• Member Since 29th Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen 40 minutes ago

NexusDragon


Hard work pays off later. Laziness pays off no-*snooze*

E

This story is a sequel to Six To Eight Weeks Dungeon


Ponyville's new code enforcement officer is still locked up tight in Princess Twilight's "Friendship Dungeon". It's been exactly a week now and Twilight seems to be nowhere closer to finding a solution that will allow her to release Sugar Berry. But that's fine, she's been there for a week so far and there haven't been any issues. Well except for what happened with Rainbow Dash, we don't talk about that.

But she fails to realize that Sugar Berry is in fact a government appointed official. And if she doesn't check-in after some time somepony is bound to find out and ask questions.


This is an entry for Ocalhouns Big 250k Contest

Edit 6/4/2016: Now with fewer grammatical errors courtesy of Boop-Happy Lass

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 13 )

The reader in me enjoyed this, but the grammar Nazi in me did not. To hell with it! Have a like.

I seriously need to do my own take on the origin of this story.

7078878 What they said. Hilarious story, but it really needs an editor. Still, upvote earned. :twilightsmile:

And this is why you can just get rid of a government agent. It's like killing part of a hive mind, the rest know, and are after you.

I liked the last story, and this one is awesome as well.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

I've read about a half-dozen of these contest entries, and I have to say this is the first that really catches the concept of what a sequel should be. You picked a story that needed one, frankly, and took the idea to a solid conclusion in a funny manner. :)

Now this one was really enjoyable! I really delighted in little extras added above and beyond the premise of the story like Pinkie's prison guard attitude or 'what happened to Rainbow Dash'. Sadly, it was marred by a lot of little grammar mistakes. You should really have a knowledgeable proofreader work through it for you, and then it would be pretty awesome! Even with the mistakes, though, this was a fun story, and it really does a good job of finishing the original.

cdn-img.fimfiction.net/group/vkuc-1448531607-209408-128
A review for ocalhoun's big 250k contest.
Remember to vote for the winner of the People's Choice award!
The rankings and ratings of stories in the contest are visible in real time, and you can see them here.

Luna was still chuckling, “Throwing a stuffy noble or officer in the dungeons might as well be a rite of passage for a student of my sister’s.”

This was the best line in the fic. I got a hearty chuckle out of it

boo

We agreed to not mention that Spike. I still don’t know where she got that royal guard uniform so fast.

Two royal guards poised at the front with the carriage.

Cap.
______________

All in all a pretty cool fic ... but what is this about Rainbow Dash in armor? There's a story there that's played a big part in this (in the sideline), but I have nothing to reference it too.

7478449
Hmm...I didn't know royal guard would get capped. Thanks for that.

Also, the Rainbow Dash in armor thing is a call back to the previous story where Twilight deputized Rainbow Dash at the end. Though what exactly happened afterword in between stories is meant to be more a noodle incident

7478570

On the Rainbow Dash thing ... ah. Kind of feel bad that we don't get to see that, since it showed up a lot, and had the makings of a good story ^_^. Still if it was meant to be a noodle incident (well a series of noodle incidents). Then that works I guess since it really doesn't detract from the story.

As for the Royal Guard bit, you're welcome and yep. Groups and organizations get capitalized ^_^.

Nice story but you URGENTLY need a proofreader. You can get one here. They are free.
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/27/

8747077
I actually got one from that exact group no less lmao. Though I suppose they didn't catch everything. Oh well, what can ya do.

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