• Member Since 12th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen April 17th

iamjohndoe


Comments ( 16 )

Really interesting aspect of this universe which I thought about also. Well written and a nice atmosphere.
Good job!
I would read a sequel.

Comment posted by New Spark deleted Apr 4th, 2016

Really good chapter. Though Boomie's transition wasn't explained (through events, words, or anything really) enough. Which left the readers guessing. But besides that, really good.

A really fascinating take on the otherwise happy and carefree clop. I like the way you expand on the character of Boomie's father, along with the little touches that expand on the larger world. However, the way this ends and a couple of the suggestions made leaves me wary of where the story is going.

Yup. While a lot of this is still interesting, overall this went exactly I was afraid it would.

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Thanks for your feedback!

"Button's Mares" just popped up on my feed, but I haven't had the chance to check it out yet. But I will, and I'll be sure to leave comments. I'd love to hear more about your thoughts too, especially since I believe we're the only two people who have written a sequel to this. I felt the world was so interesting that I wanted to be able to explore it in greater depth, although there's so much I wasn't even able to fit into this fic.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

I applaud you for writing this. Far too many people are content to leave things at sexual gratification without considering who it hurts.

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Thank you.

Dirty Little Secret's story was well written. I enjoyed it. But I feel like he dodged that responsibility. There is more to this world that he has created, whether he intended there to be or not.

I feel like writers have a power over their audience to shape how they empathize with the world, and with that power comes a responsibility to understand what they're creating. To recognize that even if they don't tell every character's story, every character has a story, and that changes how they act. That in a world like this, there would be resistance, and uprisings, and ponies who are hurt. And I couldn't let that world go unexplored.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

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Given the original's a commission, I can't blame the author for doing what he did. Only being indiscerning. :B

Wow. Well done, well done. I should really thank you for taking on the heavier implications of the original (sort-of meaning that I don't have to). And I do like how you made it nuanced, not simple an 'evil stallions vs. good mares' sort of thing, but showing how (at least some) of the stallions are victims of the system too, through Boomie's character arc. (Though I could have preferred a more gradual and in-depth account of him turning dark, showing him really wavering between the two, maybe showing him daring to defy his father and showing what comes of that.) But yeah, this is an excellent story, dealing with the issues in the original very well, and this story is sadly underappreciated by the fimfic audience. (Though, to be fair, I can see why non-clop sequels to clopfics which go on to make people feel kind of bad for clopping would have a limited appeal.)

cdn-img.fimfiction.net/group/vkuc-1448531607-209408-128
A review for ocalhoun's big 250k contest.
Remember to vote for the winner of the People's Choice award!
The rankings and ratings of stories in the contest are visible in real time, and you can see them here.

I want this to end well. So badly.
It's a 1984-style ending.

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If I did write a continuation, it wouldn't have a happy ending.

Spitfire was right. They will not win this war within their lifetimes. But that doesn't mean they won't fight.

7314401 I'd still like a ending, even if its sad

After having skimmed through this despite avoiding it for a while, I honestly have to say that I enjoyed the original more.
Now, I realize that this wasn't MEANT to be enjoyable, but, as a whole, I generally prefer stories that end at LEAST bittersweetly, and this story just leaves me with a hollow empty feeling. And if that was the intent? Then you succeeded. But it was done so well that I actually can't bring myself to even upvote it. It WAS well written, all things considered, so I won't downvote it either.

I can take dark endings and I prefer them when the tone is dark, however I feel this is incomplete. It's a strange unfulfilled feeling.
It's a lie to say this was enjoyable to read, but it was definitely an experience.
I'm curious as to the liberation fronts battle plan.

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