• Member Since 7th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago


I am not contained between my hat and my boots.


There once was a very large donkey named Eugene. He used to be a pirate, before his operation... which was challenging due to his vampire autism.

A short, silly, stupid story written for the sake of inclusion in a very exclusive group

Also read: Ghost Dusters

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 51 )

Should I read this?
You put me in a tough spot here buddy.

Yeah, that's an exclusive group alright.

You maniac! You actually did it, you maniac!

"It summons a defender from another dimension to vanquish our foes!"

I probably should have stopped, there. Heck I probably should have stopped at the title. Glad I didn't though.

Cheers, Null

Hey, somebody finally had the sense to downvote this thing! :rainbowlaugh:

And I probably shouldn't have written it. Oh well. :rainbowlaugh:

Finally, a story idea that people can't tell me is cliched!

When I saw that group, I knew I had to do this.

Only one way to find out... :raritywink:

Upon further review I realized that Eugene is transgender, not a transvestite. I’ll let it go this time, but if it happens again I’ll be forced to ban you from the group.

Aw... no 'close enough'? :rainbowwild:


I said I'd let it go, didn't I?

4194803 How do you know that Eugene isn't lying about the operation, which not only makes him/her a transvestite, but a dishonest one too. (Which goes with Pirate, I believe)

Mkay. ^.^

(And are transgenders technically also transvestites? I'm not sure.)

This is my new explanation! :rainbowkiss:


Not necessarily. If a man becomes a woman and then starts dressing as a man, then they are a transgender transvestite. If you dress as your new gender, you are merely transgender.


You just blew my mind away! It makes Eugene an interesting character study.

My god...
Sexiest thing I've ever read!

4194857 So Eugene would have to be a male donkey who only imagined that he really was female and was lying about having surgery to turn into a male, thus making him/her a deluded liar, who is only a transvestite in his own mind⁽¹⁾. (Actually I'm thinking of this from the other side where she really is a female, who only imagined that she was really a male, and is lying to everypony about having gotten surgery to be turned into a female, which she already was.)

In any case, it would make shopping for clothes a pain, particularly with the peg leg.

(1) This discounts the possibility that Eugene is really a confused hermaphrodite, or a seapony.


Exactly ^.^

I think you may be over-complicating things just a bit. :unsuresweetie::rainbowlaugh:

Well, I've decided to downvote my own fic. :derpytongue2:

4194960 I see! Eugene lying to the audience is actually a metaphor for Eugene lying to himself! But what does he lie about? His actual gender? His status as a transvestites or transsexual? Or some other aspect of his sexuality?

The answer is that we don’t know… because Eugene doesn’t know! Is there any way for us to know Eugene’s gender? No. Because there is no way for us to know our own gender, no way for us to truly know ourselves at all.

This fanfic puts us in the drivers seat of identity confusion, asking questions few dare to ask about not only sexuality, but identity in general.

Bravo, Ocalhoun. Bravo!

Yes, that is definitely the deep underpinning message I was going for with this fic. :derpyderp2:


4195038 Well, it's obvious...

That was fun to write. :twilightsheepish:

I'm glad I actually read this.

Aye. 'Tis glorious.

Me too! :rainbowlaugh:

Much glory
So wow
Big donkey

I demand a totally normal sequel about a zombie zebra midget ninja.

Only if she's also a pole-dancing firefighter!

She should end up fighting the Thundercats.

Past Sins can't even compare.

I know, right? :rainbowlaugh:
That fic didn't even have one power ranger in it!

Yes. Yes it was.

What? People are still reading this thing?

What the funambulist...

Except I doubt Eugene has the necessary balance. And he would probably break the rope.

RANDOM YAY! :scootangel:

Oh, this story.
My first failed attempt at getting a mostly negative rating on a story.

4953519 Well that worked well, didn't it? :rainbowlaugh:

Not at all! :raritydespair:
But then I succeeded with my horrific Flash Sentry fic. :pinkiecrazy:
And then I succeeded again -- without trying -- in The Opposite of Love. :facehoof:

... okay. that was... an experience.

have a like :trollestia:

People still read this thing? :rainbowderp:

6524039 i just stumbled upon a very interesting group and saw it had a single story within it, then curiosity followed.

Ah, that. Yes.

I wrote this story because I found that group, and I was determined to make a story that would fit in it.

6526020 yes, that dialouge is stiill on it's front page.

Author Interviewer

Needs more Power Rangers and less not-knowing-the-difference-between-a-transvestite-and-a-transsexual. :B

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