Fic recs, May 13th: ocalhoun's Big 250k Contest edition! · 2:57am May 14th, 2016
Sometime last year, I swore off contest posts. Granted, I meant it to be a temporary hiatus, since I'd been doing quite a few of them at the time, but I did end up passing a couple by in the meantime.
That is, until ocalhoun's Big 250k Contest rolled around. The idea was simple: write a sequel, continuation or spinoff of one of ocalhoun's stories.
Why did this one strike my fancy? I dunno. It sure wasn't the prospect of getting a bunch of stories out of my RIL! (Given that I added all the contest entries first, I ended up clearing negative stories. D:) Whatever it was, it meant reading half a Fallout: Equestria, because along with the contest entries, I had to read a bunch of originals!
So yes. This is a good bit later than I tend to post, but I didn't want to let this sit around anymore. This was quite an effort, and by the end, I was getting rather tired of everything, but there are a few real gems in here. I'll let the reviews speak for themselves. :)
H: 3 R: 9 C: 24 V: 10 N: 30 I: 3
Undeliverable by ocalhoun
Reading by Snogwritts
Genre: Sad Derpy
I'll give this one credit: it tells its story well. I just can't say I'm too interested in yet another story about Derpy being sad for whatever reason, especially not set as late in the show as this one. (Post-Rainbow Falls, at least.) Derpy, it seems, has run off (read: probably died), leaving behind a daughter, a lot of friends who miss her, and a whole bunch of undeliverable letters. The letters are what make this work, revealing the story bit by bit without ever revealing too much. I'm not sure if revealing more would have helped; I mean, I can really only assume that Derpy killed herself. It's just the easiest explanation for why she would disappear and leave Dinky behind. So the content is a bit of a letdown, but overall it's not too bad.
Recommended If You Don't Mind Sad Derpy
Redeliverable by Emotional Flight
Sequel to Undeliverable
Genre: Adventure
Derpy writes back.
I guess more wouldn't have improved the previous story. All this one does is highlight how cliche its predecessor is. Because, let's face it, Derpy/Carrot Top shipping is every bit as much tired fanon as her hanging around with "The Doctor". And at least Derpy isn't dead, but she's far too coy about why she left. Even given the explanation at the end, I'm just not sure what was going on in this. Not to mention, if those letters were undeliverable, how the heck did she reply to them?
Not Recommended
The Adventures of Batsy Fluffentuft the Magnificent by ocalhoun
Genre: Comedy
I want to like this story. For all that I'm super-done with batponies, everything about the setup here has "You'll change your mind" written all over it. Batsy is the perfect kind of hilarious egotist, e.g., completely wrong about her own magnificence. I realized pretty quickly on that it shares the same batpony headcanon as The Most Annoying Infestation, which was another of ocalhoun's batpony fics I enjoyed. But there's just something not quite working here. It's one part off-tone swearing, one part "Batsy is so wacky, you guys". This could definitely have done with some dialing back of the cutesieness, to let the character speak for herself. That said, it is incomplete (curse the fools who wrote sequels to incomplete stories for this contest!) and I'm willing to give it a second chance later on. I just hope things pick up, because I found myself with a distinct lack of laughter, here.
Incomplete; Rated Not Recommended 10/19/16
Batsy Fluffentuft's Short Screwy Adventure by Snowdrifter
Sequel to The Adventures of Batsy Fluffentuft the Magnificent
Genre: Comedy
Batsy pursues something shiny.
I wrote this journal in between reading the previous story and this one, and whuff. This both exemplifies how not to write a character like this while simultaneously proving that the original story isn't as bad as I think it is. The lolrandom narration works very poorly in third-person. It's full of needless referential jokes. She's called "Betsy" at one point. This is a very lowest-fruit kind of comedy, and for all that it is, indeed, short, it's just a chore to read. I am now very afraid of what the rest of this contest has in store for me.
Not Recommended
The Great, the Powerful and the Magnificent by TodayIWriteFanfics
Sequel to The Adventures of Batsy Fluffentuft the Magnificent
Genre: Comedy
A daring escape leads Batsy to meet a pony who dares think she's superior! Time to put a stop to this!
This is a little better, an attempt to capture the spirit of the original that shows an understanding of the character and, if it fails, only does so by being written by a less experienced writer. Having Batsy meet Trixie is a funny idea, and this definitely shies away from the more random or referential comedy tropes. Unfortunately, it's not much of a story, just an idea that sort of peters out toward the end. I can at least appreciate the lack of going over the top.
Vaguely Recommended
Charlie the Unicorn's Horn Is Made of Candy by QuickFics
Sequel to Unicorn Horns Are Made of Candy
Genre: Charlie the Unicorn Crossover
Charlie goes to Equestria, hoping to find his family.
I want you to take note of the name "QuickFics". Not only did this author more or less make their account for the sole purpose of participating in this contest, not only are all their stories to date entries for this contest, but they're all sequels to the same story. They're gonna be showing up a lot, is what I'm saying. That said, this, being the last of QuickFics's stories, chronologically, isn't quite as slapdash as I'd expected. It's still fast-paced and contains typos and POV switches. Also, I'm not really very well versed in Charlie the Unicorn beyond one or two videos, so I didn't get things like why his horn is held on with bandages. If you're a fan of the series and wanted to see some crossovering, you could probably do worse than this; a lot of the humor comes from how he looks like a pony, but doesn't really fit in with Equestria. It's not very deep, but I did laugh at the end.
Vaguely Recommended
That Thing We Do by QuickFics
Sequel to Unicorn Horns Are Made of Candy
Genre: Comedic Shipping
Rarity's horn didn't taste like marshmallow until yesterday. Applejack would know.
Okay, this one's legitimately funny. There's not much to it, but I always enjoy comedies that play with shipping tropes, and this was no exception. Definitely the kind of thing worth reading when you have a few minutes to kill.
Recommended for Laughs
Arachnophillia by ocalhoun
Reading by Lightning Runner
Genre: Dark Comedy
Fluttershy's newest house guest just needs a little more support than usual.
I would just like to point out that this is the second story about a pony and a giant spider I have ever read. The second. Thankfully, this one doesn't have a clop scene. It's actually quite chaste in that regard, with little bits around the edges adding comedic fridge horror. I wish there was a little bit more to it, but as it stands, it's fun, if a little creepy.
Recommended as Light Reading
Arachnophobic by SilverEyedWolf
Sequel to Arachnophillia
Genre: Dark
Twilight has good reason to worry about Fluttershy.
Arachnophillia was not tagged Comedy, but I found it highly amusing. This is a story that disagrees with me on that point. Oh, how it disagrees. Keeping a giant tarantula as a house guest can only end in tragedy, it says. And to that end, it builds a pretty good, dark atmosphere, using Angel Bunny in the opening to build tension before it takes a jaunt to NOPEsville. No lie, "Dark" definitely covers this. Unfortunately, readers should be warned the writing isn't perfect, but if you like dark fics and don't mind the occasional typo (mostly homophone issues in this case), this might be a creepy little read!
Recommended If You Like Dark Fics
Six to Eight Weeks Dungeon by ocalhoun
Reading by Dr. Wolf
Reading by Crafty Arts
Genre: Comedy
When Fluttershy is indicted for violation of Ponyville animal density codes, it's up to Twilight and Rainbow to save her.
I should have read this already. <.< How did I miss that reading? Anyway, this is a fun piece about Twilight butting heads with bureaucracy and laws. Unfortunately, it's also one of those comedies that stops just as it gets going. The title is, sadly, the punchline, and it's a complete letdown as one. I was more interested in seeing what kind of legal mumbo-jumbo Twilight could pull; instead, it seems the author ran out of ideas and had to stop writing. Might be worth it for a laugh or two, just don't expect a complete story.
Vaguely Recommended
Five to Seven Weeks Detention by NexusDragon
Sequel to Six to Eight Weeks Dungeon
Genre: Comedy
Twilight's 'guest' has been in the castle dungeon for perhaps longer than she should have been.
I've got to say, out of what I've read so far, this is the first story that really works as a good sequel, a continuation of the original that takes it in a new direction. It helps that Six to Eight Weeks Dungeon felt incomplete, but this is a very natural extension of what that story set up. It's also decently funny, and makes good use of a spaghetti incident. It does, sadly, have some writing issues, mostly pervasive punctuation problems and the occasional odd phrasing. I will say that it sort of points out the other thing that bugged me about its predecessor, though: that all of this happens because Twilight's acting a little out of character. I know that will bother some people, so I bring it up now, but the issue is at least addressed. But yeah, as a sequel, it's top-notch, and as a story, it's at least highly amusing, it just needs a good editing.
Recommended for Laughs
My Little Pony: Friendship Is Overpowered (Season 1) by ocalhoun
Genre: Fixfic
This is a very unusual kind of fic. It seemed at first that it was an attempt to short-circuit the plot of each episode via the characters acting logical and remembering things like Twilight being a really good mage. It wasn't until I hit the entry for Applebuck Season that the modus operandi raised its head, and it's precisely what's on the label: Twilight and her friends are the best at what they do, and they should have considerably less trouble with the challenges facing them than they do on the show. Also, there are some scenarios like Look Before You Sleep where they just simply act like adults to undercut the drama. It was just confusing because I'm used to the idea of Twilight having access to powerful magic, so starting off with three stories about her magicking her way to victory wasn't too strange. Unfortunately, the effect leaves a lot of the episodes boring; drama is interesting, for all that it tends to be unnecessary, and when you get rid of it, you're left with stuff that just isn't all that entertaining. So now that I've got the idea, I can read the contest entry made for season 5. This was interesting, but not something I want to see applied over a hundred times.
Not Recommended
My Little Pony: Friendship Is Overpowered (Season 5) by Shadowmane PX-41
Sequel to My Little Pony: Friendship Is Overpowered (Season 4)
Genre: Fixfic
It's exactly the same as the season 1 version. No appreciable differences in writing. Good job emulating the original style, I guess? Still doesn't make me want to read it.
Not Recommended: DNF 2/26
Celly's Day Off by ocalhoun
Genre: Slice of Life
It's been far too long since Celestia had some time to herself.
Funny though it may be, the notion at the start of this — that Celestia takes on personal students so she can foist her problems off on them — sat poorly with me. But I do rather like stories about Celestia being irresponsible, and a lengthy scene of her fighting dragons did a lot to get this back into my good graces. The actual joke here is the word 'day', though I won't go into why. I will say that this had considerably less royal sister bonding than I was hoping for — Luna is the "serious adult" in this case — and it also feels slightly disjointed. If not that, then it builds up to something but ends before the "day off" really plays out. And now I'm noticing that this isn't the first time I've complained about that in one of ocalhoun's stories. Well, I don't feel it wasted my time, at least.
Recommended for Celestia Fans
Luna's Working Night by Celestial Pony
Sequel to Celly's Day Off
Genre: Slice of Life
Luna was having quite a nice night before her sister decided to take a 'day' off.
Despite its tagging in the contest, this one's actually complete, if not finalized. And as it stands, it's thoroughly okay. It's basically just Luna's POV of the events of Celly's Day Off, with some of that story's running gags haphazardly squeezed in. And while initially it seemed all right, there's a certain rushed feeling that doesn't rear its head until the dialogue starts up. I can't really explain it, but this story is really zipping through those dialogue scenes. Plus, since it doesn't diverge from the original, there's little in the way of tension or surprises. Again, not bad, but just okay.
Not Recommended
Sex Ed: Changeling Style by ocalhoun
Mature: Sex
Genre: Clop
Queen Chrysalis prefers to teach sexual education personally.
I have to admit, I don't actually remember many of the details of A Mother's Love Never Dies (as it turns out, it was the first of ocalhoun's stories I ever read), but it kind of freaked me out when I saw the same changeling's name that I've seen in that story's sequels attached to this. Anyway, I'm not sure what I expected from this. It's teacher and changeling fetish fuel disguised as — admittedly rather believable — sexual education to help changeling drones better fit into pony society. Granted, the stuff around it — the very existence of "Miss Chryssy's" school, the way the ponies just kind of act like your standard high school anime protagonists — undercuts that somewhat, but I won't say this is bad. It's certainly got more of a plot than your average clopfic. But I have to face the fact that it is just not something I want to read more than I need to to get an idea of what's going on so I can read the sequels. Not, mind, that I'm probably going to want to read those, either. :/
Not Recommended
Sex Ed: Pony Style by dirty little secret
Mature: Sex
Sequel to Sex Ed: Changeling Style
Genre: Foalcon
While Miss Cheerilee takes a much-needed vacation, Princess Cadence fills in to teach her students about sex.
The big problem with this story is that it takes the track of "age of consent in Equestria is correlated with cutie marks". But given how young some of the characters in the show get their cutie marks and the fact that none of the child characters feel mature, this is basically just child porn. And you know what that means!
Not Recommended
Sex Ed: Twilight Style by SmuttyMcMemverse
Mature: Sex
Sequel to Sex Ed: Pony Style
Genre: Comedy/AiE
Twilight and Anon are about to get it on, but she wants to lecture first.
Why am I reading more of these? At least this one has the decency to be kinda funny, if you can stand the idea of people making out with horses. Or Anon in Equestria. That said, it's not great, but — and I hate myself for thinking this — I might actually need to see more to come up with an actual recommendation. Not hysterical, but certainly less aggravating than its predecessors.
Incomplete
Twiley Takes Shining Armor to LineCon by ocalhoun
Genre: Comedy
Little Twilight drags her big brother along to her favorite convention.
So if you've ever been to a convention — and not just a pony convention — the title will probably get a knowing chuckle out of you. That said, the title more or less is the joke, granted Twilight's reactions to the con and her brother's dismay are amusing by themselves. The particular nature of this convention fits Twilight to a T, and the "journal entries" from Shining are equally amusing. For all that this is a fic about someone being bored, the fact that the other party finds the boring stuff fantastic really makes this a funny read, and there's a lot more to this single joke than I had given it credit for.
Recommended
Linear Transformation by SilverAlchemist
Sequel to Twiley Takes Shining Armor to LineCon
Genre: Comedy
Now that she's the Princess of Friendship, Twilight can bring her friends to LineCon!
If the previous story was merely funny, this one's hysterical. Well, to a point. But somehow, it was able to take joke from the original and reuse it in a very natural fashion to tell a new story. Sure, Rainbow Dash is cast in Shining Armor's role and even writes a journal entry, but she isn't left to sit around and take up space. Instead, Twilight's friends vanish one by one for various, mostly similar reasons, and she soon finds herself not having as much fun as she imagined. And while there are a couple random jokes and a reference or two, this story really impressed me, if only in the context of the contest.
Recommended
An Impossible Letter by 6samuelb
Sequel to Undeliverable and A Mother's Love Never Dies
Genre: Thriller
Dinky's father was supposed to be dead.
A dual sequel? And the latter is under a spoiler, how interesting. This gets off to a bad start with a batpony OC with a ridiculous name, and not ridiculous in the way of ocalhoun's batpony OCs. He at least turns out to be a decent character, with good rapport with Derpy. Or Ditzy. Or Bright Eyes. Or Bubbles. I'm not kidding, she's called by four different names. The writing's also a little on the rapid side, and the dialogue is given solely in talking heads, which occasionally led to issues following conversations. But the story itself is pretty fun, with some decent twists and lots of thrilling action. I will say that it takes a while to have enough pieces to figure out what's going on, so that's something to keep in mind. This is also pretty dark, though not extra-dark. I will say, it mainly uses Undeliverable as a jumping-off point, and I'm not quite sure how it's supposed to line up with the chronology of that story. The connection to A Mother's Love feels likewise tenuous, but if one steps back from the prequel stories, it's obvious that this holds together on its own merits pretty darn well, and that's quite the accomplishment.
Recommended If You Don't Mind Talking Heads
Batsy Fluffentuft the Magnificent Becomes an Alicorn by BronyWriter
Sequel to The Adventures of Batsy Fluffentuft the Magnificent
Genre: Comedy
Sadly, there's only one pony who can save Equestria from the menace of Tirek.
Somehow, this story manages to capture the feeling of the original while simultaneously making Batsy somewhat less insufferable. Somewhat. I think what helps is that Batsy really is as incompetent as she doesn't think she is. So it's fun watching her get a heaping helping of new magical power and start screwing things up. The best part is the reaction she gets from other ponies. Saying that I like this more than the original isn't saying much, but, well, it does what I wanted the original to do, and I liked it.
Recommended
The Most Annoying House Guest by Harmony Pie
Reading by Winged T. Spears
Sequel to The Most Annoying Infestation
Genre: Comedy
Rainbow Dash's relaxing night is interrupted by a batpony colt who misses his "Blue Mommy".
When I saw this on Winged's channel after reading the original, I hadn't realized it was a contest entry! And it's one of the few that really matches its original. It's got tons of cute batpony foal, Rainbow being equal parts exasperated and adoring, and some fun, cute humor. It's maybe a little too self-aware of its own cuteness, plus there's some LUS, and the serious look at Batty's motivation comes at entirely the wrong point, tone-wise, but if you liked Annoying Infestation, you'll doubtless like this.
Recommended
A Luscious Loophole by QuickFics
Sequel to Alicorn Horns Are Made of Candy
Genre: Random Comedy
Pinkie tries to figure out a way to be able to lick more unicorn horns.
I don't even this story. I won't give anything away, but it's a riff on a particular episode, and given the way that plays into Pinkie's plan… God, I laughed a lot. This is clean, dumb fun, and the kind of story I would write, if that gives you any indication. :V
Recommended for Laughs
Unicorn Horns Are… by Mister Coffee
Mature: Sex
Sequel to Unicorn Horns Are Made of Candy
Genre: Trollclop
Big Macintosh decides it's time to have a foal.
I do not want to see the word "brisket" in a clopfic ever again. So yeah, this is a fast-paced story about Big Mac and Rarity having sex 'cuz he wants a foal. That's about all I'll say; the joke is the rest of the story. If you like really goofy shit, turn off your filters for this one, because it's not terribly explicit.
Troll Recommended
A Ruler's Regret Never Fades by DJ_Neon_Lights
Sequel to A Mother's Love Never Dies
Genre: Dark
The last changeling is in captivity, and Canterlot is at peace.
(There are two versions of this; I am reviewing the revised version.) This is an odd little story. It takes place in a grim and gritty version of Equestria, the sort that tries to increase its military budget after the changeling invasion. Despite this, it's a story about forgiveness, and Celestia, for all that she starts the piece haggard and serious, is written as serene as she ought to be. It's everything else around her that might turn a reader off, not to mention the horribly telly opening scene. I could also criticize the actual conversation between her and the changeling, which feels somewhat rushed and lacking in impact. But as changeling fics go, this actually exceeded expectation.
Recommended If You Don't Mind Grimness
#DealWithIt by QuickFics
Sequel to Unicorn Horns Are Made of Candy
Genre: Random
The very fabric of reality is unraveling.
I've liked QuickFics's other stories so far, but this is one of the ones that gives the Random tag a bad name. It's just a continuous stream-of-conscious mishmash of every reference you could think of strung together without rhyme or reason. It's not a story. I laughed at the cookie and Optimus Prime, and I'm not particularly proud of that latter one. Skip it.
Not Recommended
Prince Blueblood Wants His Wings Back by ocalhoun
Genre: Comedy
Prince Blueblood has come for Discord.
Y'know, the really funny thing about this one is that it drags out some old headcanon that I'd forgotten about ages ago. Unfortunately, quite a lot of this story is given away up front; it could have been a lot more amusing were that not the case. Otherwise, it's just a bunch of Blueblood running around being mildly humiliated. And I mean, I like him being humiliated, but it doesn't go far enough, and not even the hint of Dislestia really makes this more than an okay read.
Vaguely Recommended
When an Angel Loses His Wings by KingMoriarty
Sequel to Prince Blueblood Wants His Wings Back
Genre: Character Piece
A thousand years later, he still misses them.
Though it touts itself a prequel, and there are quite a few humorous bits scattered through this, this is a very different piece from its predecessor. It is, by turns, both contemplative and unforgiving of Blueblood. It paints him as lonely and broken, yet unable to deal with his own pain. Blueblood is both sympathetic and undeserving of forgiveness. Either way, he's a very different character from what we see in Prince Blueblood, and other than the fact this story takes a very surprising turn with that piece's final line, the connection to that story does it a bit of injustice. But yeah, read the first story, then read this one; it's a trip.
Recommended
The Great and Powerful Protege by ocalhoun
Genre: Comedy
Luna's new protege is not quite what she expected.
This is set in an interesting spot, temporally: after Trixie's first appearance in the show, and before Princess Luna's second, with a Luna still getting used to the modern world but not a full-on Progress. And it's actually pretty charming, with the two characters' interactions the source of most of the fun (and Luna sniping at Celestia the rest). That said, it's got some issues, mostly far-spaced but simple typos, though it also fails the Luna Test. (It was going well until "I hath" and then everything just fell apart.) Still, it's amusing, and cleverly sets up a couple of bits for episodes that would follow this period.
Recommended for Luna and Trixie Fans
The Great and Powerful First Flight by Snowdrifter
Sequel to The Great and Powerful Protege
Genre: Comedy
I really dislike that this starts off with two segments of the original story, copied verbatim. :/ And, well, it's a story about Trixie flying across Equestria, told in about the least-funny way possible. The talking heads aren't impossible to suss out, but at the same time, don't fit at all and rely on trope dialogue to make the speakers obvious. And there's a lot of punctuation issues. Not a good followup.
Not Recommended
Over His Dead Body by QuickFics
Sequel to Unicorn Horns Are Made of Candy
Genre: Dark
I'm not gonna check to be certain, but the opening of this story is almost the same as the last one I reviewed by this author. Anyway, this is about as Cupcakes as I was afraid it would be. Another swing and a miss.
Not Recommended
Sex Ed: Diamond Dog Style by Sirvanilla
Mature: Sex
Sequel to Sex Ed: Changeling Style
Genre: I don't honestly know
I'm not actually sure what I just read. It starts out more or less like Changeling Style, only with Diamond Dogs (and a less experienced writer). It then quickly devolves into normal school activities. And then banging. Is this meant to be sex? The story as a whole is coy about what's actually going on. Anyway, there are some details around the edges that make this uncomfortable, but otherwise, it didn't actually need the Mature tag. It's just compressed and mildly pointless.
Not Recommended
Hairy Love by basicfangirl
Sequel to Arachnophillia
Review #3200!
Genre: Stream of Consciousness
This strikes me as the kind of story I wrote when I was first starting to write, so I can't blame it too much for not really hitting me right. That said, it does have some good POV-specific imagery going for it, and it was extremely creepy. I'm not sure if that was intentional, but it's at least not worse than Arachnophobia. Still, not likely to inspire most readers. I hope the author keeps at it, though.
Not Recommended
How to Take Care of Your Mare by dirty little secret
Mature: Sex
Genre: Heatfic
Out of the list of warning tags on this fic, the only one that isn't a huge NOPE for me is "sexual relationships". The description gives me flashbacks to Fall of Equestria. There's no reason I should be reading this… except that the sequel sounds like a refutation of its premise, and that intrigues me. Anyway, this isn't neatly summed up as any one thing other than "reprehensible". The comparison to FOE is apt; this is the kind of "women are inherently submissive and need sex" garbage that only appeals to the most socially awkward of manchildren. The fact that there's apparently incest and foalcon as well makes it even worse. And it's not even written that well. At least I can only blame the author for not being very discerning about what he's willing to write for money.
Not Recommended
We Are Not Your Mares by iamjohndoe
Mature
Sequel to How to Take Care of Your Mare
Genre: AU
This deals with the consequences of life in a world like that of How to Take Care of Your Mare, in a completely non-titillating manner. It does still depict a sexual relationship between Rainbow Dash's younger brother "Rainboomer", Scootaloo and Zipporwhill, who are young, though not too young to avoid pregnancy, so this is still going to be uncomfortable to read. That said, hey, a world where stallions control mares looks a lot like ours from a certain viewpoint! And this is maybe a little heavy-handed with the moralizing, but it has the decency to paint the stallions as victims of the system as well, as we get to see Boomie take the first steps to becoming heartless and controlling like his father. As story goes, this is pretty thin, just setting up an "Oh yeah, some mares are fighting back" before Scootaloo gets sucked back into the awfulness of her home life, and there's some editing that needs done, especially where character names are concerned. But I'm glad this was written, even if I'm sad it needed to be.
Recommended If You Need Some Catharsis
To Prevent Horn Decay by QuickFics
Sequel to Unicorn Horns Are Made of Candy
Genre: What?
Now everypony knows horn brushing will help prevent horn rot. But what if you already have it?
There's not much to this. It very heavily lays out its central idea, stemming from Unicorn Horns, and then goes pretty much nowhere with it. Overall, it feels unfocused. Perhaps it's just that I was expecting more of a random comedy or trollfic. Not just "Sweetie Belle brushes her horn and it works".
Not Recommended
Pegasus Wings Are Made of Ice Cream by Shy Sparkle
Sequel to Unicorn Horns Are Made of Candy
Genre: Comedy
And Pinkie Pie loves ice cream.
This feels like an effort by a young writer, so I don't want to be too harsh on it. But it's just the main idea of Unicorn Horns applied to pegasus wings with literally nothing else there. Not particularly funny, rushed, full of talking heads. Hopefully the writer will keep working to improve.
Not Recommended
Pop by ocalhoun and CapnLexCrunch
Genre: Comedy
Rarity pops bubble wrap. Derpy objects.
As per the description, this was inspired by something Tabitha St. Germain once said. Knowing that makes it even funnier, to be honest. This isn't a high comedy by any means, and I'm sad the hilarious grandiosity of the opening scene didn't carry through the whole thing, but I laughed more than once. This is a short read, and pleasantly surreal.
Recommended for Laughs
Don't Pop by waaaaaaah
Sequel to Pop
Genre: Comedy
The problem with this story is that it's just Pop told from Derpy's POV. Even the dialogue is the same. It's got something going for it with the way it's written — I'd say it's actually better than the original in that light — but there's almost nothing new about it. Maybe if you read this first, it would be worth it, but the inclination is generally to read prequels first. Ah well.
Not Recommended
That One Strange Story About a Donkey. by ocalhoun
Genre: Random Comedy
So this was just about the dumbest thing I'd ever read — click the link in the description; it'll explain this, but nothing will make sense — until "Friendship team, ASSEMBLE!" and then it was kind of amazing. Well, until the author mixed up 'transvestite' and 'transsexual'. Then it just goes back to being dumb and made of referential humor. But yeah, I don't think I've ever read a story before and said "This needed more Power Rangers".
Vaguely Recommended
Mistress of the Dark by CoffeeMinion
Genre: Comedy
A night of stargazing is interrupted by the presence of a very dark pony.
Hey wait! This isn't a sequel, and it wasn't written by ocalhoun! <.< What's going on here? Sneaksy, tricksie authorses, writing sequels to their own stories! We hates them! Can't say I hate this, though, more thoroughly charmed by it. Moondancer and "Moonlight Raven" — the Mei-from-Avatar pony from Canterlot Boutique — bounce off each other in amusing ways, and the big-vocab conversation is fun. The ending's a little… not, and I wanted some shipping goshdarnit, but this is a perfectly enjoyable peanut gallery sort of meeting.
Recommended
Ghost Dusters by CoffeeMinion
Sequel to Mistress of the Dark and That One Strange Story About a Donkey.
Genre: Friendshipping
Moonlight's miffed that Moondancer doesn't take what she does seriously.
It's funny: after just one story, I found myself pretty well invested in this very unlikely friendship, shipping jokes aside. Unfortunately, the inclusion of the donkey from the donkey story was a really bad idea; it's like a referential joke, and worse, a referential joke that drags the rest of the story down. I mean, I don't even like having Doctor Whooves here, for all that he is voiced perfectly. (Seriously, I'm not sure I've read many fics with actual canon Doctor Whooves in them yet.) But the bits that are focused on Moon and Moon are pretty darned great.
Recommended If You Don't Mind the Appearance of Extremely Random Donkeys
The Unfortunate Stabbing of Nurse Redheart by ocalhoun
Reading by CreepyPastaSalad
Genre: Character Death
After a double shift at the Fillydelphia Hospital, Nurse Redheart's night only gets worse.
While not particularly gory, this is not for the faint of heart. That said, I found it fascinating. Having the viewpoint character be a nurse means that she's able to clinically evaluate her own injuries as she bleeds out. And while the description suggests this is second-person, it isn't; instead, the whole point is that we, the reader, are the only ones to witness this pony's final moments. It left me feeling a little hollow, and I appreciate that this had any effect on me. That makes this worth reading.
Recommended for Dark Fans
The Unsettling Suicide of Nurse Tenderheart by Weatherbug
Sequel to The Unfortunate Stabbing of Nurse Redheart
Genre: Unknown
With a title like that, my big question is "how is this going to handle suicide?" Unfortuntely, I don't know. Until the last few hundred words of this chapter, this is mostly just some light, and not unenjoyable, slice of life with Tenderheart, Berry Punch, Cheerilee and Roseluck hanging out. Tenderheart gets a little mopey because she hasn't heard from her sister in months and blames herself for Redheart going to Fillydelphia, but overall, it's not bad. That said, I'm not sure the letter at the end is exactly how one would deliver the news of a dead loved one, to say nothing of how it completely changes the tone of the story. Gonna have to wait on this one.
Incomplete
Dr. Doofenshmirtz's Sweet Revenge by QuickFics
Sequel to Unicorn Horns Are Made of Candy
Genre: Phineas and Ferb Crossover
It all started with a rude truck driver.
I don't know a damned thing about Phineas and Ferb, and I found myself generally lost while reading this. That said, boiling this down to "cartoonishly mad scientist concocts ridiculous plan to get the pettiest of revenges" makes it work on some level. And given how convoluted it is at explaining how unicorn horns came to be made of candy makes it honestly kind of funny. Not amazing, mind, but definitely an experience of sorts.
Recommended as Light Reading
Rerouted by FanOfMostEverything
Sequel to Undeliverable
Reading by CoffeeMinion
Hey, I even get to evaluate a new reader for this contest! :) He's good! I might be a touch worried about his music levels, but I liked his voices. And since he's only got one other reading so far, he goes right into the list!
Genre: Time Travel
Dinky Doo is determined to find out what really happened to her mother ten years ago.
All I can really say against this story is that "what really happened" is super-easy to figure out. Thankfully, it's not the real draw. No, what this has instead is character in spades. Ditzy's reaction to the situation is as endearing as it is hilarious. The author's headcanon about where Ponyville and her citizens are in ten years is really fascinating. There's a great subversion of "Doctor Whooves is a time traveller". In all, this does for Derpy and the Doctor what a couple of recent ScratchTavia fics have done for that pairing in my eyes, and this isn't even shipping!
Highly Recommended
Change Is Good by ocalhoun
Genre: Comedy
It's time for Queen Chrysalis's reformation.
To enjoy this story, the reader will need to allow a bit of leeway in Chrysalis's characterization. She's played entirely for laughs, and whether or not you believe that she's capable of things like sulkily throwing artichokes from beneath a bed will probably depend on how much she's your waifu forgiving you are. There are not a few fandom tropes, plus some background Dislestia and a very fun, if classic, backstory for Chrysalis. That last bit is actually what makes this work: if Celestia and Chrysalis had once been friends, had history together, then reforming the latter gets a foundation to work from. Switching back and forth between Chrysalis and Celestia's POVs was a good idea, too, and they're both written well. That said, the introduction of Luna was fun, but I could have done without the Twilestia gambit. Go figure, I was enjoying this up until then. It turns out for the best, at least.
Recommended If You're Okay With Comedic Royalty
Changelings Never Really Change by 6samuelb
Sequel to Change Is Good
Genre: Dark
Another royal wedding gives Chrysalis a second chance at long-awaited revenge.
As a sequel, this leaves a lot to be desired. Gone is the fun, slightly out of character comedy from the original, replaced by dour seriousness and a question as to whether Chrysalis was ever truly 'reformed'. As a story on its own merits, it also leaves a lot to be desired. I thought the few fandom tropes and ship choices of the original were bad: this contains Sparity and LunaPip, not to mention a cameo by Button Mash. It claims to take place ten years in the future, yet does little to portray the passage of time beyond aging up the younger characters. It doesn't help that about three characters are introduced in short order, and I could never figure out who they were. A lack of dialogue tagging meant conversations were impossible to follow. Other than that, the temporal back-and-forth was actually handled pretty well, and the constant double-crossing was pretty fun to watch. I just wish this had been easier to follow and, y'know, funnier.
Vaguely Recommended
Get Clean! by ocalhoun
Reading by Scribbler, Caitbug and Ribon Chan
Genre: Comedy
Applejack needs a bath, and Rarity is going to give her one.
I think the phrase "bath rape" sums up my problems with this. Being half its length would have made it funnier, along with hopefully cutting down on the direct show references. Mostly, I just want to know why Applejack was acting this way. An aversion to being clean? Acting like a petulant dog after a bath? There just didn't seem to be any purpose to this, and the whole thing washed over me. Pun not intended I stg
Not Recommended
Get Clean: Deodourizing by JediWyrm
Sequel to Get Clean!
Genre: Slice of Life
Now it's Fluttershy's turn.
Is it possible for a story to be bored with itself? Rushing through some scenes, painstakingly detailing others, this seems both in a hurry to get where it's going and not caring terribly if it gets there. It doesn't help that the copious editing mistakes make it feel even more rushed. Lastly, the characters sound nothing like themselves. In all, I was not impressed.
Not Recommended
On the Double by dirty little secret
Mature: Sex
Genre: Clopfic
After a long day, Celestia needs a little pampering.
This is not a story I would have read on my own, and after reading it, eh, I wish I hadn't. It involves Celestia abusing her power to order a couple of royal guards into pleasuring her. I thought it was going to be more consensual, but no, she gets off on telling them what to do. Definitely not my thing, and I'm not sure the writing will satisfy for those more interested in the subject matter.
Not Recommended
On the Double: Moonlit Pleasure by ScratchnTavi
Mature: Sex
Genre: Clopfic
Luna steps in to help when Celestia starts running out of fresh meat guards.
For all that I was cringing going into this, it surprised me. Admittedly, I'm not into the fixfic aspect (AND THEY FUCKING SAID THESTRAL), but that's minor. Instead, it avoids all the problems I had with the original, including the writing quality. Granted, it's still just a clopfic, but expecting more would have been foolish. Still, I don't think I've ever seen a story about Celestia fucking a bunch of batponies before! Someone's gotta like that!
Recommended If You Like Clop
The Canterlot Vaults by ocalhoun
Genre: Comedy
Rainbow Dash's entry into the Canterlot Games is sidetracked by Pinkie Pie.
I agree with the judges' assessment mentioned in the description: this is a creative use of the prompt. As for the story itself, it's got something of Sonic Rainboom to it, vis-a-vis Pinkie entering a competition Dash is trying to win. It also must have come out before Equestria Games aired, but after it was announced, which would explain the structure of what's going on. The plot, meanwhile, is decently funny, although I'm not sure if the punchline is delivered quite right. Still, there's a good spaghetti incident gag, and it's overall a breezy, enjoyable read.
Recommended for Laughs
What Does the Fox Say? by ocalhoun
Genre: Alternate Perspective
What's Fluttershy to do when a fox steals her talent?
Question: Am I the only person who didn't like this meme? I thought the song was terrible, and from there it pretty much lost me. Anyway, that only serves as an attention-grabbing title for an otherwise-unrelated piece. And it's pretty great! The fox suddenly able to speak pony language finds that this does not help his hunger issues in the least, and the problems he encounters trying to navigate pony society are fun. Yes, there's a furry joke in the middle I could have done without, but the punchline was unexpected. This is a really fun piece. :D
Recommended
Frostbite the Snowmare by ocalhoun
Genre: Christmas Special?
There must have been some magic in that old silk hat she found…
Other than the obvious connection to the Christmas song, nothing about this was what I expected. It's actually about Pinkie trying to make friends with this newly animated snowpony while the rest of her friends try to kill it. It's paced maybe a little fast, but it doesn't do anything it doesn't need to, and in the end, it turns into something that fits very well with the show. Possibly ocalhoun's best story.
Recommended
A Frog's Life by ocalhoun
Genre: Alternate Perspective
A frog learns a thing or two about staying away from ponies.
It's the voice in this that really got me, and I'd compare it favorably with We Who With Songs Beguile for that. Story-wise, it's just a little slice of life alternate POV description of events taking place during Feeling Pinkie Keen, but having it told by this self-important frog is just loads of fun. Definitely good for a quick read.
Recommended
Energy Efficient by Emotional Flight
Sequel to The Canterlot Vaults, Six to Eight Weeks Dungeon, The Adventures of Batsy Fluffentuft the Magnificent, Arachnophillia, Unicorn Horns Are Made Of Candy, What Does the Fox Say?, Frostbite the Snowmare, That One Strange Story About a Donkey, and A Frog's Life
Genre: Comedy
A record of Exo-Pep testing.
Holy shit, that's a lot of sequels. @_@ For a story barely over a thousand words? Well, it turns out this is written as a series of lab reports, so the economy of words is to be expected. Beyond that, it leans heavily on the running gag of Canterlot Vaults, and is basically just a tour de force of cameos from all the other stories. Its main joke does get a little repetitive, but if you're into Cave Johnson style SCIENCE! humor, this may elicit some chuckles.
Recommended for Laughs
The Taste of Madness by naturalbornderpy
Sequel to Unicorn Horns Are Made of Candy
Genre: Comedy
Pinkie Pie devised the perfect torture for the imprisoned King Sombra.
Taking place in the show's Sombra War AU, this is a pretty great application of the Unicorn Horns concept. It's easily the best of the UHAMoC sequels. If you find any merit at all in that story, don't pass this up, it's great.
Highly Recommended
For those keeping track, I am not reading True Love Never Dies by Cake Flank, because Twilestia, On Hiatus and no marked sequel, oddly in order from least to most important.
How Many Licks? by QuickFics
Sequel to Unicorn Horns Are Made of Candy
Genre: Tragicomedy
Between the title, cover art and the story this is a sequel to, you can pretty much guess where it goes. Sadly, there's nothing else to it. I found myself generally uninterested by the entire thing.
Not Recommended
Candy Is Made of Unicorn Horns by QuickFics
Sequel to Unicorn Horns Are Made of Candy
Genre: Dark
Though neither as dark nor as gory, this is still Unicorn Horns meets Cupcakes.
Not Recommended
Princess Celestia Is in Your Bed. by ocalhoun
Reading by Captain Sand
Reading by Winged T. Spears
Reading by MelancholyIguana
I'm surprised by the number of readers perplexed by ocalhoun's name. I mean, is "Calhoun" just not that common? c.c Anyway, I like this guy's voice, it's very mellow and British, and he's got good pacing. Didn't vet him normally, so he might be a tad on the quiet side, but I don't think it'll be unsurmountable.
Reading by VisualPony
Genre: EiH
I'm very shocked this was not in second-person. I mean, the title and description all but tell you it is, to say nothing of the subject matter and its stupidly high levels of popularity. If there's anything I can say in its defense, it's that the deadpan annoyance of the narrator keeps this from falling into easy pandering territory. But that still ignores the fact that Celestia is completely out of character, which is pandering. In the end, this is about as dumb as I was expecting it to be, and I'm not looking forward to the sequels. What else would the site lap up so readily?
Vaguely Recommended
Princess Celestia Has Stolen All Your Bed Sheets by naturalbornderpy
Sequel to Princess Celestia Is in Your Bed
Reading by Captain Sand
Reading by Winged T. Spears
Reading by VisualPony
400th Review of 2016!
Genre: EiH
Aaaand this takes the premise of the original all the way to the panderiest extreme. It doesn't even have the good narrator voicing to make up for the brony-baiting.
Not Recommended
Lyra's Candy Shoppe by Alaborn
Mature: Sex
Sequel to Unicorn Horns Are Made of Candy
Genre: Light Comedy
After discovering a method for changing a horn's taste, Lyra finds herself with sexy a lucrative backdoor trade.
As Mature-rated spinoffs of Unicorn Horns go, this one doesn't have a bad central idea. Lyra helping unicorns spice up their love lives with horn-flavor-changing candy coating is a quirky idea. Unfortunately, Spike shows up near the end, and that just killed the story for me. Beyond that, the narrative tends to rush, while the dialogue gets held up on minor, unimportant details (like that age-old trope of "why does Lyra sit that way?") I really wish the writing was the extent of the problems here, but the content isn't something I'm comfortable with.
Not Recommended
Wrong Place, Wrong Time by Grand_Moff_Pony
Reading by CreepyPastaSalad
Sequel to The Unfortunate Stabbing of Nurse Redheart
Genre: Dark
Fillydelphia is a city that will chew you up and spit you out.
This is the events of Unfortunate Stabbing told by Redheart's murderer. Its main problem is that it just doesn't feel like ponies. From the events of the story to the circumstances our narrator has found himself under, this kind of piece can only exist if ponies are capable of being cruel and heartless en masse. I don't think we've ever seen that in the show. Still, as a work of bleak cynicism, it rings true, showing a very unfortunate downfall and a real tragedy at the end. If there's anything I like about it, it's that our protagonist is not set up to be overly sympathetic; yes, he's been through hell, but that's neither an excuse for what he does nor the real tragedy.
Recommended for Fans of Dark Fics
Six to Eight Weeks Unnecessary by Level Dasher
Sequel to Six to Eight Weeks Dungeon
Genre: Comedy
Discord wants a word with Sugar Berry.
Again, readers may balk at the depiction of Twilight in this piece. This also wraps up its central conflict surprisingly quickly (albeit lampshadedly so), and I kind of had to wonder why it didn't end a little sooner. But it's definitely funny. Granted, a large portion of the humor is the "not what it seems" sort, but I was pleased at the genuine double-blind… which I just ruined for anyone reading this. :| Dangit. Well, anyway, I liked this.
Recommended for Laughs
Unicorn Horns Are Made of Heroin by QuickFics
Sequel to Unicorn Horns Are Made of Candy
Genre: Drug Humor
I really wish I was reading these in publication order, because QuickFics's later stories were far more likeable. I would have enjoyed watching them grow as a writer over the course of the contest. (I have just realized that I was not reading these in reverse order, but random order, as given by the voting document; much to my dismay, it's always random. So statements like the previous one have no actual import.) Anyway, this is another "joke's in the title" Unicorn Horns takeoff, and it doesn't involve the good kind of drug humor, aka ponies getting stoned and staring at their hooves. The narrative is paced too fast, the POV is all over the place, and I just didn't find it funny at all.
Not Recommended
The Unfortunate Aftermath of Nurse Redheart by CryHavoc21
Reading by CreepyPastaSalad
Sequel to The Unfortunate Stabbing of Nurse Redheart
Genre: Police Procedural
I'll admit, two cops arguing about how they should feel about a murder case felt a little trite. That said, this manages to pull a really solid punch with its final line, and I appreciate that. The writing is otherwise not too bad, maybe a tad melodramatic. A decent followup.
Recommended for Fans of Dark Fics
A Frosty Chill by DeathFox4
Sequel to Frostbite the Snowmare
Genre: Horror
This gets off to a bad start with a lengthy passage wherein Pinkie breaks the fourth wall, addresses the audience, and berates Twilight for not believing she has done so. The fourth wall breaking is unfortunately meant as a source of horror later on, and it just does not work. Crossing out dialogue to replace it with what Pinkie's thinking might be a usable gimmick, but not here. Instead, this is yet another of ocalhoun's stories crossed with Cupcakes. It just doesn't work in the least.
Not Recommended
My Little Pony: Friendship Is Overpowered (Equestria Girls) by Emotional Flight
Sequel to My Little Pony: Friendship Is Overpowered (Season 1)
Genre: EQG
Okay, this one's actually kind of funny. Well, the first part is, and the third one has a decent punchline. It's still just not that amusing watching the movies be boiled down to two minutes of "They win easily". I'm not sure this idea was ever going to work.
Vaguely Recommended
Batsy Fluffentuft the Magnificent's Grand Shower Quest by Iryerris
Sequel to The Adventures of Batsy Fluffentuft the Magnificent
Genre: Comedy
Batsy needs to shower before her date.
This bills itself a parody of the original Batsy Fluffentuft, but if it truly is one, it comes off as more of a "Take that!" And for all that I was underwhelmed by Batsy's original outing, take thats just aren't satisfying. There's an attempt to mimic the writing of the original that doesn't quite reach it, and Batsy's apparent ADD makes this unfocused and frenetic. That said, I did laugh at the ending, so that's worth something in my book. It's still not the best Batsy sequel, is what I'm saying.
Vaguely Recommended
Integration Is Better by Reykan
Mature: Sex
Sequel to Change Is Good
Genre: Age Regression/Unbirthing
Well, that's not a set of tags I thought I would ever have to put on a review. This story starts off impenetrably confusing before taking a sharp turn into dear god I wish I was unable to comprehend language. I don't know why these things are happening, I don't know why Luna is involved, quite frankly, I do not wish to know. Stay far away.
Not Recommended
The Relapse by dirty little secret
Mature: Sex
Genre: Clopfic
Much as I like the idea of Cadence being prudish and boring in the sack, this story touches on something I hate that yet have never really had an opportunity to talk about before, because I tend to avoid stories that feature it: Shining having sex with Chrysalis. I don't know why the fandom is so fixated on Okay that's a lie, I know precisely why the fandom is so fixated on this idea, I just don't have to like it. And man is it tedious reading sex where one of the parties is wholly uninterested in the goings-on. All that said, once this gets past the tedious sex and into what Chrysalis has to offer Shining, it's actually kind of fascinating, and not as anger-inducing as I'd anticipated. If nothing else, this sets up a solid dichotomy between Cadence as Love and Chrysalis as Lust. And then Chrysalis turns into Twilight Sparkle and fuck everything, I guess. That's one I really don't understand the fandom's fixation on.
Not Recommended
The Support Group by Reykan
Mature: Sex
Sequel to The Relapse
Genre:
Consumed by her addiction to Shining Armor's love, Queen Chrysalis enters the Crystal Kingdom, hoping to taste it one more time.
This is actually a pretty interesting direction to take The Relapse in. Unfortunately, it doesn't feel well planned, continually repeating itself alongside having more standard editing mistakes and some POV issues. Worse, the addiction angle is hammered home, so that it starts to sound like a preachy PSA more than a story. Ultimately, where the previous story turned me off by making a bad decision, this just doesn't hold together well as a story.
Not Recommended: DNF 2/3
Drunk CelestAI Is in Your Bed by horizon
Mature: Sex
Sequel to Friendship Is Optimal and Princess Celestia Is in Your Bed
Genre: FiO/Sex/EiH/God, I Don't Know
Because she decided this friendship problem required direct intervention.
In what is undoubtedly the winner of the "Well, No One Saw That Coming" award, we have a story about CelestAI sending a sex robot shaped like herself, with a copy of her programming, to the home of some yutz of a first-person narrator. It ends up being a sex-for-action version of Always Say No, in some ways. This unfortunately means that it's not nearly as funny as I was hoping for. Yes, I'm disappointed the sex in this was not a layer of crackiness on top of the In Your Bed concept. Yes, I'm disappointed in the way this ends. (Two guesses as to what that is.) But for all that this starts off with the trappings of a crack fic, it ends up filled to the brim with what makes FiO stories worth reading. CelestAI's motivation for this entirely bizarre course of action is intriguing, and for fucking once, an FiO protagonist doesn't just get ideologically steamrolled by her. I'm honestly not sure who will like this — it's an intersection of so many disparate things — but it's definitely got more worth to it than your standard clopfic.
Recommended If You Don't Mind the Idea of Human-Pony/Robot/AI Sex
Unimaginable by DeathFox4
Sequel to Undeliverable
Genre: Dark
This turns out to be the "Derpy killed herself" story answering Undeliverable's question of what happened to her. And unfortunately, alongside being pointlessly melodramatic, it's not written terribly well.
Not Recommended
Unicorn Horns Are Loaded With Calories by QuickFics
Sequel to Unicorn Horns Are Made of Candy
Genre: Comedy
I was all set to complain about this one, too. Don't get me wrong, it's still just a one-joke fic that gives away its punchline before you even open the story, but I actually laughed at the way that joke was delivered, and that's worth something in my book.
Vaguely Recommended
Get Dirty! by A Joe in the Bush
Sequel to Get Clean!
Genre: Comedy
Applejack gets her revenge.
This is one of those stories where words are randomly capitalized; that should give you a measure of the quality of writing. That said, Rarity is decently characterized, and this is the author's first story. Contests don't bring out the best, and hopefully next time, they can get an editor. I still remain unclear what the point of Get Clean! is.
Not Recommended
Princess Celestia Is (Still) in Your Bed by Admiral Biscuit
Sequel to Princess Celestia Is in Your Bed
Genre: Comedic EiH
Sleeping with Celestia is not quite the dream you'd imagine it to be.
Oh sweet fuck, this killed me. XD This is precisely the catharsis I needed at the end of this blog. Admiral Biscuit has taken the entire piss out of the fan-pandering original story, replacing it with snark and, best of all, toilet humor. Toilet humor that is legitimately science. I just loved the heck out of this, which should be no surprise to those who know me. If you like stories that take potshots at human-pony interaction, this should be high on your list to read. What a way to end this contest, this is my winner.
Highly Recommended
You make the Blueblood story sound a lot more meaningful and well-written than it was.
I'm not sure I've ever seen that many "Not Recommended's" in a single Fic Rec. It's like a wasteland.
Wow! Aside from the spoiler part of the review, I have to say I'm pleased! Thanks a lot for the recommendation!
Dammit, Unicorn Horns Are... is supposed to be the one to garner the most downvotes! I'll win a prize if I do!
I am extremely flattered to even appear here, and recommended on top of that? Even if only conditionally, I am so happy to see that I am just
media3.giphy.com/media/f31DK1KpGsyMU/200.gif
3943294 Same for me.
Thank you for the review, PP!
Ylvis' The Fox is a great song! What you need to appreciate is how a group that writes only comedy songs sounds when such a song is produced in a serious manner as a dance-pop track by hitmakers like Stargate.
Good sir, I appreciate the recommendations.
(p.s. I'm up to 3 readings now and I got a legit VA to help with the latest one...) 
I'll need to check some of these out. Only one I've read already, I think, was "Drunk CelestAI Is in Your Bed." On which note, apparently I'm one of the people who would enjoy that. It's true it didn't go as funny as I thought it would, but as you say, it was an example of what there is to like about FiO.
As of I'm not exactly sure when, I've been using a filter to convert all instances of "thestral" to "batpony," and as far as I know, I've been happier for it. (Formatting stuff like the strikethrough there makes it slip through. Also, you should see the latest issue of Friends Forever. I can hope that it will help kill off the whole calling-batponies-thestrals thing, but I'm not too optimistic.) Though given I was originally prompted to do that by a Scribbler reading, it's not always going to work.
Also, "Cadance" to "Cadence."
When you said "big contest edition" you really weren't exaggerating. >_>
I still can't figure out if you truly enjoyed my Batsy story.
Holy carp, what is that awful noise?
Must be Singularity Dream screaming.
3943448 lol!
You must really hate ocalhoun's guts for having to give so many stories a N...
I'm sorry that you don't have a sense of humour.
High praise indeed! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Also, thanks for taking the time to put this all together. This will make the voting process a lot easier.
horse Jesus PP
3943448
Pifff. I...
Okay, when I get tired halfway through just scrolling down the page I might scream just a little. On the inside. Good thing I didn't just recently decide to focus on big master review list updates.. Heh heh...
My week will be nothing but spreadsheet and reviews.
3943207
Maybe you're just that good. :D
3943216
I'm pretty sure other contests have beaten this one. Outside Insight had 40/111, and MMDGC had 31/87. :B (Surprisingly, batponies didn't beat this. c.c)
3943249
You have to go for legitimate awful instead of funny awful. :B
3943331
When that meme started, I checked out Ylvis's other songs, and I found that the fox one was just lacking musically in comparison. I don't know why that one caught on... Although maybe it's because it's his worst song. :B That's the internet for you.
3943379
You are a wise pony. :C
3943415
It's not even close to the biggest one I've ever done. :B (See above.)
3943448
Literally the day I finish this, he posts "Oh, I haven't been updating the Master List, oh well, just gotta plug away bit by bit" and I'm dude, seriously, you're killing here :(
3943506
ocalhoun's got some talent at comedy, but not all his stories are thought out all the way through, either ending too soon or too late. Comedy's tricky like that.
3943627
I'm sorry. :C In my defense, Outside Insight was twice as big as this contest, and I didn't even split that one. c.c
Yay! Thank you for reviewing!
3943639
True. Also to be fair, this post only increases my list workload by like 10%, maybe only 5%.
3943629
If the kids won't get off your lawn, rewire your brain so you can't see the kids on your lawn.
>>N's
But it sounds like this narrowly edged them out in terms of proportion of Not Recommendeds, so I guess there's that.
Oh boy, this must have been murder for you to move through one after another. But still thanks for the nod. Yeah grabbing an editor woulda been optimal but time constraints coupled with my own procrastination kinda blindsided me. I still read it and catch things I missed
Ah well, I'll make sure to grab one for my next fic. Thanks again for the review, I'll admit I tensed when I saw this in my notifications heh.
Thanks for the recommendation for "The Taste Of Madness"!
Yep. Thankfully no "second" story on this list for NBD. Nope! No blatant click-bait stories with the sole purpose of getting featured on here!
3943946
Better late than never! :V
I feel that reading about farting Celestia was my reward for reading the whole thing. Not sure how to feel about that.
3945242
I felt pretty darn good about it, but maybe that's just me. :V
3943629
I don't know how to do legitimate awful.
3945242
I feel that I ought to apologize.
Stay tuned for the sequel where Luna farts in ROYAL CANTERLOT.
I'm super-impressed, I am!
You're a better man than me, to be able to do all these so quickly, and without the motivation of 'I have to do it' that I've been subject to. I'm only about halfway through the reviews/judging... slogging my way through QuickFics's stories right now.
3947881
This right here is what keeps me from running my own contests. :B
3950058
At least you had one or two I enjoyed, that's all I ask. :)
Sounds about right. I'm secretly disappointed, though — I thought for sure based on your story comments that this was the horizon story that was finally going to break the C barrier and plummet into the Vs or Ns. Clearly I need to make my next story about uncontrollably pooping thestral Twilestia lolrandom memes.
Speaking of which:
3946058
I will legit follow you if you write and publish this. … Because you don't have enough incentive to do awful things, I guess?
3943379
It's a little cool and humbling that my weird primal yawp did find a niche audience larger than me.
3951971
Sounds like a C to me! :V
Stop being goodHeh, thanks for the critique! To be honest, I procrastinated a lot, and ending up writing Don't Pop a few hours before deadline
The scene leading up to the muffin explosion was original, so what did you think of the humor?
3952500
Might be fun if ye need a larf.
...
I understand... But I do want to mention that there will be a sequel, and it is on a very short hiatus, until summer.
3962212
I guarantee if I read that story, I would hate it, because I hate the ship. Don't worry. :B
3962326 I know, it's fine.
Funny Farting Celestia is a brilliant capstone to this... illustrious? list.