- Member Since 11th Jul, 2012
- offline last seen Last Sunday
Lucky Seven
Abuse my love a thousand times, However hard I try, Heartbreaker; your time has come, Can't take your evil way ♫♫♫
Lucky Seven
Joined 11th Jul, 2012 ·
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Interesting
I loved it,
maybe you should make a continuation
that was a really nice one shot, and as already mentioned could be the start for an even better sequel ^^
7001131 I wouldn't want the final battle to last for 20 episodes :P
Swagadelic, my friend. You really put the pussy on the chainwax with this one.
So the moral of the story is that Princess Celestia is colorblind?
7001714 Yes of course.
The ending does end on a good cliffhanger, cause this does open for more. But still, it's good as it is! :)
The dialogue is really crisp here: you can hear every word, and every word is believable.
I like it
good work
Honestly, this works so well for Adagio's character, especially in this scenario. She wants to understand friendship, but mostly because she feels it will help her survive. This is understandable, because it is how the others have won against them. It's a logical conclusion. But at the same time, she wants to see what's so special about it, how to get it, and perhaps become part of it with the other two. She just literally has no idea how.
This is a nice look into this character, and I'd honestly love to see the other Dazzlings somewhere in there. Even if just for a bit.
7005686 Thanks! I feel like, too often, stories are plagued by rushed character development (i.e. the Dazzlings understanding what friendship is after like one chapter, or being reformed within a few days). Adagio was a leader first, and nothing else second. All that mattered to her in the movie was taking over the world, which was made obvious by the way she treated her comrades, even referring to them as idiots on one occasion.
And who knows, I may include the other Dazzlings at some point, even if only for one chapter.
Umm... What's the implication here? That it's 'unfair' to convince people not to bully you? That use of guile doesn't count as 'working her way back to the top' (whatever that means here)? That just taking abuse is somehow wholesome? Unless she was referring to magic she no longer has (I think?), there's nothing remotely wrong with using her way with words to get people to not pick on her or the others, and facing needless tribulation makes no sense whatsoever. Am I just reading this wrong?
7399047 "Charms" more meant like how she talked to Sunset to make her doubt herself, or how Sunset used to treat the school. Basically, being a total bitch.
7399051
Hm. I guess it makes sense in the context of if she were to just be the new (old) Sunset Shimmer, but it didn't really come across in the dialogue.
7399053 Ah, I can sort of see that now. I apologize, I'll try to word it better.
7399074
Don't worry about it, might just be me.
I love it
please next
I'm sorry, I hate to back up a criticism, but I must say that I too thought the line about using her charms was an odd one.
Magic I could understand giving her an advantage over others, and thus her reluctance to use it if she's trying to be fair.
But words are weapons available to everyone; I'm not quite sure how using words, bitchy or otherwise, would be unfair, because people could be bitchy right back?
Sorry, it's entirely possible I've missed something and misread the situation.
Also, I like your approach with this as a gradual discovery rather than a switch being flicked and suddenly a villain being good now.
7406079 She wants people to like her again, and you can't do that by insulting them back. She wants to prove she's better than that. I'm editing it now make that more obvious.
This was a nice little gem that I finally got to reading. I really hope you get back into writing this and writing in general.
8098151
Expect more very soon!
9591895
Very soon, eh?