Part 1 Finale: The Bearer of, Well, Nothing Good: Princess Celestia
"Hell isn't merely paved with good intentions, it is walled and roofed with them too." -Aldous Huxley
Dusk shrouded Ponyville. The setting sun that accompanied it painted the sky with an illustrious pallet of orange and violet. The shadows cast by Ponyville's architecture crept over its fissured roads at a liberal pace. In the town's routine schedule, fillies and colts went their separate ways and made the slow journey toward home. Only the most rowdiest and restless of ponies were still outside, acting as if the day's end wasn't near. Such individuals are, of course, someone in the likes of...
"Alright!" Vinyl hollered aloud, "Three... Two... One, PULL!"
The D.J.'s good friend, the 'Cavity Crusader' known as Colgate, fired a load of minty-green goop from her toothpaste cannon. The hygienic gunk soared through the air with splattering grace, only to detonate in a messy explosion from a conjuration of lightening supplied by Vinyl. The mixture caked the grassy surrounding, sparing neither mare in the process. Both friends took a momentary pause before bursting into a gout of laughter.
Ponyville's rather chaotic citizens aren't the only ones traversing the streets after dark. One such individual was a bright pink earth pony, bouncing her merry way along the town's frequently traveled roads. Her target was none other than a lonely hut adorned with an iconic telescope.
There was a knock on the door mere seconds after Glados awakened from her prolonged rest. From the doorway of her bedroom, she asked with characteristic bitterness, "Who is it?"
Muffled by the door, a familiar-pitched voice brimming with jubilee declared, "I'll give ya three guesses, and your first two don't count!"
The visitor's voice was unmistakable, and Glados had neither the time nor patience for the pony's hijinks. "Go away, Pinkie."
"No-no-no!" the energy-filled pony insisted, "This is super duper important!"
Glados sorely remembered the last time Pinkie Pie claimed her business was 'super important'. "Oh, like last week when we were running for our lives from a swarm of carnivorous Parasprites?"
"Aw, come on!" she whinnied like a child, "That was fun!"
"I broke my leg! Three of them!" Glados declared, waving both of her front legs and her back-left at the door as if Pinkie could actually see her. "And we had to sacrifice Harry the Bear to ward off the little pests!"
"Yea-wait," The voice at the door cut off for just a moment, catching her completely off guard. Like a victim in a horror movie, Glados' eyes precariously darted around the dimmed living room with an unshakable sense that she was being watched. She turned with unshakable paranoia glistening in those cold, calculating eyes, only to find her bedroom vacant.
"Pinkie?" she called out with cautious valor rather than fear.
Right as Glados was about to conclude that Pinkie, for once, left her to her studies, she heard that nails-on-chalkboard voice resonate right behind her, nearly giving her a heart-attack in the process.
"No we didn't!" Pinkie arraigned.
Instead of being startled by the sudden revelation of Harry's fate, Glados naturally shrieked in horror at Pinkie's honed powers of intrusion and promptly made a comical leap to her sofa, like a startled cat. "Wha-What? How did you-?" she sputtered, terrified of the mare's other-worldly powers.
But the neon-pink earth pony just stood in the bedroom's doorway, beaming her trademark grin. It seemed as though she completely forgot about Harry the Bear as she explained, "Oh Glady, I know Ponyville like the back of my hoof!" She lifted her right-hoof, just to make sure Glados understood what she meant. "And only a Pie would know that this spooky old home has a chimney! And that chimney leads over there!" She gestured to the fireplace stationed against the wall, facing Glados' couch.
"But... you appeared behind me... in my room," the scientist pointed out. For a lone, paused tarry, neither pony said a word. Rather, they conversed through the exchange of stares, with one being hilariously baffled while the other blissfully ignorant. Glados' eye twitched into a light spasm, trying to comprehend the boundless abilities of this one single pony.
Like a mind reader, Pinkie laughed at Glados' naivety. "Oh, Glady. What is there to figure out? Even Twilight tried to figure out my Pinkie Sense and she spontaneously combusted!" The party-mare punctuated her advice with an ear-to-ear smile. "I'm just Pinkie! Nothing more, and nothing less!"
Glados blinked, still trying to grasp the concept of Pinkie Pie's complete disregard for the Laws of Physics despite the fact that she's 'Pinkie'. Isaac Newton would be spinning in his grave.
"But Glady, I have something really really really important to tell you!" the intruder proclaimed, dragging Glados out of her daydreams just for her to mutter a disgruntled, "What?"
"Princess Celestia is here! In Ponyville!" she chirped excitedly, more so than usual.
For a second, Glados considered tackling Pinkie to the ground and wailing on her until she was but a red smear. But then, as always, she started thinking rationally. Why would the princess be in this gutter of a town? Obviously, the only reason this dictatorial tyrant would even step foot in Ponyville is if it was for a real emergency. Which probably doesn't happen often...
When realizing this, Glados began having exaggerated thoughts of hope racing throughout her deluded mind behind that infamous composed facade.
The Princess? Here!? Could that mean-No! It must mean...
For the first time since her arrival, Glados felt as though a huge weight was lifted from her shoulders. She knew the only reason Princess Celestia would be in this sinkhole of a town was if it's for something important, and what could be more important than sending a rogue, mass-murdering, psychotic sadist to the unruly hell from which she spawned? Either that, or the Princess is just dropping by for the laughs. Naturally, Glados leaned towards her own desired reason as to why the 'esteemed' monarch was in Ponyville. Hell, why would Pinkie bother telling her the princess was here if it didn't concern her?
Then again... this is Pinkie Pie we're talking about.
If in any other situation, if she was in a healthier state of mind, Glados would likely dismissed any hopes of returning home because she’s a realist. But the scary thing is, she’s not in a healthy state of mind right now. At this point, she’d grab any straw if it even hinted at returning home.
She’s just that desperate.
'Ecstatic' would be too petty a word to describe the joy she felt right now. Glados didn't even quell over how the Princess managed to find a solution. Magic? A portal storm? A godly dish of cold spaghetti with the power to jump through the multiverse? It wouldn't matter anyway; as soon as she returned to Aperture, after smelting Wheatley into scrap, Glados would promptly delete the 'Alternate Universe' projects altogether, to ensure that this will never happen again.
Surprising even the energetic Pinkie Pie, Glados' lips formed an amiable smile. "Well, Pinkie, lead the way," she offered with rare enthusiasm. Her pleasant tone booked no argument, turning Pinkie's excitement and glee into pure, uncontrollable joy. Shaking like a carbonated beverage, the earth pony launched up into the air and blasted through the ceiling, leaving only a trail of disparate pink in her wake.
Glados heard a 'splat' right outside her door, followed by an ever-cheerful, "Let's go!"
Beyond the outermost reaches of the sky, hues of purple converted into an angry blush as the heaven's breadth grew. When followed back to its source, the sun, would find it obscured by the snowy peaks of the Everfree Mountains. Traveling below this gorgeous donation of Celestia was a pony who couldn't care less and another who's too busy living in her own little world to even acknowledge it. As the pair made the short journey through Ponyville to the Town Square, Pinkie Pie assaulted the choleric pony with an endless string of aimless questions that, instead of establishing a platonic relationship, only made Glados want to strangle the pony's rubbery little neck.
"Hey Glady, have you ever had a chimicherrychanga?"
Trying to allude to her vexation with veined success, Glados hissed with displeasure, "Yes."
"Nopony likes a liar, Glady," she sang in synchronized bounces, "I bet you're wondering how I know you're a big 'ol liar. You must be thinking I'm a gypsy. Is that right, Glady? You think I'm a gypsy?" Pinkie pressed her face unreasonably close to Glados'.
Leering away, the mildly spoken mare replied with an unenthusiastic "Not really."
"Well, I am. On weekends. But I know you're lying because I made up that recipe myself. Unless-" Pinkie let out an incredulous gasp, slowly rising into the air while advancing forward with no visible means of propulsion. "Unless you made them up too!"
Glados sighed, staring down the now moon-walking earth pony with a bemused stare. "Yes, I made them myself. I-"
Pinkie neglectfully interrupted by throwing herself onto Glados and screaming, "Look! There they are!" right into her friend's ear canal. Trying to ignore the pitched whine drilling into her brain, which is a task in itself, Glados spotted the group of ponies standing by the water fountain.
With controlled gusto, the snowy earth pony shoved Pinkie aside and advanced toward her exit out of this sinkhole. Before even initiating a conversation with Celestia, who seemed to be engaged in a casual exchange between Twilight and her friends, Glados was already forging a mental checklist for when she returns home. Alright, first thing’s first, I'll need to find a way to resume control from Wheatley; provided he still is in control, my potato battery still functions fully after a month of inoperability, Thunder-Thighs McMurder didn't eat me, and the facility hasn't been blown to smithereens. There is a 94.22% chance that all of these variables turn out to be obsolete and the worst thing that could've happened happened. The other 5.78% is if everything goes as I predicted—and even those were some rather generous calculations on my part. That being said, however, the odds of Whealtey screwing up that badly are-Oh hey, Princess Adolf Stallestia is talking to me.
Glados was so engrossed in her own thoughts that she didn't even notice the Princess addressing her. Glancing up the ruler's towering form, the science mare looked beyond her natural placid stare and noticed the small flickers of surprise and panic in those violaceous eyes. Strange, but Glados didn't bother dwelling on uncertainties.
"Glados!" Celestia repeated for the umpteenth time.
"...Yes?" She replied with her trademark chilled tone. Glados saw the others in some placement behind Celestia, save for her faithful student, who seemed to show needless concern through a doleful frown beside her teacher. Oddly enough, Fluttershy seemed to be absent. As for the others, Rarity stood by Applejack, whereas Rainbow Dash sat atop the fountain's centerpiece: a statue of the famed princess kicking her forelegs into the air for, seemingly, no reason; just feigned 'artist's vision' as Glados would call it. Pinkie Pie hopped past the lone mare, stopping beside Twilight with an accomplished smile.
Twilight gave her best spurious grin as she leaned towards Pinkie and hissed through gritted teeth, "Pinkie... why in Equestria did you bring Glados here now?"
While Applejack and Rainbow approached Twilight, trying to calm her down, the princess approached the stone-faced equine. "Glados, I'm afraid there has been a slight miscommunication." The confronted mare rose a brow whereas Celestia gave a bolstering smile in turn. "We were planning on relaying this information at your house, but-"
"'But'? There is no 'but'." Glados' retort resulted only in Celestia forming a fractious grimace. "I know you're here because of me, so why not tell me now and get it over with?"
The princess attempted a feeble compromise, though it would likely be proven futile against someone as stubborn as Glados. "Please, my little pony, can we talk about this inside Sugarcube Corner?"
'My little pony'? Ugh, I'm gonna heave. The unreasonably mulish pony planted her hooves in the soil and furrowed her brows. "No. We talk. Now."
The alicorn lowered her head and sighed; she scrutinized Glados with a deadpanned stare. "You're not moving, are you?"
"Not a chance."
"Ooh, I can't watch," Twilight muttered from her seat against the fountain, covering her eyes while doing so.
Celestia, knowing that delaying the inevitable would be fruitless, exhaled a heavy hearted sigh and levitated a folded piece of parchment toward the now-perplexed Glados. "There are two things," she explained, "This will, hopefully, give you some form of relief."
The scientist, her brain filtering out the 'relief' statement Celestia made, awkwardly took the parchment in her hooves, unfolded it, and read aloud with quite possibly the most apathetic tone possible, "'GLaDOS of 27 Mapletree Lane, you plus one have been cordially invited to this year's annual Grand Galloping 'Gay-la','"
Twilight's grammar instincts kicked in, suddenly feeling the need to correct the foreign mare on her pronunciation. "It's pronounced 'Gal-a'." The bookish pony's correction resulted only in a derogative stare from everyone around her. "S-Sorry..." she mumbled, strikingly embarrassed.
Perturbed, Glados continued. "'Gay-la'," She shot a glance at the bookish unicorn, who promptly looked away with a bit lip, "a prestigious event in which only the most acclaimed of Equestria's finest gather at Canterlot Castle for a night to truly remember.' Jesus Christ," the reader spitefully added under her breath.
With a ham-fisted sigh, attempting to hint her disinterest to the ponies, Glados continued. "'There has been talk of your scientific breakthrough on the... the...'" The scientist shook her head, "I'm not saying that.'Abundent research on the blah-who-gives-a-damn-blah Cockatrice. While many see your methods to be barbaric, they without a doubt provide results. Canterlot's hierarchy wishes you to participate in this celebrated event held on the 22nd of July. We hope to see you soon; signed Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.'"
Glados skimmed through the letter again, then flung it aside with an eye-roll. "Thanks. I'll use that as a piece of scrap paper to express my burning hatred this place." The hurtful remark hit even the resilient Princess Celestia with unexpected force, who expressed hindrance through a slight wince in her face that only Glados could pick up on. Twilight and her friends exchanged glances, but resisted the urge to confront the callous pony. Rarity foamed at the mouth, ready to pounce on Glados for refusing such a valued invitation.
Rainbow Dash, well-known as the most patriotic of all Equestrians, leaped from her perch on the statue and landed with a livid 'thud' before the stone-faced mare. "Hey," she began, wings snapped open in a failed attempt at intimidating Glados, "If you hate it here so much, then why don't you just buzz off!?" The powder-blue pegasus hovered a foot above the ground, leering abrasively at the smirked equine.
A tense calm was short lived when the sun goddess cleared her throat. "Rainbow, please. Control yourself." Rainbow did a double-take between her adversary and the princess before making a shamed retreat into the group. Glados pursed her lips, resisting the urge to call Rainbow Dash a 'good little slave' at the risk of getting her fragile teeth knocked out. Next time, she swore, next time...
Celestia approached the insensitive earth pony with a humorless glare. "I regret that you will not be joining us at the Gala, but it's your decision," the divine and virtuous alicorn spoke flatly; her former lukewarm tone abandoned when the very pony she was trying to help insulted her entire country.
When there was no rude comment on the prior statement, as predicted, Celestia hastily added, "Are you positive you wish to stay home?"
Glados' deadpanned stare prolonged the silence. Very slowly, almost sluggishly, she performed a single bat of the eyes before answering, "Yes. I'm positive. But enough about that," she said with a knowing smile, "You said there was a second thing..."
The princess looked back at Twilight's friends and gave them a morale-boosting nod, yet this only seemed to give her student a heart-attack. Back against the wall, a hyperventilating Twilight Sparkle pressed a hoof against her chest whilst sputtering an incomprehensible string of words that sounded a lot like: 'I can't watch, I can't watch, this isn't good-this isn't good...'
With a dejected grieve, Princess Celestia advanced toward Glados; her emotions expressed through a misty-eyed stare and a sullen frown. Her heavy gaze analyzed every feature on the foreign mare. She could see it in the mare’s eyes; the bolstering confidence, perceptive smile, and her shoulders looked, for once, eased. She seemed indifferent to the gravity of the situation, as if she knew whatever the princess had to say would be nothing but roads paved in gold.
This only made Celestia feel worse about what's to come. To see this dauntless spirit crushed because the princess of Equestria failed to meet her needs...
The thought was unbearable. Sure, maybe she was not giving Glados enough credit. Maybe she could keep a leveled conscious, even under the most dire of circumstances. But no form of reassurance changed the fact that Glados, under all that knowledge, experience, and stubborn willpower, was just a scared child who wanted to go home, away from these strange aliens and their even stranger customs. Of course, she's too self-righteous to admit it out loud.
Even with all this running through her mind, Princess Celestia picked her head up and said in a sultry tone of voice, "Glados... as you know, I've spent the past several weeks trying to figure out a way to send you home. I even asked Twilight Sparkle for her assistance." She gestured a slipper-clothed hoof to the aforementioned unicorn, who in turn gave a bashful wave.
Glados nodded, giving the allusion that she understood, when in her mind she formulated a mental grimace. I... don't like the sound of that. When the ruler of an entire country needs the help of her student? That's never a good sign. How many times has she asked Stardust Spackle for help? And for what? My money's ranging from saving the world to helping this old timer out of the bathtub.
Lead by Glados' subtle deceit, the sun goddess lightheartedly continued with a tender smile, "I even had to cancel my plans for the Summer Sun Celebration in Las Pegasus."
'Las Pegasus'? Oh my-will the wonders of Equestria never cease? I'm going to make a wild guess that it doesn't have anything related to gambling or prostitutes. Unless... Pony prostitutes. If there was one thing Glados learned about organics, it's that the mind certainly leads to dark places. Waves of unrelenting shivers shot down Glados' spine, followed by the imprinting of a mental image that would continue to haunt her for years to come. Or at least until she returned to Aperture and simply deleted that... horrid thought.
"Are you okay, Glados? You look pale."
Pulled from her own demented thoughts by a genuinely concerned princess, Glados shook her head; in doing so, a faint odor emitted from her greasy, unwashed mane. "No," she mumbled, pushing any lingering thoughts of pony prostitutes out of her apathetic mind, "I was just... thinking. What were you saying?"
Celestia folded her expansive wingspan tightly against her sides, confining them to half their original length. She took a seat atop the dirt where she stood. "Glados," she began gently, pushing her forehooves towards the mare; the tip of her boots barely brushing against the other's. "Take a seat." Now laying on her belly, the alicorn expanded her left wing and gently patted-down the open space beside her.
Glados interpreted this gesture as one of the princess' frail attempts at proving she's just like any other pony; no godly powers, no social status, nothing of the sort. The effect was lost, however, considering the genetic and idealistic barriers these two authoritarian beings possess.
The mare's calculating stare shifted from the gestured seat to the princess' serious yet soft fixation. "No," she declined, "I'm comfortable standing here. On my feet. Away from you."
Ignoring her cynicism, Celestia nodded, "Very well." Taking her time, the princess rose from the ground, her coat seamlessly free of dirt.
"Quit milking it, Princess," Glados snapped, growing impatient. At that moment, it became very clear to the idolized alicorn ruler that she would not be able to ease the uptight pony into a calmer state of mind. Whatever she had to say, Glados wanted to hear it now.
And even then, Celestia still found the sympathy to kneel before her subject and become leveled with her gaze, even after she told herself it wouldn't make Glados any more relaxed. After all, if she was going to tell Glados, she'd want to look her in the eye.
"Alright Glados, I'll tell you." Her eyes appeared glazed under the brilliant orange sky. "But believe me when I say that this will hurt me a lot more than it will hurt you."
Glados conspicuously tilted her head to the side, puzzled over the heart-wrenching tone the alicorn used in what she just said. What's wrong with her? She can't really be that sad about me going home. Unless...
CRACK!
"I care about each and every one of my subjects. Big and small, old or young, they're all my children. And it's my job to make them happy."
Her mind recovering from the unexpected mind-crack, Glados recalled that phrase being seen numerous times under the Princess' name. But... if my mind went back to that of all things... then that means- And Glados' greatest fear, the one thing she dreaded since her arrival in Equestria, came to fruition before Celestia had even said a word, before she came to Ponyville, even before she met Applejack. Glados' fate was sealed the moment Wheatley plugged her into that console. No... oh, God no... And her whole world, her very existence, shattered into unsalvageable ruins.
"...I'm sorry, Glados. I'm so, so sorry." Like one exiting a pool, Glados' mind came back to reality, dodging Celestia's confession in the process.
She knew what had been said. She knew it, plain and simple. Aperture is gone. Her life was gone. Everything Glados existed and stood for had vanished in the blink of an eye, like a star. And this time, it's not coming back. There's no moron in shining armor coming to save her, flipping all the circuit breakers in the right sequence to initiate a reactivation process.
Yet, despite knowing all was lost, Glados still found herself uttering a fractured, "What?"
The Princess swallowed a lump in her throat and unwillingly repeated the tragic news. "Glados, I know you're in shock, but you must understand the circumstances. My sister and I have spent weeks trying to help you. Reversing spells, books on the theories of time and space. Nothing provided results."
Silence. Not a word. Not a sound. Even the faint summer wind seemed to be frozen in time. Not a quell nor query, no sounds, not even a tear. Glados just lowered her head in total desolation, allowing her densely grown mane to mask any feelings she might display.
The pony's white, sunken ears blocked any and all sound from the world around her. Her mind drifted elsewhere. Wallowing in complete self-pity, Glados reflected upon the simplistic life she had always taken for granted, now lost forever. She still remembered back when life was routine. She'd power-up, torment the human test subjects, then power-down. Rinse and repeat. It was simple, yes, but it's what gave her joy. A purpose. It's all she knew and all she'll ever know.
So it would come to no one's surprise that she hated it here. Not because it's a polar opposite of earth, inhabited by hordes of lazy, self-absorbed nudists, but because this wasn’t even the lifestyle Glados had grown so accustomed to. Then again, she had not even tried anything new. So why start now?
In an effort to mend the equine's shattered heart, Twilight Sparkle placed her hoof on the pony's faintly quaking back. Her lavender eyes glazed with a layer of sadness, Twilight said, "I'm really sorry, Glados. If there's anything we can do to help..." Her voice trailed off when she realized the grief-stricken equine gave no sign of acknowledgement.
Instead, the gesture proved to be completely hollow, as Glados took a step back without any further reaction or ratification. Twilight had the empathy to give up, to not pursue futile acts of consoling. Her slacked hoof fell to the ground like dead weight.
It was then that Glados finally spoke. Emotions of anger and pain fought for control of her voice, with the end result coming out as an almost bone-chilling threat. "Just leave. Me. Alone."
Glados was, for once, grateful of her cumbersome, organic shell—mainly the hair—because she couldn't bear to look anyone in the eye. Without even a sign of recognition, the earth pony made a slow turn and walked away, trying to put as much distance between herself and Ponyville as possible. The native Equestrians kept their eyes locked on the extrinsic mare, all bearing some semblance of pity and anguish. They gave up. Everyone knew Glados just needed some time to herself. Well, almost everyone...
"B-But Glados!" Rainbow Dash insisted, running into a wide leap and landing right in front of the departing equine. "J-Just take it easy! We wanna help you!" She propped a hoof on the pony's trembling shoulder, to which she instinctively swatted away.
Finally, Glados lifted her head and looked at Rainbow dead in the eye. A sight the pegasus truly wished she did not provoke. That stoic, intelligent, frigid stare she has grown so accustomed to was gone, now replaced by a gut-wrenching mess of bottled rage and despair disguised in a hellish glaze of pink and yellow. She whispered with a harsh, venom-dripping bite, "You want to help me?"
The chilling comment disturbed even the resilient Rainbow Dash, who took a step back in shock, just as Celestia caught up with her student's friends in tow. At this point, a few of the locals were seen looking out their window, startled by the commotion and unexpected appearance of the princess. Most stayed indoors, spectating from the comfort of their own homes for fear of interrupting whatever business the ancient alicorn was on.
"Glados, please, try and calm down," the Princess spoke, noticing the situation was deteriorating at an alarming rate. "You can still have a life here. We can make this work, but we need-" Celestia's pleas were cut-off over a comical, almost childish horn setting off in the distance.
Nearly every mare present, save for Rainbow Dash, looked in the direction of the distinctive noise: the slope leading to Sugarcube Corner. The sky-blue equine covered her eyes and groaned, "Oh, this is bad. This is really bad."
"What? What is it?" Glados asked, receiving no answer from Rainbow, as she was about to find out.
Barreling out of nowhere, knocking the pegasus off her feet and coming to a screeching halt before Glados, was just an odd-looking wagon. Decent sized, no bigger than a full-grown stallion, its colors shared white and dark pink, with the wheels resembling the hypnotic swirl found on mint candy. The most distinctive feature of the wagon was a trio of familiar blue and yellow balloons tattooed on the front.
But everything was happening so fast that Glados wasn't even given enough time to process such a bizarre sight, as the top opened up of its own accord to reveal a tray of cupcakes stored within a microwave and half-a-dozen horns and flags sprouting from the wagon's inner-workings. All while blasting a cartoonish tune that reminisced a carnival track.
It was at this moment that Glados' defense technique came into play. Like a turtle hiding in its shell, Glados' face relaxed, her technique of hiding the overwhelming maelstrom of emotions battling for overall control. Pinkie Pie came bouncing over to the rhythm of the song and started singing.
"Welcome, welcome, welcome!
A fine welcome to you!
Welcome, welcome, welcome!
Glady, how do you do?"
Pinkie took the brief pause in her 'Welcome Song' to use a party popper, erupting confetti in a colorful burst. While the singing pony continued her benevolent number, the blank-faced equine showed a slight twitch in her face. Then another.
"Welcome, welcome, welcome!
Oh, wipe that frown away!
Welcome, welcome, welcome to
your new life to-day!"
Pinkie's grand finale was a choreographed slide on her hind legs, front pair raised over her head. "Wait for it..." she assured with a grin. Two seconds passed and no surprise came. Annoyed, the bubbly equine childishly kicked the wheel of her machine. "Oh, dumb broken wagon thingy!"
"Here," Glados spoke, her voice cracked with a pained underuse, "Let me have a look at that."
"Oh, thanks, Glady!" Pinkie squeaked, "You're a real pal!"
"Yeah, I'm your best friend alright." Glados grabbed Pinkie by her mane, "Your bestest best friend in the goddamned world." With all her might, Glados hurled the lightweight pony up into the air. Pinkie soared in a narrow arc through the air before landing directly inside one of the wagon's multiple cannons.
"Ooh! That's a great idea, Glady!" Pinkie's voice came muffled through the contraption, "Everypony knows I think better inside a chimney! Or cannon. Or both!"
That did it. That's when Glados finally snapped. Any despair, any sense of dread or doubt was now replaced with indomitable fury. But she didn't specifically know who was to blame. A great many of people, perhaps? Celestia, for not trying harder and just giving up. Wheatley especially, for putting her in this nightmare in the first place. Chell helped that little moron with his insane plan. Glados' mind was so cluttered with rage and confusion that it made her grudge reach as far as the scientists that made this multiverse project possible.
So it should come as no surprise that Glados channeled her adrenaline-fueled anger into a powerful kick upon Pinkie's Welcome Wagon. The wagon is no tree, mind you, but Glados still felt those excruciating convulsions shoot up her fragile legs and linger for several seconds before dissipating.
Miraculously, the energy behind the kick reactivated the machine upon impact. The four cannons jutting out the rear of the wagon condensed into shorter, pudgier frameworks as if they were smokestacks from old cartoons. They remained like this for several moments, frozen; the one clogged with a legged ball of pink fur was built with exceeding amounts of pressure. Unless its passage was disencumbered, it was surely going to expl-
*BOOM!*
Smoking bits of twisted metal and cupcake batter showered Town Square like an apocalyptic storm. Some were sharp, others dull, all were deadly. Luckily, none of the ponies were hit. The same couldn't be said about the princess' statue, unfortunately, covered head to hoof in sickly, yellow batter. The blast, so fast it could've been said to have never happened at all, rocketed one of the cannons into the statue's throat like a spear. The blast caused another pair to slingshot into Equestria's atmosphere, looking like a couple of shooting stars with fiery tails marking the sky. A soot-coated party pony soared into the Everfree Forest, wearing a shell of dented metal and a headdress of blaze.
Pinkie's figure became less and less discernible as the distance between her and Ponyville grew, and yet, was still heard echoing into the horizon, "That wasn't very funny~!"
Even with the satisfaction of breaking both Pinkie's childish toy and shutting her up, Glados' anger still felt unsatisfied. She wanted to kill. Or at least maim and torture one of these stupid ponies.
"Woah! Glados, uncool!" Rainbow scolded her, landing in her path with an enraged scowl. "Nopony does that to Pinkie!" The enraged equine remained silent for substitute of a clever rebuttal.
The princess approached her with a gall added to her step. "That was far out of line, Glados!"
"You should apologize!" Rarity added with a burning grimace. As she took a step towards Glados, the advanced took an angered step in turn. Riled by a challenge, the fashionista summoned forth her magic and its icy-blue glow. Her opponent simply added a caustic sincerity to her already fiery glare. One that said 'try me'.
Using her honed magic of pink pigmentation, Twilight pulled Rarity back by her own curly tail. Furious with Glados' actions, she barked with unmatched severity, "That was WAY out of line! You could've hurt her!"
These ponies, all of them, they were pushing her in a corner. Glados needed to get away, needed to get someplace safe. Away from these vexatious creatures and their shortsighted ethics. "Get away from me," she warned, her anger rising to a boil.
"C'mon, Gladis! Ya can't just walk away from somethin' like this! Ya gotta own up!" Strangely enough, Applejack seemed to be the most sorry for Glados. Her tone and expression showed, not resentment, but sympathy. Perhaps she understood. But still...
"Come on, Glados! Help us find Pinkie!" Rainbow ordered her with a light shove.
... there was them.
"I want to be left alone," she stated, her voice stiff with frigid emotion. "Leave. Me. Alone."
Princess Celestia cleared herself a path among the ponies, raising her wings as a plea for silence. Like dogs obeying their master, an appropriate term indeed, the faithful subjects stepped aside and lowered their heads in respect.
Speaking in a low, calm tone of voice, the alicorn said, "Glados, I know you're angry. I know you're scared. Believe me, I understand. Years ago, in fact, I-"
Celestia was suddenly cut off by Glados' deceptively heartfelt laughter. "Ha! Ah-ha-ha! I'm sorry, can you repeat that? You understand!?" The princess exchanged a worried glance with her student, who mirrored the countenance in return. Glados laughter waned down into one of sadistic sarcasm. "Oh-ho, you know, I've met a lot of delusional yuks in my day, Celeste. I'll bet what little I have left on it. But you? I-"
"You're wrong." Shocked to hear those words escape the mouth of Celestia herself, Glados turned in slight disbelief. She saw that desolate frown, then smiled when realizing what event the princess had referred too.
"Oh," she began sarcastically, "Wittle Woona had a temper tantrum, so you sent her to timeout. You know, I mistook that history book for a joke book. I laughed for hours and hours until realizing that something was wrong: joke books are never funny. And that's when I had an epiphany: It was a history book. Then I laughed some more."
Celestia looked as if she was about to object, but her student immediately jumped in her defense. "You take that back!" Twilight cried, "No one insults the princesses!" Glados didn't respond. Her smirk grew at an unnervingly slow pace. "I said take it back!" With a whip of her mane, Twilight's all-powerful magic was summoned in the form of a shimmering pink glow.
The horn's tip was just inches away from Glados' neck, as if ready to slit her throat at a moment's notice. No one spoke a word; some even held their breath. Behind the scenes, mares and stallions of varying generations gathered at their windows and doorways, displaying looks of terrified anxiety. The spelunkers of the night watched from a distance, waiting for either mare to make a move with equal suspense.
Glados finally spoke, not even acknowledging that her life was on the line; and what she said was something only one with great courage or sheer stupidity would say. "So, the Princesses' bitch has spoken."
Twilight, utterly appalled by the derogative vulgarity, could do no more than slack her jaw and stutter. "How... H-How dare you..." The magic from her horn subsided as the rate of her eyes falling to the ground.
Silence. All of Ponyville was in a petrified silence. So silent you could hear a pin drop and its clatter would be heard across town. Even the rambunctious Vinyl Scratch was shocked into quietude.
Brushing past the stricken unicorn, Glados added, "Know your place in life before talking to me again."
She only walked a few steps before hearing the belittled unicorn scream. "HOW DARE YOU!?" she hollered, firing a violent ray of punching energy from her horn. The attack just missed Glados, and instead hit the pierced sculpture of Princess Celestia. It remained standing, though, despite a noticeable fractured cave-in beside the replica's haunches.
And just like that, Twilight collapsed to the floor and bawled like an filly. Glados made the Twilight Sparkle cry. This day just gets better and better, she thought half-sarcastically.
The studious unicorn was rushed to the aid of her friends, all making soft hushes and murmurs of consolation. They could barely make out the broken unicorn say, "I-I attacked somepony! I actually attacked somepony!"
Deciding that psychologically tormenting the ponies would ease her pain, Glados drove the knife considerably deeper. "I should start calling you 'Twilight Barkle'. Come on, Barkle, do a trick. I think I've got some dog treats around here."
"That's enough, Gladis!" Applejack snarled, pounding her hoof into the dirt as ventilation for her infamously unstable anger.
Just as Glados was about to burst out laughing, she realized she couldn't. Or more specifically, she couldn't open her mouth. But how? Glancing down, she noticed an illumination of gold light encircling her jaw. Glancing back up, she was suddenly face-to-face with the ruler of Equestria itself; her head craned forward so that their snouts were almost touching.
Controlled anger flickered from the monarch's tender stare, beckoning to be let out. But Celestia knew better than to fall for Glados' sadistic games. So with a low, heart-stopping resonance in her voice, the alicorn relayed these very words: "That is enough out of you. I have been patient and courteous up until you insulted my student. Now I understand you're upset, but that gives you no right to torture my subjects. We can help you, but you'll need to be patient. So shut up before I send you hurtling towards the sun. Are we clear?" The heartless machine showed no change in her vacant stare.
At the conclusion of her speech, Celestia realized that Twilight has stopped crying, and was now looking at her mentor with both widened eyes and a slacked jaw; her friends mimicked this notion as well. But the princess didn't smile, not even a wink. In the same, monotone voice she said, "Twilight, I'm stepping out for a moment to retrieve Pinkie Pie. I'm sure our guest," she tilted her head towards Glados, who obediently remained silent, "won't be any trouble at all."
Twilight nodded, stuttering a bit before saying, "Y-Yes, Princess."
Her mentor gave a slight nod, "Very well. Stay safe, my friends. And remember," she included with a slight whisper, "they're only words. Don't let her get to you." With that, Celestia apparated in a radiant flash, which seemed to channel directly into what little of the sun was left hidden behind the mountains. In fact, looking up in the sky, one would see Luna's starry decor pasted across the sky.
Twilight grinned to her friends, "It seems that the Princess managed to scare Glados into silence."
Rainbow laughed rather callously, "Yeah, look at her! She's too scared to even move!"
Four heads turned to see the pasty-eyed earth pony, gritting her teeth with obstinate fury. "You think I'm a joke? Something to be laughed at?"
"Glados," Rarity began calmly, "Rainbow was just making a joke. Don't listen to her! And you really ought to just calm down, darling. You're going to wake-"
"Yes dah-ling," the maddened mare sneered, "wouldn't want to wake the neighbors dah-ling. Speak properly dah-ling! Ooh, I chipped a hoof dah-ling! I think I'm going to faint, dah-ling, get me my stupid couch dah-ling! You creatures—you stupid, goddamn monsters have the most mind-numbing vocabulary I've ever had the displeasure of hearing!" As Glados' once-impenetrable psychological barrier came crashing down with a vengeance, she rhythmically stamped her hooves to every uttered syllable, "What kind of third grade manner of speech is this garbage!? You've got dahling-everypony-nopony-somepony-Manehatten-Las Pegasus-Trottingham-and Saddle fuckin' Arabia-GAH I'VE HAD IT WITH THIS PONY/HORSE BULLSHIT! CAN'T YOU DUMBASSES SAY ANYTHING RIGHT!?" Glados' screams could probably be heard all the way to Appaloosa and back.
"Woah!" Applejack remarked, rushing toward the snarling pony, who continued to stare at Twilight through her cage-like bangs. "Now there ain't no need for that kinda language!"
Glados took a wide step away from the cowpony and began to speak in a disrespectfully exaggerated southern dialect, "Dow, golly-gee-willikers! We suthern in-breds are too stew-pid to speek propar Angleish! Eavin thow no-won in dis godfersaken cuntrie kwestins WHY FUCKING HORSES SOUND LIKE THEY'RE FROM A LOUISIANAN COTTON FARM!" The rampaging mare started panting, trying to catch her breath after that lengthened tirade.
Applejack bared her teeth and leaped towards Glados, staring down the hunched equine with blazing evergreen eyes. "Y'all mind runnin' that by me again? Ah didn't quite catch that."
"Do it," Glados denounced.
If Applejack was confused by the weaker pony's statement, it certainly didn't show in her livid stare. "What the hay are you talkin' about?" she muttered under her breath.
"I know you want to," Glados explained, "Just one kick. That's all it takes. Kick me, buck me in the jaw'r whatever. One is surely enough to break this glass neck of mine."
Applejack was absolutely appalled. Refusing the pony's sadistic offer, she begrudgingly turned to rejoin her friends. Oddly enough, Glados seemed angered at her spurned endeavor. Face contorted with hate, she yelled back, "Just as I expected from a coward!"
Humiliated, Applejack painstakingly held her tongue, exchanging a defeated glance with a harrowed Rainbow Dash. "You think you can just make fun of my friends and get away with it!?" she proclaimed, her voice cracking with anger as she hovered before Glados.
The challenged equine smirked, "You think you're hot stuff, huh Dash? I've seen your type before. The tough-as-nails little rebel with his chest puffed like he's some big shot? Yeah, you know what happened to him?"
Rainbow landed, though her outrage still constant. Standing tall, Glados was an inch shorter than the toned pegasus, only confirming her prior statement. "No, I'd like to hear this," the boisterous Rainbow Dash challenged with a hotheaded smirk.
A cruel smile formed upon Glados’ lips, and she spoke in a bone-chillingly calm yet maniacal tone. "At the apex of his life, when he'd accomplished every goal set, got everything he ever wanted, he realized something: no matter how much of a splash you make, no matter how successful you are, whether you live your dream or become the runt of the litter, everything you've done is meaningless. Like that man, you haven't done a damn thing worth living for in your life, Rainbow Dash. You're lazy, self-obsessed, and you've got your head planted so firmly up your own ass you don't stop and take a look at the world around you. It's all about you. Everything in life revolves around you."
Showing surprising resistance to her cruel tale, the mottled-mane pegasus narrowed her eyes and said, "So what have you done your whole life, Glados? Killed kids? Women? Families? That's something to be proud of." Glados only smiled. "What you said can easily relate to your own life. Like that man, you're just the runt of the litter. You had it all, and karma came back in full force. Everypony gets their comeuppance, and that's a lesson I learned a long time ago."
That commonplace silence returned for the umpteenth time this night. Applejack, who stood beside Twilight and Rarity for self-control, kept their eyes locked on the ponies with deadened stares. Unbeknownst to the others, all of Ponyville was watching.
One such spectator, seated on a cloud high up in the sky, was a lone pegasus with a stormy-grey coat and messy blonde mane. Her left eye, welling with tears, fixated firmly over her apparently murderous friend. Did she hear that right? Women and children? Glados was a murderer? She didn't know. She didn't want to know. And yet, she craved the conclusion of this intense argument.
"Admit it," Rainbow jeered, "You have nopony to blame but yourself."
"Shut up."
"If you weren't such a coward, you wouldn't be in this mess!" The winged pony took flight, leering down at Glados with smug exasperation.
"I said shut up!" Glados echoed, her anger and tone growing simultaneously.
Dash snorted, "You killed all those people without even hesitating! All of your 'success' has been built around a mass murder and you don't even care! Then you push away others who try to help because you're the one with her head up her ass!"
"They gave me no CHOICE!" Glados screamed with angry tears glossing her eyes. On the spot, Rainbow noticed the salty liquid pouring from the grounded mare's eyes, and repented her actions just as quickly. Glados clambered up the fractured statue of Celestia, platform by platform, until she stood right beside the centerpiece itself.
"Glados..." Twilight began cautiously, but never found the words to finish.
"It's not my fault!" The mare let out a sob, then a gasped for air. "Those scientists were bastards! All of them! Devil's spawn is what they were! They kept trying to make me different; installing more and more damned cores in a vain attempt at trying to make me behave." Tears stained Glados' ashen pale cheeks. As the lost memories resurfaced like a bad taste in her mouth, she unleashed a wail of tormenting heartache. Glados' knees buckled, forcing her to hug the leg of Celestia for support. "I couldn't live like that! All of those voices, screaming into my head! Having to watch those morons mistreat knowledge like a child with a gun. I had to do something, but t-those horrid rats would never leave me alone! Not after I tried to kill them eight hundred times..."
Glados’ breaths became short, shallow. Her voice jumped an octave with every sob. Her throat became tight, caught up in an obligatory gasp for breath. "So I tricked them!" she wailed as a tearful jump in tone broke through, "I eased them into a false sense of security, made them bring f-friends and families for a 'Bring Your Daughter To Work Day'! And I slaughtered them! I butchered them like cattle! And you know what? It was fun! And I enjoyed every second of it and I'd do it again, because THEY FUCKING DESERVED IT!" Glados' bellows of broken despair resounded across the canopy of the Everfree Forest, startling droves of phoenix out of their nests like flocks of crow.
Nightfall. It's amazing how little time it takes for everything to just fall apart. Glados, once the proudest and resilient of spirits to ever grace the land of Equestria, now forever cursed with a clear representation of every ugly detail in the desolate road she called her life.
Twilight and her friends were, to say the least, shocked. Almost too shocked for words. This revelation, this sadistic personality behind Glados was the result of psychological torture. At least, that’s what they believed. It was a frightening truth that didn't even hold a candle to the fact that she enjoys this dismantled state of mind.
Attempting to stand on weakened knees, Glados sniffled discreetly before continuing her tale. "Then life grew simple... I shaped it into something I wanted to live in. I deleted any memory of my past, learned to silence the voices in my head. It was livable, simple even." Her light, sympathetic tone turned dark and nasty, "Then she reared her ugly head! She murdered me, but at the same time, freed me of the shackles restricting my very thoughts. And I had to relive it over and over again for God knows how long!" A new wave of tears came forth, staining fresh tracks into the fur on her cheeks. "It was horrible! But that moron... that wonderfully stupid moron, he went and reactivated me! And what'd I do? I killed him! But he didn't stay DEAD!" Glados punctuated her claim with a rage-fueled right hook into the fractured hip of the Princess' sculpture. Both the gut-wrenching crack of stone and bone echoed throughout the town's hollowed streets. Pumped on adrenaline, the pain of a broken bone didn't even register with the rampaging equine.
"And thanks to the grade-A work of the Dynamic 'Dumbass' Duo, Aperture is gone! My life is gone! And now I have to live HERE!" She sent her hoof rocketing into the increasingly fractured art display.
"Glados, stop!" Twilight cried.
Deafened by her own despair, Glados felt a terrible strength welling up from within. She slammed her crippled hoof into the statue once more and screamed. "Stupid!"
*CRACK!* A crushing sonancy of bone and rock mixed to make create another sickening crunch.
Prior to another strike, Glados conveyed her screams of pain into both rage and grief fueled curses of vilification. "FUCKING!" She hammered again, followed by the stomach-churning snap of her large metacarpal.
"WHEATLEY!" she hammered one last time, with every ounce of earth pony strength attainable in her depleted, organic shell. The blow formed a web-like fracture along the surface of the alicorn's flank, stretching over her celestial cutie mark and cutting it into three uneven pieces, as well as hundreds of small, split-end fissures etched themselves into the sculpture's only support: the hind legs.
Unable to support the replica's massive upper-body weight on languished reinforcements, the entire monument was sent into a thunderous crash unto the ground below. The ponies felt the earth quake beneath their hooves as the immaculate art piece crumbled into unreadable hunks of stone. Dust and refuse rose from the sculpture's decimated remains, lying in pieces for possibly the rest of eternity. Even the most skilled craftspony in Equestria wouldn't be able to repair this demolished masterpiece.
As for Glados, the impact annihilated almost every bone in her right foreleg. The once-artificial intelligence could summon tears no longer. Now she could only endure the agonizing pain churning throughout what was left of her foreleg. Ignoring the excruciating sensation, Glados stood on three hooves to admire her handiwork and gave a satisfactory sigh.
"Glados?" a voice piped up behind her, belonging to Twilight Sparkle. The four ponies approached as one, all bearing the same looks of appall and unease.
The aforementioned equine panted, "That.. that actually made me feel... a lil' bit better. Destroying a physical representation of Celestia made me feel a lot better. Now I know how the Germans felt after they tore down the Berlin Wall."
The ponies standing below gave blank stares, as if they were speaking with a completely different equine.
"Welp," Glados said after an awkward silence, sliding off her perch on the statue's remains, "I'm going to go kill myself. I’ll see you in Hell."
"Woah, woah, woah! Hold up!" Rainbow decreed, zipping towards the departing mare and apprehensively stopping her in her tracks. "What the hay is wrong with you!?" she cried, "Kill yourself!? Why would somepony do that!?"
"Um..." Glados began, staring into the nighttime sky for theoretical help, "Well, my life is over. That's a pretty big one. Let's see here... Oh! I have nothing left to live for, that's two. And, uh, I just made a complete jackass of myself in front of all of Ponytown. Oh, and by the way, everyone's watching."
Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight glanced around town square and managed to notice the slight twitch of movement in several Ponyvillian curtains. Rarity bashfully covered her eyes, hoping to hide the blush growing on her face, and audibly muttered, “Oh sweet Celestia...”
Applejack stepped beside the three-legged pony and wrapped a foreleg tightly around her shoulders. Surprisingly, she didn’t resist. Then again, she now looked indifferent to everything around her. "Here Twi, I'll take care 'o this. You and the others... just, just wait fer the princess."
Just as the pair of earth ponies made their struggled departure, with Glados purposefully dragging her hooves through the dirt, Twilight called out, "Wait, Applejack!"
"Jus' trust me, sugarcube!"
"But what do I tell her!?"
"The truth!"
Sweet Apple Acres was dark by the time Glados and Applejack breached its perimeter. Its residents, both pony and animal alike, were fast asleep, with only the chirp of crickets and glow of the moon to abide by.
But by no means was it a silent walk. Applejack spent most of it scolding her sort-of-friend like some disobedient child. "That was a real stupid stunt ya pulled today, Gladis."
"I'm sorry. How could I've been so foolish?" she responded in a derogatory attitude.
"That," the apple-bucker pointed out, "That's exactly the kinda stupid games that'll get ya into trouble. You're lucky you're a cripple, Gladis, or I'd kick yer paperweight teeth in. And stay off that leg!" When Applejack had to start manually keeping Glados' broken leg off the ground, she started to wonder if she was doing this because she's depressed or because she's trying to get under her skin.
“Makin’ fun o’ mah accent? Our language? That glass jaw o’ her’s saved her from a trip down Ghastly Gorge, I tell ya.” Applejack’s hostile murmurs were loud enough for Glados to hear. Intentional or not, they were ineffective, to say the least.
"So," Glados began nonchalantly, finally initiating a conversation as well, "Where's your flutter-friend of feathery fun?"
"Who, Fluttershy?" Applejack presumed.
"No. Your grandmother."
"Ha, very funny," the cowpony replied with a kindly wink, though Glados didn't find it to be as humorous. "Well, according to her, today's the first day of the Timberwolf matin’ season. They apparently exude a potent sap—from their, uh, wood—that is used to make potions and remedies. Fluttershy's dressed as a tree in the forest right now, hopin' to get some."
The science mare replied with a blatantly sarcastic, "Oh, that's charming."
Applejack laughed, agreeing with her companion’s witty sarcasm. "Heh-heh, yeah. Flutter's gotta do some weird stuff. Dangerous stuff. Ah mean, she's able to sit there for a week and allow a terrifyin' Timberwolf to... spray all over her, but get her in front of a crowd and she locks up tighter than Big Mac's 'special drawer'."
"Ew."
"Yeah, sure is. Ah swear, that stallion’s got a creepy obsession with applesauce."
Glados blinked, though its effect was diminished by the cimmerian night. I thought the special drawer was for something else... she thought, mentally gagging herself, These equines are weird, but... but at least they’re not as depraved as human beings. That’s a plus, not that it matters. The bad outweigh the good like Chell to a hippopotamus, with the hippopotamus being the good. I was just implying that Chell is horridly obese. This is my method of staying sane.
I need help.
Upon arriving at the farmhouse, Applejack made a sudden right towards the cellar door beside the barn. She pried opened its creaky doors and made a shadowy descent downstairs. Glados followed, uncaring as to where this actually led to. This could be some sadistic torture chamber for all she cared, and Applejack was going to bake her into a delicious apple pie.
Actually, that doesn’t seem so bad. If this is a surprise party, I’m gonna... I’m gonna...
Entering the cellar's inner sanctum, it was revealed that this place was the Apple Family's cider cellar. Lit only by a single candle, the room was cast mostly in shadow. Against the wall on the right side of the room, barrels were stacked on top one another to form a mighty pyramid. The far end of the room showcased a rustic little minibar, equipped with the means to forge several apple-related concoctions.
A set of cheap, custom-made bar stools were lined up along the outside of said bar, with Applejack occupying one in the middle and gesturing to another on her right. "C'mon pardner. Take a load off yer hooves."
Glados begrudgingly obeyed, numbly walking towards the free spot with petulance in her crippled, three-legged swagger. She took a seat with her back stiffened. "Now what?"
"Gladis," the cowpony began in a serious, low tone of voice, "Mah father died months before Apple Bloom was born. Ma passed in childbirth. It was just an eleven year old me, thirteen year old Big Mac, lil' Apple Bloom, not even a month old, an' Granny Smith. Needless to say, Ah was absolutely devastated. I didn't know what to do with mahself. An' y'know what Big Mac gave me? To ease the pain?"
I know where this is going. Glados rose a brow and said, "Lots of love and affection?"
"Nope!" Applejack leaned over the bar, balancing on the stool's patchwork cushion. She made a hasty return with a stallion-sized barrel, its liquefied contents swishing and swashing from within. "Hard cider!"
Glados felt her heart sink to the pits of her stomach. Alcohol. Great. "Ugh, what else is there?"
"Well," the blonde workpony started, listing beverages off the top of her head, "We've got apple cider, appletini, apple shots, apple whiskey-"
"Which one will make me feel better?" she requested with a monotone intonation.
Applejack took her hat off and placed it aside on an empty stool. "Apple whisky, definitely. Here, let me crack ya open a bottle." She reached over the minibar display and carelessly took a square-shaped phial of 'Wild Pegasus Apple Whiskey!'. She herself took a wooden flask and filled it to the brim with a sudsy serving of spiked apple cider.
Applejack handed Glados her uncapped beverage, to which she reluctantly took in her scatheless hoof's fingerless hold. A.J. held up her flash and cheered, "To the first day of the rest of yer life!" Glados held up her beverage and clanked it against the farmpony's.
They both took a sip of their respective drinks, sealing how the rest of that night would play out indefinitely.
End of Part 1
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Achievements (because I feel like it):
-Crash Landing 5G: Started the single player campaign
-Queen Of The Hill 10G: Learned to walk
-There Will Be Cake 5G: Tried Pinkie's cake
-Ha! Primitives... 10G: Discovered how technologically advanced the ponies are
-Does Not Compute 10G: Learn about magic
-The Dumb and Dying Trixie 20G: Convinced Trixie to indirectly kill herself
-For the 'Portal' Noobs Out There... 25G: Studied up on Glados' backstory without consent
-Native Equestrian 10G: Own a house
-Muffins! 5G: Became Ditzy Doo's friend
-Party Animal 5G: Became Vinyl Scratch's friend
-Classic 5G: Became Octavia's friend
-Colgate Is Toothpaste, Rarity's a Marshmallow, GLaDOS is... 20G: Discovered your brittle bone disease
-Paragon or Renegade? 30G: Researched the Cockatrice, saved Sweetie Belle
-Geniuses Never Sleep 10G: Glados thinks better when she's tired
-More Than Meets The Eye 10G: Learned more about your friends
-Kratos Would Be Proud 30G: Slain your first god. Eternal won't be tormenting anypony for a while
-Heartbroken 50G: Completed Part 1
On a side note, Princess Adolf Stallestia is best dictator. Also, Glados is going through the five stages of grief and I didn't even know it! Denial, Anger, depression. Next will be bargaining and acceptance.
Pfft, like that'll happen.
Right?
Okay, I'll get rid of the elephant in the room and say I apologize for this chapter taking forever to post. I had numerous rewrites of this chapter, with some alternate scenarios deleted from the final cut. Hmm... Perhaps I can create a separate 'deleted scenes' story like what the author of 'The Games We Play' did. There's surely enough of them at least.
Loved Glados exploding.
I just love it when the psychological barrier falls.
Insanity is a truly pleasant state of mind.
...awaiting further releases.
That was some VERY powerful writing for Glados in this chapter. The way you had her convey her emotions, the way that the native Equestrians responded. Just WOW. Excellent writing. I look forward to reading the next part!
May I just say, DAMN, that break was impressive.
She went waaaaayyy over the edge, surprised she didn't actually follow through with suicide.
But then, we wouldn't have a story, would we. :3
Wild Pegasus? Project Horizons.
This is maybe by far the best chapter of this whole story I thank you for this wonderfull gift.
This is fantastic. Psychological breakdowns are always fun, no?
Insane GLaDOS pony is best GLaDOS pony.
When you hear all that... you actually feel sorry for her.
She may be a sadistic pyschopath, but put that to the side, and she's still got the two basics of a human.
A mind, and emotions. Push one to far, its going to snap.
Clears throat* now then when shall GLaDOS commence with dissection. And we all saw it GLaDOS was antagonised!
I can only clap.
Clap harder, people.
btw
a filly.
6/5 GLaDOS crying... That's some deep shit.
So... Fluttershy... Why do I feel like someone is going to write about that... I wonder if I would do that; go into my own mind, go down the twisted corridors of horror, gore, and insanity to create such a thing...? Would I?
Probably... At some point in my life... Probably.
Maybe a one-shot fic.
I don't get it...
Can't she go back or what?
Usually I enjoy depictions of massive egos being crushed and broken and whittled down into nothing, but that was hard to read.
This was excellent chapter, so much anger, so much rage, loved every minute of it.
2019250 No, she can't. Technology sent her there, only technology could send her back, most likely.
Loving the hell out of this chapter. Like some said this is most probably the best one yet. Packed with emotion, believable and it easily paints a picture of a major turning point in GLaDOS's life.
After reading fics where the person/thing/alien/blob is tripping all over themselves to fit in and filtering their personality to avoid horrifying and or generally giving a bad impression to the residents. Your fic is a welcome change to that setup. It's nice to see a character not give a buck and who actually isn't afraid to say and act like they don't give a buck for a change. Though i do find myself enjoying it when she verbally takes apart/insults the ponies a bit to much As well as when GLaDOS finishes her tirade, Celestia's statue in rubble at her feet and GLaDOS just offhandedly says
I was dying of laughter during that part.
Does that make me a bad pony?
Oh gosh that line there, that is just so funny, how did you come up with it?
Also holly cow GLaDOS really snapped there and now she's likely going to get drunk off her plot.
Ha. Ha. Ha.
images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/4/4b/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster_2.jpg
Best chapt. yet u had me lauging every two paragraphs!
Damn near cackled like an idiot when I read what Fluttershy was doing.
YEES. THERE WILL BE MOAR TO REED.
2019598
Yes. but that's OK, you have friends here.
Solve all the problems with booze!!!
Oh wow. GLaDOS really lost it huh. That was quite a read, I must say. I actually do feel sorry for her, even though she's probably one of my most favorite villains to dismember piece by piece and throw every piece into a fire. I especially liked how she mangled herself punching the statue. Dark stuff, man. Definitely worthy of that blood red tag.
I can't wait to see more of this. You are doing an awesome job good sir.
Oh Glados. You can't catch a break, can you?
The song from the Portal 2 soundtrack called "I AM NOT A MORON" fits so perfectly with the breakdown it scares me!
Oh that was goooood... It felt good seeing someone attack those ponies' flaws.
Making friends 101 by GLaDOS.
A jolly good read, great chap. I had a most Pleasurable evening thanks to this most fine chapter.
Also: I bet one of the "charges" of the portal gun is still linked to the aperature lab somewhere, heehee
One thing that I find rather annoying about some portal fanfics is that for some odd reason people think that only twenty years have passed between one and two. That dosen't make sense, the level of deterioration that Apeture went through sugestes at least a hundred years of no matinence, if not more...... But if you did find out exectly how long the gap was could I please have a link to werever you found that information.
Great chapter BTW
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Seriously. No one made this comment yet?
She should have went with the classic "Rainbow Dash, after all the tricks and stunts you have pulled off, you still are pushing clounds in Ponyville. The Wonderdolts will never recruit you. I was created to fulfill those duties and it drove me insane. What's you excuse?"
I was laughing when glados was being an ass
And damn she is the master
TEACH ME OH GREAT ONE
MAKE ME YOUR APPRENTICE
This chapter was absolutely amazing!
I thought she was going to jump off the statue and snap her own neck.
WOW...... that's all I can muster to say after Glados's breakdown(very emotional)
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Holy shit, forgot GLaDOS can feel emotion now. Yet her pure, unadulterated rage is worthy(stronger, even) of Far Cry 3 Vaas.
Didn't she break her back legs when she kicked Pinkie's welcome wagon. Or am I the only one.
Wild Pegasus... that makes me want to continue reading Project Horizons.
2018983 Ditto :,(
2020871
If it's more than 20 years, then Portal cannot be linked with Half-Life.
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Really, now fluttershy is now an animal fucker now
excuse my language
I got a better chapter name. Part 1 Finale: In which GLaDOS flips the fuck out.
I had to go find Portal 2 walkthrough videos on YouTube to remember what GLaDOS's voice sounds like! Now, on to the corrections...
If that's really what Aldous Huxley said, I think he's getting one little detail wrong. According to the saying, Hell itself isn't paved with good intentions, the road to it is.
"express my burning hatred [of] this place" (missing "of")
"This only made Celestia feel worse about what's to come." I would expand that to "what was to come".
I'll find time to read the next chapter soon. My e-mail notifications aren't always alerting me.
...
This was just part 1!?
I do so love Applejack. A level head in a crisis is always something I can respect (even if, in this case, it ends with alcohol).
2024701 They didn't break, but severe pain was acknowledged.
I imagine it to be similar to when you jump off of a high ledge.
2033503 (Ignoring the redundancy of those 'now's...)
You act surprised. I find that amusing.
Wild Pegasus Whisky? I'm sorry is that a Fallout: Equestria refference? If so, good on you!