I am not contained between my hat and my boots.
The Writers' Group56,384 stories ·9,291 members
One-Shots18,903 stories ·2,369 members
Luna Is The Best Pony4,627 stories ·7,263 members
Slice of Life8,152 stories ·1,460 members
Princess Luna comes across the traveling show of a certain caped unicorn. Taken with the impressive displays of magic, she adopts Trixie as her new protege. She doesn't quite get what she expected, though.
Set between Boast Busters (S01E06) and Luna Eclipsed (S02E04). Trixie has been run out of Ponyville, but has not yet returned. Luna has yet to truly acclimate to the changes of the last thousand years.
Based on this story: The Great and Powerful First Flight
Page generated in 0.112 seconds
Total duration
768 users online
733,872 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Ugh.
Once again plagued by the silent, inexplicably early downvotes.
If you don't like it, TELL ME WHY!
Me like!
3666457
Thanks!
3666562
I don't know why people disliked this story. It's a good story
The end is a bit odd...
great story if you want more views you may want to add it to this group the great and not obsessive trixie on the site.
That was weird.
Everypony remained in character for the most part. I did think Twilight was rather jerkish in her return letter to Celestia, though.
It was an amusing scene where Trixie and Luna were showing off their magic. Or lack thereof in Trixie's case.
However, the ending didn't have the punch that I was expecting. It kinda just ends. Not sure what to do about that.
I did have fun with this, so kudos!
The one problem I had was that Twilight would never say anything like that, even if it is towards Trixie.
3666610
True. ^.^
3666616
It already is in that group.
3666647
Thanks!
3666702
Eh... maybe you're right.
I'm pretty sure S1E04 is Applebuck Season.
FOR
INSPIRATION and
RECOGNITION of
STORY
TELLING
3666865
I'll fix it.
Oh.
3666879
I see what you did there
3666454
This story fails because this story fits into a very niche area of Fimfiction. A student teacher Luna and Trixie is highly wanted. Your story pisses people off, because of that people like me who want to see this type of story get disappointed by stories like this. This is a very great concept that nobody outside of the Lunaverse people write so seeing a story that's not apart lunaverse that trashes a great concept is basically a giant trollfic.
What you've done is the same as making a story about Celestia and twilight having a mother daughter relationship. Only for Celestia to take a a sword in the second chapter and killed twilight for not going to bed on time.
I now this might not change your mind, but please think about changing your story and continuing it because you might not know this but this type of story with Luna and Trixie having a student teacher (or mother daughter relationship) is my favorite type of story.
First off I would like to say That I really like your story it’s got a great concept and great characters, but like I said up there you did yourself in.
There is a lot that trixie can learn a lot from luna, and a lot luna can learn from trixie.
Trixie is someone who wishes for power the only pony who could sway her from that path is luna as she is the only character that has had power and, have it corrupt her. Another thing Luna can teach trixie is how to behave in front of nobles luna would be able to reign her in and act like a mare worthy of representing luna. Trixie could also learn to except her shortcomings and learn to let go of revenge.
Luna’s character can learn something too from trixie. The most obvious is how to be more outgoing. Trixie is by far the most extrovert pony on the show she is the perfect pony to help bring luna out of her shell. Heck you showed a great example of this by having her being forced to go to a party she would other wise be interested in going to. Trixie could show her that she is not alone. From What your story shows Trixie has some skill as a pick-pocket; meaning she probably has experience stealing from people. This could be because she had lived on the street. If trixie lived on the street then she too could have trouble trusting other. (luna having just come back from the moon would naturally be more guarded against people.) One of my favorite ideas is that luna is the only one that can save trixie and trixie her because they are the most similar in terms of past, but complete opposite in terms of personality.
What I’m trying to say is that these two have such potential together, but no one -including you- has made a good student teacher trixie luna story. They are so alike and yet so different luna and trixie would just work as being a darker celestia and twilight parallel. They both have these walls that they need to overcome and the other would be able to help them. Think about Trixie knows more about failing with no meaningful form of redemption something sunbutt doesn't.
Pleas think about continuing this stroy.
ps pleas reply back
3667330
images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130210022941/glee/images/e/e1/THis.gif
This is very mean-spirited to Trixie, almost character assassination. She's not the most pleasant pony... but she's a hell off a lot better than the fandom makes her out to be on occasion. And yes, what Twilight wrote is also grossly out of character for her. That final 'chapter' made me wince in anger.
why trixie javascript:smilie('
');
3667474
Why not?
3667425
than most.
Oh... well, I guess I have a dimmer view of
3667330
Oh. That makes sense.
I was wondering why all the downvotes; it's not that bad... but that would explain it.
And I never write in other people's universes... at least not yet. I can make up my own just fine. ^.^
Well, I'm certainly not going to take this one and try to 'fix' it.
I'll keep the idea in mind to write one where things go well, though.
*stocks away ideas for possible future fic*
Well, I won't continue this one, certainly not after how unpopular it is. I'll sequel my more popular fics first.
I will keep that story idea in my list of ideas, though, and perhaps make a completely separate story about that some day.
I always do! ^.^
Says so right there in my bio.
Damn. That was ended prematurely.
Pity, it had a great potential. Obnoxious brat Trixie is hilarious if done right.
Also our dear Twilight mind controls Ponyville and (rightfully, though) gets only a slap on the wrist. But royal shampoo purloiner gets a taste of TOTHEMOONBIIIIIEAAATCH.
BTW, Trixie can't be a professional stage magician without some patience and dedication.
Thus Luna missed a chance to be pleasantly surprised later.
I thought it was rather good. made me chuckle and outright laugh on some parts. Some people who didn't like were expecting more? I don't know. and as I was typing that last sentence I came up with a weird analogy for your writings. You are like a long-barrel musket, you take a while to load (write) and sometimes you miss (this isn't one of those times I assure you) but for the most part you hit your mark... yeah that actually sounded a lot better in my head... but so much does now that I think about it... I'm rambling now so I will just post this.
3666454
because it was pointlessly cruel, that's why
:spittake:
3669624
Yeah... I seem to be getting that about all my fics lately... ending prematurely.
What can I say, I'm a premature cimaxer.
I'll work on it.
3669665
Well, this one actually didn't take that long to write. A few weeks is all.
3669793
I'm glad somebody appreciated that.
3670686
Oh... okay.
To Trixie, you mean?
Well, thank you, at least, for not being another silent downvoter!
3673938
I take it chapter 2 caught you by surprise?
3675339
It was so srs and then not srs and I was amused.
Epic. Simply epic. I
-ed a lot! Even though I did not really understand why Luna was running from Trixie in the end... My head is a bit 
right now, may someone be as kind enough to explain said issue to me? Thanks! 
3686629
No, you're right. It was left pretty unexplained in the story itself.
I'm thinking she was just freaked out to have Trixie suddenly there AGAIN.
That was -as someone else had pointed out previously- pointlessly cruel. Even without the magic duel episode showing how she would really react to her (She forgave her even after that for goodness sake) having Twilight act like such a bitch about it is incredibly OOC. This just all seemed to be focused around beating down on one character. That was...blah. It was stupid. I'm done. I've explained my down vote. Good day.
3748849
Yep....
Thanks for explaining it! There's nothing I hate worse than unexplained downvotes.
Hmm.... My feelings on this story are rather mixed. Let me start by saying that Trixie is far from being one of my favorite characters and I feel she's a bit obnoxious (as well as a liar), but I also think she was treated very unfairly in Boast Busters. She put on a show, dealt with hecklers, and then had her reputation ruined because two foolish colts brought a monster to town. But anyway.... Incoming minor spoilers.
On the surface, this story feels cruel because it portrays Trixie as an even bigger phony pony than she appears in canon (the storm cloud trick being the biggest example). However, upon thinking about it, the other aspects of her character shown here make sense (mostly). Her being an illusionist and even a cheap con artist really works for her. Though, I dunno about her pigging out at the buffet, since that might be bad for her reputation.
It's this mix of "that makes sense" and "that feels a bit weird" which make me unable to make up my own mind about this. And, of course, the ending is suited to a wackier comedy, but I don't think it's bad. Regardless of oddities, personal preferences, and even differing headcanon, though, this is a solid story. It's well-done, but I'm not sure it's my kind of thing. I do think it's worth having a look at, though. Upvoted.
3796828
Yeah, you pretty much hit the nail on the head on this one.
I was a bit too uncharitable when I gave Trixie her personality, I suppose, and it was a bit over-the-top.
It's apparently something I'm struggling with, making antagonist characters who are believable and not excessive.
Hopefully my Guardians of the Old Forest will do better on that front.
That ending made this story.
3875836
Ah,
I'd expect someone with a trollface in his avatar to appreciate that! ^.^
3879579 Actually, my avatar is more than just a trollface. It is a trollface on a Crysis nanosuit holding a Halo Battle Rifle.
But that is beside the point.
The ending of this was perfect, it went against every expectation that anyone would have about Trixie being Luna's protege.
"Dear Princess Celestia,
Trixie is not to be taken lightly. She is full of empty boasts and hollow bragging, and she is not to be trusted. She attracts trouble like a positively charged amiomorphic spell attracts axions.
If you want my advice, I'd recommend blasting her far, far away with the strongest magic you have.
Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle."
Spike don't write letters in twilights name.
3914557
My new headcanon that Spike actually wrote that letter.
Downvote because I simply don't like stories that make Trixie look like a complete idiot and utterly destroy her character. I honestly felt the only character that didn't feel completely OOC was Celestia.
4075102
Fair enough. Thanks for telling me why.
I gave this an upvote. I was actually rather amused by the characterizations in it.
I'm not too sure how anyone can really claim Celestia or Luna are particularly in or out of character, considering both are practically blank slates with so little canon presence. Luna mostly has one episode in which she was in a not-normal frame of mind. What little that episode gave us was clearly presented in this story with the linquistic use.
Trixie didn't really come across as stupid at all. Foolish, perhaps. She was however quick to pick up on a good thing when it landed in her lap. She was pretty brazen to accept Luna's offer, and she was clearly making good while the good was getting. Not all villains plan for the long game.
Playing straight up Trixie as presented in the show as a con artist and two-bit huckster is surprisingly rare in fiction. All too often I see her depicted as near-equals to Twilight in terms of magic, which always feels... wrong.
I especially enjoyed the fact that she enlisted pegasi to move and buck clouds for her. That was pretty clever, I think.
4106795
Nice, that's what I was going for.
A lot of people don't like how I did Trixie, though.
The characters felt a bit like parodies of themselves, so ... nah.
Not sure I'll downvote, but not really worth an upvote or even a fave. Kind of disappointing, since a lot of your other work's been pretty good (or even really good).
4925818
You win some, you lose some. It's okay.
And I realize that my depiction of Trixie, especially, doesn't follow fan norms. I like her as the sham showmare she was in her first appearance.
4926260 Actually, Trixie wasn't too far off. Maybe a little exaggerated, but eh.
wow, Celestia, Luna,and Twilight are total cunts in this story.
4934881
A bit, yeah.
Nepotism, or more accurately inheritance. He is their nephew.
5491279
I suppose.
It was good near the end but a bit slow at the start
sorry
6175359
Heh, pretty accurate though.
Huh, now I remember why I hate this story so much.
6968519
Do tell! ^.^