//------------------------------//
// Chapter 17: Last Legs 
// Story: Human 
// by DannyJ 
//------------------------------//

"Second round of questioning," said the announcer, "Let's mix it up a bit this time. We'll start off with...Nathan."

At the end of the long table that made up the special guests, Nathan waved to the crowd.

"Yep," he said, "Taking questions. Sensible ones this time, if you please."

Howard rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair. Unlike the rest of the special guests answering questions, who all looked down the table to Nathan as he spoke, Howard had no interest in anything he had to say.

"Yes, you?"

A dark haired woman in a t-shirt lowered her hand as she was acknowledged.

"Where did you get the inspiration for Foalsom Prison Blues? It was pretty different from most other episodes of last season."

"Honestly? Stole it from Howard."

"He did as well," Howard replied, muttering into his microphone.

"But in all seriousness, Howard was the one who came up the original idea. I just developed it a bit. He was of course writing the season four opening at the time, Beyond the Stars Parts 1 and 2, and I didn't want to see the idea go to waste, or get pushed back to next season. So he told me to just go ahead with it, and that's how we ended up doing it."

He looked around the room.

"You in the back."

"Were there any ideas you had while writing that you wanted to implement but never could, either because of time or because Hasbro said no?"

"Not because of anything Hasbro said," Nathan said carefully, "Though Jayson has ordered a few inappropriate jokes cut. I can't help it. With this fan base, I keep getting confused about who our audience is. The show's been more primarily marketed towards the brony community for a while now, but the show has still got to be appropriate for young children."

"What kind of jokes got cut?" asked a young man in spectacles.

"Let's just say that one of them, if it stayed in, would have canonised PinkieDash."

That got a few cheers out of some of the crowd, and laughs out of all the rest. Howard covered his face to try and hide his smirk.

"Umm...Right...you in front?"

"Who is best pony?"

"Celestia is clearly best pony," Nathan answered.

"Same questions to the others as well!"

That got a few chuckles out of the rest of the guests. The panel all took time out of Nathan's Q&A to all declare their favourite pony.

"Fluttershy."

"Pinkie."

"Fluttershy."

"Fluttershy."

"Rainbow Dash."

"Discord."

"Rarity."

"Trixie."

"Twilight."

"Applejack, because someone has to say so."

"Rarity."

"Luna."

"Rainbow Dash."

"Twilight."

Howard's turn.

"Yep, going with Celestia too."


***


"NOW BOARDING THE TWO SIX SIX FLIGHT TO CANTERLOT. REPEAT. ALL PASSENGERS FOR THE TWO SIX SIX FLIGHT TO CANTERLOT NOW BOARDING AT GATE THIRTY SEVEN."

Ancient Tome and the ponies of the Brotherhood stared in wonder as they walked through the Secopolis International Airport. Through giant glass windows, they could see dozens of huge metal monsters outside, long and sleek, and with giant wheels and massive wings.

"The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only," announced a disembodied voice over the speakers, "There is no stopping in the red zone."

The airport was deserted. There were almost no other ponies around except other representatives of Second's government. They were being escorted by Dr. Apocalypse and Commander Bullseye for the moment, heading for this mysterious Flight Two Six Six that they had been told they were taking.

"So what is this again?" asked Frosty.

"Second's invasion of Canterlot is in full swing," Bullseye explained, "Unfortunately his power armour troops are suffering heavy losses. Considering that there's only ninety of them total, we can't afford to lose many more of them. A little while ago, we received a signal from Party Balloon One, who said that Second had asked for heavy artillery and authorised full use of all tactical weapons.

"The purpose of our flight is to deliver those weapons. We're going in a special purpose craft, a warship called the Prometheus made just for this eventuality. The Prometheus has enough explosives and heavy weapons to level Canterlot completely, and we may very well do that if it proves necessary."

"What?!" Night Shroud demanded, "Destroy Canterlot?! Why?!"

"The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone."

"Why else? To fuck things up. Lord Second really doesn't like ponies."

"But...How does killing innocent bystanders help in liberating ponykind from the alicorn tyrants?!" asked Iron Hoof.

Dr. Apocalypse looked at the commander.

"Do you want to tell them, or should I?"

"No. Go ahead."

"Alright...How best to put this..."

The doctor scratched his chin.

"Your religion is wrong, you're all idiots, Second's plan is to destroy ponykind, not save it, and you've dedicated one thousand years of time, effort and planning to releasing a creature who's basically just an even more powerful and malevolent Discord."

The ponies' jaws dropped.

"The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone."

"No! No that can't be right!" Ancient Tome protested, "But...Second and First never wanted to kill anypony when they first appeared! They just tried to fight the princesses, and they-"

"Look, trust us on this one," Bullseye interrupted, "We were directly created by the man. We know what we're talking about. Second and First didn't kill anypony because they just didn't feel like it. They were two Elder Gods on vacation to the mortal world who pissed off the locals and got themselves trapped in stone and killed respectively for their troubles. There was never a holy crusade, there was never any notion of righteous justice, and your entire order is based around misconceptions and delusions. Second only even keeps you around because he finds your idiocy amusing."

The PA system continued to blare in the background.

"The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone."

"So...then Lord Second...?"

"Lord Second is the bad guy. He's the villain of this story. And those are his exact words. He stopped caring about pony life a long time ago. All he wants right now, is to kill the Pantheon of B, kill the Elements of Harmony, kill Princess Luna, and kill as many innocent bystanders as possible, in that order. And we're here to help with that, as are you."

"What makes you think we will?!" Frosty Morning demanded, "We all did bad things in the Brotherhood, sure. We're no strangers to committing acts of evil...But we got through the day, and still slept at night, because we convinced ourselves it was for the greater good! But if Lord Second does not represent the greater good, then I would stand against even him!"

Bullseye reached to his side and drew his crossbow. The mare barely had time to react before he shot her in the throat. The icy blue pegasus flew back and landed on the floor of the airport, a metal shaft sticking out of her neck and blood pouring from the wound.

"FROSTY!"

"NO!"

"The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the white zone."

The remaining three Brotherhood ponies all gathered around the body, but Frosty had been dead before she hit the ground. Behind them, Commander Bullseye put his weapon away, and Dr. Apocalypse spoke up.

"Lord Second said you might protest when you learned of his true nature," he explained, "He also said that as soon as any of you start showing signs of that annoying thing we call a conscience, you should be immediately shot."

"Yes," Bullseye agreed, "So then Tome, Night Shroud, Iron Hoof, I'll ask again. Want to come kill some civilians with us?"

"By the way," the speakers announced, temporarily distracting the ponies, "This is an Airplane! reference. Just thought you should know."


***


Second was knocked back as Celestia's hooves slammed into him. The princess lifted into the air and dove towards him again, head bowed so her horn was pointing out in front of her. She never liked violence. She hated conflict of all kinds, but she knew it to be a necessary evil to bring an end to the kind of monsters Equestria fought with. Monsters like Second.

Celestia hit the human head on just as he pulled himself to his feet again. Her horn pierced his chest and stabbed straight through him. She continued charging through the street. Up ahead was a broken and burning house. She weaved and dodged through the crowd of zombies and smashed into the front wall.

The house came down. Celestia pulled back, and Second flew off the end of her horn into the flaming wreckage. From within the burning pile of rubble, she heard screaming.

She winced. This was never pleasant. Even when facing truly irredeemable foes, she believed that killing was never the answer. That's why she spared her enemies, and resorted to imprisonment instead. Nightmare Moon did awful things, but she still did not kill her. She spared her life, and one thousand years later she was rewarded for her mercy, and her baby sister came back. That had been the happiest day of her life.

Nevertheless, it was all different now. Much as she wished it could happen any other way, Second had to die. Lord First had been very clear on that. She had to destroy him, so that they could be reunited. He promised that under his watch, Second would be a problem no longer. If she killed him, he would still live on, and he'd be happier and saner for it.

Much as she hated to admit it, killing was the most merciful thing she could do to a creature like him.

"RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHH!"

The debris flew into the air, leaving Second standing where the house once was. He was even more badly burned than before, most of his clothes little more than rags now, and large portions of his skin were burnt black. He pointed a finger at her, then Celestia jumped back as the remains of the house rained down where she had been standing, seemingly thrown at her by telekinesis.

He ran forward. Before the princess could even take flight again, Second got within range, cracked his knuckles and socked her in the face. It was a momentary distraction. Celestia flew up into the air and ignited herself. She controlled the sun itself. Fire based magic was second nature to her.

A shield of flames now protected her from all sides, and she dived towards Second again. The human jumped out of her way and onto the roof of another house. He ripped the chimney off and tossed it in her direction, but it was an easy attack to dodge.

The princess threw a wave of flames down towards him. Second leapt to the roof of the next house just as the last one was completely incinerated. The street they were fighting on was towards the upper levels of Canterlot, and most of the rest of the city was a little way below them. Second jumped off the house he was on, and headed down into the rest of the city, away from the palace.

Celestia gave chase, launching balls of explosive fire after the human. Even though Lord First's work had made her able to hit him now though, Second was still insanely powerful, and a very skilled fighter and acrobat. He jumped right over spires and towers, dashed along rooftops, leapt through windows into high rise buildings, and whenever the princess came around to try and find a big enough entrance to the same building, Second had an annoying habit of smashing through walls and nearly grabbing her in the air.

Second had just failed to do exactly that while leaping out of a large tower with a domed roof, and he plummeted past her towards the street below.


***


"WHAT DO WE DO?!" shouted Chain Mail, "THERE'S GOT TO BE SOME WAY TO GET THESE THINGS TO WORK!"

"Look, it doesn't matter if you're not sure what your elements are!" Luna said rapidly, "Just...just try based on what you know! You can make an educated guess, right?! You must know each other well enough by now! Whoever the Element of Magic is, just guess, and if you aren't sure which one of you is Magic, then all of you guess! What's important is that Element of Magic, whoever that may be, realises that all of you are friends, and what virtues you embody! Come on!"

"This doesn't seem very harmonious," Soft Spoken commented.

"Fuck Harmony! We just need the friendship!" Gold Coin interrupted, "Sliske! You know spells! Let's just say that you're Magic! Guess what our elements are, and accept our friendship!"

"But we're not friendssssssss!" Sliske replied.

"Fuck's sake! We're going to all get killed!" the business pony raged, "Look, Sliske! Seriously! We're friends! I like you! I gave you that emotional talk back on Sweet Apple Acres and everything! Come on! Does that not mean anything to you?!"

"Thissssss issssss true. Okay. Gold Coin issssss my friend."

"THANK YOU!"

"AND WHAT ELEMENT DOES HE REPRESENT?!" screamed Luna, butting into the conversation again, "YOU HAVE TO SAY IT!"

Sliske cringed as the princess got right up in his face.

"Gah! Generossssssssity! Get away from me you creepy mare!"

One of the stone balls that now laid in the corner of the room rose into the air. The group all watched as it began to glow a blinding white light and exploded into little stone ships. The stone chips swirled around in the air for a moment and floated over to Gold Coin, before reforming in another flash of light.

Nopony could see what actually happened because of the light, but when they looked back again, the yellow earth pony was wearing a large golden necklace. The front held a green gem shaped like an apple with a bite taken out of it, and lodged in the bite mark was a smaller yellow gem shaped like a coin. It was his cutie mark replicated in gem form.

"FUCK YEAH!" he shouted, "I got my element! We're making progress guys!"

He rubbed the gem on the front, seeming to admire it.

"How does it look?" he asked.

"Pretty gay, actually," said Chain Mail.

"Well...maybe not gay...but certainly feminine," Soft Spoken added.

"Yep. It's gay," Explodey agreed.

"You look like a huge flaming homosssssssexual, Gold Coin. And I onccccce posssssesssssed a pony who had a real, actual gaydar, ssssssso I know what I'm talking about."

"Bah! You guys are a bunch of dicks! What do you think, princess?"

"...Yeah, these things were never meant to be worn by stallions."

"You know what? I don't care. Because at the end of the day, it's still a magic gem that grants incredible powers, I'm still the chosen one, and I know that you guys are going to have to wear a bunch of equally girly necklaces! Except Sliske, who in a nice act of karmic justice, I know will have to wear a pretty little princess tiara. Let's see you keep your dignity intact after that!"

"Joke'sssss on you, ssssissster. Sssssakrassssi are gender neutral."

"Oh come on!"

"Now the rest!" Luna urged, "Sliske is clearly our Element of Magic, so he has to realise his friendship with the rest of you!"

"I ssssstill don't conssssider mosssst of you my friendsssss."

"Seriously?!" Chain Mail shouted, "The world is ending, and you still won't acknowledge that we're friends?!"

"How are we friendsssss?! You fear and hate me, and I feel nothing but apathy towardsssss you!"

Chain Mail's mouth hung open.

"Apathy?!"

"Yessss! Apathy! Why should I have any sssssstrong feelingsssss towardsssss you? What interaction have we had beyond me ussssssing your body onccccce and you avoiding me and talking down to me ssssssincccce we sssstarted travelling?"

Chain Mail went red in the face and picked up Sliske with his hooves. Since Sliske was still in Mystic's body, and thus only the size of a colt, it was remarkably easy. He held him up to his face and stared right into his eyes.

"BE MY FRIEND, YOU ABSOLUTE CUNT!"

Sliske kicked the captain in the face, causing him to drop him back onto the floor.

"Agh! What the fuck was that for?!"

"Nopony touchesssss me! The lassssst time a pony tried to pick me up like that, I ripped hissssss throat out with my bare teeth!"

"This is not friendship!" Luna shouted over the din, "You're all doing it wrong!"

"We're stallions," Gold Coin replied, "We do this. Apparently. Testosterone, or whatever. Explodey will tell you."

"I am so hungry right now, I think I would willingly eat meat," Explodey interrupted.

Explodey was covered in grey splotches all over his body. The zombie infection he had caught while the group were out fighting in the city was spreading, though not as one mass. Most of Explodey's normally white coat remained the same, but the grey patches where his skin was rotting were still quite prominent, and one especially huge patch which covered most of his neck and the entire right side of his face was particularly worrying.

"Forget Chain Mail for now!" said Luna, "Sliske, try focusing on somepony else! Soft Spoken! He's easy to get along with! Surely you're both friends!"

"Not really. He isssss very dissssapproving of my actionsssssss, and very condesssscending. I don't like it."

"Why do you have to make this so hard?!" Soft Spoken demanded, "We'd already have the Elements reactivated if you didn't keep insulting us and insisting we're not friends!"

"We aren't though! Do you think if I jusssssssst ssssay that we're all friendssss, they'll ssssstart working again? Lying doessss nothing, and if I'm honessssst about my feelingsssss, I don't think we're really friendssssss. None of you like me, except Gold Coin, maybe."

"Of course we do!" the old stallion tried to explain, "Look, I know that we argue! I'm sorry! I'm an argumentative pony! It's who I am! I spent a lifetime talking, and debating, and convincing, and arguing with thousands of different ponies, griffins or what-have-you, and it's a habit I've fallen into. I outlived most of my other friends, and I didn't have to do it as a job anymore when I retired! I stopped arguing when I stopped having ponies to talk to, and I took a submissive role being a butler in somepony else's household. But I don't have that anymore! I'm allowed to speak freely again, I have ponies to talk to, and damnit, I will speak my mind, because it's what I do!

"It's who I am, Sliske. I convince ponies to do things differently, to take what I believe is the right course of action. If I sound condescending to you, I'm sorry, but I'm just trying to steer you onto the right path. I'm a hundred a thirty now, and I just love to talk, and I love to argue! An old stallion always feels like he has to pass on what he believes in, and I'm just trying to do the same.

"Please, I don't hate you! I really don't! I think we're friends. I just have a funny way of acting around friends, because I'm a pony who enjoys those parts of a friendship, where we don't always agree and we end up having a verbal sparring match over our opinions. I'm not trying to belittle you, and I'm not trying to be condescending! I just sometimes take issue with the things you do and the views you express, and I let you know because I feel it's important, and I feel like you might want to hear it. I want to be honest with you Sliske, because friends are honest with each other! Can't we be friends? Please?"

Sliske sighed.

"Your sssspecial talent issss talking, hmm? Convinccccing poniesssss to change their mindssss? I think I can ssssssee that now. And you are telling the truth. You do conssssider me a friend, don't you?"

Softy nodded.

"...Then...I think I can call you the sssssame."

He smiled.

"Thank you, Sliske."

"Element~" Luna said in a singsong voice.

"Oh. Ummm...I don't know."

Softy's smile dropped immediately.

"What."

"Sssssssorry. I thought you were kindnesssss before, but that ssssspeech you jusssst did remindssssss me more of the virtue of honesssssssty than kindnessssss, and now I can't deccccide which one you are. I've got nothing."

Gold Coin collapsed and covered his head with his hooves.

"We're all going to die."


***


Second hit the ground running and dashed down the street with the princess in hot pursuit. Up above, she coated herself in flames again and began to spin through the air like a drill, with her horn at the forefront. The spinning fiery tornado of death reminded Second very much of another alicorn he'd briefly known, before it inexplicably got itself killed by a regular pony with a gun.

As he turned a corner and ran off down a side street, Second saw an opportunity ahead of him.

Up above, Celestia tracked Second's movements and tore down the street he had just ran along. She was near ground level now, and she ploughed through the other zombies crowding the street effortlessly. She felt far less guilty about them than she did about Second, as zombies were by their very nature just mindless, soulless drones. Except Second apparently.

Wait, if Second still had intelligence despite being undead, did that technically make him a lich?

Celestia made a sharp turn around the corner, heading into the side street where Second had fled. She saw him up above on a nearby rooftop, so she adjusted her angle and rushed up at him, continuing to drill through the air. As she got within range, Second pulled out a light grey filly from behind him and held her up in her path.

"STOP RIGHT THERE OR THE KID DIES!"

She stopped dead in her tracks just a few feet away from the human. That turned out to be a mistake, as the very moment she had stopped, Second dropped the filly, wound up a kick, and launched her half a mile skyward before she hit the floor.

"Catch her if you can, princess!"

Second ran off in the other direction, while Princess Celestia just stood shock still with her jaw hanging open, stunned at what she had just witnessed.

Did Second just punt a foal into the sky?!

Yep. He sure did. Celestia took to the skies after the figure that was quickly descending again. Though she knew Second needed to be stopped, she couldn't in good conscience abandon that foal when she might still be alive. After a kick like that, it was unlikely, but that didn't mean it was impossible.

She flew as fast as she could, travelling to the other side of the city in mere seconds. When the falling foal came into range, she caught her upside down in her magic, and sighed in relief when the filly started moving again, struggling and wriggling about in the air. She was fine.

Princess Celestia turned the foal right-side up again, and jumped back away again when it turned out she had just grabbed not a foal with a grey coat, but a zombie foal. It gnashed at her hungrily, and the princess dropped it in surprise. The zombie foal landed on a rooftop a little way below them, and immediately got up and started jumping to try and reach her again.

Goddamn that was macabre.

She hovered in place in stunned silence for a moment, fully taking in this unique horror. What she didn't realise was that Second had not done this merely as an escape tactic, but as a distraction so he could prepare his next move. While she hovered in place, Second had been busy running to the other side of Canterlot and climbing to the tallest building he could find, so he could take a running long-jump off it.

Equestrian physics being what they were, that long-jump was long enough to send him flying across the city right towards Celestia. Arms outstretched in front of him like Superman, and moving at a speed and velocity worthy of him too, Second crashed right into her and sent her flying.

The princess and Second got tangled up in the air, but Second came out on top. Celestia hit the ground hard and went skidding across it, while the human stood on her side and body surfed her through the streets of Canterlot, knocking aside legions of the undead as he went.

Suddenly, and without warning, the road ended and they reached the edge of Canterlot. This was the place where the cobblestone roads gave way to the well kept grasslands and flower patches and waterfalls. There were now hills instead of flat roads, and Second lost his balance and fell off.

Both human and alicorn tumbled down the grassy slope and towards the river at the bottom of a nearby waterfall. Predictably, both fell into it.


***


The Prometheus turned out to be a giant blimp almost as big some of the runways that the more modern air vehicles were taking off from, and with a gondola large enough to make the Congress coliseum blush. As it happened, the size was necessary for the massive stockpile of weapons it held on board. Going inside the gondola, they found out that the cockpit, (or more accurately bridge) and passenger areas were only a small percentage of it, and behind every third door was either access to a miniature warehouse full of enough explosives to destroy a small country, or an armoury that you would be forgiven for thinking contained the entire arsenal of Secopolis.

In short, somepony was compensating big time.

Tome and the two remaining Brotherhood ponies were forced to pass many of these rooms on their way to the on-board clinic of the Prometheus, where they were told they needed to see Dr. Apocalypse for some kind of inoculation, that they needed before they landed in Canterlot.

For the moment, the three of them were alone. Taking advantage of their moment of relative privacy from the two other ponies in charge of this operation, they conversed amongst themselves.

"What do we do?!" Iron Hoof whispered frantically, "We've all made a terrible mistake here! I've got nothing against killing if it means more lives will be saved in the long run, but I don't want to be part of any kind of needless slaughter! These ponies are crazy! We have to back out of this, somehow!"

"...Maybe it's all a test!" Ancient Tome suggested, "Yeah! That's got to be it! Lord Second is just testing our faith! To see how loyal we are to him! Maybe this is all a ruse to see if we're worthy followers!"

"Tomey...Are you alright?" asked Iron.

"NO! No, I'm not alright! This is all wrong!" the bearded stallion cried, "It was never meant to be like this! I lost all my family, my friends, and the entire rest of the Brotherhood for this cause! It can't all be for nothing! I can't have sacrificed that much in vain! Frosty can't have died for this!"

"Mr. Tome, you know that's not the case," Night Shroud said gravely, "I didn't want to believe it either, but you must admit, Second never acted anything like a benevolent ruler. He was loud, obnoxious and violent from the moment we released him. And there's no way that any real force for good would have somepony murdered in cold blood like that just to test her friends' loyalty. And even if he did, a heroic leader would expect his followers to do the right thing, rather than what they think would please him."

"I just...damnit!" Tome shouted, "I fucked up. I fucked up so bad and I never even realised it! Is this really what I went through all that for?! I became a part of this because I thought it was for the greater good! What good am I accomplishing though? If Second is a force of evil...then what hope do we have? A thousand years of history, the Brotherhood's ultimate goal...and it was all a lie..."

His head drooped.

"We can't do this anymore," said Night Shroud, "Maybe not all of our members joined for selfless reasons, but the Brotherhood always did what it did out of a sense of duty and obligation. A duty to do what is best for ponykind, Gods and rulers be damned. We thought the princesses were evil, and we thought Second to be good, so we let him free. If Second is evil too, then that doesn't mean our goal changes from fighting evil to defending it. It means our enemies have changed, and Second is now among them."

"Frosty got killed for opposing Second, and he didn't even do it himself!" Iron replied, "What hope do we have?! What can we do?! We're just mortal ponies! We can't fight Gods!"

"Why can't we?!" the batpony demanded, "What have we been doing ever since our inception?! Celestia was invincible, immortal, and in command of armies of thousands, and we still outlived her!"

"Yes, but we didn't fight her ourselves!" Tome protested, "And we still can't fight now! We're not powerful! We couldn't do anything to the princesses, let alone Second!"

"No. We're not powerful. We're smart. Our order is based around finding creative solutions to our problems, and I propose that we do that here. We can take these tyrants! All of them! If the princesses are evil, and the humans are evil, then we'll just take the fight to both of them!"

The old unicorn rubbed his beard. A sly grin crept across his face.

"You know what? You're right. We're not going to lay down and take this. After everything we've been through, this will not be the end of it. You're a clever pony, Mr. Night Shroud. Probably more so than myself, blind old fool that I am. I wish I had known you better before now."

"Likewise."

"So, what's our plan then?" asked Iron Hoof, "What do we do now?"

Tome looked up and down the corridor.

"We hijack the Prometheus."


***


The door to Celestia's study burst down as a pair of white coated day guards rushed into the room, shadowed by two mares. One was a frightened dark green unicorn in a smart looking suit, and the other was a much less frightened, but much more badly injured yellow earth pony with a light green mane.

"Your majesty!" one of the guards called, "The undead have broken through the outer gates and are swarming the grounds! The palace's main entrances have been sealed, but we don't expect them to last much longer! Prince Blueblood has ordered that everypony who is not a combatant should be escorted to the upper levels of the castle for evacuation!"

"Blueblood started evacuation?" Luna questioned, "Tsk. And I told him not to...Just as well. I assumed we could beat Second before it got this bad, but my arrogance got the better of me. If he's started getting everypony out now, we might still have hope."

"Are we going then, your highness?" asked Quill Tip, Luna's steward.

"Of course! We must make haste to the upper levels! Bring the elements with us. There is still a chance we can activate them before the battle is completely lost."

Luna trotted out the door, followed closely by Gold Coin and Explodey. Chain Mail began talking with one of the guards, while Softy and Sliske gathered up the remaining stone balls, Sliske carrying them with his telekinesis. They were stopped at the door by the earth pony mare.

"Mystic? Is that you?" she asked.

"Oh, hello Missssssss Chalk Board. What are you doing here?"

Sliske stopped, and shook his head.

"Wait, why am I ssssaying hello to you? I'm not Mysssssstic. We don't even know each other. Sssstop talking to me."

He continued through the door again, the Elements of Harmony floating behind him. The bewildered teacher looked to Soft Spoken for some kind of answer.

"Possessed by an alien parasite."

"Oh right."

"Volunteered his body for use by Sliske the Destroyer."

"As you do."

"Mmhmm."

"...You seem pretty jaded about the whole thing. Is this normal to you?"

"Pretty much."


***


"Shit."

Second's head breached the surface of the water, as did Celestia's. The river was not very deep, but it was deep enough that the human's feet didn't touch the bottom. It was very clean and clear water too, so he could see it was mostly devoid of plant life below, instead being mostly plain grey rocks. Though still very sharp rocks.

The waterfall drowned out most of the noise of Canterlot behind them, crashing down on an island of those sharp rocks and thundering as it churned up white water. Though it was weak, a current caused both the fighters to slowly flow down the river.

"You!" Celestia shouted, "You will do no more damage!"

"Come and stop me, princess!"

She rose to his challenge and swam over towards him as quickly as she could. So far, despite Second hitting her pretty bad a few times, he still hadn't inflicted any lasting wounds. Powerful though he was, humans did not share enough similarities with alicorns to be able to permanently wound them, at least without the Reaper's Horn. And Second had not used it yet, though he did still have it.

She nearly reached him, but was then surprised when one hand came out of the water again, and he was clutching a dark blue horn. He stabbed her with it like a knife, right in the shoulder below the neck, and Celestia cried out in pain. She stared at the place where he had hit her, and she saw he had actually punctured the skin.

"No..."

Celestia was broken out of her stupor when she felt a rock bump into her side. It was then that she realised both she and Second were still being carried down the river. The current was gentle right now, but she knew that it eventually lead to a second waterf-

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

She was too surprised to use her wings. She and Second both fell a short distance down the next waterfall, which thankfully had no sharp rocks at the bottom of it like the last one did. The river here was much deeper, and Celestia swam under water for a moment before she came up to the surface again.

"You! That horn!" she shouted, "If you can harm me with that...then it must be...WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY SISTER?!"

"Only roughed her up a bit, Celly. Nothing to worry your pretty little head over. Now shut up and die!"

He lunged at her through the water and struck her in her right wing this time, temporarily crippling it. She grunted in pain, but took the opportunity once he was in range to shove her own horn into his neck. He screamed, or more accurately gurgled when she did, but he didn't die. What's worse, he started leaking a glowing green fluid over her forehead, which really burned.

Is that his blood?!

"Is that my blood?!"

Oh, even worse. The moment she pulled out, his throat immediately healed. That healing factor wasn't infallible, but it acted fast.

"How do you not know what your own blood looks like?!"

"It's never been fucking green before! I- AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

They fell down another waterfall. This one did have jagged rocks at the bottom. Celestia hit a large pointy boulder, but didn't actually land on the point. She slid down the side of it and narrowly avoided some smaller rocks. She floated down the river a few more feet and was then stopped by a small island, which was right on the edge of yet another waterfall that they hadn't fallen down yet, and this next one was a long drop too.

Second had less luck, and seemed to have been impaled on a smaller rock. Once again, there was green stuff everywhere, and it had him freaking out.

He pulled himself off it, and his stomach wound seemed to close up quickly enough. He was on a rock island too now, but a different one. And his was directly under the waterfall, so he was getting water crashing down on top of him as well. He stumbled slightly and jumped from that one across to Celestia's. Finally, they were both on solid ground again.

So the first thing Second did was rugby tackle the princess and send them both careening off the edge of the next waterfall to repeat the cycle anew.


***


"Just up these steps now, and down the far end!" Luna called, "There's a hidden passageway here that leads straight to the roof through one of the smaller towers. It will allow us to bypass the crowd of ponies on the top three floors."

They ascended a flight of stairs, and a group of other royal guards charged past them in the opposite direction, going to join the fight down below. The two mares and their guard escort had since been joined by a few other stragglers whom they had stumbled across on their journey, including Dr. Heart Beat. Once they reached the top of the stairs, they progressed onwards through a long hallway with stained glass windows.

"Guys!" Explodey called, "I'm really hungry! My stomach hurts!"

"Please, shut up Explodey!" Gold Coin shouted, "I can't deal with this when you're driving me to insanity! Just be thankful that infection seems to have stopped spreading for the moment."

"Oh, it's stopped, has it?"

Gold Coin turned around to see that Explodey's grey patches had gotten slightly larger since he last looked at him. They still covered only a small proportion of his body, but they were definitely getting worse. The business pony could only groan in frustration, and the rest of the group stopped momentarily. He turned away from Explodey again to address Sliske.

"Is there anything we can do to help him?" he asked.

"Not that I know of. Asssssss it issssss an infectioussss disssseassssse and not magic, a cure should be theoretically possssssible, but it would take a lot of resssssearch firssssssst."

Dr. Heart Beat spoke up.

"If we can keep Explodey sedated after he turns, I could experiment on the zombie until I come up with something to at least preserve his intelligence. It'd take a while, but as long as Explodey remains alive, I don't see why we should assume he's beyond help."

"That is a viable plan," Soft Spoken agreed, "I have a tranquiliser gun built into this suit. If he turns, I could knock him out and we can carry him with us until we find a way to fix him."

"Is that really all we can hope for?" Gold Coin asked sadly, "Experimenting on him for a cure after he's already succumbed? Isn't there anything we can do to help him before then?"

He froze as two white hooves wrapped around his neck, and he felt a pony behind him pull him into an embrace.

"Explodey? What are you doing?"

The unicorn leaned in close and sniffed the yellow earth pony's mane. He whispered into his ear;

"You smell like apples."

Gold Coin looked extremely uncomfortable. He looked over to Softy desperately.

"Help me," he mouthed.

And then Soft Spoken shot Explodey in the face.


***


Ancient Tome, Iron Hoof and Night Shroud all walked into the clinic together, where Dr. Apocalypse was preparing a needle, and two other unicorns in lab coats wandered about the lab tinkering with various experiments. In the corner, a single Knight of Man, who Tome recognised as Racket, kept watch on their operations.

Tome nodded discreetly to his two companions.

"So what is this then, doctor?" he asked.

"Sit still for a moment," Dr. Apocalypse muttered.

When he was satisfied that everything was up to standards, he trotted over to Tome's side and injected a clear liquid into his neck.

"This stuff is called 'Authority'," he explained, "It's an agent designed to counteract the effects of the zombie virus. The infection used to create the undead was devised by the Mages' Guild at Second's request, for the purposes of his invasion. It allows zombies to spread the infection by biting, and it's what allows them to survive even with most of their body missing. It also has the effect of making them all unable to feel pain, and making them mindless, shambling monstrosities."

He let Tome go and gestured for Iron Hoof to come over.

"The catch is that Second predicted, correctly I might add, that he would have to join the zombie horde to properly command them. He did so after an injection of the zombie serum following the destruction the Mages' Guild headquarters."

He gave Iron his shot, and quickly shooed him away to let Night Shroud have his turn.

"However, he didn't want to lose his conscious mind, so he had us created Authority. In essence, Authority allows a zombie to keep their mind and remain themselves. When injected into the living, it also acts as zombie repellent. All the power armour troops and most of the Knights of Man have been given a shot of Authority so that they won't have to fear getting eaten. It's doesn't guarantee safety from the zombies, but it betters your chances. As we're going to Canterlot, you all need this shot too."

He finished with Night Shroud, who rubbed his neck awkwardly.

"So, we're all good then?" the batpony asked, "The zombies won't be hostile to us anymore?"

"Nope."

"Is that all we need for Canterlot?" asked Iron, "No more extra inoculations or anything?"

"No, you're fine," Apocalypse said dismissively, "You're free to go now."

The three ponies all looked to each other, and simultaneously broke out into evil grins.

"Good to know," said Ancient Tome, "ATTACK!"

Both former royal guards, Iron Hoof and Night Shroud drew their old swords from their scabbards and went on the offensive.

Night Shroud went right for Knight Racket, and decapitated him before he could even draw his own weapon in defence. Iron Hoof rushed the two other unicorn scientists, and impaled them both at once, before smashing them into the wall, pulling his sword out, and slicing both of their throats open.

Ancient Tome meanwhile blasted Dr. Apocalypse with magic, pounding him with raw magical energy. The unicorn was thrown back across the room, but to Tome's surprise, he kept focus on his own magic and teleported before he hit the ground.

The bearded stallion twisted around just in time to see his attacker, and jump out of the way of a fireball aimed at his back. The fireball struck a desk behind him and it shattered into tiny flaming splinters.

The doctor teleported again, this time appearing in the air above Tome and coming down on top of him. He smashed a hoof into his face and sent him sprawling, and then vanished again before the two melee fighters could come to Tome's aid.

Gotta think, gotta think, gotta think, think, think.

Ancient Tome stood up again and used the first spell that came to mind. Just like when he would have to put up defences to make sure that no unwanted visitors came dropping into the meetings of the Brotherhood, he let out a wave of magic that covered the room, implementing an anti-teleport barrier.

The barrier was weak. Pathetically weak. It took time to set up any kind of effective version of one, and even the professionally constructed barriers like the one made to defend the royal archives were never one hundred percent effective. Most of the time they just deposited the teleporter a little off-target or temporarily disable them. A barrier this weak would hardly stop Dr. Apocalypse.

He didn't need it to though.

The doctor teleported in just like he intended, once again positioned behind Ancient Tome's back. However, this time he grunted in pain and stumbled slightly upon re-entry. The barrier didn't stop him, but it did disorient him slightly, and that split second of distraction was all that was needed for the unicorn to buck him in the chest, while Night Shroud and Iron rushed over and both plunged their swords into his side.

"AGH!" he screamed.

Dr. Apocalypse stared down at his side. The two guards withdrew their blades, and he collapsed against the nearest wall.

"Fuck...You'll regret this!" he raged, "You'll all be sorry! One day you'll see how foalish it was to stand against Lord Second's forces!"

"Maybe," Tome admitted, "But not today. Iron?"

The earth pony raised his replacement hoof over the doctor's face.

"Hey doc, thanks again for the mechanical leg," he said, "I really, really like it."

And then Dr. Apocalypse's head was jelly.


***


"I DIDN'T THINK THIS THROUGH!"

Alicorn and human hit the water again and were once more picked up by the current.

Second shot up from underwater and stabbed at Celestia with her sister's horn, while the princess just tried to paddle away from him. They both came to a stop when they hit a large wooden log. It was stuck between some smaller rocks which prevented it from moving further downstream.

Since it wasn't moving any time soon, Celestia gratefully climbed up onto it and used her magic to balance herself and keep grip on the slippery rotten wood. Second climbed onto the log as well, though without magic to assist him. He held up the horn and pointed it at Celestia, brandishing it like a sword.

A spell shot out of the end and hit her in the chest. It wasn't a very damaging spell, but it broke her concentration. Her magic imploded, and she lost her grip. She slipped on the log, but rather than falling off, the whole log began to spin around, and she trotted in place to stay on it. Second was thrown off and into the river again, while Celestia barely kept her balance. Also, the spinning log came loose from rocks, and started flowing down the river again.

The log stopped spinning and Celestia regained her grip when Second grabbed the end and hoisted himself out of the river again. He drew Luna's horn, but this time thought better than to use another spell, especially since he really knew nothing about magic. Instead, he lunged at her and tried to use it as a knife again.

The alicorn swished her head and blocked the incoming strike with her own horn. They clacked on contact, and Second drew back. A grin spread across his face.

"En garde!"

He attacked again, but this time he treated the horn less like a dagger and more like a rapier. She saw what he was trying to do, and agreed to match his challenge. Both of them using alicorn horns in place of the traditional weapons, Celestia and Second entered a deadly duel atop the rotten log, which both of them barely seemed to notice was still moving down the river, and still picking up speed.


***


Luna and the other ponies emerged onto the roof to find it still in chaos. They exited through a hidden door to one of the towers, having used the secret passage that the princess suggested to avoid the crowd. The top four floors of the palace were almost full to bursting with ponies, which was understandable given that the entire surviving population of Canterlot was stuffed in there.

In the centre of the roof, several dragons laid on their stomachs with wings outstretched as the flightless ponies climbed onto their backs. They were transporting them in large groups, but they were still hard pressed to get everypony out in time. Even at this altitude, the moans of the zombies below as they tried to scratch and bite through the doors to the palace were clearly audible.

Including Spike, there had only been seventeen dragons present at the funeral, and one of them had already left yesterday to head back up north again. The remaining dragons were working overtime to get all the civilians to safety, and even with the pegasus population making the journey themselves, and the much larger Spike also directly assisting, it was still barely enough to get everypony out.

Confounding matters more was the fact that the dragons were too large for all of them to land on the roof at once, so some of them that had returned from dropping off ponies in other small towns around Canterlot were hovering in the air above the palace, impatiently waiting for their brothers to get out of the way so that they could get their next load of passengers.

Although it was chaos and anarchy, Luna still smiled slightly. It was a blessing that the dragons were willing to help out at all. The dragons of a thousand years ago were never this selfless. She was glad that it had been Spike to lead the remnants of their race. They couldn't have asked for a better mentor.

"Oi!"

Princess Luna's head snapped to the side as she saw Blueblood pushing through the crowd.

"I'm sorry I went be'ind your back, your maj, but it needed to be done. I saw your fight with that mad bastard earlier. Cor, I thought you got killed! We needed to start evacuatin' early, less we all get eaten. 'Ope you don't mind, your maj."

"No..." Luna sighed, "You were right, Blue. I asked you to come here so that you could make the decisions. I'm not fit for making decisions when I'm still in such an emotional state. I've not been myself lately..."

Blueblood gave her a sad smile, and cleared his throat.

"Right. Gotcha. Anyway, Spike an' 'is dragons have got a few 'undred ponies clear of Canterlot already, but evacuation is still slow. I'm not really sure we can get everypony out in time, so the royal guard and a few volunteer fighters 'ave agreed to stay behind while everypony else gets clear, and help fight off the zombies if they make their way inside."

"Understandable. Who are our volunteers?"

"They're just over 'ere, your maj."


***


"Hey, what are you doing- HGGRRR!"

The knight went silent and collapsed in a heap as Iron Hoof withdrew his sword from his gut. They opened a door and progressed into the corridor beyond. Three knights were in this one. There was one guarding a door half way between where they were and their ultimate goal, the door to the bridge. The other two were patrolling up and down it, one just meters away and facing them, and the other with his back turned and almost at the other end of the corridor.

Night Shroud stepped forward and casually slit the throat of the knight closest to them. The one guarding the door jumped in surprise and went for his own blade. He had just about drawn it by the time Iron had rushed up and decapitated him. The sounds of death alerted the final knight at the far end of the corridor.

He turned to face the Brotherhood. This one had the sense to grab a ranged weapon, and drew a crossbow like Bullseye used. Ancient Tome yanked Night Shroud's sword out of his mouth, pointed it in his direction, and then used his magic to launch it like a harpoon down the corridor. It shot right through his head and embedded in the door behind the knight.

"All clear?" Tome asked, as he pulled Night Shroud's sword back to them, and returned it to its owner.

Iron Hoof smashed down the door that the second knight had been guarding.

"Nothing in here," he called, "Low grade body armour, a couple of SEC Mk. IIIs, and ammunition for a weapon entirely too large for any of us to effectively use, even if we did find it."

They trotted past the room and continued to the end, passing the knight with a hole in his face.

"This will likely be full of guards," Night Shroud explained, "And Bullseye himself is probably no slouch either. If Dr. Apocalypse was just a research and development guy, then I'd hate to see what the trained soldier is like."

"We've been mowing down the trained soldiers by the dozens," Iron growled, "This guy stands no chance."

"Don't be so sure. Remember that this guy is the commander, and was one of Second's hand picked bodyguards. This won't be an easy fight."

The three stallions nodded to each other as they stopped in front of the door. Tome twisted around and bucked it down, and the other two charged in. He followed after, and they emerged onto the bridge.

The bridge of the Prometheus was certainly an impressive sight. They were on a raised 'T' shaped platform, with stairs leading downwards into control rooms full of computers and navigation equipment either side of them, and the platform's point ahead of them ending with a guard rail around a small desk and computer terminal, and a single chair in which Commander Bullseye sat.

Massive windows gave a view of the Equestrian countryside all around them, showing green fields and forests below, while directly ahead of them they could see Canterlot. They were about the same level as the towers of the palace, and from their position could see a number of multicoloured dragons flying above it, and several others approaching the palace coming from the direction of Ponyville.

"YOU!" Tome screamed, "YOU DIE NOW!"

Bullseye twisted his head around to look at them. He wore an expression of mild shock when he saw the unicorn and his two blood splattered henchponies, knowing full well just how many of his best troops they would have had to murder to reach this point.

He turned his whole body around and rested his hooves on the back of his chair. 

"I surrender."

It was then that the Brotherhood noticed that there were no other knights stationed on the bridge. There were a few ponies on the lower level operating the computer terminals and flying the ship, most of whom were nervously looking over their shoulders at the new arrivals, but no additional security.

It sort of made sense. The only way in or out of this room was already defended. Why place more guards in here too?

"You what?" asked Tome.

"I said I surrender. You win. I'm your prisoner. The ship is yours, the weapons are yours, the staff are yours, and I am at your mercy. May Lord Second spare us all."

Iron Hoof chuckled.

"Hehehe...Cute. He thinks he can kill our friends and get away with it. Ain't that funny, Tomey?"

"Hilarious. Gut this slimy worm."

Bullseye fluttered out of his seat and hovered over the control room, looking nervous.

"Hey now!" he protested, "You can't kill me! I'm surrendering! I give up!"

"Acknowledged."

The bearded unicorn enveloped Bullseye in magic and yanked him out of the air. He hit the ground and tried to grab ahold of the guard rail near his computer terminal, but he was not strong enough.

"This is murder!" he shouted, "If you kill me now while I'm helpless, you'll all be murderers! You think just because you're against Lord Second now, that makes you heroes?!"

"Did I say we were fucking heroes?!" Tome shouted in response.

He held the pegasus upside down with his magic. Bullseye sighed.

"So what's the plan then, hmm?" he asked, "Steal control of the Prometheus, turn its weapons on Second, and just hope he dies? What then? Run off to the princesses and hope they'll forgive you?"

"No. That's not the plan at all," the unicorn answered, "We're going to take the Prometheus, we're going to rescue Ze!zar from captivity, save the entire surviving population of Canterlot from zombies, flood the city with enough Authority to give every single one of those zombies their minds back, take over Secopolis, cure Sun Rise, get little Star Wish and my boy Mystic back, and then we're going to kill Second, and Luna, and Spike the Eternal, and the Elements of Harmony, and everypony else who would support evil! And when we're through, there will be a new Equestria!"

Bullseye gaped at him.

"You're mad!" he shouted, "You're completely, utterly insane! How can you even be expected to do half of those things?!"

"Easily! That Chain Mail asshole called us incompetent...Well, we're not! The Brotherhood of Man has lasted one thousand years! A millennium of secret warfare! Striking from the shadows against the royals throughout the ages, and accomplishing so much that ponies would not dare even speak our name aloud!

"And I would see that age return again! We will fight ALL the tyrants, we will rescue ALL the victims, and then we will disappear into the shadows once more, as a new order is established. One of democracy. No more royals, no more alicorns, no more humans. Just ponies of the people. And when ponykind emerges, blinking in the sunlight, to see their new golden age, they will reflect on what brought them to that point, and they will be reminded of why ponies once feared the name of the Brotherhood of Man!"

Iron Hoof sliced the suspended pegasus clean in half. The body fell on the floor in a squishy pile of gore. Ancient Tome spat on it.

"Just a little overdramatic there, Tomey," Night Shroud commented.

"Really? I thought I was pretty cool."

"Well yeah, as the last thing he ever saw, that must have been intimidating," Iron agreed, "But, it did sound kind of over the top, if you know what I mean?"

"I was just...describing the plan."

"Yeah, but the ranting and raving, and talking about fear, and exaggerating the Brotherhood's reputation...It was still a bit silly."

"It was true though!"

"Yeah, yeah, of course it was."

"Hijacking time now?" asked Night Shroud.

"Hell yeah."


***


Prince Blueblood led them back the way he came, over to the edge of the roof. The crowd he had to push through before had already climbed onto another red dragon's back, so Luna, Quill Tip and the Elements of Harmony had no trouble following him, while Dr. Heat Beat, the two mares and the other stragglers they had picked up on their way through the palace went to go board another dragon flight.

They came over to edge of the roof, where they found a few familiar faces. There was that black alicorn with the weird wings from the funeral, flanked by two other normal ponies they didn't know. There was that fish/human hybrid with his trident. There was that creature that looked like a gargoyle, (but couldn't be because they were meant to be extinct), and there was a regular pony in a Wonderbolts uniform too.

Also accompanying them were a few of the ponies from that bar Gold Coin and Chain Mail had stopped by. Easy Eight, Remus the diamond dog, that weird black unicorn stallion with the eye patch, and a few other ponies who he only partially remembered the extremely convoluted backstories of.

"Ah, Gold Coin," Easy Eight said cheerfully, "Good to see you survived! We were worried you wouldn't make it!"

"No risk of that," the business pony replied, "So what's going on here?"

"The undead are swarming the palace grounds. Most of the royal guard who were outside when they first arrived fled inside when Second showed up, but he disappeared soon after. Nopony is really sure about what happened because most of us only just arrived on the roof. It's been chaos. The doors to the palace itself seem to be holding, but there are ponies in power armour back out in the main city, and they'll be heading this way soon. Once they start blasting us, those doors won't hold.

"Ideally, the dragons would go down there and flash fry them when that happens, but with Second easily able to kill dragons, and them being needed to get everypony out safely, right now we're just preparing to send some of our best down there to deal with it ourselves. Remus can't die, so he can probably take out a fair number of them without personal risk."

"I wouldn't be so sure," Gold Coin replied, "Our friend Explodey can't die either, but he still managed to get himself infected."

"Good point."

"Who else have we got fighting here? I don't know many of the rest of you."

"Oh yes, forgive me," said Luna, "Everypony, allow me to make introductions."

Luna gestured to the walking fish creature with the trident.

"This here is Chancellor Zyukrxyls, of Atlantis. Leader of both the sea ponies and merfolk, collectively known as the Atlanteans."

The chancellor made an indistinguishable gurgling sound, and bubbly water fell out of his mouth.

"And this one is...He has a name, but it can't be pronounced by pony tongues."

"Are you a gargoyle?" Mystic asked him.

The creature gave the colt a dark smile, and replied in a haunting, echoey voice.

"There are no such thing as gargoyles anymore. They all died out ages ago. How could I be one? You silly pony."

Mystic just looked confused. Luna shrugged with her wings.

"And this here is Chrysalis," she continued, "Former-"

"Current, Queen of the Changelings, if you please," the dark mare interrupted, "Those rebels have not ousted me yet."

"Oh!" said Gold Coin, "I thought you looked strange for a pony! So are these two here-?"

The two guards by her side flashed green momentarily leaving behind two dark, insectoid ponies with jagged but short horns, fly wings, empty blue eyes and sharp fangs rather reminiscent of Sliske's teeth, except much smaller.

"Yep, also changelings," the one on the left answered, "Representing her majesty's personal guard."

"Huh..." Soft Spoken muttered, "I haven't seen a changeling in years. Hey, do either of you know Ambassador Vanish? Whatever happened to him?"

"Vanish died of old age sixty years ago," Chrysalis replied, "Why?"

"Oh...Never mind..."

The old stallion sighed.

"What's this about rebels I'm hearing?" asked Chain Mail, "I'm not very up to date on foreign politics, but this isn't the first I've heard about an uprising with the changelings. I think somepony mentioned a civil war...In a bar somewhere I think..."

He turned around and looked at the black unicorn with the eye patch, who he had recognised earlier. He hadn't said anything since they had arrived.

"In fact, it was you, right? You're that mercenary who-"

"DIE ROYALIST SCUM!"

The eye patch pony pulled a knife out of nowhere and rushed at Chrysalis, but her horn lit up with green magic and she casually tossed him off the side of the castle, not even bothering to look down after he fell.

"I get at least three of those every day now," she muttered, "It is incredibly annoying."

Luna, for her part, just looked disturbed.

"Hey, ponies," said Remus, "If we're all done with formalities, there's a horde of walking corpses down there that need stomping."

"Quite right," said the unnamed Wonderbolt, "Let's put these things out of their misery."

Remus, Easy Eight, the Chancellor, and a few of the bar ponies all took a running jump off the roof and plummeted down to the grounds below. The gargoyle, the Wonderbolt, Chrysalis and her bodyguards, and the bar ponies who were also pegasi took flight and swooped down out of sight.

"...That was insanely cool," Gold Coin commented.

"I want to see the superhero fight!" Mystic complained, "I can't see it!"

The wall at the edge of the roof, made to prevent ponies from falling off, was too tall for Mystic to see over. Feeling sorry for the frustrated colt, Soft Spoken leaned down so that he could climb on his back. He propped himself up on the edge so that his passenger could peer down at the raging battle below, as all the exotic visitors to Canterlot ripped through legions of the undead.

"Front row seats, sonny," he replied.

Mystic smiled as he watched the action going on below. Remus was tearing zombies apart with his bare hands. Easy Eight was using some kind of future laser technology to disintegrate his attackers. The Atlantean chancellor was impaling zombies on his trident, and occasionally spewing water from his mouth like a fire hose.

The three changelings were mostly using magic to fight, flying above the scene and raining sickly green fire on the zombies to burn them alive. The Wonderbolt was mostly airborne, but kept flying down to smash zombies with his hooves. The gargoyle was doing something similar except using hands.

And of course there were several of the other bar ponies with their amazing, unexplained superpowers.

All in all, it made for a very entertaining fight. Especially when Agent C showed up, now as a zombie, and started fighting one on one against Remus. Soft Spoken, Gold Coin and Chain Mail all cheered loudly as the diamond dog recovered all his wounds instantly, much like Explodey did, and got right up to claw the minotaur in the face.

Despite that though, Luna and Mystic both remained silent. They shared horrified glances, as they had both seen what the other stallions had missed in their enthusiasm for the fight. Down below, they noticed the cover missing from Princess Celestia's tomb, and the body was absent.

Mystic leapt off Softy's back and stood by the princess's side as she began to weep.


***


The duel was getting more and more intense. Neither Celestia nor Second could spare any of their effort towards actual magic, and kept their balance on the log through a combination of skill and luck. As it continued to jet along the ever widening river at ever greater speeds, and water continued to splash up and periodically drench them both, they kept up their attacks.

Second was more aggressive and risky with his strikes. He was less worried about falling off the log for whatever reason, and was very daring in his fighting style. Celestia in turn was on the defensive for most of the fight, deflecting Second's blows and only counterattacking when there was a clear window of opportunity. This more reserved fighting style was definitely getting her hit less, and she did a lot of damage on the human, but with his damned healing factor, none of it was sticking.

There was a roar of water up ahead. The princess took her attention off Second for a moment to look downstream. There was another waterfall coming up. She looked back at her crippled wing, and cursed her bad luck. Second had stopped attacking for the moment, realising their dilemma.

"There are some rocks at the edge of the waterfall over there!" Celestia shouted, "I will use my magic to steer us into them!"

Second nodded, and Celestia's horn glowed along with the log they were on. It did not spin in place again, but still the princess managed to guide its movements. They were getting scarily close to the edge now, but Celestia just closed her eyes and concentrated. The human looked over the edge at the sheer drop below, and was glad when the log came to a stop, getting mostly caught behind another rock.

Celestia opened her eyes again, just in time to see Second raise Luna's horn again. This time it was a telekinesis spell. He lifted the princess into the air and threw her off the top of the waterfall, knowing that she could no longer fly.

"Hah!"

Then he realised that Celestia's magical field was still covering the log. As she fell, she tugged at it, and the log came out from behind the rocks again.

"OHGODTHATWASSTUPIDI'MGONNADIE!"

Not a sheer drop onto sharp rocks this time though. This time the log shot through the air like a rocket, with Second barely keeping ahold on top of it. Celestia pulled the log towards her in freefall, intending to catch herself with it. Second had other plans though. He jumped off the log in the air and grabbed Celestia instead, hanging off her neck and pushing her away from the log.

They had a long drop, but even the largest drops still only took a few seconds.

The princess hit the water backwards, while Second laid on top of her to use her body to break his fall. They both sank underwater, but the human was able to get back up to the surface first, while simultaneously trying to hold his opponent underwater with his legs. He didn't even know if alicorns could die by drowning, but he was still going to try.

Celestia also did not know if humans could die by drowning, but she had a similar line of thought. Using both hooves and her magic, she grabbed Second by the legs and yanked him back underwater again. She actually couldn't drown, so she remained underwater too, making sure to hold down Second and ensure he did.

He kicked her off and moved through the water towards her. Unfortunately for him, water seemed to slow humans down a lot. Celestia almost cracked a smile when she saw Second moving at a snail's pace towards her. She also enjoyed the look of stunned disbelief on his face when she leapt and bound through the water like it was air to avoid his next attack.

"Okay, the goddess of the sun and fire has the advantage underwater," he thought, "How is that fair?! Grrr...No matter...Guess I've got to clear out all this water!"

He raised his fist. Rather than hit Celestia with it though, he brought it down onto the river bed. It was slow moving, but the laws of physics buckled before the human once again, and he hit the river bed with enough power and force to cause a small scale earthquake.

All the water in the river jumped into the air as the ground shook. Second and Celestia barely managed to remain standing after the impact, but both looked up in shock at the mass of water above them. Celestia was wondering what the hell the human had done, while Second was both amazed that his plan had actually worked, and horrified because he had just forgotten that what goes up must come down.

The mass of water rained down again, and both Second and Celestia were nearly knocked unconscious as it hit them like a tonne of bricks.


***


The ponies in power armour had finally shown up for the battle, and things weren't looking good. Down below, explosive barrages breached the door to the palace, and zombies began to swarm inside, despite the best efforts of the royal guard and civilian and foreign volunteers. Remus and the Gargoyle were willing to keep up the fight, but Easy Eight and the Chancellor both nearly got killed by the power armour troops, and Chrysalis withdrew once one of he bodyguards dropped.

"I's not looking good," said Blueblood, "I don't think we'll be able to get everypony out in time."

"No..." Luna muttered, "These poor ponies...They're not going to make it...Are they, Blue?"

She grabbed the prince and almost crushed him with a hug.

"I can't do this..." she cried, "I'm a terrible princess! I can't even protect my little ponies! Tia would have never let this happen! Tia would have been strong...And now she's gone...and one of them...and I'm stuck up here, being useless. I tried, Blue! I tried so hard!"

"Uhh...Princess?" Soft Spoken interrupted.

"WHAT?!"

He pointed above them. Luna looked up, and her jaw dropped as a gigantic airship flew above them, approaching Canterlot mountain. It cast a massive shadow, and had it stopped closer to the castle itself, the thing would have been large enough to blot out the sun. The gondola, also massive in its scale, opened a cargo door on the side to reveal a large empty space that could have probably fit Spike inside if he folded his wings.

"CITIZENS OF CANTERLOT. THIS IS THE AIRSHIP PROMETHEUS. WE ARE HERE TO RESCUE YOU. EVERYPONY REMAIN CALM AND BOARD THE SHIP THROUGH THE CARGO DOOR. THERE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH SPACE TO ACCOMODATE EVERYPONY."

The ship began to lower, and turn on its side so that the open cargo door was level with the rooftop. It edged closer, and the sky did indeed darken as its form eclipsed the sun. Eventually, the cargo door touched the roof and made a ramp up into the large, empty room within. The dragons all took off at once and cleared space on the roof, as the citizens of Canterlot all made a mad dash for the Prometheus.

The crowd began to stampede. Luna, the Elements, the volunteers and the royal guards all hung back to clear the way for the civilians. Without having to line up for the dragon flights, the citizens had all boarded within mere minutes, leaving the roof clear except for the fighters.

The royal guards began to retreat onto the roof as well. Commander Hail was among the guards pulling out, and he explained that the lower levels of the castle were already lost to the zombies. A few brave soldiers had offered to sacrifice themselves to hold the doors closed down below, hoping to resist the onslaught for long enough for everypony to get clear.

"Thank you, Commander," Luna said sincerely, "They will not be forgotten."

The night guard saluted, and flew off towards the open door of the Prometheus. The last of the civilians and palace staff were just boarding now, including Quill Tip and the volunteers, followed closely by the last of the guards. Chrysalis and Blueblood were some of the few to stay behind.

"...Princess?" said Soft Spoken, "Shouldn't we be going as well?"

"Yeah, just about everypony else is boarding now, even the guards," Gold Coin agreed, "Why are we waiting around?"

Mystic looked at them sadly.

"Princess Celestia's tomb is open," he explained.

Immediately, the friends understood Luna's hesitation.

"...I am sorry, your highness," the old stallion replied, "I understand how you must feel, but if somepony like her now walks among those creatures pouring into the castle, that's all the more reason to leave."

"You're right. I apologise. Come, let us be on our way."

There was a flash of light, and just in front of the group, Ancient Tome appeared. Just like when he confronted Gold Coin and Mystic Chant as they attempted to flee Sparkle Manor, he was once again dressed in the robes of the Equestrian military's elite warlocks. The robes were all star patterned, and came with a pointy hat which drooped over at the top, and just inside the cloak was a sheathed sword which the warlocks only ever used in emergencies anyway, and was made even more pointless by the fact that he was levitating a semi-automatic rifle, pointed right at them.

"Nopony move, or you all get the Celestia treatment."


***


"Gah..."

Second pulled himself out of the water and onto a muddy river bank. His outer clothes were all mostly gone now, and all that was left behind now were a few soaked and tattered rags, his underwear, mercifully, and his exposed burnt skin.

He laid back on the river bank, breathing heavy and coughing up water. He felt his face; the eye patch had long since been lost. He wasn't sure when it came off, but at some point he had lost it. This probably meant that he had a load of dirty river water flowing into his head through his eye socket, and drowning his brain. It certainly felt like it.

He coughed again, and brought up a live fish, which flopped about on the bank near him, before sliding down the muddy incline and back into the river. Then he saw Princess Celestia also pulling herself out of the water. She crawled out onto the same river bank, just as he did, and collapsed next to him. She was also coughing up river water and breathing heavily.

"...So was it good for you too?"

Celestia looked up angrily at the human. She tried to climb to her hooves again, but couldn't do it. She was too fatigued, and her legs ached. Turns out that alicorns could still tire, even if they could not be injured by conventional means.

Second chuckled, and rolled over so that he had his back to her.

"Be quiet, don't move, don't say a word, don't even change your facial expression. Imagine you're frozen for a minute, and just listen to what I have to say."

Celestia was still. She didn't know where he was going with this, but she decided to hear him out.

"You can hit me now. How come?"

It was a struggle to keep the same pose and facial expression as she spoke, but the princess managed it.

"I discovered the truth about what we are. I know what you were talking about now. You can only be hit by...main characters..."

Referring to herself or her ponies as fictional characters in a story still left a bad taste in the princess's mouth, but she had to be clear to Second that she knew what he knew.

"Heh...And you didn't go mad? Maybe I should have given you more credit..."

"Yes. You should have."

"But you learned of the true nature of your world. How?"

Your son told me, is what she tried to say. Something stopped her though. Celestia tried to explain, tried to tell him the truth, but there was something preventing her. An outside force that she could almost feel the presence of clogged up her throat when she tried to speak the words, and clouded her mind when she thought them.

"The universe revealed its own secrets to me."

What?! That's not what happened at all!

"...Did it now?"

Is this what First was talking about? Is this that force...that...Dramatic Convenience...There to keep the story going? Second said something about it too...just before he killed me...

"This is a three act story!"

But he must know about First! If I could only tell him! But...

"...So you know of Dramatic Convenience? That accursed tool of bad writers, that allows them to ignore the status quo, and the laws of common sense?"

Yes. It's actively hindering my efforts to communicate with you right now.

"...And the source of your power."

The human cleared his throat.

"And the source of my power, yes. More importantly though, it is a tool of great evil."

"...How do you mean?"

"Celestia, think. My people made your entire universe. Studio B, who for the sake of the primitives I like to call the Pantheon, planned out every detail of your world. Including the history of it, and the physics, and the laws of the universe."

The princess raised an eyebrow.

"And?"

"So think about it. Think about the history of Equestria, and this planet, and yourself. Think about them in their entirety. I want you to remember every innocent death, every tragedy to ever occur, every natural disaster, every disease, every famine, every war, and every single misfortune ever visited on anypony throughout all of time. And then remember that as the architects of history, they're responsible for every single one of them."

Celestia's eyes widened in realisation. Second just let out a low, raspy chuckle.

"Yes. You see our problem now? A group of nigh omnipotent beings, outside of your universe, and responsible for everything bad that ever happened to it, including me. And it's not just your precious little ponies they've been jerking around. They set us against each other. Our initial conflict one thousand years ago was a story, penned by human writers. Neither of us were fully in control of our own destinies, and we still aren't."

"This Pantheon is still active?"

"They're playing a long game, Celestia. Setting up a conflict that has lasted millennia. They've brought in other factions as well, creatures from thousands of years before either of us. We're both pawns in the most elaborate game of chess ever played. The board spans all of Creation, and we're both getting played by a grand master."

"...So what are we going to do?"

"I heard 'we' in there, Celestia. I like that, because I was about to propose a plan that I think you might like."

"Go on..."

"Now, you could take me down here and now...Or we could use the screen time we have to buy ourselves more space to act freely outside of it. Plan a counter attack. This Pantheon is completely omnipotent, that is true. However, they are not omniscient. We can take them by surprise, and as long as that is possible...We can take them down."

"But how though?"

"I'm still working on the specifics, but I know something that may help us. I helped design the cosmos. All the stars and galaxies out there, princess...they're hiding secrets. Secrets that I can use. Weapons to allow us to take the fight to our mutual enemies. Something that may even physically harm them through the universal barriers, if it were ever possible.

"I can harness this power, I can obtain those weapons, but I can't do it unassisted. I need to work around the constraints of this god-awful story, and then I can strike back. It'll be the biggest gamble anyone's ever taken, but if we win, we win everything. I can give you a world of no Gods and no masters, where you are the ultimate authority.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you? Not just taking down one Elder God...but taking down every single one of them at once! Imagine one world under ponykind...With no human hands clutching the globe, and no extra-dimensional forces warping time and space around you. Your world could be...complete."

"...And yourself?"

"Me? I'd disappear and never bother you again. I want nothing more than my freedom, but I'm a prisoner of story conventions just like you. That's what this is though. We're planning a jailbreak. And once we're both over that barbed wire and the prison lies in flaming ruins behind us, we can both go our separate ways, and you'll never need to worry about me again. I've got a home already, and I miss it dearly."

The princess sighed.

"Why should I trust you? And why should I take your side over this Pantheon? What makes you any better than them?"

"You want an honest answer? You shouldn't trust me. I would not trust a human, were I you. We're not a trustworthy people, and not known for being benevolent. However, I am the only one who can help you against the Pantheon. As for why I'm better than them? Well...truth is, I'm not. In fact, depending on how you look at it, I may be worse.

"But that's just a matter of opinion. Do you define what makes us better by actions or intent? If you go by intent, I am undoubtedly your worst enemy. I have caused deliberate damage to you on a scale almost not seen before. I planned to do all of it, I wanted to do all of it, and I'm not even sorry. The Pantheon? They don't even know that you're real thinking beings. They're just writing a story. They don't know that they've caused so much actual harm.

"However, if you go by actions, if it's what we actually do that matters to you, then the Pantheon becomes your enemy, because despite everything I've done it still does not compare to them. Think about it. Every tragedy in history can all be laid at their feet, and they're the ones who are writing the stories about me, so you can also technically count them responsible for all the stuff I did as well.

"In the end, princess, there's no way for us to communicate with them. The Pantheon is out of our reach, and they don't believe that we're real. So if we don't stop them, they will continue to inflict disasters and plagues on Equestria, and they will never, ever stop. You can side with them if you want to, and you might even kill me, but this whole scenario to me seems like a pilot for a new TV series. 

"What's the bet that once I die, they'll just make another villain for you to fight? Or release an old one? How'd you like to see Discord loose again? They could do it. Just a scratch of a pencil, and that draconequus could break out and wreak havoc on Equestria all over again. They'd probably do it, too. Humans love Discord."

Celestia laid still, taking in his words. She closed her eyes and contemplated the idea of the Pantheon. These humans were obscenely powerful. She was having enough trouble just stopping one. If she ever wanted to deal with this Pantheon, it would have to be by siding with Second...Wouldn't it?

Could Lord First also be capable of opposing the Pantheon? Would she even be able to get in contact with him again? Was there any way to communicate with the realm of the afterlife?

No. There couldn't be, or else there would have been before. And First had expressed no desire to take down the Pantheon when she spoke with him. Did he not care about their presence? About the damage they did? Did he simply believe they were not a problem? Or...could it be that he actually still supported them? She didn't know how human society worked, but she didn't think it too unreasonable to believe that humans were likely to be more loyal to each other than to ponies.

"This Pantheon..." she said, "They're writing stories about us...but they support the ponies, don't they? We're the heroes of the story. That means we'd always win if there were new villains, right?"

Second looked over his shoulder at her.

"Yes. You'd always win. But that doesn't guarantee that everything will be peachy perfect by the end of it. You can still have casualties. Innocent ponies can still die. Equestria can still suffer, and it won't necessarily recover. Don't think that just because they support you, they care about your feelings or comfort. They only want to make you dance for their amusement, and if bad things happen in the meantime, then they won't care.

"So that's your choice. Side with the Pantheon, and I'll lose. I will probably suffer a horrific, but karmic death for my actions, Equestria will survive, and it's guaranteed to survive for a long time, but you may have to put up with more monsters like me dropping in to destroy things every once in a while. Or, side with me. We destroy the Pantheon, I leave, then there's no guarantee of victory anymore, but also no more meddling, invisible overlords, and no more new monsters being unleashed on your world. Those are your choices, princess."

Damn it! It was like he knew exactly what to say! She could easily put him out of his misery, but he was actually offering to sell out the rest of the humans menacing her world from afar in exchange for his life! And what's more, these humans were responsible for even more atrocities than he was! It was like choosing between helping Discord or helping windigoes! What was she supposed to do?!

"Can you promise me that your plan will work?"

"Yes."

"And that no more innocents will be harmed?"

"No."

"What?! But-"

"I'm not going to go out of my way to hurt anyone, but even I do not have total control. I cannot promise that no-one will come to harm, because sometimes people get hurt by accident."

"Second-"

"Celestia, you've heard my offer. Take it or leave it."

It was honestly remarkable how even when pleading for his life, he still managed to remain arrogant and rude. And still managed to act like he was the one who held all the cards. He was laying on a muddy river bank, mostly naked and shivering in the cold. He certainly didn't look like anyone in a position to make demands.

Nevertheless....

"What do you need from me?"

Though Celestia could not see him, Second grinned.


***


Spike swooped down towards Ancient Tome. He was not willing to give the stallion a chance to inflict any more harm on the princess or her friends. They had already suffered enough without this pony trying to do more damage. He got ready to let loose a torrent of fire to incinerate him where he stood.

The Prometheus however, had other plans.

Several hatches in the side of the airship opened up, and the Prometheus brought its massive cannons to bear. The ponies flinched as they fired, and Spike was knocked sideways mid-flight, crashing down below the castle. Luna ran over to the edge of the roof again.

"SPIKE!" she cried.

"I'm okay, princess," her friend replied as he flew back up to her level again, "It'll take more than that to bring this old dragon down. That barely left a scratch."

"NOPONY MOVE," ordered the voice coming from the Prometheus's speakers, "ANCIENT TOME REPRESENTS THE BROTHERHOOD OF MAN. AS A BROTHERHOOD SHIP, THE PROMETHEUS WILL OPEN FIRE ON ANY TARGETS HOSTILE TO HIM."

The colour drained from the princess's face. She had just left the entire civilian population of Canterlot in the hooves of a heavily armed terrorist group. The civilians themselves seemed to notice this, and attempted to flee back out onto the roof, but the cargo door quickly slammed shut, locking them inside. Now the dragons couldn't even attack the vessel, because it was full of helpless innocents.

Tome meanwhile inched closer to them. The rifle switched targets between the Elements of Harmony, Blueblood, Luna and Chrysalis, him making sure to keep them all in line.

"I want no more trouble from any of you," he said calmly, "I am just here for my son, and maybe to kill Gold Coin. Maybe. Depends on how cooperative you're all feeling. Mystic, come here now."

"No!"

"Son, please..."

"No! Go away! I hate you!"

"Mystic, as your father I am ordering you-"

Mystic sprouted fangs and hissed at him.

"He sssssssaid 'no'. Back off, before ssssssomepony getssss hurt."

Threatening the unicorn seemed to do nothing but make him angrier however. He raised the gun again and looked down the sights at him.

"You get out of him, you monster!" he ordered, "You shouldn't even be here! You deserve to rot in whatever prison you spent the last thousand years in!"

"Maybe I do, but sssssinccccccce I am here, you can lissssssten to me and-"

The alien stopped. He looked up at his own forehead.

"...Are you sssure?"

There was a pause.

"Fine."

The teeth disappeared again, leaving Mystic back in control.

"I said, go away!" he shouted, "You're a terrible dad, and I hate you! I never want to see you again!"

"Mystic..." Tome sighed, "Look, I know I made mistakes. The whole Brotherhood did. We realise that now. We've turned against Second, and we want to fight him too. We're only trying to do what's right, son. I'm trying to make a better world. I did it for you! So did your auntie Arts, and Frosty, your uncle Mystic Rites...And your mother. We did it all because we thought it was best!"

Mystic shook his head angrily, and his horn burst with light. He threw dozens of tiny thunderbolts at his father. Tome didn't think to put up a shield, but it turned out it wasn't necessary, as they only lightly stung him and left small black singes on his coat, before he did make a half hearted attempt at a shield spell which blocked them all effortlessly.

Without Sliske, Mystic still had all the magic of a foal.

Tome just looked at his son sadly while he kept throwing pathetic jolts of electricity at him, before wearing himself out and collapsing. The exhausted unicorn panted as he ran away again and hid behind Soft Spoken.

"Make him go away, Softy!" he cried.

Tome tried to approach, but Gold Coin held out a hoof to stop him in his path.

"Ah!" he scolded, "Don't come any closer! He's made it clear you're not welcome here, so you might as well just go."

Ancient Tome's face contorted in rage, and he aimed at Gold Coin.

"You're the one who turned him against me!" he shouted, "You made me take Second back to my house! You're the reason he found out! And when I tried to just keep him somewhere safe so I could explain to him in private, you kidnapped him and ran away! You ruined my life!"

He turned the gun on Softy.

"And you! I didn't want to hurt you either, old friend, but you betrayed me too! You were never even supposed to be involved! You were just my butler! Another pony out of many I wanted to make a better world for! Why did you have to ruin everything?!"

"We did nothing to you," Softy replied coldly, "You're just a fool, and a deluded fool at that. You hide behind your conspiracy theories and hold them up as validation for your crimes. You talk of the greater good and a better world, and think that excuses everything you did. You don't get forgiven just for having good intention. Actions speak louder than words, and your actions show that you're still a cowardly idiot who blames everypony else for all his problems. You're dangerous to your foal, and I could never in good conscience let Mystic leave with you."

"...Softy-"

"And don't call me that. You don't get to call me by nicknames and talk as if we're friends. We are not friends, Mr. Tome, and we never were. You were my employer, and nothing more. You were a fair employer, and you paid well, but you're an awful pony, and I despise you. Please leave."

Tome looked at the rifle floating in front of him. The world flashed around him, and for a moment, he was back on that little grassy hill holding the original Reaper's Horn, looking down at Gold Coin and his terrified son again.

He sighed, and tossed it aside.

"Fine."

Ancient Tome disappeared in a flash of light, and the Prometheus roared to life as it began to fly away. Meanwhile, the little blue colt hugged Soft Spoken's legs and cried.


***


Celestia sighed dejectedly. Surely no master plan to liberate the universe from invisible overlords was worth humiliation like this?

Second was carrying her back towards Canterlot. She was slung over his shoulder and held with one arm like a roll of carpet, and with every step the human took she would bob up and down uncomfortably. Her head hung limply, and all she could see was the blurry motion of the muddy ground beneath them, and occasionally she would wince as Second's shoulder dug into her stomach when he climbed or ascended steps of some kind.

The idea was meant to be that she was to act as if she had been defeated. She was meant to be unconscious, and Second was taking her back to the city to show her limp and lifeless body to the Elements of Harmony as proof of his victory, when he made the formal challenge for them to come down and face them himself. Though she had gained main character status, and thus could hurt him, the story was still meant to be about the Elements of Harmony, and thus it had to be them who defeated him.

And when they did defeat him, it would be Celestia's job to use her magic to protect him from the worst of it. When they unleashed their power to finally stop him and cleanse Canterlot of the zombie plague, her magic would protect him from being permanently turned to stone, or banished, or killed, or whatever else could happen to him, and allow him to return shortly after his defeat.

His explanation was that after the zombies were returned to normal and he was defeated by the new Elements, the story would be considered 'over', and thus his role in it, and the outside force pressuring him to do villainous things would also cease. With him no longer having to play the role of a petty, baby strangling maniac, he could then focus all his efforts on the ultimate plan to stop the Pantheon of B, and Celestia could freely explain the full situation to her sister and the Elements of Harmony, and they could openly work together on it.

At least, that was the theory. Second freely admitted that this could easily go horribly wrong.

What's more, he was placing an awful amount of trust in her. He was fully planning on going up against the Elements and losing, expecting to take the full power of their magic. Only her protective spells would save him from another eternity trapped in stone, or an extended vacation on the moon. She could very easily betray him, and his reign of terror would be over. And he wouldn't be able to do anything about it. He put all his faith in her keeping her word.

"...So, Second?"

"Mmhmm?"

"If I may ask, why was I not allowed to move while you were explaining this plan to me on the river bank?"

"It's all about the split-second cuts," the human replied, "The show that you were originally a part of, Friendship is Magic, was primarily made for children. Thus it had to be child friendly, and thus was subject to a lot of censorship. A work for children cannot have any swearing, extreme violence, sexual content, or anything like that. And in case you didn't notice, I have a gutter mouth that would make even the most vulgar of comedy performers blush. You can thank my redneck upbringing for that.

"Of course, since I was part of a show meant to be for children, and my actions in this world are roughly what the television audience would see, obviously that means that cuts in the middle of my sentences would have occured so that my swearing wouldn't make it into the show. The same must have happened to cut out references to the real world, as I doubt that the show would explicitly feature one of the writers as a character, especially since from the perspective of the real world, everyone must think I'm dead by now, as I disappeared and never came back. Humans would consider that disrespectful to my memory.

"After all, me and Anthony's rampage across Equestria lasted several weeks, but your average FiM episode is only twenty two minutes, and at most two of them would have focused on us. That leaves less than three quarters of an hour out of several weeks of actions that would have been shown. It only focuses on the interesting stuff, and time skips occur between cuts, so if nothing interesting is happening, then it probably wouldn't be part of those forty five minutes shown on television."

Celestia was confused.

"...And your point is...?"

"A fight between you and me is certainly an important enough event that it would get a scene. However, our fight lasted a long time, so there would be cuts even in the middle of that so as to only focus on the interesting stuff. They couldn't show the full fifteen minutes or so of us fighting, could they? No. There would be cuts. And by staying still and doing nothing like we did, we ensured nothing interesting was happening other than our conversation, which could not be shown anyway because of the subject matter we were discussing, thus it would have occured off screen and would not be part of a writer's script or an animator's art work, and THAT is how you act outside the constraints of the story's narrative."

"...You've really given this a lot of thought, haven't you?"

"With the kind of people we're up against, that is a necessity."

They continued on in silence for several minutes more. Then, out of nowhere, Second started speaking to himself.

"I've got a better idea, why don't you fuck off?"

"Excuse me?" Celestia replied.

"Not talking to you."

"Who are you talking to then?"

"A tiny naked man who lives in my head."

"...What?"

"I'm perfectly normal. There's nothing wrong with me."

"OH PLEASE DON'T SING THAT AGAIN!"


***


Tome appeared again on the bridge of the Prometheus, where he found Iron Hoof and Night Shroud waiting.

"Sorry, Tomey," Iron said sympathetically, "You did all you could."

"Yeah...Enough of that. We still have duties to attend to. Since we can't kill Luna with my son still down there, and we can't kill Spike with all the rest of these dragons around, that means our next objective should be getting these ponies to safety and picking up Sun Rise and Star Wish back in Secopolis. Speaking of, did you get Ze!zar?"

"We did," Night Shroud replied, "One of the unicorn crew members teleported down to collect him from the prison under threat of death. He returned two minutes ago. Ze!zar is currently unconscious in the medical bay. We sent another unicorn to clear out the corpses down there and sterilise it."

"Excellent. Well, we all know what to do now then. Turn us around and head back for Secopolis."


***


Spike landed back on the roof again and stuck out a wing for the ponies to climb on.

"We're almost out of time. Hurry!"

Luna, the Elements and Blueblood all climbed onto the dragon's back, and he prepared to take off again.

"Are you not coming, Chrysalis?" Luna asked.

"Not now," the changeling queen replied, "Much as I would like to, I've already been away too long, and my forces need me for morale purposes. We'll never overcome these rebels if we don't all pitch in."

"I understand."

She fluttered over and landed on Spike's back as well.

"For what it's worth, I am sorry for your loss. I hope you'll get past this eventually, with some help from your friends of course..."

"Chrysalis, I know that look, and now is really not the time."

The changeling scowled at her.

"I'll get you one day, princess..."

She jumped up and took to the sky again, followed closely by her surviving bodyguard.

Gold Coin raised an eyebrow curiously.

"Did she just-?"

There was a sudden gasping of air that nearly made the business pony jump out of his skin. Everypony looked over to Explodey, who was awake again, and looking panicked. The grey hadn't spread much further than when they last checked on him, but the fact he was awake again wasn't good.

"Oh shit," said Chain Mail, "I just realised that Dr. Heart Beat left in the Prometheus! That means we don't have anypony left to find a cure for Explodey!"

These words did nothing to help Explodey, who began to freak out even more.

"Oh..." the captain continued, "Even worse. Dr. Heart Beat hadn't yet cracked the formula for the drugs in my suit! I need that formula, or I could drop dead from oxygen deprivation when this suit runs out!"

Explodey began hyperventilating.

Nearby, a pair of doors leading back down into the castle burst open, and several zombie ponies rushed out onto the rooftop. Among their ranks were Agent C and several zombified royal guards.

"And now there are super zombies too!" Gold Coin shouted.

This finally pushed Explodey over the edge, and he started spasming erratically. Spike finally took off, and the other dragons waiting on standby flew out of his way as he rose, and then swooped down once he was clear to begin bathing the rooftop in fire.

"Explodey!" Softy shouted, "Are you okay?!"

"AGGHH!" he screamed, "NO I'M NOT! I THINK I'M DYING!"

"Oh, this is just fucking wonderful!" Gold Coin raged, "This is EXACTLY what we needed right now!"

Already the wind was rushing past them as Spike climbed higher and higher. They passed through the cloud layer and up into the sunny blue sky above. Everything became bright again, and the air was crisp and fresh.

"Guys..." Explodey muttered, "I'm...I think...Something's wrong...I'm not just dying...I'm...."

He closed his eyes.


***


"...The hell?"

Everything was misty and white. What was this place? What was going on?

"Oh yeah...I like that..."

Explodey turned around and saw a comfy chair facing away from him. There was a little stand next to it with a lamp on it; the sole feature in this empty void.

The unicorn sneaked over to the side and peered over the top of the chair. He saw that it was occupied by a human, though not Lord Second. This human was much younger looking, with light brown hair and a t-shirt, which had a curious red stain on the stomach, and wearing a pair of reading glasses. He was using the lamp light to read a magazine with lots of pictures of humans in it, though different from the humans he was used to seeing, and wearing less clothes.

"Uh...hello?" he said.

"GAH!"

The human nearly jumped out of his chair and dropped the magazine. His spectacles also fell off.

"HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET HERE?!" he demanded, "YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO DIE!"

"Wait, I'm dead?!" Explodey demanded, "I can actually die?! Then this is...Is this the afterlife?!"

"Uh..."

"Who are you? Wait! You're the First, aren't you?!"

First's eyes darted down to the magazine on the floor. He slowly lowered his hand towards it, but Explodey grabbed it in his telekinesis.

"Hey, what is this?"

First snatched it out of the air.

"It's a...human history book. Yeah, that's it. Very sensitive. Not for pony eyes. Could burn your eyes out and drive you to insanity. Eldritch knowledge, and all that. Mmhmm."

Explodey grabbed it again and ripped it open. He quickly scanned the pages.

"Hey, what's that one human doing to that other human?" he asked.

First grabbed it again.

"I TOLD YOU-"

There was a pop, and Explodey vanished again. First looked around him in confusion, and saw that he was nowhere to be found.

"...Huh..."


***


Second stood in place, staring in disbelief at the sight of Canterlot Castle. The whole place was a ghost town. Zombies shuffled in and out of the front door, occasionally moaning, though not often. Up above, the sky was free from dragons, and he heard no sounds of a fight or struggle. He put Celestia down on the floor just next to her tomb and leapt up to the rooftop. There he discovered no fleeing civilians, no survivors, no refugees of any kind. Just piles of ash and one or two zombies wandering out of a rooftop exit. And a pair of minotaur horns.

What had happened? Where were all the ponies? Where were the military fighting back? Where were the heroes, using their Elements of Harmony to save the day? There was nothing here. Canterlot had gone quiet. All he could hear was the wind and the unenthusiastic grumblings of a rotting earth pony as it shambled past. The thing glared at him through one single yellowed eye. He was well aware of the feeling, and felt his own empty eye socket.

He jumped back off the roof and landed on the green again. Celestia sat up and looked at him. He shrugged.

"Nothing," he reported, "They all disappeared."

He walked past her, up to the remains of her tomb. With an angry kick, he smashed the rest of it to tiny stone chips.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" he screamed, "WHAT KIND OF STORY IS THIS?! ISN'T THIS THE CLIMAX?! WHERE ARE THE HEROES?! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE STOPPED HERE! THE PONIES ARE MEANT TO FIX EVERYTHING! WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY?!"

He sat down on the steps leading up to the tomb and buried his face in his hands.

"I just don't understand it," he groaned, "I have no clue where the writers are going with this. None of this makes even the slightest fucking sense. What kind of heroes turn and run when they're meant to be saving the world? They're the Elements of Harmony! They can cure the zombies! They can stop me! So why did they run? Why leave Canterlot to its fate? How could I have...won?"

He looked up again.

"Holy shit. I won. I actually won..."

He looked at his hands.

"How did that happen?"

"This isn't going to plan, is it?" Celestia said dryly.

"No, it's not. I've become too competent for my own good. I underestimated my own forces. I didn't think they'd be able to take the city before we all got wiped out."

"So what now?"

Second stood up and massaged his temples.

"I don't know...Something...I need to revise my plan. I didn't foresee this possibility. The writer is trickier than I thought he was. He went through all the trouble of setting up a fake climax...All the elements were there! The heroes knew what their role was, and had the capability to stop me. I had my army, arguably at the height of its power. We knew enough about what was going on, and I just assumed that it would all come to a head in Canterlot. But it didn't...It's bigger than that. The scale of it is..."

He froze.

"No wait!" he shouted, "I've got it! This is perfect! The heroes aren't strong enough! That's what this is! They're going away for an extended training montage! What we're experiencing now is second act, not the third! They'll learn of their true potential and unlock greater power, building up their strength for the true final conflict. Not you and me, but me and them! The new Elements of Harmony, versus a demon from the old days who fought the originals! A battle of such epic proportion that the foundations of the world will shake! The war of the century, Celestia!"

"I don't understand. How does this help us?"

"It helps us immensely! Because what it means is that the focus is on the heroes as they better themselves! We've got our time off screen! The story won't focus on me anymore, because it's all on them! They're the heart and soul of the piece, while I'm just supposed to sit around and wait for my defeat! But while I do that, I can get to work on my plan! We can strike back against the Pantheon right at the very end!"

Celestia tilted her head.

"So what you're saying is that while they prepare to fight you, you'll be free to prepare to fight the Pantheon, and then when the times comes we can all fight the Pantheon together?"

"Yes! Exactly! But we've got to do it just perfectly. If I mess this up even slightly, it'll more than likely just kill everyone."

"You need to actually explain this plan to me. What kind of weapon are you banking on, that you think will harm Elder Gods?"

"I can't go into detail I'm afraid, but trust me, it's brilliant."

"Second, I don't trust you. You've given me no reason to. I should kill you and put an end to all of this. After what you did to Canterlot, to my little ponies, to my sister...I think letting you live is the worst thing I've ever done. And after this is all over, I'm going to step down from the throne, because letting a creature like you run free is the ultimate proof that I'm not a worthy ruler."

Second rolled his eyes.

"Always the serious one, aren't you? Never could embrace the chaotic side of life. Always the pretty little princess, so good and pure. It's what I like about you, but damn if it isn't also your most annoying trait. Of course, being as you are now, maybe we can look forward to that changing a little?"

"...What?"

"Have you looked in a mirror recently, Celestia?"

"What are you talking about?"

The human smiled.

"You'll find out yourself in due time. By the way, I think you have something on your face."


***


Explodey opened his eyes again. Once more, he was looking at a blue sky.

"...Guys?"

"Holy shit!" Gold Coin shouted, "What was that?!"

"Uhh..."

"Explodey, you've been dead for twelve minutes! How the fuck did you do that?!"

"I don't-"

Mystic Chant leapt over and tackled Explodey to the ground. It took the unicorn a moment to realise he was being hugged.

"Don't ever leave again!" he ordered.

"I'm so confused!" Explodey shouted, "What just happened?! Why are we all hugging?!"

Softy, Gold Coin, and Chain Mail had all joined Mystic, and everypony was now hugging the confused and disoriented unicorn. He was having trouble breathing.

"Guys? Does anypony have a sandwich, or a cupcake or something? I'm still hungry."


***


Silver Vein staggered up to the steps of Canterlot Castle. Her armour was covered in the blood of her fallen comrades, and the yellow Butterfly model armour was sparking and twitching with every step. A large black scorch mark on one side showed where she had been burned by a dragon, and a deep scratch along her front showed where a pegasus guard had attempted to carve through her armour.

The mare reached up and ripped off her helmet, clearing her vision and letting her take a deep breath. The suit's air conditioning had failed, and she was sweating heavily. A light breeze helped cool her down. She threw the helmet aside and continued up the steps.

"Must...take over...Canterlot..." she muttered.

She looked up at the entrance to the palace, and was surprised when she saw Second walk into view. He seemed equally surprised to see her.

"Oh," he said, "You survived. Wow. I didn't think anyone would have made it out of that."

"Just me, sir," Silver reported.

"How did you survive?"

"Luck, I guess."

"Hmm. Well consider me impressed."

He looked across the rest of the city.

"There was supposed to be a supply ship coming in from Secopolis. I have no idea what happened to it. Seems we don't have any medical staff on hand to help you, though."

"I'll survive, sir."

"If you're sure. I do believe that there is a medical centre somewhere in the castle though. I don't know anything about treating wounds, but if you think you're able, I'd advise you to go and find it."

"Thank you, sir."

Silver Vein limped up the steps past the human, who observed her curiously as she passed.

"Oh, and by the way?"

She turned to look at him.

"I've got another job for you after you're back up again. Come meet me up in the throne room once you're walking properly, and I'll introduce you to Princess Celestia."


***


"Tomey!" shouted Iron Hoof, "We've got a problem!"

The old stallion whipped his head around to face Iron as he rushed back onto the bridge.

"There's...something down there!"

"Down where?"

"On the lower levels, with the civilians! This blue thing appeared in the cargo hold, and it's got everypony riled up! There's a riot going on down there. I think they want to take over the Prometheus! Ze!zar has disappeared from the clinic and we have no idea what happened to him, and half the engineers in the maintenance sector are gone too!"

"What the hell?" Tome muttered, "Something's wrong here...Where is Night Shroud?"

"I don't know sir! Last I saw him was with you when I left to go check down below!"

BOOM!

The whole airship shook with the sound of the explosion, and both the ponies struggled to keep their balance.

"WHAT WAS THAT?!" Tome demanded.

"We're under attack, sir!" shouted one of the ponies maintaining the flight controls, "Whatever it is, it's small and armed with missiles!"

"Is it attacking the balloon, or the gondola?" asked Iron.

"Just the gondola, sir! Or more precisely, just the bridge! Whatever it is, it's after us specifically!"

"The universe clearly hates us," Tome deadpanned, "Alright! Return fire and reduce whatever's attacking us to ash! Iron! Get down below and find out what the fuck's going on! Find Night Shroud and Ze!zar if you can, and put down this riot, peacefully if possible. I don't want our attempts to save ponies to turn into a bloodbath."

"Sir! Radio transmission!" shouted another pony.

"Turn it up!"

The pony hit a few controls at his terminal. There was a loud burst of static which began to slowly die down as the radio signal became clearer. Then, a voice could be heard over the speakers.

"Attention Prometheus, this is the Vader One," the voice reported, "We understand that you have a unicorn doctor on board that we wish to speak to."

Everypony was silent.

"Also, do you have any food?"

END




















Author's notes:

Finally.

Before anyone asks, my choice for the name of the airship had nothing to do with the recent movie. I took the name from the actual mythological character and thought it sounded cool, and then later discovered it was also the name of the ship in the movie Prometheus. Kay?

This was a difficult chapter to write for, because while I had no shortage of story material, I was lacking for decent comedy this time. Not because I had no ideas. I had plenty of A-grade material I wanted to use, but the way the story is set up, I couldn't fit it in anywhere. It had to be saved for future chapters. So if this chapter was too ultra srs for you, I apologise.

As an aside, I didn't get to say this in my last journal or story update because they both lacked any real place to say it, but I'd like to thank Derpity for designing my current icon, which he so graciously offered to do for me. Thanks for that, bro.

If you haven't checked out Shades of Grey by Draven Eclipse yet, be sure you do. It won't be required reading for understanding anything in this story, as it is basically doing its own thing, but they are canon to one another, and I can vouch for its quality.

And while I'm recommending stories, I finished Fallout Equestria: Heroes recently, and it is a pretty decent story too. Basically, it's another ponified New Vegas, but it's pretty much the best one. It's long, well written, and it distinguished itself enough to get its own EqD post. What more can you ask for? If you're any kind of FOE fan, give it a look.

Next Chapter: More First, more Celestia, and fortunately no more zombie foal football.