• Member Since 31st May, 2013
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Hakuno


Sunxie FTW! And also Twily


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The sirens, defeated and powerless, find their only goal in life crushed. And now, stuck in the human world for the rest of their eternal lives, not only must they endure the burden of their punishment, but also bear with the remorse of their misdeeds and the fear of the future.

Will they be able to stick together like they've been until now, or will the torment of their past destroy thousands of years of partnership? Only time will tell. But what is time for immortal creatures, exactly?

Edition by: 0_0

FEATURED 04-04-15 Thank you so much!

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 31 )

Can I translate this wonderful fiction to my language, please?

5443948 What is your language? If it's Spanish I'd be glad to help with some tricky terms. If not, then go ahead! Just send a link over here.

And thanks for reading ^^ I hope you enjoy what'll come next.

Comment posted by happyowl deleted Dec 31st, 2014

5444004 Russian is my language. Link: http://stories.everypony.ru/ There are many fictions from FimFiction. I'd be happy to read second chapter. It's my favorite genre :)

Thank god this isn't another "OMG guys the dazzlings aren't actually evil" shitfic. I'll take what scraps I can at this point.

We only have oaths left.

"Oh! I love oaths!"

Me too! With a side of promise and a helping of sworn devotion! :rainbowwild:
'oats' is what you're thinking of, methinks.

Chicken was right, this is something that breaks from the pack. You could do with having an editor's pass at it, though, it's got some weird phrasing at times and some small typos like the one above. Nothing too major, just could use a polishing. :twilightsmile:

5445320 Thanks ^^ I do believe that the sirens are pretty much like Discord in the regard that not even the Elements turned him good, because he wasn't good in the first place. The only reason he changed was because he found somepony he cared for (that somepony being a good pony). I mean, they did try to cast another spell at the end of the movie!

And yes, since English isn't my native language, I have some serious mistakes like the one you pointed out, and do believe me when I say I tried getting editors, but people either abandon me or ignore me =/ I'll keep trying though, but until then, self-editions are in order!

Have a nice day and a happy new year! ^^

5446030
There's a few groups on the site dedicated to helping authors find editors/pre-readers. I'm sure some of them work fine, most of them are still active. I'd personally offer my services, but I've got a rather full plate as of now. Perhaps once my projects quell to one instead of the five I've got underway..:trixieshiftleft:

Loving this so far, and was glad to see the "Incomplete" tag. Having done a character study from Adagio's point of view myself (but a few months farther in the future), I'm liking your take on her development right from the stage and onward.

I really like these siren back stories. My only quibble is that according to this one they are still immortal. In the movie Twilight said they were now just "harmless teenage girls," which I assumes means they are now mortal.

You know, for a formerly immortal/long lived being, suddenly being turned mortal would be a terrifying experience.

The story is great so far and I especially love their backstory! Looking forward to a new chapter and I have 1 critique- please capitalize the titles its just one of my pet peeves.

Interesante... :trixieshiftright:
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5449550
Would it though? I mean, with a lifespan of hundreds or thousands of years the only real constant would be change (and in the case of our three favorite villains, one another). Death would be something that one would become intimately familiar with, even if it weren't your own. I always think of Connor MacLeod from Highlander who was angry that he'd been denied the chance to grow old and die, or in a slightly more unusual situation, Data from Star Trek, who once said that the knowledge that he would one day cease to function added a sense of completeness to his life... that he could now look forward to death.

... Uh... rambling again... nevermind, :twilightoops:

Interesting view of Sonata´s mentality. Yeah, she is the most innocent of the Sirens, but innocent doesn´t mean good. Her dialogue with Steel Shield is kinda creepy indeed.
Also, this is the first time I see a fic where the sirens actually exploited their immortality and mind control magic throught the ages to gain wealth and mundane power while keeping their secrecy... like vampies and other immortals do in fiction. Well done.

5823692
Agreed; this is probably the most accurate depiction of Sonata's inner workings out of all the siren fics I've read so far. You don't have to be evil to be cruel.

It's just like the man said: 'there is nothing in the world more innocent and cruel than a child'.

Are Rainbooms stupid? Sunset should know better than to trust predators.

5823692
5824930

Yeah, I wanted to give Sonata a blue and orange morality. I've read many fics in which she's the "good one" or the "actually was never bad one" or the "still the comedic relief one", whilst Adagio either breaks down and looks pathetic or serves as comedic relief, and Aria never really has a good development (save for a certain one that inspired this fic, actually).

And I thought that if I was immortal too, even with crazy powers, I'd try to save wealth "just in case", so that's why I wanted the sirens to do the same.

5825501

Giant tarantulas keep tiny frogs as pets.

The tarantula could eat the frog, yes, but then who will protect the nest when they're eating something tastier?

Glad to see this story still updating. Sad to see it hasn't made a bigger impact, as it is a brilliant take on the Dazzlings.

5833835

I dig this take, yeah. Will be interesting to see if the hanging-out process actually does end up subtly bringing the 3 around to understanding 'friendship' - and I'm all for savvy investment-conscious Adagio. Thinking she could be any sort of destitute after centuries of her mindset just doesn't add up in my mind.

Looking forward to more.

This is going very well so far; I really love your take on the Sirens, past and present. Keep up the good work!

hellonwheels.com.au/bmxshop/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/alive.jpg

Not only that, but it's complete! :pinkiehappy:

I feel a little bad admitting it, but Imma have to re-read the whole thing to make sure I remember what was going on before I finish up, :applejackconfused:

Lovely story, and that was the perfect ending.

Manly tears were shed this day...
i.imgur.com/l5fFu.gif

Well done, Hakuno, :fluttercry:

I do feel like the scene where the Sirens wake up in Twilight's castle and realize they're dying could have been stronger. Their plan was always to make it back to Equestria and then find a way to restore their cores, but they rather quickly changed their minds after they felt... whatever it was they felt when they came through the portal. I think a slightly longer scene and a little more emotional weight as they struggled with the realization might've helped really sell their plight.

Also...

"Hm I know this might sound invasive, but… How are sirens born, exactly?"

"Every thousand years, a dragon, a pony and a shark have a wild sex night,"

This line killed me, :rainbowlaugh:

6553525 Thank you for reading! I'll definitely take your advice for future fics!

This was sad, brought me in tears. Thanks for such an amazing read.

Sad.
Sequel would be good.
I don't think elements work like that. They would ensure taht they woudl stay alive even in Equestria.

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