A thousand years of habits. A thousand years of relying on mugging people, of convincing them to give up their cash so they could live the easy life.Just a few bars, and that's all the sirens ever needed.
And in one night, all of it, is gone. They're mortal now, and must obey the rules that mortals do. They have no friends, no experience, and little in the way of safety nets. Even turning to each other for support is something they've never been great at.
But now it's either they figure it all out, or starve in an alley somewhere.
Warning: While the dark or tragedy tag are not here, the beginning of this is probably one of the harshest things I have ever written for one reason. It's realistic, or, it feels that way to me. No magic, no special gifts, no wacky setting. Just three girls, all who have issues with one another, trying to piece their lives back together.
Also, this story is comment driven, so if you want to suggest what the next step to recovery should be, or what you would like to see the three do in general, leave a comment, and it may very well become a reality.
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Well, it was all still a bit vague, and since you didnt really want any magic in it, so
"Siren forces their way out by blackmailing/hurting the Rainblossoms into letting them back to Equestria/regain back their magical amulet via SciTwi's techs"?
7466761 I'm going to say no, at least for the moment. They already were defeated by the Rainbooms, and while they may want revenge, they A)are in such a debilitated state that none of them, even Adagio, could believe in beating them, but also, B)How would they know about the portal? They might have heard about it, but also heard about how it's also seemingly closed, as the news that it was permanently open again would not have been widespread while they were at the school.
So no, going after the Rainbooms, except maybe to just try to hurt them, is not on the table, and none of them are focused after having been so thoroughly crushed.
Well I feel bad for Sonata it's almost like when your parents are talking about you behind your back and as soon as you enter the room they be quiet.
Let's see, Sonata is more or less an innocent child, Aria is her begrudgingly loving older sister, and Adagio is a soulless bitch with little or no redeeming traits. Is that about the gist of this one? If so, you could probably go with the standard thing of the first two (or just Sonata) breaking away from her and no one would likely complain.
If not, if that last line was somewhere between an empty threat and a joke in incredibly poor taste (I inferred that she was beating Sonata, given Aria's anger at her, but I guess it's faintly possible that she meant someone else was periodically beating Sonata up, and that Adagio herself would then dress her wounds says something either way), then I guess it's possible she's not a complete monster this time. In that case, I guess they could try using their good looks (if they still have them?) to find work the way they did in your previous story, then work things out from there.
How about a scene of Aria and Sonata talking about their respective pasts. Aria is the supportive sister in this story. There needs to be an element of compassion for Sonata(At least I would do that personally speaking).
7466993 As a note, and I was worried that the wording might get confused here, it is that Adagio dresses the bruises, while another causes them. Hence why Aria had to leave.
7467005
Oh, it really was someone else!
Unless I'm badly misunderstanding that post, in which case, please disregard this one.
Sorry if I jumped to conclusions there, but pattern recognition does no favors for keeping an open mind. If it is someone else beating up Sonata, I guess they should make a move to do something about that? Maybe we could get some exposition about the situation in the next chapter, whatever they end up doing, and comment-suggest action from there? I mean, unless Aria leaving was to deal with the bruiser herself. Then I just hope she's careful.
7467032 You're right that Aria knows the bruiser, and that it is only one person who does it, but to go deal with it would be rather difficult for her, or for any of them, to do.
7467038
Hm. Well, if there's nothing they can do about that for now, my vote/suggestion/thing is to see if anyone will hire them for their looks (outside of prostitution), if they have no other marketable skills.
Seeing Aria as a waitress, because she has to be nice, you know. But also, they don't even have high school degrees so can they get a job?
7467128 Not everywhere requires it.
It seems Sonata has some insecurities about being a burden to her sisters, so i suggest she take some initiative in getting a job to show herself and the others that she can be helpful.
If the other two, especially Aria, resent Adagio being in command, this seems a perfect opportunity for them to step up to the challenge and take the initiative, so I second the below comment about them needing to go look for jobs.
I would like to see them in another high school, preferably Crystal Prep. I think trying to juggle high school and home life, while being a common story idea, is still a good one. Maybe they can still sing a little?
I really don't want Dagi to be Alpha; even Aria would be better. In RR, you can see a power struggle for one shot, before they enter the cafeteria, but that is never built upon. I think that Dagi would maybe be out of her leage here, as she is lead singer and plotter; the problem is that plotting doesn't always equal planning, at least of the sort I'm thinking of.
But you're the writer, so feel free to build upon or discard these!
7467343 I like them! But include them for later. When making the suggestions (and I may include this in the author's note of the next chapter) try to consider their position. Right now, they're humiliated, and have taken the worst defeat of their lives, except for when they were kicked out of Equestria. Now isn't a time for risks or power struggles, at least so long as nothing major happens to tear them apart.
7467351
They weren't necessarily for next chapter, just things to maybe work towards in future chapters.
Will this story in any way be similar to We Are What We Are?
7467471 I've never read it, but I can promise that this story will have MUCH shorter chapters!
I'm completely confused. Lol. but hey Good luck on future chapters :P
I'm guessing with out there magic there aging normally again? Or is it now possible that without it the sirens can return through the mirror.
7467781 Yes to the first, no to the second, unless they somehow found out that the portal was open.
7467786 I was thinking the gems acted as a anchor to keep them both fed and trapped in the human world. They knew where the portal was but couldn't use it at all. Imagine the anguish...
7467794 A) It was said that they were sent another way, so why would they know where the portal was? It's just a statue normally. More importantly is B)How would they know when it's open?
Never really saw Adagio as the physically abusive type, so that's a bit of a turn-off here. In fact, a number of details seem off here personality wise. ...but, I'm willing to let them slide.
As for a suggestion, how's this?:
Adagio and Aria, stressed like crazy while arguing in front of Sonata, Sonata for once is not blanking out: she realizes it's a hard situation and wants to help, but has no idea how. But then, what they are saying make her realize something that makes Aria and Adagio feel like total idiots. They keep saying about having lost their powers and needing a way to reclaim them or survive long enough to figure out a way to do so. But, the 'lost powers' with 'regaining magic' clicks something in her mind: "How did that Sunset girl get her magic back? Didn't all the high school kids say she became a big demon meanie then lost her powers or somethin'?"
...Adagio and Aria are left staring, only to bitterly laugh and shake their heads, realizing that they've already fallen so far in one night that it's SONATA of all people making sense.
7467956 Okay, first, this comment guaranties what the next chapter is about as NO ONE seems to have understood the language of the line, but besides that, A)Sunset did not have her powers back. She seemingly got them, temporarily, from an object that no longer exists in this universe. And then B) while they did know about what Sunset did, it's not specified how much of the nitty gritty they knew, and it's hard to imagine that they would have interrogated those details out of people.
7467981 True enough on the clarification there.^^
Still though, still don't think that Adagio is the physically abusive type. Emotionally abusive? I could see that, despite the fact that she seems loyal enough to keep helping the other two for so long in spite of how much they annoy her. Seems that emotionally nitpicking on their shortcomings is a form of de-stressing for her, with her only other known de-stresser being whenever a plan succeeds. Other than that, seems that making plans for the group just stresses Adagio the heck out, despite her not believing the other two are good enough to trust them with the plan making.
Or, at least, that's how I view her. This is your fic, in the end.
7467996 Again, wait for the next chapter. You're not the only one that misinterpreted what that line meant.
7468017 Ah. Alright.^^ What's your opinion on the rest of them then?
7468024 The Sirens? Honestly, I don't want to flat out say here, as that could spoil trends within the story and such. Sorry.
7468742 lol Through PM then.^^
Alas, I can't offer comments to guide the story along, but I am curious about what comes from the comments of others.
Wrong characterisation of Adagio. They would't be able to stay together even a year if they behaved like this to each other.
7471855 Depends upon point of view, and interpretation, especially since all three are decently thin from their movie appearances. That, and you may have understood part of the chapter, as a lot of people did.
Well, gonna stick with the part I said in the first chapters as to what to do, BUUUUT this does clarify some things well alright.
I thought this might be the case from the way Aria reacted. It's such a hard thing to confront the worst of yourself but I'm sure these three can manage all right. At this point I would suggest some cathartic activity for Aria such as boxing or demolition while Sonata tries to get a job to prove she isn't a complete failure. i'm not entirely sure about Adagio yet since we haven't seen from her perspective yet. Awesome work and looking forward to more.
So it was Aria all along?!
The way the last few chapters went, I genuinely didn't see that coming, well-played, sir!
I'm guessing anger-management is out of their reach right now, so I'll stick with my previous suggestion.
I think we should get a chapter in Adagio's point of view, the other two have ways of proving themselves, but no one knows what to do with Adagio, that's just my opinion
It really sounds like Aria and Adagio are just too frustrated by the events in there lives. And they take it out on Sonata. I wonder if Sonata ever ran away or does she have a happy place to retreat too?
I was trolling Fimfiction tonight, but not really expecting anything. This one caught me off guard.
I kinda like the characterization. Sonata feels perfect. Aria too, even if I never figured out what made her tick. Adagio is properly scheming, but feels a little too vicious.
I'll have to check out the next chapter.
Noticed a misspelled word.
I'm curious if there's an overarching plot.
Adagio and Aria have what they need to survive and take care of themselves. Except stability. Or a way to calm down. Etc.
Sonata is indeed the child, and she needs them more than ever. They need her too, though only Aria realized this.
Are they still planning on trying to return to Equestria? Or making a life here?
7490958 Make a life here. They maybe know about the portal, but they have no reason to look at it as a way to return, especially since there's no guaranty as to whether or not they'll be able to have their magic back if they go back.
One of them is going to have to say this: "Things are different now. We weren't just beaten at CHS, we were destroyed. We've lost our power and most of the abilities that we depended upon to survive. We mustn't think about rebuilding and our next try; we need to think about how we're going to survive now we've been kicked to the bottom and the ladder has been burned away. We need to decide how we're going to avoid this being the prelude to our deaths."
I've got the feeling that Adagio may already be thinking the unthinkable.
It seems that the defeat of the Dazzlings has had an unexpected consequence - The dark magic that has surrounded them for so long is gone and with it, their ability to ignore the outraged screaming of their consciences. Who knows whether they have the mental strength to avoid being driven mad by all those centuries of guilt?