• Member Since 14th Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago

zakueins


T

Princess Twilight Sparkle may never be able to live it down, even if she's immortal.
She writes shipping stories as a stress relief tool, and there are all sorts of ships that she's had sail off to the horizon over the years.
Unfortunately, Spike just had to come in and sneeze on the pile of scrolls that she had written...and they were sent to the addressed parties.
It's going to be a long, long day...
Inspired by Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder and John Ringo. Seriously.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 75 )

Twi's got problems. Best part was Cheerilee correcting all the papers.

4721582 Thought that was the best part, along with the Big Macintosh discussion...:eeyup:

Oh, and of course, Chico The Checklist. :facehoof:

i wanna know aht sombra said :pinkiesad2: wrote..what ever you get my point.. outside of that great story good for a laugh poor twi you think by now she would have dragon proofed her now not so secret ships :rainbowlaugh:

4722235 We all make mistakes assuming nothing will go wrong, and it really was an accident.

Sadly, if I included the King Sombra bits, it would make the story "Mature" and probably have every Twibra shipper chasing after me with sharp sticks... :yay:

SOOOO painful. :raritycry:

4722553 Yes, but did you laugh through your pain? :pinkiehappy: Or were you crying in your beer? :applecry:

4722558 I'm not old enough to drink alcohol...

4722561 A mere technicality! Besides, you could be crying into your root beer...

4722576 I suppose I found it kinda funny, but I felt guilty that I did so. No moar questions, case closed. :trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

Laughing so much my side hurts, but I'm also really disturbed. May as well fave. ;)

4722622 It's like playing Cards Against Humanity before it was nerfed. You shouldn't be laughing, you shouldn't be making jokes about these kinds of things...but, it's so funny.... :trollestia:

4722636 Cards against humanity was nerfed? Where can I get the original version?

4722641 Look around for earlier boxed sets. They got rid of a lot of the transgendered and gay jokes in the game due to complaints.

4722648 Noted thank you. Equal rights are equal rights. I will fight for the right of gay people to be made fun of in cards against humanity, just as straight people are! :pinkiecrazy: (Can't ell if what I said was horribly wrong or not :facehoof: Oh well, we're talking about cards against humanity, anything goes I suppose. :twilightblush:)

Comment posted by raw19 deleted Jul 25th, 2014

That was pure, comedic genius.

Most excellent.

This was an incredibly funny story. Please give me more of your awesomness. :raritystarry:

That was ridiculous.

:trixieshiftright: Trixie's taunt was... surprisingly well aimed, it seems. Unless she was somehow mentioned in the chico story that it got sent to her....

Anyway, have a thumbs up for laughing. Also, Sombra.

4784736 Well, there's always the possibility that Twilight wrote a three-way story with Trixie and Chico... :twilightoops:

Oh good Celestia, you had my sides splitting the whole time I was reading this. I need MORE! MORE :pinkiecrazy:! Can we get a second chapter showing some of initial reactions to the fics Twilight wrote? Pretty pretty please with sugar on top? Also, gotta admit, I'm pretty curious about King Sombra's letter...

4814286 One of the big issues in writing the letters is that they're a sequence of Noodle Incidents. Would explaning exactly what Twilight Sparkle saw in King Sombra in the ship that had her and him married (post-Elements blasting) still be as funny and as naughty as what you imagine it could be?

Besides, if I started to sail these ships, you wouldn't want to know what the Respectful and Remoseful Trixie did... :raritystarry:

4814782 Oh you misunderstand me. I don't mean I want to see the FICS... what I want to see is the initial response of the Shipped upon receiving the fics! Particularly Chrysalis, Trixie, Cadence + Shining Armor, and Discord. I agree that the fics themselves are best left as Noodle Incidents, but showing how Noodle Incidents START can make the incident even more humorous.

I giggled a lot.

But you fail for not including the One True Pairing: :rainbowkiss::heart::eeyup:

:ajsmug:

4820991 "Wobbly." "Woobie." "WHATEVER!!!"

Time to find people to ship ponies with, this is too damn fun.
I blame Jake up there.

4821020

"Eeyup!"

"Shaddaup."

"Nope!"

"... you're lucky you're hot."

"Eeyup!

4821102 4821144
You may safely assume that any of the most likely of ships have been sailed. However, there is one story that is still safely under lock and key in Twilight Sparkle's desk.

It is a tale that shall make you quiver in fear and in anxiety and in lust. It must be drawn, if only because there is no other way to truly tell the tale.

And, it only goes by one name.

Lunashy.

:yay:

a few typos and wording issues here and there but overall i laughed my ass off

4821528 Yea, and as I find these errors, they get nailed and fixed.

I lack a good editor. Besides myself. :fluttershysad:

4821555 don't worry, pro tip for finding wording errors though, read the story out loud to yourself because things always sound better in your head than they really are because you wrote it.

Well... That`s one way to bring the world together.

The question remains, however... what if Trixie was simply jesting?

4835601 Well, still going to be the Bound and Denied Trixie when Twilight Sparkle finds out because you do not steal the heart of Chico The Checklist, even in jest... :twilightangry2:

4835866

It would be... a bit awkward for Twilight to learn it wasn`t Chico`s heart Trixie was after, y`know.

4838078 Doesn't matter. Chico is hers, and anypony that tries to steal him (as the Flagelated and Fornicated Trixie is about to find out...) is going to get what they deserve. :twilightangry2:

4839109

And now we know why Twilight is still single. :facehoof:

This makes me laugh every single time I read it..

I just want to know what the letter from King Sombra said........

5043280 Well, it was coherent...
And, there is Twibra shipping out there...
And, Twilight Sparkle has seen the Mirror Universe version of King Sombra...

I know people say this all the time and say "WRITE MORE" But really I'm tempted to say that as well...but only as maybe a second chapter as a epilog showing what some of the scrolls from folks like Sombra and Celestia say, alongside a semi we find out if Trixe is a bad pony...or a "bad pony" kinda thing. Series or episodic chapter....probably not.

5124983 There is THAT temptation...
The trick is...allowing your imagination to do the work for you. :trollestia:

whizzball1.exe broke at Chico.:rainbowlaugh::twilightoops: Fun story.

5132195 I will neither confirm nor deny that Twilight lost her virginity to Chico... :rainbowlaugh:

5132363 It was real? In-universe, obviously.

5132403 :trollestia: Maybe...maybe not...we just don't know... :pinkiecrazy:

5132413 :twilightoops::rainbowkiss:

How many licks does it take to get to the centre of a Tootsie Pop? The world may never know...

No offence, but I came into this thinking that there's no way that it could turn out as well as it did.
10/10, would read again.

Oh my gosh, this was fantastic. I'm not sure how I feel about the last line, but I was giggling throughout the story. I love Luna's and Celestia's responses.

So Twilight is basically every bad shipfic writer ever. :rainbowlaugh:

Minor nitpick: You can't "catch" an allergy.

double incest

How do you commit double incest?

5350026 Very carefully.

5349877 Most of her older stuff is...very cloppy. Some of the later stuff has plot and characterization and all sorts of penetration acts...

This was merely amusing up until...

If she got a scroll from King Sombra (or worse, a coherent one from King Sombra) -

...at which point I laughed so hard I had a coughing fit.

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