• Member Since 26th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen August 15th

Kriegor


I write things.

T

"A massive, artificial behemoth made of metal tore through our skies. It loomed over our world, blotting out Celestia's sun and shrouding Luna's moon, leaving those below in the shadows. It sowed chaos and conflict on our nation, something that had not happened in more than a millennium."

"It sits high above us, watching and waiting. What is this monster, and what is to be the fate of Equestria?"



Season Two starts 10/18/16!


Cover art by Conicer!

Chapters (52)
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Comments ( 2188 )

Do leave a comment!

*claps*Impressive!!

Good story, not the best,but it's your first one so you just need more practice. Maybe I like it more because of the SciFi theme...doesn't matter. The point is you have very good start for your journey as a writer,don't waste it!:rainbowdetermined2:

Nicely done! You really got me hooked and I am looking forward to seeing more in the near future.

Is it "recognizance" or "reconnaissance"? Given the context, I think the latter is more likely.

128539 Thanks for pointing that out :twilightblush:

Space traveling humans in the Pony Verse? Cool.

If you need any ideas or references or anything, this other story called "Article 2" has a similar story style to this one. You should go check it out.

You certainly have my attention with that chapter. This could be good.

woah for your first fic this is awesome is this entire idea and all original or is this a crossover with other ideas anyway please continue keep up the great work :pinkiehappy:

I really like this so far :)
How long till the next part? I can see this being really good.

Why didn't I tag this earlier

Another amazing chapter you should try to get this onto EqD its that good. Im also surprised that this hasn't been featured in the top bar thing at the top of the FIMfiction website I mean this story deserves more views and attention so please continue writing this has now reached up to my top 10 favorite fan fictions that I have ever read and its only on the first chapter :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

*Tracking* Srsly, this is gonna be Epic! :pinkiegasp:

Thank you so much for the support :rainbowkiss: I'm currently trying to get one chapter each couple of days :raritywink::twilightsmile:

Keep providing links. i have a good enough imagination to get a rough idea of an object, but i like to see pictures because i want to know what it's really supposed to look like.

Links aside, i really enjoy this story so far and can't wait for the next update.

As long as the story is told well, and the reader can reasonably infer what the vehicle is supposed to look like, I do not think it is necessary to include lengthy physical descriptions those vehicles. That is, PR-83 Advanced hover tank would be fine, since "hover" and "tank" give the reader the basic idea of the vehicles purpose and (at least to some extent) appearance (i.e. it is a floating tank of some kind). As long as you provide the basic... template for the reader, it should be fine to leave it up to our imaginations. Besides, a poorly done description can sometimes do more harm than good, bogging down the story and interrupting the flow(?) of the writing. Finally, there is the fact that you admitted you dislike providing such descriptions, which would make the story less enjoyable for you to write, which would me slower updates for us readers (yes, I am being rather selfish here)

Of course, illustrations are always welcome, and I can't see any problem with the addition of links to appropriate images, just don't feel obligated to do so for every new vehicle or piece of technology you introduce.

Finally, there has been a couple of events in the story that have been bugging me a bit. First, there appears to be no communication barrier between the ponies and the humans. Luna and the others at the crash site were able to understand the video recording just fine, and in this chapter it is revealed that the ponies can understand the humans' written language as well (admittedly, evidence from the show indicates that the ponies do speak and write in English). Is there going to be an explanation for this in the story, or was that done for the sake of the plot? Secondly, the ponies note that the name of the ship is the U.S.S. Vector, and then ask, as Rainbow Dash puts it, "'Vector’? The hay is a ‘Vector’?". Rainbow Dash not knowing isn't really unexpected, but I am shocked that Twilight has never heard of the word, considering its use in mathematics and physics.

This review went on a bit longer than intended, but I hope you find it useful. I enjoyed this latest chapter, and will be keeping eye out for future updates.

132744 Well, I don't really have a problem adding links to images. After all, an image is worth a thousand words, right? As for the writing, from what I've seen from the show the ponies' writing is very similar to ours, it seems to be a little simpler, perhaps due to the fact that earth ponies and pegasi have to write with their mouths, so I don't think they'd have much of a problem understanding our writing. And to answer your second second concern regarding the ponies not knowing what a 'Vector' is, more will be explained eventually.

Oh, also, about the images and such. It is really hard to describe something like a tank from the point of view of a pony, and doing it from the point of view of a human would be sorta pointless, they all know what a tank is. It's like describing colour to a man that was born blind, you could give him a concept about it, but it wouldn't be good enough.

132831

I understand about the writing being similar. As I pointed out earlier, we have seen the ponies writing in English. My point was that such a coincidence (identical written and spoken languages for two completely different civilizations from completely different planets) is INCREDIBLY unlikely, and was wondering if it was going to be a plot point. Of course, even if the languages were different, there are many other interesting connections between the two, from similarities in architecture and tools to the fact that pegasi, unicorns, dragons, etc. exist in our mythology. I am interested in how these connections will be addressed.

Links to images -> yes. I felt it really helped get your point across as to what something looked like. For instance, I probably would have never of thought what some of those armors looked like had you not posted those links.

Crysis 2 OST piece at that moment -> OH HELL YES! Perfect!! Really made me get a feel for what the ponies were feeling when they saw the Vector. I got to tell you, if I were a pony and I saw that ship coming my way, I probably would have shit myself.

Yes, definitely glad that I tracked this and gave it 5 stars after reading the prologue. Continue the amazing work that you are doing.

Oh and not to step on any toes or anything but I did find one probable mistake that you made in this chapter. When you wrote: "They passed through the motor pool, were pilots were climbing into their walkers," Did you mean "where" instead of "were"? That was the only thing that really stood out to me.

ooooo this reminds me of the plot in Heroes and Allies humans appearing right before or at the start of a war with the griffons/other race and the story is awesome as always cant wait for more, keep up the great work :pinkiehappy:

Wait wait. Did they seriously conscript a new mother? Doesn't that seem a little...unrealistic given the setting? I mean yeah the circumstances are extreme but that seems to be one hell of a stretch. Also they're conscripting the mane 6 but they're not being taken separately? I mean they do represent pretty much the ultimate magic item, wouldn't they be getting orders from the princess herself rather than conscripted into the general military?

What rank is Atlas? I mean he's talking to an admiral shouldn't he be a bit more polite? Or formal?

The whole thing felt a bit rushed to me. I think this could have used a lot more thinking. Though the meeting bit was cute, I'm surprised none of the adult ponies got involved after they saw the kids not turned into swiss cheese.

143916 Carrot Cake was conscripted, not Miss Cupcake. And the mane six are conscripted, too, yeah, but you'll learn more about that. Besides, the elements can't make an entire country of angry Gryphons back away.

I understand your feeling about this chapter feeling like it could've been much better, I feel the same way, I just couldn't find a good source of inspiration for this one, I even re-did it a couple times.

Oh, and these 'Adult' ponies were scared to death by a zerba wearing a cloak. How about three creatures with no faces, twice their size, that came from what they think is the eater of worlds?

And about Atlas, that'll be explained, soon...I guess

143981

Ahh, my miss. I thought she was. Ok I can buy all of that. But even then, I can't believe that Applejack wouldn't have chased after Applebloom. I wouldn't expect death itself would stop her from protecting her little sister. If any of the girls had parents that were regular characters I imagine they would have gone out there but since Applejack's the closest thing and given her fierceness I'm surprised you didn't have her pop out.

I'd still imagine they'd take volunteers before before going straight to conscription, especially with the amount of loyalty most ponies show towards their country I can't imagine conscription would be necessary.

One thing I didn't quite get, did the Vector appear in the atmosphere proper or are they closer to space? If they're in the atmosphere I'm also surprised the Vector hasn't pulled back out to a further distance at this point. Seems like they'd be awful vulnerable to, well, anything at that low an altitude from a military perspective and probably are doing a very good job at terrifying all the residents. Seems like the brass should be thinking of this stuff a bit more.

144036 "Twilight? Oh, she’s with mah sister, and the rest of her friends over at the farm" That's why AppleJack didn't do anything.

Yes, I agree that Ponies are loyal, but war is still a terrifying thing to them. Some of them had to be conscripted, the army has to be built, fast, it's been made clear the Gryphons aren't slow at raising armies.

While the Vector is in the atmosphere, the whole crew woke up about fourteen hours after the ship got there. And if I were the Admiral, I too would probably want to make sure i'm not sorrounded by laser gorillas before trying to get my ship out of the atmosphere.

Imagine their laser eyes cutting into the Vector as it makes its escape

144111

Alright fair enough. I obviously missed a couple of things in my zeal. I'm very glad I was wrong because I've lost a couple of fics I've been watching to just unbelievable stuff lately :pinkiesad2:.

I don't buy the Vector argument but it hasn't thrashed my sense of disbelief enough for me to really harp on that so I'll just give up on that side.

I have to say I'm still going "D'awwwww" from the image of some dude in massive powered-armor bending down and petting Applebloom. Maybe reminds me of that image of a US solider petting the kitten. Just a pony instead of a kitten and a massive metal behemoth. You get the idea.

Oh yes, please please please please please have Atlas call the Admiral at least "Sir," it just seems so weird for him not to. The ship is primarily military correct?

I just want to clear out that there will be a few things that wont make sense during the story, but dont fret, alot of things will be revealed when the time comes. :ajsmug:


Patience is a virtue. I mean, it would be a boring story if I told you guys everything, right? :unsuresweetie:

I got to say Kriegor, I have been looking forward to the new chapter and I was not disappointed.

Hope the pressure you were feeling lightened up some.

Boyo, I would make the USS Vector act as a peace envoy between the two sides, or failing that, a third side.

144858

Or use the USS Vector to, as Durandal put it, introduce the Griffons to "the magic of orbital bombardment."

146062 "My Little Vector: Orbital Bombardment is Magic"

So...It's been a bit more than a week now. Can we start pestering for a new chapter?:unsuresweetie:

173488 It's been a pain to make this one, mainly because I keep coming up with new things and I have to start all over again in order to add them.

But yeah, feel free to pester me. I think some pressure could be good for me to shake off that laziness that's taken over me for the last week or so. :scootangel:

173820

Nooooooooooooo :pinkiegasp:! Therein lies the path to madness!

Yours is the only story with ponies and powered armor that has kept my attention. The fact that even with ponies and powered armor the D'awww factor has been significant sure doesn't hurt. Keep at it though, don't get stuck in the 'well it's not good enough' loop, or into constantly revising it. Gotta make some headway sometimes. Nothing wrong with taking some time to plan stuff out but before you lose your steam it might be a good time to 'lock things down' so to speak.

Due to me being overrun by bugs at night, I've been forced to use a VERY strong bug spray every time I go to sleep, with the results being me waking up with a sub-form of hangover the next day.

This has been going on for a couple of days, and my head hurts so much I haven't really been able to write anything :fluttercry:

I wont use that damn spray again, i'm pretty sure i've lost a good lot of brain cells and they're (Sadly) a necesity when it comes to writting

Let the mosquitoes attack tonight, for I shall be writting tomorrow :twilightangry2::flutterrage::flutterrage::twilightangry2:

i want this movie to now
great story, i can't imagine how adorable it must be to see a unicorn filly riding on a cyborg's shoulders

My Gawd you need to write MOAR!

Awesome chapter, I want to know who Twi reacts to Atlas. I also suspect that Torres and Rainbow dash will get in a race. :moustache:

I am SOOO so happy people enjoyed this

Here, have a Fluttershy :yay:

Taking all that time to edit chapter three, totally worth it

This is how you do Sci-fi and ponies! I haven't been this excited since the Thessalonica Legacy.

That was a great plot dump too, straight to the point, lots of relevant information and didn't outstay it's welcome.

Ponies and powered armor, I am struggling to think of things better in life.

nice chapter i cant wait to see what happens next, keep up the great work :pinkiehappy:

I was actually thinking this morning, "Hmmm... Lost Vector hasn't updated in a while. Hope its not a dead Fic..."

Then BAM! Pinkie came in all "WAZZAP!?!?" And told me that you had some stories to show me.

I swear, that's a true story... :pinkiecrazy:

Guys I am so excited by this story right now you don't even know. :pinkiecrazy:

Really great work so far.

Welp. I'm glad I tracked this. Keep it up.

My friend, i saw this chapter
Got a pistol, shotgun,and a uzi
got two other people
bashed down your door
and said "you better make more chapters or i will say

i283.photobucket.com/albums/kk309/Corvolt/shit-just-got-real.jpg

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