Just your average british lad. I write things for a living. It’s the strangest living you’ll ever find, second only to my inability to take myself off of the grid.
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The Fall Formal is on the prowl once again. This time, however, it's anyone's game on who could be the princess.
In a bid to win the crown for the Formal, the Cutie Mark Crusaders decide to cosplay as The Dazzlings.
This can only go so well...
The cover art for this story belongs to the very talented uotapo on Deviantart. Be sure to support him in all of his endeavours.
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This is pretty cool. I like Applebloom being the voice of reason. Saying that it's a bad idea to cosplay as 3 evil Sirens. I can't wait to see more of this.
I was wondering when fanfics of this picture were going to show up. This is going to be fun to read. Let's just hope the Dazzlings don't find out. Actually, let's hope they do. It'll be more fun!
Those colors work way too well on these three.
I like this idea.
Well this is gonna be fun.
I can see this going horribly wrong in many different ways.
As do I, only with more horrendous outcomes.
Very promising start, after a few more chapters I might consider adding this to my Favorites.
Chapter 2: Somewhere in a suburban mansion, three songless sirens are working on a plan to win back the hearts and minds of Canterlot High School. They know the fall formal's coming up, and the cosplay event offers the perfect opportunity to reinvent their image. All they need now is a set of three people to dress up as, three people who all the students will recognise, who have a reputation for being good-intentioned, hard-working, friendly and adorable. Maybe even people related to the Rainbooms, for an added chance to charm their way into forgiveness from their former enemies...
I don't know why, but I find it funny that it shifts from Sunset and her friends immediately to the CMCs
! Oh sh*t, this Fall Formal is about to get interesting
! Maybe Sweetie Dusk wants cake instead of tacos?
You have my curiosity Shadowmane. Let's see if you get my attention.
So the CMC will cosplay as the Sexy Sirens?
They can dress the dress and walk the walk but can they talk the talk?
7730986 Given their performance in "The Show Stoppers", no way.
That song still gives me headaches.
Faved as soon as I saw the description.
That pic just sells it. Love Uotapo's art.
I'm still half expecting the real Dazzlings to show up at some point.
I really like how you referenced how Lemon Zest was called Lemon Tart in the credits of Friendship Games.
I wonder how the real Dazzlings will react to this.
7741671 They'll either be honored or angered.
7741797
7741671
I could definitely see them coming around to the idea, even taking the CMCs under their wing and training them in their ways enough to do a decent job of cosplaying them. It would help rehabilitate their image, after all, while also keeping their legacy alive as villains who brought the school to its knees.
I could also see Aria almost rolling on the floor with delight about how the idea will get under Applejack's and Rainbow's skins.
7741863 This is exactly how I want this story to go. However, the lack of Dazzlings in the character tags leads me to believe it won't happen. Fun idea though.
7741889 Oooh, fair point. I'd hope that possibly they're not there to avoid spoilers, but that's probably my own wishful thinking.
In fact, in a cosplay situation, the story is almost as much about the Dazzlings as it is about the CMCs, whether the former show up or not, so an argument could be made that they should be tagged anyway.
Wait, Applejack HATES anime? Is that a joke or reference, cause I don't get it.
7741908 You'll find out about that in a later chapter.
Nice cover art.
I'm still expecting craziness to ensue, but this is fun so far.
Nicely done!
I completely agree with Pinkie, she is adorable.
Can't help feeling they didn't actually learn that much here that they wouldn't have picked up by themselves when learning the sirens' names at the battle...? Maybe they could get tips on the Dazzlings' body language from someone, so they get Aria's habit of alternating between crossed arms and facepalming, Sonata's innocent hands-behind-back pose and excitable smile, and Adagio's walk?
A pretty good analysis. It´s rare to find a fic where Pinkie is depicted as insightful under her cheeriness.
Nice chapter & references! I have a feeling, however, that this is going to end horribly for the Cutie Mark Dazzlings
!
And once again, Uotapo has inspired a fanfic with his amazing artwork.
They never actually LEFT FiMF popularity...
OK, before I get into specifics, I'm going to point out two major logic fails with your premise:
1. You don't cosplay at a FORMAL DANCE. The Fall Formal is a formal dance, which means you wear formal attire. That "formal attire" in the EG world includes bizarre outfits like Rainbow's dress in the first movie doesn't mean cosplaying as the Dazzlings would be even remotely appropriate for a formal dance. They'd be turned away at the door by the chaperones.
2. There's ONE Fall Formal Princess. Three girls can't go in together to win the crown. That isn't how school dances work.
Now, some more specific nitpicks:
These two thoughts are logically dissonant and should not be connected the way you've attempted to connect them. Especially not when the paragraph ends with:
That's a completely different fanfic.
Uhh, why WOULDN'T they? It's an annual formal dance. Just because Sunset Shimmer happened doesn't mean they'd stop having it, any more than they'd stop having the Spring Fling. Also, I think you're grossly overstating the level of apathy/anxiety the CHS student body have about magic disrupting the Fall Formal again. I mean, yeah, it's normal they'd be wary after four separate incidents of weirdness, but they also know the Rainbooms have it covered, so they wouldn't be completely dreading a major school event.
Funny as this bit is, nitpick: Security/Secret Service types don't wear tuxedos. They wear plain black suits.
Any reason Sunset's suddenly talking like a Silver Age comic book character?
y'all
I'll admit it's been a long time since I was a high school student and we didn't even have cellphones back then, but don't high school kids mostly use their phones for texting and tweeting at school? Minor nitpick, but the devil is in the details, and this stuck out to me.
...
....
.....umm...
...What?!
Did you...did you even watch the first movie?
Do you...do you even know how popularity contests like a homecoming dance work?
Because the Fall Formal is set up to basically work like an American high school Homecoming Dance, where the selection of Prince/King and Princess/Queen are entirely a popularity contest. And this "series of events" thing you have going on here is nonsensical. No such thing happened at the Fall Formal in the first movie (FOR GOOD REASON, it's a DANCE), so there's NO logical reason it would be a part of THIS one.
I...I can't.
I just can't.
I'm going to have to stop here.
I wanted to read a story about the CMC cosplaying as the Dazzlings and getting into mischief. Really, I did.
But here's the thing...
You screwed it up by coming up with a completely ridiculous premise.
If you had, instead, made it a Halloween dance, or some random cosplay contest? It would've worked!
But awkwardly shoehorning the Fall Formal into this, showing a complete lack of understanding about how formal dances at high schools work, and then shoving all this "series of challenges" and "cosplay contest judging" thing into what is basically a homecoming dance...
I'm sorry, but this story is 100% fail because it doesn't make one bit of sense as presented.
7748265 To be fair, I have seen the first movies. And I'm not judging anything as we BARELY know how the hell CHS works. If it were a normal school, then cosplay would've been prohibited. And besides, Uotapo's picture quite literally SAYS that the Fall Formal has a cosplay contest that year. If you have an issue with that, then take it up with the artist; NOT the author.
And you seem to have forgotten one more thing, Mythril. This is a MAGICAL GIRL world now. Equestria Girls is no longer Equestria Girls thanks to Legend of the Everpenis. They're going to be battling Sailor Moon enemies in the next movie given those magical pendants around their necks.
You are entitled to your own opinions, yes, but just remember that Canterlot High blindly ALLOWED Hellfire Shimmer, The Dazzlings, AND Midnight Sparkle to attack without calling the police in the first three movies. With that in mind, they can get away with quite literally ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING.
If you hate it, then that's fine, but please remember that this is a work of FICTION. We ALL write fiction on this site—even you. What's so wrong with letting your imagination run wild?
Looks interesting, will read later.
7748356 Your entire argument boils down to "I'm making excuses for failing at logic, and I'm blaming somebody else for my excuses." That isn't a defense of your story. It's just being defensive. You have not refuted my points in any satisfactory way, and my argument that your story fails logic stands.
Because there are still rules even when you let your imagination "run wild". There has to be some sort of logic to a story. It has to be at least on some level internally consistent with (a) the canon work and (b) common sense. There has to be a bridge between "source material" and "fanfiction". It has to be a stable bridge that the reader can cross without relying on invisible magical goats to catch him if the cables snap.
You do not have such a bridge here. You have a thin, warped plank that termites have been going at. And your invisible magical goats are off having a group shit.
If this was a Nightmare Night party, like 90% of the critism you have received would not have come. I enjoy the story, but you might want to change it to a Nightmare Night/Halloween party...
Change it to a Halloween Party thing and things would flow more smoothly
7748356 The Equestria Girls series has been 'magical girl' since the first movie
By "this" she doesn't mean "ability to sew." This should be interesting.
7748621 I refuse to be insulted like this. You know, I don't have to write exclusively for you, Mythril. Everyone has their own personal styles, and you have no right to rip on mine.
When I first unfollowed you, it was because you stopped writing Thirty Moons. This time, I'm unfollowing you because you took shots at my writing style and have failed to see the main point of fiction. IT. DOESN'T. MATTER.
So on that note, goodbye, MythrilMoth. You are officially blocked.
"Sonata Duck"
Just letting you know. Other than that, seems to be making steady progress so far.
Ugh! The CMC special from three human teenagers... *clutches chest and faints twice* That is way to much cute Shadowmane.
7748265 stop nitpicking. those are minor things that *some* people dont care about. if its a good story, i dont mind a few logic problems.
Yessss, the story advance and develops, i can't wait for the fall formal to come XD.
Applebloom watched Berserk?......nice:D
7752766 I was going for Attack on Titan, but Berserk works just as well...
7752769 Either way, it's awesome:)
Rarity´s inability to remember the Dazzlings´dress, even after mentioning herself the Battle of the Bands is not even funny, but simply implausible. I would rather believe Sweetie Belle used magic on her.
I´m not sure if you will accept the criticism, but maybe you should rework this chapter. Make Rarity pretends to be oblivious rather than amnesiac, for example.
Lol, 'kahuna' is used in Pokémon Sun and Moon
! Seriously, keep it up, good sir
!
Ah she'll be fine, Aria's boots are pretty chunky, lots of ankle and calf support
Good to hear! Sometimes comments can be useful for pointing out weaknesses you hadn't noticed and would want to amend, or to at least try to avoid going forwards (whether it's punctuation, plot, character, or anything else), but if they make you want to stop writing a story then they're best ignored. I figure nobody really has any right to complain about content on here (except for perhaps spoilers and incorrect tags), because it's all free, and you get what you pay for. The only thing a reader invests is the time it takes for them to read a story, which they do so at their own risk that it might be terrible. If any of a story's flaws prevent you from enjoying reading it, then perhaps stop reading it. If not, consider suggesting improvements, or just keep going. But no writer here owes you anything in a story, because they write out of the kindness and creativity of their own heart, and make no money out of it.
Applejack should watch Silver Spoon, the anime.