most of them were restricted to the many bookshelves by the far wall.

"How the fuck did we get lost this time?" asked Gold Coin, "Weren't there were arrows pointing towards the place every five steps not seconds ago?"

"Knowing you lot, we probably followed the wrong arrows and didn't realise it," Soft Spoken reasoned.

"Ussssss lot? How are you exempt from the blame here?"

"Because I was following the rest of you."

"Yessssss, but you are the team leader, sssso you're ssssupposssed to be guiding usssss, not the other way around."

"Well where are we?" asked Explodey.

"Sign says this is the magic research lab," Broad Sword pointed out.

"Magic resssssearch? I'm intrigued."

The possessed colt wandered off into the lab and disappeared in amongst the desks and tables. With a mental shrug, Explodey and Broad Sword followed after him. Neither of the other two earth ponies wanted to go randomly exploring a lab full of potentially dangerous unicorn experiments, but also not wanting to be alone, they soon followed after their comrades.

"Hey! Come have a look at this!" called Explodey.

Soft Spoken and Gold Coin soon made their way over, and Explodey levitated a small ring up to show them.

"Do you know what this is?" he asked.

"Can't say I do, sonny," the old stallion answered.

"It's a magic enhancer!" the unicorn helpfully explained, "You clip this on your horn and it uses ambient magic in the air to power up all your spells! Ponies have been developing technology like this for years, but I've never seen one this effective before!"

"It looks a lot like that magic restraining bolt," Broad Sword commented.

"Oh, you mean like the one they used to hold Ancient Tome?" asked Soft Spoken.

"No, Broad Sword's talking about the one I was wearing, from that one time he sucked my horn."

"Wait, what?" asked Gold Coin.

The guard's face went red. He turned to the other two earth ponies.

"It's not like that!" he protested, "What Explodey means is, it's like that time I had to remove a magic restraining bolt that he had on, and we needed his magic because I was tied up at the time, and-"

"Wait," Soft Spoken interrupted, "So you were tied up and sucking another stallion's horn..."

"Stop taking my words out of context!"

"I'm sorry, just what exactly did you two get up to while the rest of us were battling Lord Second?"

"Oh," said Explodey, "We had quite the adventure, I assure you."

"Stop intentionally phrasing it like that!" Broad Sword shouted.

"I don't know what you mean Swordy."

He looked at the other two ponies again.

"I'm not gay. I swear I'm not."

"Suuuuuuuuuuure you aren't Broad Sword," Gold Coin replied.

Broad Sword just huffed angrily and stomped off. Once he was a fair distance away, the three remaining ponies burst into fits of laughter. Little did they realise at the time that Sliske had wandered off into the next room.

***

There was a booming sound as Nonvulvahlok landed atop a large office building overlooking Secopolis. His eyes swept the city in search of the Eternal. Idly, he wondered exactly how old this city was. Granted, it had been a good few centuries since he had last flown over the Everfree, but he couldn't help but think he would have known by now if the ponies had torn down half the forest to build a new city here.

If anything, projects like that usually required a dragon to come in first and deal with whatever threats there were to the construction. With such a large portion of the forest being destroyed, he expected that the city had endured no shortage of attacks by angry wildlife in its early days. Maybe even an Ursa Major or two.

Eh. Most likely, one of his fellow dragons had helped out in his place, and just never considered it worth mentioning. It had happened before. He still had not bothered to tell any of his brothers about the minotaur incident.

"Are you out there Elder?" he thought.

Closing his eyes, Nonvulvahlok sensed the presence of elder dragon souls. Thousands upon thousands of voices screamed in unison. That was most definitely the sound of the Aspect. He opened his eyes and looked in the direction of the screams. A huge silver cuboid off in the distance. He jumped off the building and flew towards it.

***

Ancient Tome rounded the corner and came almost face to face with a huge white alicorn. For a moment he was frozen with fear. The thing tilted its head and looked at him, but then spoke in the voice of the human.

"You are not the Elements of Harmony," it said, "Who are you and what are you doing here?"

"...L-Lord Second?" the old stallion replied.

"Yes?"

"Wow...You...became a pony..."

"Do not flatter yourself by thinking I would take such a form. This body is merely a construct I have sent after the Elements while I am busy elsewhere. It speaks my mind and I can see and hear through it, but this creature is not an expression of myself. It is just a sentry."

There was something uniquely humbling about the fact that Second used an alicorn as a mere sentry for when he was too busy to show up in person.

"I apologise my Lord," said Ancient Tome, "I...I came here looking for my son. I was told he was among the Elements of Harmony? What is happening?"

The alicorn furrowed its brow.

"Blue unicorn about yea high?"

"That's him."

"Yeah. He's with them."

"Well...Please my Lord! Spare him whatever punishment you had in mind! He's only a child. He's been pressured into this by those alicorn tyrants and those traitors Gold Coin and Soft Spoken. He doesn't really know anything about you! He doesn't know the full truth!"

"Oh, he knows the full truth alright. Do not worry yourself though. I have no intentions of harming the child. I can't say the same for that snake-tongued creature currently inhabiting him, but rest assured I will go out of my way to make sure he comes to no harm."

"Wait, what?" the bearded unicorn replied, "Did you say-"

"I do not have time to converse further with you. Those ponies are heading in this direction and a fight is about to break out. Get out of the Mages' Guild immediately, and don't let me see you here again."

***

Sliske had discovered the reality department by accident. The lab was surprisingly empty compared to the magic research department, but its content was far more interesting. Rather than being littered with experiments, it was mostly information and theories in here.

Moving over to one display, Sliske saw a poster of the Reaper's Horn showing all its components and parts. Additional notes underneath it explained what each one was and how it operated, and other notes speculated on how this weapon was able to harm the goddesses without magical enchantments of any kind being made on it. Many of the notes made reference to other books and projects within the department's research, but it was mostly incomprehensible.

Recalling an old trick he learned from an earth pony he had possessed some two thousand years ago, Sliske set about memorising the poster as best as possible. They weren't exactly step by step instructions, but this poster told him everything he needed to know on how to construct one of these himself. Maybe it wouldn't be a God-killer like Second's one was, but if he had one of these it would be a tremendous help.

"Doc?"

Sliske turned his head to see Broad Sword waiting in the doorway.

"Hello Broad Sssssssword. What'ssss the matter?"

"Nothing's the matter doc. Just thought I'd come to see you," the guard replied, "How are you holding up?"

Sliske turned away from Broad Sword and resumed memorising the poster.

"Fine. Why wouldn't I be? Why would you think I wasssssn't?"

The white earth pony trotted over to his side and sat down next to him.

"Your sudden change of host for one thing. What happened to Arcane Arts? I know she's dead, but nopony's told me anything about what actually killed her."

Sliske gave him a brief sideways glance.

"Ssssssecond. Tore me out of her through the throat."

"He can do that?" asked Broad Sword.

"Yesssss. He wassssss imitating the tacticsssss of the Klkrmizk. The Ghosssst Eaterssssss."

The guard raised an eyebrow.

"What are they?"

"Predatorsssssss from my world. They feed on membersssss of my racccccce."

Broad Sword's surprise was evident.

"No way! Really?! You're telling me that your race are prey?!"

The alien nodded.

"But you said you're a legend here! You're up there with Nightmare Moon and Discord! What are these things that actually eat creatures like you?"

The possessed unicorn sighed.

"Did you honesssssssstly think creaturessss like myssssself could be the dominant raccccce on my home world? Why elssssse would we evolve an ability to posssssssssessssss the bodiessss of physssssical beingsssssss if not to hide from ssssomething worssssse? It isssss a defencccce mechanisssssssm to help protect ussss from the Klkrmizk, who feed on the kind of energy that our bodiesssssss are composssssed of. When we hide in a flessssh body, we are ssssafe. Unlessssss a Klkrmizk pullssss ussssss out with magic like Sssssssecond did. That can happen."

Broad Sword blinked.

"Wow. I'm sorry doc. I had no idea."

"There issssss nothing to be sssssorry about. It'sssssss not like there are any Klkrmizk here. I haven't had to worry about them for nearly two thousssssssand yearssssss now."

"But what Lord Second did must have reminded you. Right?"

Sliske paused.

"I have never been more terrified in my life," he answered honestly.

"...Have you ever encountered any? Back home, I mean?"

Sliske didn't answer. Instead, he finished with the poster, and the teeth and eyes changed back to how they were before, signalling Mystic Chant's return. The little blue colt gave Broad Sword a half smile.

"He says he doesn't want to talk about it."

***

Sun Rise wobbled slightly with each step, not quite able to keep pace with the others. The incredible weight of all his metal parts was alien to him. He was more machine than pony at this point, and he was reminded of that with every loud clank of his armoured hooves. He flexed his artificial wing and looked back at it. He wondered if he could even fly with it, or if it was just there for his comfort.

He looked forward again and continued to follow Iron Hoof and Frosty Morning as they made their way out of the Mages' Guild with Bullseye and the scientists. His mind wandered back to his days in the Wonderbolts, and he wondered what they would be doing right now. He would have to call Lightning again some time. It had been ages since they had last gone out drinking together.

"Come on, the portal's just in this room," said Bullseye.

The cyberpony turned and entered the room, and had to stop for a moment and really think about it before he remembered that a building this size having its own portal system was weird. The energy requirements alone meant that even actual portal stations never had any more portals than was absolutely necessary. This was pissing away money just for the sake of it.

Frosty Morning disappeared into the portal wordlessly, followed by a few of the scientists, but Iron Hoof hung back to speak with Bullseye.

"Will Tomey be okay in here?" he asked.

"None of my business," the tan pegasus replied, "I said we were evacuating, and he decided he'd rather head deeper into the war zone instead. If you're that stupid, you deserve to die. We call that natural selection."

A bearded grey unicorn entered the room behind him halfway through his sentence.

"One, fuck you, and two, fuck you a lot."

"Same to you, grandpa. Now get in the portal."

Ancient Tome and Iron Hoof quickly moved on through to wherever this portal decided to take them. Once they were through, the last of the doctors and scientists followed after, leaving just the two pegasi standing awkwardly in an otherwise empty room.

"Well?" said Bullseye, "You going?"

Sun Rise looked back at his wing again.

"...Yeah. I suppose I am."

He trotted over towards the swirling black sphere. Before he jumped through, he turned to look at Bullseye again.

"Am I ever going to get used to this?" he asked.

Bullseye just shook his head.

***

Celestia's eyes flickered open, and she stared up at a blue sky above her. She felt exhausted and she had the headache to end all headaches. The princess tried to pick herself up, but the pain prevented her from moving too much. A shadow was cast over her, as a human head appeared above and blotted out the sun. Lord First looked down at her.

"Well, that went better than expected," he said, "I know I would give you screen time for that. Wouldn't you?"

The princess growled at him.

"You!" she shouted, "You tried to destroy the sun! Do you have any IDEA how dangerous what you did was?! And only thirty seconds?! What if I couldn't have remade it?! I thought you changed, I thought you were responsible now!"

"I am responsible. There was never any time limit, and I could have remade the sun myself as quickly as I got rid of it. That wasn't the point though. The point was to make you do it. I had to make you give a demonstration of power and competency that would make you interesting in the eyes of our human audience and make you worthy of becoming a central character in the work of fiction that is our lives. And really, I don't think that could have gone any better. Between this, your death, and your upcoming resurrection, I think you're worthy of main character status now."

Celestia frowned.

"How would you know?" she asked.

First leaned down and placed a hand on her forehead. Immediately, the princess felt her headache disappear.

"Try to knock me back with your magic," he instructed, "If you're a main character, Dramatic Convenience should allow you to somehow bypass my natural magical resistance and hurt me."

No longer in immense pain, Celestia now had no trouble getting back on her hooves. She looked around her, and saw that they were standing alone on a grassy hilltop a little way above the rest of the valley. Most of the ponies below barely seemed to notice them, though a few were gathered around the base of the hill watching.

She actually recognised a few faces down there. One of her old advisors was present, smiling at her, and looking a lot younger and more energetic than she remembered him. Another was a previous student she'd had a century or two before Twilight. That colt over there was the Mayor of Fillydelphia about five hundred years ago, and there was an earth pony couple over there who she recognised as old members of the Apple family, whom she had helped found Ponyville with by giving them the land where they would go on to build Sweet Apple Acres.

The princess returned their encouraging smiles and looked back over to First. The human folded his arms and nodded at her.

Celestia's horn began to glow.

***

A lone alicorn stood in the security station, doing absolutely nothing.

"Fuck it," said Second, "This is taking too long."

Next to the beast, a wall exploded, and Host jumped through it and ran down the corridor beyond in search of her targets.

***

Nonvulvahlok landed next to the metal cuboid and walked up to it slowly. On the ground, several ponies scrambled to get out of his way and avoid being crushed underfoot. Not that he would ever do such a thing of course, but evidently they did not know that. He reached the metal wall and listened closely to it.

"BORMAHSEDOV. ARE YOU IN THERE?"

He was shouting loudly even by dragon standards, and dragons could be loud. It was a safe bet that if a pony was standing right in front of him as he spoke at that volume, they would go deaf, but fortunately that did not seem to be a problem right now. Good thing too, because he needed to make sure that he was heard.

A voice replied from the other side of the wall. It was clearly just as loud a shout as he was using, but the sound was muffled by the metal walls.

"I am, Nonvulvahlok. I am being held in here by ponies. They tricked me. They trapped me in here, and when I melt the walls down they grow back faster than I can destroy them."

Nonvulvahlok frowned. He looked around at the ponies who had fled from him, who now cowered by the roadside some distance away from him. The ringleaders appeared to be a zebra and one of those bat pegasi that Luna employed for her night guards.

He sighed. Yes, it was ponies who were responsible for this, but he didn't know it was them specifically. No use terrorising ponies who he didn't know for sure actually did this. It was better that he should focus on rescuing the Eternal first.

"WE SHALL DOUBLE OUR EFFORTS. YOU BURN IT FROM YOUR SIDE, I SHALL FROM MINE. TOGETHER, WE MAY BE ABLE TO MELT IT FASTER THAN IT CAN REGROW."

"We can only try. I shall begin."

Nonvulvahlok drew in his breath.

***

It hadn't taken long for the group to reunite and continue their search for the security station. Rather than find the security station however, they had instead ran into the biology department, where they were now wandering around aimlessly and getting even more distracted by random experiments.

"Hey, what is this thing?" asked Soft Spoken.

Explodey McGee scrutinized the Petri dish full of a strange blue liquid, and consulted some nearby notes in an open book.

"No idea," he answered eventually, "Hmm. Maybe Sliske would know. HEY SLISKE!"

Mystic Chant wandered over.

"Sliske can't come right now," he said, "It's not his turn."

Explodey raised an eyebrow.

"Well we need to talk to him right now," he explained.

Mystic glared at him.

"It's not. His. Turn."

Explodey returned his glare.

"Kid-"

Before they could argue though, an explosion down the hall interrupted them, followed by the sound of Gold Coin screaming like a little filly. Explodey, Mystic and Soft Spoken all turned to look at the door into the biology labs just as the business pony charged in, sweating all over.

"Guys," he said between breaths, "I don't want to worry you or anything, but..."

He didn't get a chance to elaborate further. The huge white alicorn bursting through the wall behind the ponies and turning to stare at them said it all.

"RUN!" Explodey shouted.

The four ponies all bolted out the same way Gold Coin came in and galloped down the corridor together. Mystic Chant to his credit did not cry in fear this time, though he was still obviously terrified, and behind them they could hear the sound of the alicorn smashing through walls and blowing things up.

"Wait! What about Broad Sword?!" asked Soft Spoken as they continued to run.

"Oh shit, I forgot about him," Gold Coin replied.

Mystic Chant's teeth began to grow.

"You two go on ahead, I will ressssscue Broad Sssssword and ssssssee if I can do anything about the alicorn."

"Oh no you fucking aren't!" Gold Coin shouted, "I'm coming with you!"

"Don't be stupid Goldie. You'll just get yourself killed," Soft Spoken argued.

The business pony grinned.

"No I won't."

As they ran, Gold Coin reached over his back and pulled something from an unseen source. It was like he was drawing it out of an invisible pocket. It didn't really make much sense. That could all be forgiven though, because even more nonsensically, Gold Coin had just pulled out the Reaper's Horn, causing the other ponies' eyes to bug out.

"WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT?!" screamed Explodey.

"Picked it up after Chain Mail killed Buckshot," the earth pony answered, "Thought it might come in handy."

The group looked behind them and saw Host smash through another wall and emerge into the same corridor they were in.

"Well don't just grin like an idiot!" Soft Spoken ordered, "Fucking shoot that thing!"

The business pony happily obliged. The group stopped running and skidded to a halt as they reached a bend in the corridor that took them to the left. Gold Coin twisted around to face the charging monstrosity and held up the legendary weapon in his mouth. His tongue worked it's way around the trigger and he pulled against it.

He had not been expecting the recoil, and the gun flew out of his mouth and whacked him over the head, but it still fired, and it seemed to hit its target.

The weapon's title was not undeserved. Even though she was roughly as powerful as Princess Celestia, the alicorn was knocked almost to the other end of the hallway by the force of the blast, and her chest and neck were suddenly covered in blood that poured out of multiple wounds. Sliske was shocked by the gun's effectiveness, distinctly remembering that it had no such effect on the actual princess.

If he built another Reaper's Horn from the specifications he had picked up, it would probably only work at short range and do minimal damage. The Reaper's Horn however had special qualities beyond its physical properties, which is what made it the legendary God-killer. Consequentially, its power level and effectiveness seemed to wildly fluctuate. This weapon was unpredictable.

"...Well fuck," said Gold Coin.

"Issss it dead?" asked Sliske.

At the other end of the corridor, the alicorn climbed back onto her hooves again, and all her wounds magically disappeared, the blood flowing back in and the cuts closing up and vanishing. Now she just looked even angrier.

"Nope."

***

Broad Sword walked into the next room in search of his friends, and found only an ambush waiting for him. A teal blue earth pony stallion grinned at him, backed up by no less than nineteen of the Knights of Man, who crowded not just the room he had walked into, but the corridors and side rooms beyond as well.

"Aha!" the commander gloated, "We have you now Element of Loyalty! It is hopeless to resist! Any attempt to escape will result in pain, misery, and death! And I, Commander Ulysses Throatfuck III shall-"

"I surrender."

"...What?"

"I surrender."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. I'm outnumbered, surrounded, you all have better weapons and I'm fighting in your territory. I surrender."

Commander Throatfuck blinked.

"You can't do that!" he shouted, "We're supposed to order your surrender, you refuse, we fight, several of my ponies die, and you will escape injured but alive and with information on our plans! That's what Lord Second said would happen!"

"Yeah. But it's not. Because I surrender."

"That is not how you say 'I would rather die than be your prisoner!'"

"Of course it's not. Because I surren-"

"He's resisting arrest! Everypony attack!"

The Knights of Man all drew their weapons, (mostly swords but a few had maces), and rushed across the room at the defenceless guard. Broad Sword closed his eyes, expecting to be sliced apart or beaten to death by the knights, but was saved at the last moment. There was an explosion above. The ceiling shattered, and several more ponies came tumbling into the scene.

Several of the knights were crushed under the impact of the falling ponies and debris, but not fatally. Those not hit by falling objects backed away from the centre of the room, watching as the new ponies got up and dusted themselves off.

Gold Coin coughed loudly.

"We are never, doing that, again..."

It took Broad Sword a moment to realise that he was covered in blood now. He began to freak out, especially as it then suddenly turned into green sludge and started crawling off him across the floor. He only stopped once it was all off him and had reformed into Explodey McGee again, who shook his head and stomped at the floor to try and get his bearings.

Soft Spoken looked over at the guard.

"Oh. Hello Broad Sword. We were looking for you. How convenient."

"Broad Sssssssword, we have a problem. There issssss a-"

An alicorn dropped into the room behind the alien. It landed with such force that the floor cracked where its hooves made impact. Gold Coin whipped around and drew the Reaper's Horn again.

"DUCK AND COVER!" Commander Throatfuck ordered.

Gold Coin fired, and the alicorn was launched through another wall by the incredible force of the human weapon, with the yellow earth pony this time managing to keep a grip on the gun. Several of the knights were knocked away by Host as she was launched back, and those that weren't quickly made themselves scarce. Only the commander seemed to be okay, and even he was rubbing his head and groaning.

"Oh look," said Sliske, "It'ssss that pony I promisssssed to kill."

"Don't you dare," Soft Spoken warned.

The alien glared up at him.

"Why not?"

"Basic morals! Don't kill the innocent or helpless! You voted for me as acting leader, this is me leading! No more pointless killing!"

"Is killing a major threat, like say an insane, rampaging alicorn okay?" asked Gold Coin.

"Sure. Why not?"

The business pony held the gun up above him in his teeth and reared up on his back legs.

"I AM GOLD COIN! MIGHTY ALICORN HUNTER! RAAAAAAGHH!"

The yellow earth pony charged out of the room and through the broken wall Host had been smashed through. The commander and the remaining injured knights just stared through the hole in disbelief.

"Should we help him?" asked Broad Sword.

There was a sound of angry screaming and more gunfire from the room beyond the broken wall.

"I'd say he has the situation under control," said the old butler, "I suggest we go find that security station now and release Chain Mail and Spike."

"Oh, Chain Mail isn't in the security station."

The remaining members of the group all turned to look at Commander Throatfuck.

"Well, where is he then?"

"Cybernetics Department upstairs."

"Okay. And while you seem to be helping us, how might we go about releasing Spike the Eternal from the dragon prison?"

"There are a group of four unicorns maintaining the regenerative metal that's foiling the dragon's attempts to melt the prison walls. If they stop casting it, Spike will be able to break out by himself. You'll find them in the physics lab down the hall."

"Why are you helping us?" asked Explodey.

"Because Lord Second said that I should give as much exposition as possible and ensure that I keep the story moving in the right direction."

"...Come again?"

The commander sighed.

"Because the world doesn't make any fucking sense, and you'd better get used to it. Also I have to die now."

Soft Spoken raised an eyebrow.

"Why?"

"Lord Second says so. As a minor villain, I am to be killed off at this point, so that I may never be seen or referenced ever again."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Commander Throatfuck drew his sword.

"PRAISE LORD SECOND!"

And then he impaled himself.

***

The four surviving Brotherhood ponies had emerged into a grey stone castle keep. Bullseye followed after them, and the portal closed again. Ancient Tome looked around him, and saw that they were covered on all sides by members of the Knights of Man, who stood at attention and guarded every doorway.

"Where are we?" the unicorn asked.

"Fort First," Bullseye replied, "It's located on the outskirts of Secopolis, and it is the main base of operations for the Knights of Man. Originally, they were meant to be an order of protectors and bodyguards just like me and Buckshot, who would defend the emperor and be more highly ranked than anypony else.

"Over time though, Second thought of more ideas for his immediate underlings, and the knights slowly became obsolete. Eventually, he decided to downgrade them from their position as an exclusive order of elites to merely the foot soldiers of his army. When he made the decision to make them into rank and file soldiers, a base of operations and a purpose was needed, so Second created Fort First and tasked them with defending the borders of Secopolis from the Everfree wildlife."

Ancient Tome looked around at the fort curiously.

"It is also the place where Second arranged accommodation for yourself and the other ponies of the Brotherhood of Man. Frosty Morning and Sun Rise here have already seen their rooms, but yourself and Mr. Hoof have yet to see yours. Allow me to escort you there."

Bullseye trotted past the ponies purposefully and approached one of the nearby doors, which two of the knights opened for him. Frosty gave Tome and Iron a sympathetic smile.

"Go with him," she encouraged, "You won't be disappointed."

"Where will you be?" asked Iron Hoof.

"I'm going back to my own room. My filly needs me right now."

"You mean Star's here?" said Tome, "You brought her with you?"

"I couldn't very well leave her back home while her mother was off in a whole other city with Lord Second, could I? She's a bit confused and doesn't know what's going on yet, bless her, but she's taking it well. I left her in the care of one of the guards. When you've seen your rooms, why not come around and say hello? It's been so long since she saw her uncles."

The old stallion smiled.

"Sure. Of course we will, Frosty."

Bullseye called out across the courtyard.

"Hey! Starswirl! Get the fuck over here! I ain't waiting all day!"

The bearded unicorn gritted his teeth.

"I am going to kill that pony one day."

***

The group had decided to split up again. With Host and Gold Coin battling to the death somewhere else in the building, (where, they weren't exactly sure, because they were smashing through so many walls that the location seemed to change frequently), the remaining four had to fan out to find everything they needed. Broad Sword and Explodey had gone together to go find the cybernetics department and rescue Chain Mail, while Soft Spoken accompanied Sliske in the direction of the physics department to put a stop to the unicorns who were holding Spike in the Embassy.

"This is the most dangerous thing I've done in my entire life," said the old pony as they ran down the hall.

"Not even closssssse for me," Sliske replied.

They reached a corner. Softy held up a hoof to tell the alien to stop, and he peaked around the corner. Two of the Knights of Man were running about frantically down there. The corridors ahead crisscrossed, and one of the knights was staring down one of the side corridors that Softy couldn't see and gesturing to his partner to come watch.

"Guards ahead," the former butler whispered, "We should try to sneak by."

"Couldn't we jussssssst kill them both and be done with it?"

Soft Spoken smacked himself in the face with his hoof. He remembered a time when he never needed to raise his voice to anypony, and he actually lived up to his name. His frothing rant to Ancient Tome several days ago about how he and the Brotherhood were all idiots was the first time he had shouted in years. Nowadays he was shouting so much he was certain he would lose his voice soon. It was all he could do to not rage at Sliske again.

"No," he said quietly, "Like I told you, no more needless violence. From now on, if you can spare a pony, do it. Never kill unless you need to. Is that so hard?"

"Yessss it issss."

"No more murder."

"Ssssspoiled sssssport."

***

A hole began to open in the metal. Nonvulvahlok let up his stream of fire and clawed at it. On the other side, he saw a flash of purple and tried to reach through at it, but the hole began to immediately close again, the metal growing back over it like a scab forming over a wound. He countered with more fire, which seemed to hold it at bay for the time being. The hole was far too small for the Eternal to even fit a hand through, let alone use to escape, but the sound from inside now carried better.

"Progress!" Spike said enthusiastically, "Keep it up. We're getting through. It's slow, but we're doing it."

The scaly red dragon did not have time to reply, instead focusing all his energy into breathing in deep breaths and expelling more fire onto the now red hot metal wall. The point where the dragons on both sides were heating the metal was where the hole had formed, and with continued application of heat, the hole was slowly expanding.

A river of liquid metal flowed past the dragon's feet. It was annoying, but liquid metal was still little more than an inconvenience for a dragon of his size and power. What did worry him was the damage it was going to do. A puddle of the silvery steaming liquid was slowly spreading out from the former site of the Secopolis Embassy and was slowly creeping towards the rest of the city. It had already made its way over the small green area outside the site of the embassy, and soon enough it would reach the roadside.

It was only moving slowly. He doubted anypony would be in any danger of getting caught up in it, but that didn't mean it couldn't destroy property. It somewhat went against his morals to potentially cause damage to their homes and businesses, but this seemed to be the only way he could rescue his elder from the prison that these ponies had themselves created. He really hoped he wouldn't have to consider these ponies his enemies for this indignity they had inflicted on his elder.

Ponies were meant to be friends.

***

Broad Sword and Explodey McGee finally arrived in the cybernetics lab. The whole place was filled with all kinds of fancy gadgets and machinery. There were large clear glass cylinders full of green liquid in one corner, an operating table in the centre of the lab, mechanical limbs and organs on a side counter, what appeared to be a generator of some kind on another, and an open cabinet nearby revealed boxes and tins full of spare parts and wires used for building these things.

The walls were all decorated with blueprints for various designs. The two ponies looked around in wonder at the many creative inventions that these blueprints proposed. One of them was a super advanced jetpack for heavy earthbound creatures, like cows and minotaurs. Another was for a processor that would turn grass into synthetic meat, which perfectly imitated the real thing, right down to nutritional values. There was even a design for a suit of winged power armour for aerial combat.

"Woah..." said Broad Sword.

"Chain Mail's gotta be around here somewhere," Explodey observed, "Maybe there's a prison cell or something in the rooms beyond. Let's go have a look."

Broad Sword was ignoring him however, and had gone over to the table to inspect all gadgets there. He was currently fiddling with a mechanical imitation of a human hand, that he could fit onto his hoof. Already he was flexing his fingers with it.

"This is trippy as hell," the guard commented.

Explodey looked unamused.

"Look, far be it from me to play the serious one, but our friend's here somewhere, and he needs our help. We don't have time to play around with gadgets here, much as we would like."

"Hey, you got that magic enhancer," Broad Sword protested, "I should get to steal some tech as well!"

Explodey looked tempted, and levitated another device off the table with his magic. It appeared to be a small metal cylinder with a single button on it.

"What do you think this does?" he asked.

He pressed down on the button, and both ponies jumped back as a beam of solid blue light shot out of the end and glowed gently, making a humming sound and occasionally flickering.

"Wow...It's a laser sword...."

Broad Sword stepped forward and grabbed the handle in his teeth, losing interest in the imitation hand and tossing it aside. Explodey let go and backed away, and the guard swished his new toy around in the air. He scraped the tip of the blade across the floor, and sparks flew up. Drawing back, he saw that where the blue light had touched was now a glowing orange scar in the flooring.

"Looks like it's hot," said Explodey, "Doesn't it burn you to hold it?"

"It doesn't feel hot," Broad Sword replied.

"...Can you use that thing?"

"Hell yeah I can use it. My special talent is swordplay after all. The name has to come from somewhere, right?"

Explodey smiled, but the two ponies were then interrupted by the sound of unnatural mechanical breathing, and a deep voice coming from the other doorway that lead into the rest of the department.

"Your talent is strong rookie, but you are not a royal guard yet."

The unicorn looked over at the doorway, and Broad Sword turned around to see who the intruder was as well. Standing there, blocking their path, was huge earth pony clad in black armour. The armour covered him all over, with a control panel with several buttons on his chest and a weird combination of a helmet and a strange mask with a triangular mouth covering his head.

Broad Sword turned back to Explodey with a confused look.

"Who the fuck is this guy?"

***

Gold Coin was launched backwards through a wall. He hit a bunch of shelves in the room beyond and fell on his back in a pile of debris. He jumped up again and stared intently through the hole in the wall in front of him, and several other broken walls beyond. Almost the four rooms away, the alicorn returned his stare.

The business pony groaned in pain and rubbed his back gently. All things considered, he was doing very well. After being knocked out cold not days ago by Chameleon throwing him against a wall a few times, the fact that he was now being smashed through several of them and still being conscious, let alone still standing, was a marvellous novelty to him. It was like he had suddenly taken several levels in competency and skill that he didn't have before.

He couldn't explain it. Something was different. He shouldn't be able to hold his own against a Goddess, whether he had the Reaper's Horn or not, but somehow he was. Not only that, he felt a lot differently too. He was scared to even come in here before, but now he felt confident. Brave even. He didn't know what had changed, but he certainly wasn't complaining. He liked being competent Gold Coin. So much better than regular Gold Coin.

Host scraped a hoof against the floor and bowed her head. She charged down the pathway through the destroyed rooms that their fight had created, horn ahead of her so that she could gore her enemy with it. Gold Coin reached down and picked up the gun in his teeth again. He grinned darkly, and charged at her as well.

***

Meanwhile at Second's concert...

***

As the next act marched out on stage, Second sat back in his chair again and held up the bottle of whiskey again. He looked at it closely and squinted at the label. He shrugged, and threw the bottle over his shoulders, causing his nearby assistant to give him an odd look.

"Apparently it's a lot harder for me to get drunk than it was before," he explained, "Not that we can't fix that. HEY BARKEEP!"

An unshaven brown earth pony with a cutie mark of a bottle of gin trotted over obediently and sat down in front of Second's chair.

"Yes my Lord?"

"Barkeep, bring me enough alcohol to kill a thousand rock stars! This is going to be the greatest party of all time, one way or another!"

END




















Author's notes:

Yo. Imma keep this short because these author's notes sections can get really longwinded and they pad out the word count for my chapters unnecessarily, so let's just cut to the chase.

Yes, I'm late. Sorry. There were issues to deal with. Big issues. Not like the magazine, but like issues. I'm doing everything here between A-levels, you must understand, and I'm collaborating with a few other bros of mine on other projects, and they've been getting real impatient that I finished off the next chapter of the story I'm working on with them, and I also have been working on another short story project between all this (neither pony related, for those curious).

Anyway, there's a new deleted scenes chapter to compensate for that, so you're getting extra today. You're welcome.

That's it for now. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it, don't feed the Klkrmizk and beware of rogue Sith lords. DJ out.