Just your average british lad. I write things for a living. It’s the strangest living you’ll ever find, second only to my inability to take myself off of the grid.
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This story is a sequel to My Little Pony: Friendship is Overpowered (Season 4)
That was easy!
Join Twilight Sparkle and her friends as they easily defeat every challenge thrown at them with their awesome friendship powers.
This story is an entry for Ocalhoun's Big 250K Contest
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If that story should fit in Ocalhoun’s continuity, something went wrong. Golden Oak was not destroyed in his season 4.
And his CMCs already have their Cutie Marks since season 1.
But overall, this story is still quite good, close to the quality from Ocalhoun. There are some continuity errors, (the two pointed out above ant that Starlight is a villain again in the end without any explanation, but as the original stories also include some continuity errors, I would just say you did this to keep close to the original.
I hate to say this and i know its a horrid thing to say but that was the most lazy and crappiest version i have ever read about Starlight's redemption if you wanted to make Twi seem O.P you could have just had her first attempt to talk Starlight down actually work, This is just a poor showing of dislike towards Starlight's badly handled redemption.
6914961 And who's to say Ocalhoun himself won't make the same mistake?
Look at the tag that says RANDOM. This is in no means made to make any sense, and is just an entry for a contest.
Hate it all you want, but it is a valid entry in the contest, and that's all I care about.
6914994
I almost never comment in such a harsh manner, no disrespect intended and if i come across as an ass that's my bad.
Party perhaps?
Oh man, that big finish was awesome!
Not bad, not bad at all. Could it have used a little more work her and there? Maybe. Did it make me guffaw in delight several times? Most definitely!
...this does not fill me with good feelings...
...even more 'not feel good' moments...
...for a story titled 'Friendship is Overpowered', friendship seemed to be the last thing reached for in any of these.
In most of the original stories, the overall message of most episodes was still intact, and it only took the logical shortcuts presented.
Here, though...'magic fixes everything'? This was...actually unpleasant to read for a rather large part of it.
This implies that Derpy had sent the invitations after the Bugbear had appeared. However, we know they had been published before the Mane 6 started fighting the beast, and I don't think Cranky and Matilda would have sent the invitations on the day before the wedding. Therefore, there should be a timeskip between Derpy correcting the invitations and the Bugbear appearing.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/7/20/679160__safe_royal+guard_banner_artist-colon-hakar-dash-kerarmor_and+then+sex+happened.png
Tank's name is The Turtle
This kind of contacts the ending doesn't it?
I thought Rainbow would be more accepting but oh well
And what about Trouble getting into the rodeo? Is it still the sane
This fits better to what Friendship is Overpowered supposed to be I guess
Could have at least shown the background ponies. The flower girls not panicking and The Doctor getting his suit tailored
Actually I thought that them just talking in the dinner party having fun would have been proper friendship ending.
What about individuallity?? You could show Sassy and Rarity coming to an agreement if sorts
Maybe it would have been better if Rarity explained what's she was truly doing to a confused Twilight. Instead of costume changes. And end in her monologuing again.
Maybe if the town was more helpful?
Not in cannon with the Friendship is Overpowered cannon. The CMC already had thier marks by season 1
Wow this ties in with a previous chapter. Neat
At least in her other Friendship is Overpowered. Twilight if I recall never killed any villian. Just purify.
Maybe this chapter is a little extreme. Maybe just do a time paradox where Twilight takes young Starlight under her wing changing Current Starlight completely.
This certainly is good chapter.
Maybe it would have been more interesting if Twilight in the end decided to do a memory wipe spell on herself but writes a letter to herself explaining to not find out the secret Pinkie is keeping for friendshipsake just so that the Royal Couple could surprise her.
this is what they should have done to begin with.
This is what would happen if fiction is logical......and honestly, it's not too bad.
OOC Twilight.
Really?
??? What the...
That was the most underwhelming one.
Wouldn't doing a sonic anything inside a cave cause a cave-in?
So she just mentally then literally screws her into a friendship? That's a different rating for the show.
Unlike Zecora in Bridal gossip minus the filly-napping he did kind of do the things he was accused of even if it wasn't on purpose. The episode was really a better done version of bridal gossip in which they went off what a the character had actually done rather then what they assumed they would do.
The lesson here is : Your friends have the right to privacy but as princess you have the right to invade the privacy of their minds when they don't want to discuss things with you.
Heh, not bad not bad. I'll admit to a burst of laughter at the very end of the last chapter. That wrapped it up perfectly. Some chapters hit the mark perfectly... some were a bit off. But what did mar it was a need for some careful proofreading in examples like " come up?" Starlight Glimmer as the Main Six." and "With a smile, she wrote down the and published the invitations" And of course, while it's forgivable if grating in narration, putting the word 'whilst' into Rainbow's mouth is a crime. But still, a pretty decent job on this kind of story; I know how tricky they can be at times.
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A review for ocalhoun's big 250k contest.
Remember to vote for the winner of the People's Choice award!
The rankings and ratings of stories in the contest are visible in real time, and you can see them here.
Well, you've definitely captured the feeling of the original.
Which means I definitely don't want to read the rest of this. D: I'm sorry, but this idea is just boring as hell.
7161899 It's alright. I wasn't trying to be good anyway.
This was just something I decided to make since he probably won't do his own FIO for Season 5 any time soon.
I have plenty of other stories that are good, as well as some that are passable, and you can feel free to read any of them at any time.
Have a good day, Present.
I think I'll stick with watching the Friendship is Magic version of My Little Pony
Rebellious subjects, enemies to peace,
profaners of this neighbour-stained squash,—
Will they not hear? What, ho! you ponies, you beasts
that quench the fire of your pernicious rage
with purple fountains issuing from your veins,
on pain of torture, from those bloody hooves;
throw your mistemper'd pumpkins to the ground,
and hear the sentence of your moved princess.
Three wild brawls, bred of an airy word,
by thee, old Hooffield, and McColts,
have thrice disturb'd the quiet of these mountains,
and made Equestria's ancient critters
cast by their grave beseeming ornaments,
to wield old partisans, in hooves as old,
canker'd with peace, to part your canker'd hate:
If ever you disturb these mountains again,
your lives shall pay the forfeit of the peace.
For this time, all the rest depart away:
You McColts, shall go along with me:
and, Hooffields, come you this afternoon,
to know our further pleasure in this case,
to old Ponyville Castle, my very own judgment-place.
Or she could keep Tank indoors. Domesticated animals don't hibernate.
What kind of VIP package are we referring: to here?
6914961
Twilight never intended to redeem Starlight, her crimes include brainwashing a town, assaulting a princess multiple times, kidnapping a princess, assaulting and kidnapping the Element Bearers, breaking and entering, and multiple cases of theft.
Also the best method of redeeming Starlight that I have seen, involved her being kidnapped, tied to a chair in a room of Twilight's castle, tortured for a month, only to end up serving the pony who had her kidnapped in the first place.
7235241 That's not redemption its not even revenge that good sir / madam is sadistic and vile far beyond reason and logic, Starlight was not evil nor was she sadistic, her views on the world were at the time simply misguided and extreme, to suggest inhumane treatment to folks that you consider to be in the wrong makes you far worse then they could ever be.
7236830
Lets compare Starlight Glimmer to other villains in the show.
________________________________________
Princess Luna/Nightmare Moon
Actions-Became corrupted, tried to force eternal night on Equestria, attacked Celestia, and might have started a civil war.
Reason-Varies between jealousy of ponies loving Celestia/the day, to ponies outright hating her and demanding her death.
Redemption-Hit by the Elements of Harmony.
________________________________________
Queen Chrysalis
Actions-Kidnapped and impersonated Cadance, brainwashed Shining Armor, invading Canterlot, attacked Celestia and the Element Bearers.
Reason-Varies between the hunger for power, and the desire improve living conditions for her hive/species.
Redemption-Expelled from Canterlot via a love shield.
________________________________________
King Sombra
Actions- Became corrupted, conquered the Crystal Empire, killed its rulers and enslaved the populace.
Reason-The hunger for power.
Redemption- Destroyed by a love shield
________________________________________
Tirek
Actions- Broke out of Tartarus, rampaged across Equestria, draining ponies of their magic.
Reason- The hunger for power
Redemption- Blasted by the Elements of Harmony
________________________________________
Starlight Glimmer
Actions- Brainwashed an entire town and stole their cutie marks, stole the Mane Six’s cutie marks and attempted to brainwash them, fled when the town was freed, broke into Twilights castle, fought Twilight while disrupting the timeline, causing Equestria destruction and the deaths of thousands of ponies numerous times
Reason- A childhood friend discovered his cutie mark was magic-related and went to Canterlot and studied magic
Redemption- Had the opportunity to redeem herself. Instead decided to alter the time and prevent Twilight from fixing it, until Twilight dragged Starlight into the future and showed her that her would cause the entire planet to become a desolate wasteland.
________________________________________
Are you saying that Nightmare Moon, Chrysalis, Sombra, and Tirek are evil, but Starlight Glimmer is simply misguided
7237121 Yes that's exactly what I'm saying and maybe I'm wrong in having such views but i have them.
Friendship is Mind Rape? Seriously, this is reform spell levels of- oh.
But, won't she just make another one for herself?