Five To Seven Weeks Detention

by NexusDragon

It's not like anyone misses her or anything, right?

The friendship castle’s crystal exterior reflected sunlight in the early morning through all its wide-scale windows, sure to wake any pony who wasn’t careful in their sleeping position with a bright ray of Celestia’s brand sunlight. Though upon shining through the Princess of Friendship’s window those bright rays would beam against an empty, and ruffled bed.

The princess may have been up bright and early, but her number one assistant was still curled up in his basket, the rays of sun heating up his spines until he groaned and rolled about, stirring awake.

With a yawn he crawled out his basket on all fours, stretching slowly before looking towards Twilight’s bed. “Morning Twilight, I’ll get started on breakfast,” he managed to let a yawn out, walking towards her bed only to raise an eyebrow and let out a groan of annoyance at its empty state.

The walk to the dining area always felt long at first, taxing as he grew into living there and finally routine as the weeks followed on so it didn’t take him long to weave his way through the corridors, and come across the eating area. He had a suspicion he’d find the missing alicorn bookworm there, and he was unfortunately correct. She hadn’t noticed him yet as he walked closer towards her. She was too engrossed on her book, and Spike couldn’t help but notice the pile of literature around her only got larger as each day past, frustrated grunts coming from her only broken by sips from her mug.

Normally this was a casual sight for the purple dragon but under these circumstances,it was unfortunate mainly because of why she was awake this early, despite each night she spent convincing Spike she’d take a break, and he’d believe her only to find the alicorn either in the kitchen, at the map or in the dining area with the same pile and the same aggravated aura around her each following morning. Sitting at the crystal table, her ‘#2 Alicorn Librarian’ mug right at her side a small hint of steam from her coffee still drifting over it signifying it was fresh, was Twilight Sparkle but in front of her was a familiar pile of massive books all titles similar to a degree. The thick grey text she had cracked open now was weathered down with a bent spine, but you wouldn’t believe when she’d started this only a week ago that the book was brand new. It was a copy of the Ponyville Code Enforcement Standard Operations Manual. Among the pile were a mess of legal books, however the new addition to the pile worried him so much he read it aloud without thinking.

“How to treat dungeon captives 101...Twilight! Is she still down there!?” Spike couldn’t hold back his outburst before it came out, rounding the table and taking hold of the oddly thick dark red novel, waving it at the alicorn’s face.

The act was more than enough to snap the alicorn out of her focus as the dragon continued waving the book at her. Slouching back a bit in her chair she raised a hoof in defense. “Well of course she’s still down there, Spike! What else am I supposed to do?” She had a distinct frown on her face as she was already muzzle deep in the book scanning over the miniscule text for the umpteenth time.

Spike sighed, setting the book down, as he couldn’t understand how this was going on for so long. “You told me four days ago that you’d have her out as soon as you fixed whatever happened with Fluttershy.” He was about to start ranting some more, before he had to duck out of the way from the grey manual sailing into the wall, following an aggravated yell from Twilight.

“Exactly, Spike.” She groaned out, magic lifting up the book again only for the purple aura to fling it across the room a few more times till she seemed satisfied. “This stupid manual is so iron clad it’s a wonder half the ponies in Ponyville aren’t up to their ears in fines.”

She stood up, finally content with putting a new dent in the manual as she trotted past Spike, moving into the kitchen, grabbing out a tray and putting some fruit on it, along with a bowl of oatmeal.

Spike, however, was still putting two and two together as he loosely followed behind her into the kitchen. A minor look of distress presented on his face as he came to a realization, “B-but I’ve been feeding her while she was down there before you told me to stop.T-Twi-oof.” His train of thought was set off track once the tray collided with him and he scrambled about a bit to steady it.

Twilight rolled her eyes as she took another sip of her coffee, walking back towards the table, and prying open another book, this once labeled ‘Law Loopholes and Attorney Addendums’. “I already know where you’re going with that train of thought, mister. And I’ll have you know she’s been fed each day afterwards. I just did not want to keep you wrapped up in this mess.”

Spike raised an eyebrow, setting the tray on the table, not yet finished with her as he rubbed his chin. “Well I know from experience you going down there was no good. So…” He was waving his claw in a continuing gesture at Twilight who was trying her hardest to stay tight-lipped.

A nervous chuckle from behind her book was all he got for his trouble, though as it was more than obvious she wasn’t trying to let him in. “How do you know I didn’t go down there and give her food?”

Spike’s eyebrow barely raised before he deadpanned, “Because the first time you went down there to feed her, you attempted reasoning with her again and I had to drag you back upstairs by the tail and make you drink some tea before you disintegrated her.”

Her eyes narrowed, lowering the book revealing a sharp scowl, “I would not have disintegrated her. That spell was just a moderate kinetic blast, I swear.” With a huff she raised the book back up only to lower it once again after barely a minute, “And besides, like anypony would have missed that obnoxious, stuck-up, overly-rational, unreasonable, vexatious mare.”

The book was right back up, covering her face at the end of her rant. But Spike wasn’t falling for her poor though still mildly intimidating diversionary tactic, despite that her coffee was now boiling a bit. He reached for the tray, as though he were ready to accept defeat at this moment before getting a slight snide look on his face, and began to tap his foot. It went on for a few moments until the rhythmic patting started to echo through the halls. Twilight’s hooves began to grip the book harder, while Spike just grinned, the patting getting louder as the crystal walls carried the sound along. He continued to watch the alicorns head, her ear beginning to flick every few taps, seeing that his smile turned devious.

With Twilight’s ear in rhythm with his taps he began to alter the echoed sounds with little fluctuations in the tempo, making sure it was still just as loud so she couldn’t blot it out. Soon enough, her ear began to flick in tune with her own rhythm while still reacting to his sporadic ones.

Tap Tap T-Tap Tap T-T-Tap

“Spike…”

Tap-Tap Tap-T-Tap

“Spiiiiiike…” The grip on her book tightened even more, as her horn started to pulse.

T-Tap-Tap-T Ta-ap Taaaaap

“ALRIGHT FINE!”

He was about to add banging his claws on the table before a force levitated him from the ground and nearly yanked him in front of the aggravated alicorn. He was looking at her directly until he was set down, crossing his arms and waiting once more lest he start up his impromptu noise again.

Taking a small breath, almost having the shake the rhythm out of her system. “I...maaay have hired some help.”

As if on cue a pink pony bounced into the dining area. A hop in every few of her steps. “Hiya Twilight. Hiya Spike. Isn’t it a fantastically, splendiferous morning.” She was making her way towards an odd device that was mounted on the wall near the coffee maker. The machine had a clock fixed in the middle of it, along with a slot at the top, and a few thick cards in a pocket at the side. Digging a hoof into her hair, Pinkie Pie pulled out a card and slid it into the machine, a distinct punching noise heard.

Twilight groaned, massaging her temples as she went back to reading. Spike, however, was much more confused, it was just Pinkie Pie. Though when he turned to look back at her again, his concern came right back. In just seconds, Pinkie Pie’s mane was straightened out accompanied by a grim almost exasperated expression, along with a rather distinguished mustache. She was sporting a light blue collared shirt, an insignia resembling Twilight’s cutie mark embroidered on her chest, navy blue pants with a baton attached to her flank with a belt.

She was holding a cup of coffee in her hoof now, gulping it down before huffing a bit looking over to Twilight. “‘Nother day, ‘nother bit. Don’t know what they expect from us Princess, empty one cell, just ta fill it with another right after. I’ll take the convict her vittles.” She trotted over to the tray, sliding it onto her back and heading back through the entryway until the clop of her hooves was heard heading downstairs.

Spike couldn’t help but notice the odd accent Pinkie was using. But those concerns were stacked on top of where she got the coffee mug, those clothes and a hair straightener in the span of five seconds. “Seriously Twilight…”

“Yeah...she started doing that as soon as I asked for her help. I don’t even know when she installed a punch card machine in here. I’ve only seen those in museums. But she free’d up time for me to study so…” She finished off her coffee and slide out her chair. Stretching a bit and flexing her wings out before lighting up her horn, beginning to tidy up the pile of books.

“I can’t believe you fixed another one of your friends up with a side job Twilight. Did you forget what happened with Rainbow Dash?”

Her magic sputtered for a second, a visual wince along her body at even the mention of Dash. “We agreed to not mention that Spike. I still don’t know where she got that Royal Guard uniform so fast.”

Spike threw his arms in the air, already turning around and heading towards the staircase leading downstairs. “Yeah well, I’m gonna go keep an eye on Warden Pinkie. Who knows what’s going on down there.”

Twilight resolved to let Spike handle this. As much as she hated to admit it once their treehome exploded he was slowly getting more mature, at least for the most part so she was pretty certain he could at least keep Pinkie from taking her new position too far. “Thank you Spike, I’m supposed to meet Rarity for brunch anyway. Now I can leave a bit more relaxed.” Taking the books in tow she headed for the library section of her castle before heading out to meet Rarity, while Spike descended into the Friendship Dungeon.

---

Twilight stood in front of the Carousel Boutique, now nose deep in another of her many law manuals while she waited for Rarity. The walk over from her castle was pleasant at first, she stopped by Quills and Sofas to double check on yet another order she’d placed. Ever since the castle erected out the ground the owner had been all over her about furnishing her many rooms. It was then she learned Quills and Sofas was a bit of a misnomer, as he’d revealed a catalog of highly varying furniture from a warehouse he was apparently partnered with. Back when she’d first realized it he was more than excited to go on about his climb to the top, and how he raised the money. She had to take a shortened version when he started bringing up his early means of getting bits though. Turns out his slogan, “Not many stallions can offer a plush seat and the means to record the experience for one great price” stemmed from before his shop opened and she wasn’t eager for those details.

Growing impatient she was about to knock one more time before the door flew open, Rarity finally stepping out with a light twirl of her head letting the momentum wrap her light pink scarf around her neck. “Sorry about the wait dear, but beauty certainly does not prepare itself each morning now does it? Shall we?”

Twilight didn’t bother expressing her annoyance as they made their way to Sugarcube Corner. A small line showing the after morning crowd was dying down while they stood waiting. Rarity was busying herself talking about her latest spring line, wondering to herself if she should vary her line from her main store and the Canterlot Carousel. Twilight kept her attention as undivided as she could, still sneaking glances at her book until they came up to the counter.

“Well good afternoon girls, lovely seeing you both today. What can I get for you?” Mrs. Cake smiled at them both from behind the counter, Pound Cake cooing happily as he balanced on her back.

Twilight was closing up her book, a glowing bookmark appearing where she’d stopped, as if she’d ever dog-ear a book. “I’ll have a raspberry danish with some of your milk tea please.”

Rarity already knew what she wanted to order but was confused about something else, motioning over to the foal on the baker’s back. “Shouldn’t Pinkie be watching the twins at this hour?”

Twilight tensed a bit at Rarity’s inquiry but it was too late to raise a hoof in protest as a response was already in motion. Mrs. Cake smiled brightly, leaning back to nuzzle her little pegasus before explaining. “Well, Pinkie has a little morning job for the Princess every other day. I believe she’s taking care of someone staying with in the castle for the time being, but it’s no fuss at all. A mother should spend some time with her little ones when she can right?”

“Is that so?” Rarity’s eyebrow raised looking back and a now red-cheeked Twilight. “Well that is very true Mrs. Cake, I certainly didn’t mean to imply otherwise. I’ll have a cranberry muffin and a cappuccino. Two sugars, half a second of cream, desert dry with a sneak of hazelnut and I’ll not be needing it with legs today, we shall be enjoying the sun out in the patio area. We’ve got plenty to chat about, don’t we Twilight?”

Twilight let out a nervous chuckle, not responding with much more as Mrs. Cake returned with their orders looking bashful. “I didn’t say anything wrong did I Twilight?”

“No, no, not at all.” She placed her bits on the counter only for them to be enveloped in a light blue aura and motioned back to her tail, Rarity bits already covering both of their costs without another word. The look she was giving Twilight showing she wasn’t going to be debating it either.

Grabbing their orders both mares said their goodbyes to the Cakes and made their way to the patio area. Twilight, not wanting too many to hear the oncoming flame from Rarity, picked a nice spot on one of the laid out blankets near a tree. Settling down, and bringing her danish up to her mouth taking a quick bite and sighing happily. Aside from Spike interjecting, she hadn’t been eating breakfast properly since her early morning cram sessions began. She was actually starting to enjoy the quietness outside as she sipped her tea before the sound of a throat clearing itself loudly broke her relaxed state.

Rarity’s faux apologetic look was accentuated with her relaxed posture, stirring her coffee with a light blue stick of magic that vanished as she brought it to her lips. “So sorry Twilight, didn’t mean to alarm you. I was simply waiting for an explanation as to why you still have that mare chained up in your basement.” She went right back to sipping her coffee, a reflective look on her face.

Twilight scrunched up at how matter-of-fact her friend had put it. “She’s not chained up in my basement, she’s just in a cell in...my basement.”

“Yes see, that’s the part I’m still having some trouble understanding. Wasn’t she supposed to be out by now?”

Huffing and taking a bite from her danish, Twilight glanced off for a moment before grumbling. “You sound just like Spike.”

“Then at least I know you’ve still got a voice of reason around you. I’m not quite certain I can rely on Pinkie if she’s doing the watching for you while you run errands.” Rarity bit into her muffin, shaking her head before focusing back on Twilight. “I mean leaving your captive in the hooves of Pinkie, didn’t you learn your lesson from Rai-”

Rarity's breath caught in her throat as a familiar sound rung out in the air above her. Twilight stilled herself, sipping her tea till the armor-clad silhouette passed over top of her as she kept her head down.

“Since you sound just like Spike, I'll tell you the same thing I told him. We don’t talk about that, alright. Ponies around here still jump when they see a pegasus in armor.”

“Still Twilight, I don’t know how much longer you expect to keep this up. The Princesses are going to realize at some point that one of their officials are missing.”

“Even if they find out-”

“When…” Rarity interjected in-between bites of her muffin.

“IF...they find out. I’m more than certain Princess Celestia will trust my actions handling the matter and she’ll stand by whatever I choose to do. It’s just a matter of dealing with the situation at hoof myself. I mean, she made me a Princess for a reason right?”

Rarity frowned, taking another sip of her coffee before wincing at a familiar sound, a silhouette pegasus in armor once again flying overhead however this time it was accompanied with a bit more changing course and settling down right beside them. Next to their relaxation spot sat a gilded chariot from Canterlot. Two Royal Guards poised at the front with the carriage.

Twilight nearly had a panic attack right then and there, rotating slowly in their direction until she was facing one of the guards. “U-uh, can I assist you both with something?”

The left-most guard didn’t break his rigid stance, still staring straight as he announced towards her, “The Princesses request an audience with you at the Canterlot Castle Princess Twilight.”

Twilight’s left eye twitched and her wings spazzed, clearing her throat as she looked over to Rarity only to be met with a rather sharp, know-it-all stare. “W-well, I can get there myself. I just have to take care of the things back at the castle.”

The guard’s response was curt and immediate, “Negative, Princess Twilight. Princess Celestia’s instructions were specific, you are to accompany us immediately.” He moved back and opened the side of the carriage not waiting for rebuttal.

Her ears folded and she rose up from her spot, dragging herself to the back of the transport, and closing the side behind her. All the bravado she’d held before seemed to have drained out of her, as though it wasn’t there to begin with.

The guards were already galloping forward to gain speed as Rarity waved a hoof lightly towards her. “Good luck, dear.”

---

The ride over to the castle was silent except for the wind whistling through her ears. The guards seemed to be moving quicker than normal to get her to the audience hall. Which meant Celestia sent her fastest guards, which also meant this was urgent or pressing. Twilight didn’t like the idea of that, so when they had already landed in front of the massive doors to the castle, she stared at them with anxiety not felt from this area since when she first went to audition to be in her prestigious school.

Looking back to the guards they were already moving the chariot over to its storing area, leaving her to ascend the steps. Another guard already holding the door for her as she crept in softly.

Once she moved in and looked around, at the end of the hall were both Princess Celestia and Luna, sitting on their thrones staring right back at her.

Her voice reached out with no issue at all, though there was a strange calm, delight even, to it. “So glad you could join us, Twilight. Come forward.”

Making her way to the base of the thrones she couldn’t help but notice Celestia may have had a chipper tone, but she didn’t invite her to sit next to them, only to stand before them. “Um...how can I help you, Princess Celestia?”

“Now, now, Twilight, what have I told you? You’re a Princess as well, you only need to address me as Celestia. How have you been?”

Out the corner of her eye, Twilight spotted Luna rolling her eyes a bit which threw her off. Looking back up at Celestia who has had nothing other than a bright and casual smile just unnerved her even greater, as she stammered out her answer. “I’ve been doing fine, everything’s fine. Fluttershy’s fine and in her cottage and fine.”

She couldn’t be kicking herself harder as Celestia and Luna looked at one another with intrigue. Luna spoke up this time, “I’m a bit curious as to why you’d mention Fluttershy in particular-”

Celestia stopped Luna with a glance, “It’s perfectly normal for Twilight answering how she is with also including her friends. She is the Princess of Friendship sister. And as such I’m sure she’d do anything for her friends.”

Twilight shuffled a bit from her position, not liking how Celestia leaned on that particular word. “S-So was there anything I could help you with? It must have been urgent to send me so quickly.”

“Why, yes actually. You see, one of our officials have been missing for just about a week now.”

Twilight had never been known to have a good poker face. As easy to read as a rattlesnake at dinner time or, however Applejack put it. So the moment the word ‘official’ left Celestia’s mouth her body went rigid as she began to tremor. “O-Oh...is that so?”

Luna spoke up next, except she had an accusing look on her face, only it was coupled with...amusement it seemed. “Which was very odd. Seeing as this particular constable was very meticulous in her work.”

Despite being shaken to the core Twilight couldn’t help but roll her eyes and blurt out, “Yeah, you’re telling me.” Her hooves instantly shot up to cover her mouth though.

“Hmm, what was that?” Celestia leaned forward now, her shadow looming over Twilight. “You wouldn’t happen to know her whereabouts, would you?”

Twilight was right back to shaking under both of their gazes, as she shuffled once more. Looking everywhere except their eyes, she felt as though she was sweating buckets until finally under the pressure of the Princesses she burst. “I-didn’t-have-any-choice-I-tossed-her-in-the-dungeon-under-my-castle-I’m-so-sorry!!”

Twilight assumed they both had already known about where Sugar Berry was, but the startled and utterly flabbergasted look on both of their faces after her rapid confession said otherwise. They stared at her for much longer than either had expected, before looking at one another, then right back to her. Twilight’s guilt ridden expression moved from both of them till it looked like either was about to speak.

Luna was the first to break the silence, “Well, I was expecting a few things. But not that dear sister.”

Celestia’s mouth was still open, “You’ve certainly been busy with your princess duties. How about we start from the beginning of the incident.”

After a few breathing exercises Twilight explained exactly what had happened a week ago, ending off with Dash taking Sugar Berry to her dungeon. Something that had also caused a bit of a reaction from Celestia.

“So...When my guards were talking about one of the element bearers dressed up like them claiming to be a lieutenant. And the extra drills and the showers...oh...my.” Celestia looked back at Twilight with a reserved concern, and some slight fear.

“Um...sorry about that as well. But with Sugar Berry I couldn’t think of anything else but she was already on her way to evict Fluttershy. I had to do something.” Twilight hung her head down, ears pinned as she sighed in frustration.

“She was heading on her way to file a pre-eviction notice you mean?”

Twilight blinked as that sentence repeated itself in her head? “Wh-What?”

Luna cleared her throat and said it again, a bit louder though she really had no reason to. “You said Sugar Berry was about to go evict Fluttershy. But what I believe you meant, was she was about to file the pre-eviction paperwork to give to Mayor Mare. She can’t personally evict a pony.”

Celestia rubbed her hoof along her chin, letting off a light quizzical sound, “In fact I believe all she can do at Officer level is file notices and try to move it through the system. She has some minor pull but ultimately it would still need approval.”

Twilight’s mouth hung open before she tried to salvage her position, “Bu-But she seemed so sure and she didn’t care it was Fluttershy.”

“Well even if she didn’t, the higher it got on the ladder the more likely someone would have noticed an Element of Harmony was being evicted.”

Luna was looking at Twilight with a confused stare though the amused grin never left her face, “Seems Twilight still has a bit to learn about letting others handle her issues.”

Twilight was beside herself as she realized her mistakes in how she handled the situation. “I can’t believe I acted the way I did. And threw one of your Officers in my own personal dungeon. I can’t believe I thought you’d be okay with this. I-I guess I’m going to be stripped of my Princess title now, right?”

Celestia looked over at Luna. Their faces already cracking into smiles before the both has a small giggle fit between the both of them. Twilight however was not convinced, as she still sat there slumped as she awaited her fate.

Celestia, wiping a tear from her eye, noticed her student was in fact very serious about her claim. “Now Twilight, I would never revoke your Princess status for something like that.”

Luna was still chuckling, “Throwing a stuffy noble or officer in the dungeons might as well be a rite of passage for a student of my sister’s.”

“Luna!” Celestia’s face pinked slightly before letting out a sigh, trying to regain composure. “While it’s true I may have, overused, my status in our earlier years. Twilight does not need to know about that.”

Luna held her sly grin while Twilight was beginning to calm down due to this juicy information on her teacher. “I think not, I feel she’d be a bit more at ease if she knew about the nobles you locked away for attempting to bed your sister.”

Twilight gasped looking over at Celestia in a new light, “W-well, I guess sometimes being overprotective can go a bit far.”

Celestia looked over at Luna with a pleading gesture, but Luna was unrelenting. “Oh? I believe it had a bit more to do with two of those nobles having just rejected her own advances. Favoring the night in more ways than one.” She ended that little explanation sticking her tongue out at Celestia but her mission was accomplished. Twilight was no longer slumped and was laughing lightly.

The laughter was contagious now spreading even to Celestia as the three Princesses smiled brightly, thinking back to other embarrassing moments.

Twilight wiped her muzzle, letting out a sigh of relief. “Ah, I’m so glad I’m not in trouble for this.”

“Who said anything about you not being in trouble Twilight?”

Twilight’s smile was wiped right off her face once again. “B-But the laughing and you’ve done this as well and...and…”

Celestia rose up and walked down, placing a hoof at Twilight’s side. “You did wrongfully imprison a Canterlot official to allow your friend to continue to skirt the law. Then after imprisoning them did not notify either Mayor Mare, Luna or myself.”

“But, it was wrong to begin with.” Twilight frowned the more she thought about it. “Besides, what happened with you and those nobles?”

Celestia expression brightened, moving back to her chair, a servant bringing over some tea as she settled in her chair. “Well, back then we only had ourselves to keep each other in check. Luna released them after some time.”

Luna took a cup of tea herself, “You’re lucky to have someone to preside over and reprimand you so you can always learn lessons properly.”

“Yes...so very lucky.” Twilight groaned, accepting the tea that was placed at her side before the servant made her way out the hall.

“Seeing as you’re still having issues working with others outside your friends, I believe seeing some school lessons on the matter will help. You’ll be reporting to my School for Gifted Unicorns to survey and take note of their group procedures and see how fillies who haven’t worked together can come to do great things.”

Both Twilight and Luna choked on their tea as Celestia explained her punishment.

“Wait...detention!? You’re giving me detention at my old grade school? Can I even go back there for lessons?”

Taking a light sip of her tea Celestia gave her best motherly smile, though there was minor haughty feeling behind. “Don’t worry, think of it as Princess Detention.”

Luna was grumbling now, forelegs crossed over one another while she glanced at a particular stained glass window. “Be happy your punishment for defying her is held on Equestria.”

Celestia rolled her eyes, “Getting some real mileage out of that, aren’t we Luna?”

“How long am I going to have to do this?”

Rubbing her hoof under her chin once more, an appropriate time frame coming to her. “Five to Seven weeks.”

Comments

[insertfootinmouth]

The reader in me enjoyed this, but the grammar Nazi in me did not. To hell with it! Have a like.

[Charlie_K]

I seriously need to do my own take on the origin of this story.

[Level Dasher]

7078878 What they said. Hilarious story, but it really needs an editor. Still, upvote earned.

[General Grant]

And this is why you can just get rid of a government agent. It's like killing part of a hive mind, the rest know, and are after you.

I liked the last story, and this one is awesome as well.

[PresentPerfect]

I've read about a half-dozen of these contest entries, and I have to say this is the first that really catches the concept of what a sequel should be. You picked a story that needed one, frankly, and took the idea to a solid conclusion in a funny manner. :)

[ocalhoun]

Now this one was really enjoyable! I really delighted in little extras added above and beyond the premise of the story like Pinkie's prison guard attitude or 'what happened to Rainbow Dash'. Sadly, it was marred by a lot of little grammar mistakes. You should really have a knowledgeable proofreader work through it for you, and then it would be pretty awesome! Even with the mistakes, though, this was a fun story, and it really does a good job of finishing the original.

cdn-img.fimfiction.net/group/vkuc-1448531607-209408-128
A review for ocalhoun's big 250k contest.
Remember to vote for the winner of the People's Choice award!
The rankings and ratings of stories in the contest are visible in real time, and you can see them here.

[Fistfire]

Luna was still chuckling, “Throwing a stuffy noble or officer in the dungeons might as well be a rite of passage for a student of my sister’s.”

This was the best line in the fic. I got a hearty chuckle out of it

[garfan]

boo

[TheGreatEater]

We agreed to not mention that Spike. I still don’t know where she got that royal guard uniform so fast.

Two royal guards poised at the front with the carriage.

Cap.
______________

All in all a pretty cool fic ... but what is this about Rainbow Dash in armor? There's a story there that's played a big part in this (in the sideline), but I have nothing to reference it too.

[NexusDragon]

7478449
Hmm...I didn't know royal guard would get capped. Thanks for that.

Also, the Rainbow Dash in armor thing is a call back to the previous story where Twilight deputized Rainbow Dash at the end. Though what exactly happened afterword in between stories is meant to be more a noodle incident

[TheGreatEater]

7478570

On the Rainbow Dash thing ... ah. Kind of feel bad that we don't get to see that, since it showed up a lot, and had the makings of a good story ^_^. Still if it was meant to be a noodle incident (well a series of noodle incidents). Then that works I guess since it really doesn't detract from the story.

As for the Royal Guard bit, you're welcome and yep. Groups and organizations get capitalized ^_^.

[SWEETOLEBOB18]

Nice story but you URGENTLY need a proofreader. You can get one here. They are free.
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/27/

[NexusDragon]

8747077
I actually got one from that exact group no less lmao. Though I suppose they didn't catch everything. Oh well, what can ya do.