• Member Since 10th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen May 21st, 2021

Michael Hudson


Original Works. It was a good run.

E

It was supposed to just be a simple prank. She never meant for anyone to get hurt. Now she must face her crime. At least Diamond Tiara has her journal and best friend to help her handle lowering herself like this.

Preread by ThatOneWriter.

Spoilers in the comments.

Accepted into Nonpareil Fiction!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 49 )

But why did the homeless ponies hate her?

4928349 It went from a friend of a friend to now their friend is in trouble to protect her image from this person. Trying to be vague to avoid spoilers.

Hmm... Kinda sad, but way too short. Also, 4928349. Why? Why do they hate her?

4928380 I blame length on this being my first time ever using this format. Sorry. :twilightsmile:

4928422 Oh, don't be sorry! It's a very interesting way to write a story, and for your first time doing it, it was good! I just felt as if it could have gone a bit deeper.

How is this in a alternative universe?

It's too good to be fake

4928491 Actually, originally, I wasn't going to make this AU. However, selling the end point with canon can be done, but I think i would have been questioned on it.

4928442

Well, if you're looking for something longer, you could always reading Cubic Zirconia. Aside from the cover art, there are several points of similarity, and I'm up to 13 chapters and still working on it...


--arcum42

4928559 I swear I did not mean to steal anything from it. In fact, I haven't even read it. :twilightblush: I did get the cover art from it though. Sorry.

I know why she did it. She is clutching a small pink doll I gave her two years ago. The doll is me, and on it she has scribbled “my sister”. I know how I would’ve reacted though. If I had seen her house, seen how pathetic she was, she would have lost me.

img2.blog.zdn.vn/46157071.jpg

That story was pretty sweet. The final entry felt weird, did she grab Dia's journal and write in it while she was sleeping? That looks like something she'd have trouble reaching out for.

How I thought this would end:
im38.gulfup.com/EYYJg.gif?width=540

Great read. Would of loved to read more entries.

4928380 So many behind the scenes possibilities. Like DT being oblivious to Silver Spoon's condition. Likely being told by Silver she could never reveal her identity or she'd lose her... *sniff* lose her... l-lose her sister!

*sobs*

But yeah, so wish this story was longer! :raritydespair:

4928568

The coverart is a straight screenshot from Ponyville Confidential, and not even one I took. It's from the wiki image gallery for the episode. I've hardly got a claim on it. I've thought a few times about coming up with something more unique, in fact.

It just caught my eye because of the cover and the premise of a prank from Diamond Tiara having very bad consequences. They go in different directions though, even though there are at least two homeless ponies in it.

Don't worry too much about it. I do think people who liked yours might be interested in mine, though.

--arcum42

Edit: I did actually modify my cover art after this. I'd already been thinking about it, and the new art looks better, so no big deal there.

I started crying when I read Day 8.

...Sniffle.

Very good. Very touching. In its own weird way....


You need to write more like these 'journals'....You put the voice of your characters very well into it, making it unique, and I would LOVE to see you do more.

Please?? :D

Write on!
~A.S

4928631 Maybe. This was a lot of fun to do, but it was also kinda tough. Also, the setting was a big part of it to me. I am thinking about it though, I just don't know what idea to use it for.

Beautiful. Unquestionably, unutterably beautiful. The growth of Diamond, the revelation, the richness of a world glimpsed through the tiny window of a journal, wonderful.

The ending was... not what I thought, in the sense of the relationship. But I take what I can get.

Absolutely spectacular story. It is easy to understand why it is so well liked. Keep up the good work. One question though, why is Silver Spoon sleeping in a box? In day 14, it mentions her getting kicked out. Why did her family kick her out?

Personal tip: Make sure Silver is with you for pranks.

Also, you have somepony to foist the blame on when something goes wrong.

Nothing changes you quite like almost losing the most valuable thing in your life, and realizing how little you really appreciated it before. Nice story.

Doesnt need the Tragedy tag. Is misleading and could cause you to miss readers who don't like tragedy.

This was an incredibly heartwarming story :twilightsmile:

I liked the premise of a prank gone wrong, something I had not yet read on Fimfic before now; though to be fair I don't have as much time to do as much reading as I would like. The twist at the end was very touching, and I always love it when there's a fanfic that gives some redemption to Diamond Tiara, and I also like fics that don't paint Silver Spoon as inherently bad. In my headcanon, she's only that way because she hangs out with Diamond Tiara, and vice-versa as Diamond Tiara gets encouragement from Silver Spoon liking her. As the saying goes -- 'peer pressure'.

I'm a little puzzles as to why the homeless began to despise Diamond, but I think I get the gist of it. It's such a nice thing to see someone like Diamond turn around for the better. And if there's hope for people like Discord and for ponies like Diamond Tiara, then I believe there is hope for anyone. :raritystarry:

Lastly I love the diary entry format used. It's a nice change from the first, second and third person "norm" used for about 99% of the stories on Fimfic. Well done, in my opinion. :moustache:

4930780 Please. Spoilers tags. I mean, please?

4930879 Oh crap, you are absolutely right. Need to change description now to have a warning.

4930883 I really did enjoy the story, I mean we usually see Silver Spoon in the same spot as Dt, in more ways than others. This story subverts some of those notions, and it benefits from it. I will say, while the Twist (ha, pony), may have surprised quite a lot of you, I was able to guess it halfway through. Those small hints, like the suggestion Silver made, her objection to that particular house, the shitfing of opinions of those ponies in regards to Diamond. It was clear where the story was headed.

Despite that, and despite my guess being right, I still enjoyed it. The fact that Silver is homeless adds that tinge of uniqueness, and it makes her reliance on Diamond all that much more poignant. The fact that she is still filled with pride, even going as far as risking her life in order to keep the truth away.....Silver doesn't get many characterization, but I could see her doing that.

The journal format, does. in fact, help. Whenever I try to write a journal story, I always face the same stumble, should I go on adding day after day? should I skip at random points?

Your approach made sense. And I applaud you on it.

Uh, something doesn't add up here.

Why would Silver Spoon suggest the Soup Kitchen...And then suddenly start starving herself by not going to it?

4930959 She done goofed. She is still a filly, and she knew DT would enjoy working there more then anywhere else in probability. Spoke without thinking I suppose.

I didn't find it sad, but it was enjoyable.

Well shit, that was amazing.

Wow, I came to laugh but I left with feels,
damn.

Aaaaaw... That was nice. Right in the feels, but with a nice payoff that leaves you with a warm feeling and even faith in humanity.

Okay, I think I went too far with the last part, I'm not sure. But either way, it's still a great story.

4930879

Oh~ um, okay, sure. :twilightsheepish: I don't see it as a button usable on the Comment buttons, so, how do I use spoiler tags? Like the blackout bar like you used? Thanks~ :twilightsmile:

But I would like to add my two bits about what the point would be. The comments section is supposed to be feedback for the Author as well as people who want to talk about the story, so, in my mind at least, anyone who is reading the comments has -- or at leas, should have -- read the story/chapter already. The way I see it, if people don't want spoilers, don't read the comments before the story.

Not trying to argue, I'm just adding my opinion~ :twilightsheepish: Though I will use it from now on, once I know how. Thank you~ :twilightsmile:

4934675 Well yeah, and I had already read the story, still there are some people who read the comments to check if there's something they won't like, before reading, because people complain on the comments.

Anyway, to make a spoiler tag you go straight [Spoiler ] The spoiler and then you close it with [/spoiler ]

you can't have anything spaces between the tags though, neither in the beginning or the end.

like this I like trains

4934709 *nod* Fair enough~ and thank you.

Testing floaty black bar!

Yay it works! :pinkiehappy:

manly tears were shed, this is a good story

4930959
Because Dia wouldn't want to be seen with some homeless girl as a friend. She's a princess! She's too good for that!

Of course, in the end, when stuff like that hits close to home...people change.

So cute. So sad.

And also how would Sweetie Belle be that badly injured if she was just hit with a bucket full of water (or something else; who knows what they put in that bucket for sure...!)? I've ran into a horizontal pole at FULL SPEED, face first, so that my back was bent to a 45 degree angle and the back of my head was halfway to my shoulder blades. And I just shook my head a couple times and just kept running.:applejackunsure::applejackunsure:

It's alright for a sadfic. It's rare to see ones where Silver is the homeless orphan and not a certain orange chicken. You have Diamond Tiara ready to smack a bitch, and then saying "I can't blame her." It might have been better if DT expressed how bad it made her feel, not exonerate her perceived tormentor. Just because you calmed down doesn't mean you think you had no reason to be angry. You probably shouldn't say "sleeping in the cold" because that really conveys that Silver's homeless, even though the intent was to make it seem like she was just upset at having to pile extra blankets on her luxurious poster bed. Something like "She said the chill was bothering her last night" or "She said the cold this winter is making it hard to sleep," maybe that is a bit more ambiguous. Other stuff too, you forgot to mention DT is banned from sleepovers due to the grounding, thus explaining why Silver is stuck outside at night. You also shouldn't have Silver be the one to recommend DT volunteer at the soup kitchen, because she wouldn't do that if she didn't want DT to find out she's homeless, since she needs that soup kitchen to survive. Saying "the page became soaked with tears" is trying too hard. Something more subtle like "The ink kept running" or "I ruined the paper because I was so upset" or something.

Personal tip: Keep smiling. You are beautiful and good, no matter what happens. Don’t let anypony else make you think otherwise.

that's a good philosophy actually. I would hardly expect Diamond Tiara to have pearls of wisdom to offer :pinkiehappy:

Comment posted by ServingSpoon deleted Oct 20th, 2014

Personal Tip: Pay attention to your friends. Care for them, before you lose them.

thank God for the last paragraph. I was just begining to worry this might be one of those tragedies and Silver might die!

I had a feeling that some bits of Diamond's journal are foreshadowing, but I haven't seen that coming... (frankly, after the first entry I expected Sweetie to die :facehoof:)

Came here looking for some laughs and funny comments but left here with feels..... WHAT THE ACTUAL FU CK?!:rainbowderp:

And... how exactly does a minor stay homeless while attending school?

Given the age of ponies in question, it`s very unlikely to happen. Ponyville is a small burg, everyone knows everyone. Silver Spoon being homeless would be very quickly amended to Silver Spoon being in orphanage. So that leaves us with inexplicable idea of Silver Spoon being somehow chucked out of home within the month of situation in story, at most. That in itself has only one possibility - family kicking her out and being quiet about it. Skipping the glaring question of "why would a filly suddenly get disowned", we are left pondering how could it have possibly happened that Diamond Tiara is not the first pony to learn that Silver Spoon is kicked out of home. When in trouble, we turn to friends first, and I fail to see how Silver Spoon would be an exclusion to that rule.

In short, the story has a glaring logical hole that destroys all credibility and ruins any impression it might have had made.

Have a thumbs down.

Umm... I think something went wrong, most of the story is crossed out right now.

8784856 And fixed. I have no idea why most of it was crossed out.

8785296
No problem, I really love this story, it's on my 10/10 bookshelf for a reason.

Login or register to comment