S05E26 The Cutie Re-Mark Part 2
"See? You can't stop me no matter what you do," Starlight said with a smug grin on her face as she stared down Twilight after stopping the Rainboom once again. "You might as well give up."
"One more round. Winner takes all, Starlight," Twilight said as the dome appeared to whisk her off to another altered timeline.
"Fine by me. I'll be waiting..."
Twilight eventually returned and locked gazes with Starlight once again.
"Since this time is winner take all, I won't be holding back anymore." Starlight's horn glowed in anticipation.
"Neither will I," said Twilight as a pillar of magic turned her into Rainbow Power Twilight Sparkle. "Bring it on, Starlight!"
The fight went on just as before, only this time, Starlight's attacks were all futile with Twilight's new arsenal of spells. The alicorn was creating seeker shots that countered her opponent's beams and started to chase her through the skies, massive forcefields that would capture Starlight and prevent her from attacking, and even columns of light that stopped the flow of time so as not to grab anyone's attention.
The final attack came from Twilight, who unleashed a massive deluge of magic that completely overwhelmed and vaporized Starlight Glimmer once and for all.
The Rainboom was successful this time, and as Twilight and Spike were pulled back to the present, Twilight looked back at the falling ash that was Starlight.
"Looks like your time—" Twilight put on a pair of black-tinted sunglasses "—is up."
"Yeah!" said Spike as they finally left the past.
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But overall, this story is still quite good, close to the quality from Ocalhoun. There are some continuity errors, (the two pointed out above ant that Starlight is a villain again in the end without any explanation, but as the original stories also include some continuity errors, I would just say you did this to keep close to the original.
I hate to say this and i know its a horrid thing to say but that was the most lazy and crappiest version i have ever read about Starlight's redemption if you wanted to make Twi seem O.P you could have just had her first attempt to talk Starlight down actually work, This is just a poor showing of dislike towards Starlight's badly handled redemption.
6914961 And who's to say Ocalhoun himself won't make the same mistake?
Look at the tag that says RANDOM. This is in no means made to make any sense, and is just an entry for a contest.
Hate it all you want, but it is a valid entry in the contest, and that's all I care about.
6914994
I almost never comment in such a harsh manner, no disrespect intended and if i come across as an ass that's my bad.
Oh man, that big finish was awesome!
Not bad, not bad at all. Could it have used a little more work her and there? Maybe. Did it make me guffaw in delight several times? Most definitely!
...for a story titled 'Friendship is Overpowered', friendship seemed to be the last thing reached for in any of these.
In most of the original stories, the overall message of most episodes was still intact, and it only took the logical shortcuts presented.
Here, though...'magic fixes everything'? This was...actually unpleasant to read for a rather large part of it.
At least in her other Friendship is Overpowered. Twilight if I recall never killed any villian. Just purify.
Maybe this chapter is a little extreme. Maybe just do a time paradox where Twilight takes young Starlight under her wing changing Current Starlight completely.
This is what would happen if fiction is logical......and honestly, it's not too bad.
Heh, not bad not bad. I'll admit to a burst of laughter at the very end of the last chapter. That wrapped it up perfectly. Some chapters hit the mark perfectly... some were a bit off. But what did mar it was a need for some careful proofreading in examples like " come up?" Starlight Glimmer as the Main Six." and "With a smile, she wrote down the and published the invitations" And of course, while it's forgivable if grating in narration, putting the word 'whilst' into Rainbow's mouth is a crime. But still, a pretty decent job on this kind of story; I know how tricky they can be at times.
cdn-img.fimfiction.net/group/vkuc-1448531607-209408-128
A review for ocalhoun's big 250k contest.
Remember to vote for the winner of the People's Choice award!
The rankings and ratings of stories in the contest are visible in real time, and you can see them here.
7161899 It's alright. I wasn't trying to be good anyway.
This was just something I decided to make since he probably won't do his own FIO for Season 5 any time soon.
I have plenty of other stories that are good, as well as some that are passable, and you can feel free to read any of them at any time.
Have a good day, Present.
I think I'll stick with watching the Friendship is Magic version of My Little Pony
6914961
Twilight never intended to redeem Starlight, her crimes include brainwashing a town, assaulting a princess multiple times, kidnapping a princess, assaulting and kidnapping the Element Bearers, breaking and entering, and multiple cases of theft.
Also the best method of redeeming Starlight that I have seen, involved her being kidnapped, tied to a chair in a room of Twilight's castle, tortured for a month, only to end up serving the pony who had her kidnapped in the first place.
7235241 That's not redemption its not even revenge that good sir / madam is sadistic and vile far beyond reason and logic, Starlight was not evil nor was she sadistic, her views on the world were at the time simply misguided and extreme, to suggest inhumane treatment to folks that you consider to be in the wrong makes you far worse then they could ever be.
7236830
Lets compare Starlight Glimmer to other villains in the show.
________________________________________
Princess Luna/Nightmare Moon
Actions-Became corrupted, tried to force eternal night on Equestria, attacked Celestia, and might have started a civil war.
Reason-Varies between jealousy of ponies loving Celestia/the day, to ponies outright hating her and demanding her death.
Redemption-Hit by the Elements of Harmony.
________________________________________
Queen Chrysalis
Actions-Kidnapped and impersonated Cadance, brainwashed Shining Armor, invading Canterlot, attacked Celestia and the Element Bearers.
Reason-Varies between the hunger for power, and the desire improve living conditions for her hive/species.
Redemption-Expelled from Canterlot via a love shield.
________________________________________
King Sombra
Actions- Became corrupted, conquered the Crystal Empire, killed its rulers and enslaved the populace.
Reason-The hunger for power.
Redemption- Destroyed by a love shield
________________________________________
Tirek
Actions- Broke out of Tartarus, rampaged across Equestria, draining ponies of their magic.
Reason- The hunger for power
Redemption- Blasted by the Elements of Harmony
________________________________________
Starlight Glimmer
Actions- Brainwashed an entire town and stole their cutie marks, stole the Mane Six’s cutie marks and attempted to brainwash them, fled when the town was freed, broke into Twilights castle, fought Twilight while disrupting the timeline, causing Equestria destruction and the deaths of thousands of ponies numerous times
Reason- A childhood friend discovered his cutie mark was magic-related and went to Canterlot and studied magic
Redemption- Had the opportunity to redeem herself. Instead decided to alter the time and prevent Twilight from fixing it, until Twilight dragged Starlight into the future and showed her that her would cause the entire planet to become a desolate wasteland.
________________________________________
Are you saying that Nightmare Moon, Chrysalis, Sombra, and Tirek are evil, but Starlight Glimmer is simply misguided
7237121 Yes that's exactly what I'm saying and maybe I'm wrong in having such views but i have them.
Yeah, I think I'll just stick to the ones by Ocalhoun.
Partly because those didn't involve anyone getting killed.
However, the bigger reason is that, while, in the original series, more often than not I preferred the original episode to the shortened version, the shortened version not only stuck to the message of the episodes most of the time, but they were also fairly amusing.
Here, most of the time the methods used to reach a quick ending crossed the line.
And this last chapter falls under that sentence perfectly.
However, I will say that some of the chapters did prove just to be as amusing as the original. but those were few and far between.
7389665 Whoops meant to say Rainbow
7237121
Cleary you don't even read your own writing. Unlike Starlight, most of those others only did it for power. Starlight did it because she wanted real friends.
So, yes the others are evil while Starlight is only misguided.
LET's just take a moment in history to acknowledge this time where one of the most badassery things in pony-history ever happened.
(later)
Rainbow: Yeah, you know what really inspired me to get these sunglasses and be cool?
Twilight: Oh, what?
Rainbow: Some purple alicorn had these on and threw them at me before winking and teleporting away with an explosion in the background. It was awesome! She told me to be 20% cooler!
Twilight: *innocently smiles behind the newspaper* Oh?
But I like Starlight
Friendship is overpowered season 6!!!