• Member Since 19th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen February 20th

arcum42


Admin for various groups, occasional vectorer of screenshots, and writes stories like Cubic Zirconia, among other things.

T
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Diamond Tiara has always enjoyed picking on the Cutie Mark Crusaders. But one day, she finds she's gone too far, and everything for her comes tumbling down. But help may come from the most unexpected of places...

Started before season four, and does not take season four canon into account.

This story is 100% Diamond Cutters Approved!
Note: If reading this inspires you to write your own Diamond Tiara fanfics with similar premises, send me a link, as I'd love to see them. :twilightsmile:

Chapters (19)
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Comments ( 1120 )

Jeez, what in the hell is the Crusadermobile made of? Lead? We've seen those three survive (with barely a scratch) huge falls from ziplines, doors slammed against their faces and entire floats coming off cliffs and apparently it's heavy enough to break the one that's MOST indestructible.

I don't think the lightweight tin of most wagons would do that.

Anyway, a pretty good start (Filthy acting so quickly on his anger seems a touch forced) and there's a lot of ways you could be going with it, so I look forward to more.

2499257

You know, in my mind, her legs were actually between the wagon and a large rock, but I revised that scene a good dozen times, and that detail must not have made it through. That was one of the spots I was worried about, though.

And actually, well, we'll hear more about Filthy Rich later on...

Terribile situzione.

Temo che Tiara finirà sotto terra

In my opinion Filthy Rich probably acted on his anger like that due to the fact that he was trying to save the relationship with Sweet Apple Acres, and was also really pissed off.

Filthy Rich being pissed and disappointed at Diamond Tiara for her behavior I can see, especially since her picking on Apple Bloom can come to negatively effect hie business ties with the Apples should they after this latest escapade decide they want little to due with the Riches.


For him to completely disown his own daughter and throw her out on the street however, reeks of disproportionate retribution and frankly sounds out of character for Mr. Rich even given the little of his character we've seen in the show.

2502811
Of course, that's no excuse for what he's done.

In fact, I'm not sure the Apples will appreciate this very much. Think about it: They're all about family. Now Diamond did something horrible, and it's clear something has to change- and what does her father do?

He throws her out. Abandons her.

For one thing, he's choosing to ignore the problem instead of trying to fix it. Literally ignoring it; claiming he has nothing more to do with her, and by extension, the mess she's made. One could call this cowardice, and that's putting it mildly.

Furthermore, he just threw out his own daughter! How is he going to sell this to Applejack? To Granny Smith? Does he honestly believe they'd have any interest in making business with a man who casts out his own children? Even worse, if indeed the Apples choose to cut their ties with Filthy Rich due to his own behaviour, he'd probably claim that that's Diamond Tiara's fault, too.

What she did was horrible, but what he did was disgusting, pure and simple.

...wow. I wasn't expecting that.

I do feel that disowning and then throwing out one's daughter is an enormous overreaction, but this is clearly a Filthy Rich who's accustomed to making hard, fast calls. (Although I'm suspecting it might be a ploy). Anyway, this is a great start and I can't wait for more! I'm finding this strangely oblivious Diamond Tiara quite interesting.

The one comment I have about Diamond Tiara is that not caring about her father's business is out of character. She was the only pony listening attentively as he discussed Barnyard Bargain's business strategy in Family Appreciation Day.

2502933 I'm not saying what he did was smart, or acceptable. I'm just saying that's probably why he did it.

2503427
Oh yes, quite- I didn't think that's what you were doing either! I should have made that clear in my initial post; mea culpa.

I'm really hoping that Filthy is doing this to throw a huge scare into her, most likely in conjunction with the Apples, so that she'll learn a necessary lesson quickly and deeply.

Still, scarring a child's psyche like that is … wow.

About time somepony did something about that useless brat. Thank you, sir.

Though maybe he should have just carted her off to the nearest orphanage.

Hmmm, a lot of responses to this.

Well, I know wanting to work on this is one of the things that's been delaying the next chapter of Just Winging It.

I actually find this a really interesting scenario. Generally people either have lots of horrible things happen to DT and SS with no consequences, or they redeem Silver Spoon and leave Diamond Tiara behind. I'm trying something a bit different.

I'm not sure how well I'll pull it off, but we'll see what happens. I'm actually finding writing her inner dialog fascinating for this. Though keeping her in character is difficult.

Incidentally, those of you that remember that my birthday was a few weeks ago, I took a few days off around my birthday, and on one of them, I wrote the first 2 drafts of the first 3 chapters of this. I'm actually very happy with one of the paragraphs in the second chapter...

2500101

Afraid I only speak english, but, yes it's a terrible situation. I can, however, assure you that if I intended Diamond Tiara not to survive, I would have put a Tragedy tag on this fanfic. Not that I didn't come close to doing that anyways...

2502811
Seems a fair analysis, though I might add 'not thinking properly' to that.

2502901

Not to mention he'd been acting odd lately. She'd noticed him just staring off into the distance a few times, not paying attention to anything around him. And he did seem to be getting upset more easily, though not like this.

I suppose he could be acting out of character...

2502933
Oh, certainly the Apples would be horrified if they found out. Any decent pony would.

Not to mention that there are other ways he could have gone about things if he felt he couldn't handle her any more. Send her off to boarding school far from Ponyville. Have her live with relatives.(At least one's been mentioned, right?) Even drop her off at an orphanage, though I think he'd have to go out of town for that.

Just kicking her out on the street, at her age, is criminal.

2503033
Thanks!

Incidentally, I do plan on adding this to the Apple Bloom group at some point, but I'm waiting until she's out of the hospital. And, yes, Twist will probably have a minor walk-on role.

2503073
Good point. Though, for what was shown on the screen, she could easily have just been thinking "Yes, my daddies awesome and owns you all. Bow to me." and not have actually been paying that much attention.

2503458
Would the Apples go along with that?

But, yeah, by this point in the fanfic, she needs years of therapy, and it's only just started.

In fact, she really needs a hug about now. Where's SweetAI Belle when you need her?

L4

... *mindblown* Oh my god...

the most original story ever. Can't wait for more!!

Okay, I'm grinning wider than a cat now, Fav'd. :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

This may the point where Diamond decides that there is nothing she can do to redeem herself so she decides just go full tilt into doing bad things thinking that if nopony would like her no matter what she does at this point why bother following any rules at all.

That scene at the end was harsh, I almost expect Princess Celestia to also come in declaring that Diamond be banished for her "Crimes Against Harmony".

2505253
I think there are other Diamond Tiara redemption stories out there.

2506942
Heh, thanks. Almost makes me feel guilty that I'll be bringing in one of the more unoriginal things ever soon.

2514544
Thanks!

2520022
You know, there are so many ways I could go from this start it's ridiculous. I almost hope other people start writing homeless!Diamond Tiara fics, so I could read them.

And, yes, it was harsh. I've now got a traumatized main character to deal with. Though keep in mind, the main one acting out of proportion here is Filthy Rich. If Princess Celestia came down, Diamond would actually have an easier time of it, since she'd make sure that Diamond Tiara was placed with a new family.

But nothing about the situation really warrants her attention at the moment.

2521315
A few, yes. They just generally aren't that common, and I'm not sure I've seen homeless!Diamond Tiara before, though I've seen her living on Sweet Apple Acres both permanently and temporarily in the past.

Clean Slate and My Worst Enemy come to mind, and both are really good...

Great, Diamond just had to wake up Scootaloo. Now she's going to have to live with Twilight. And I think I now what paragraph you were talking about and I think that before she gets herself out of this she has to figure out what her cutie mark REALLY means.

Here comes Scootaloo to show Diamond Tiara the ropes of being homeless? First lesson--getting beaten up for trespassing on someone else's turf. Second lesson--getting stuff chucked at you and shouted at to get the hell out of there. No wait, she already had her first lesson, getting the cold shoulder everywhere you go, because no one wants to deal with you.

This is definitely going to be interesting. Most redemption fics seem to be about someone being unexpectedly nice to a jerk character (although that's probably still going to happen to some degree here), so it'll be a different take to see one that takes the path of putting the character through tons of crap and seeing how they stand when it's all done. Assuming this is a redemption story, of course.

And I couldn't help but notice that one line toward the end of the first chapter, when Diamond Tiara is pleading with the butler guy. No, Diamond, you've know him your whole life, not the other way around. A subtle little example of how little she thinks of anyone else's perspectives about anything.

There's an odd thing about the timing of this fic, though. I just recently read the first two chapters of Why Am I Crying? which is pretty much the reverse of this story. In that one, Diamond Tiara is killed by a runaway cart, and the CMC are dealing with the rather confusing set of emotions that result. Even had me vaguely thinking of her as being dead outside the realm of that one story for a few days. Couldn't help but think of the similarities and differences anyway, even though that doesn't really have much to do with this one.

And you know, there's a strange sort of mixed feelings about following multiple fics by the same person. On the one hand, it's additional interesting story to read, but on the other, there's a mild feeling that progress on one means less on the other. Well, I'll just think of it as double the chances of getting an update, I suppose.

2540027

While it'd be interesting to try to maintain that that might not be Scootaloo... well, there've been too many homeless!Scootaloo stories. Who else would it be?

And you could say that. Though I don't really see Scootaloo as going around beating other ponies up. Trouble is, unlike Diamond Tiara, she is a nice pony under it all. Of course, right now, she's a sleepy, angry pony on her home turf. And Diamond Tiara is a little filly out way past her bedtime who has just had a very rough day...

The next chapter's on the third rewrite, and will probably go through at least one or two more before I post it, btw, because it's a tricky one to get right. The beginning, middle, and end are great. Getting the bits in between right, though...

Yes, there will be some ponies being unexpectedly nice in here. I have to balance out the nastiness somehow. And Diamond Tiara's not going to be the same pony at the end if all goes as planned, so I suppose this would be a redemption fic in that respect.

Part of the fun of this is actually going to be trying to turn the way she thinks around. Trying to think like her can be a bit disturbing at times, actually. Yes, Diamond, it isn't fair that you are being blamed for something you did. Sure.

Good catch with the butler. I like his character, actually. He knows Diamond is a selfish brat, and he has a bit of a soft spot for her regardless. But he's utterly loyal, he's old, can't really go looking for another job, and lives on the estate. And he wouldn't want another job, anyways. Being a butler is his special talent.

And I wouldn't be surprised if Why Am I Crying? had influenced me, since I love that story. Of course, Clean Slate and My Worst Enemy are direct influences, too.

This is really good! I'm loving this Diamond Tiara. She seems so innocent somehow that I want everything to be okay for her in spite of what she's done!

2553791

Oh, I feel for Diamond Tiara too, at least this version of her. Of course, I'm the one putting her through all this, but that's a writers lot.

Thing is, it isn't that she's necessarily a bad filly at the core. Self-centered, acting out, spoiled, yes, but most of that is a product of her upbringing. Unfortunately, this is the sort of thing that can happen when you leave most of your daughters care to your staff. It is one of these cases where you sort of want to hug and throttle her at the same time.

Oddly enough, the character I'm having the most trouble writing for chapter 3 is Scootaloo. Which is strange for someone whose other fanfic has her as the main character. Maybe it's because it's a weird situation, and she isn't the viewpoint character this time. I'm up to the fourth draft, and may end up with 5 or 6.

2528712

Think you've got it. And she'll certainly need to give some thought to her cutie mark. She's in the right place for that right now, though. :scootangel::

And yes, I had to put a sleepy, pissed off Scootaloo in the clubhouse. I shouldn't laugh when putting my characters through these things. I really shouldn't. :pinkiehappy:

Interesting. I'm slightly surprised Scootaloo would be the accommodating type but it works.

Really liking this so far.

I do not know if I like this story line or not but I will keep tabs on it. Maybe I'll be able to figure whether I do or not later

Okay, so I wasn't actually expecting Scootaloo to beat Tiara up, so I'm not really surprised she decided to be reluctantly nice. That "Now quit your crying so I can go back to yelling at you" line was pretty funny, though, along with the bit about her crying not being fair. That's how you know your yelling is working, Scoots!

Hmm, I wonder what's going to happen the next time Tiara encounters, well, lots of different ponies, actually. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if practically their whole class hates her now, especially since she's not likely to tell any of them about her punishment. The CMC might the only ponies she can turn to for a little while, ironically enough. At least Sweetie Belle is, well, a sweetie, so she'll probably be nice too. Not sure about Bloom, though.

2570207

I mentioned going through no less than four drafts of this chapter? Both the lines you mentioned stayed the same through all four drafts, with maybe some minor polish along the way. The whole breakdown and awkward hugging scene is one I knew was a keeper.

In fact, the area that underwent the most changes was the discussion afterwards. Scootaloo was acting far too nice in early drafts, even talking all about her backstory(Which changed since I cut it, anyways). I was trying to get a good balance between nice and pissed off. Though I miss some of the bits I cut.

Obviously, Scoots hasn't actually reduced her opponent to tears before. Though she didn't really this time either. Diamond probably would have broken down next time she had a chance to actually think about things anyways.

There is the question of how many of her classmates know what happened, but Apple Bloom's absence will be rather noticeable, and word spreads quickly about these things. While Diamond would probably be in a lot better position if she did tell a few other ponies about her punishment, she isn't very likely to. So, that leaves the CMC knowing, and Silver Spoon having a bit of an idea.

Sweetie Belle's reaction should be next chapter. Generally kids with a broken leg are kept under observation for a few days, so I'm figuring Apple Bloom will be back in the story come the weekend, and we can find out what she thinks of the whole situation then. And poor Scoots gets stuck with showing Diamond how you get by when you don't have anypony taking care of you...

2568860

Eh, Scootaloo may be upset, but she's good at heart. She wasn't going to make Diamond go find a bush or something to sleep in for the night. Of course, that doesn't mean she's happy with her, or that they are friends.

Glad you're enjoying the fanfic so far, though.

2568874

Hope you end up liking it.I realise this is one that isn't likely to please everyone...

Scootaloo was way nicer than I expected. Also, this is awesome.

2572072

I was worried about making her too nice, actually. I toned down how nice she was and made her considerably more hostile between drafts. There was an element of reminding myself that just because I know backstory for her doesn't mean she's going to go around telling everypony about it, for example.

After I cut her angsty backstory from the dialogue, I decided to change it to a different angsty backstory I liked better. :twilightblush:

Also, Diamond Tiara was due for a break. You have to have good things happen to a character periodically, or all the bad stuff happening to them will lose its impact. :scootangel:

Glad you like it, in any case. And Diamond Tiara's making progress. She actually thought about somepony elses situation for once in her life. Doubt it'll last...

I realize I'm late, but are you even still working on this? It's been an awful long wait for the next update. Honestly, I love the idea, and this is shaping up to be a really great story, as it has already. Keep up the good work, I'll be waiting!

2617731

Um, yes, I am still working on it?

I published this fanfic on Apr. 29th, and the last chapter was May 12th, with another one in between there. The first two chapter dates are just messed up due to being from rough drafts.

So it's been about a week and a half, which isn't too bad. My other story, Just Winging It, hasn't been updated since May 4th, so I'm concentrating on a new chapter for that. As it happens, I'm about done with the first draft for that chapter, and then plan to do a more polished draft. I'm likely to release a new chapter on that fanfic this weekend, since it's a long weekend.

At that point, I'll be concentrating on the next chapter for Cubic Zirconia. I'm actually about 1k into the current draft for that chapter, though, and I have a 3k earlier draft, though I'm reworking things a lot from that.

Figure it won't be too uncommon to have a few weeks between updates. And last weekend really sucked as far as writing goes. I actually have a fairly good mental plan of where things are going on this, though. :scootangel::unsuresweetie::applecry:

Anyways, glad you like the story so far.

It's a good opening, I'll say that much. The only real remark I have to it is that I had to look up what size the wagon is compared to the fillies. For some reason, I pictured it smaller and lighter than what it most likely is.

DT's punishment sounds about right in character, but as an outside observer it still looks harsh. The whole situation is painful, and doubly so because there's no obvious way to make things right. Whatever punishment is given is either going to be seen as disproportionate (like here) or nowhere near enough (as we see on the show most frequently).

Little remark, too: when the tiara gets smashed, you have a double 'just', with no dash to imply stuttering or collecting of words.

Oh, this just keeps getting better and better. The butler is an excellent example of a rule-bound guardian with a good heart: not breaking the rules but not above finding loopholes when needed. The residence problem will need to addressed, too, I hope.

Also, I'm not sure if Apple Bloom really will suffer permanent damage from this. We know Rainbow Dash didn't get any slower after she broke her wing, we know the world has magic (including one zebra who can induce the growth of teeth), so... I'd accept that she'll have some lingering pain for a long time or the rest of her life, but a full-on handicap? This would stretch my suspension of disbelief if no cures are addressed (main reason I used Eagle's Grasp and not asthma in my own work, for instance).

Two things kind of bother me about this chapter:
1) Scootaloo sounds too old in places. There are a few lines that are just golden (you know which one, don't pretend you don't), but when she talks about her 'turf', it sounds way too formal and adult. Unless she had the exact same speech from a grownup and is mimicking that, her dialogue needs to be toned down and simplified. Everything she says is good, but the way it's worded can use help.

2) Orphanloo, or the hint thereat. I rank Orphanloo on the list of "Banes of my Existence" somewhere in between 'procrastination' and 'Powerpoint presentations'. There had better be a reason Scootaloo is not being taken care of by a responsible adult, be it her blood relative or a designated guardian. And it had better be a good one :flutterrage:.

2632022
Yeah, it is a very difficult situation, especially since I have a fairly naive Diamond Tiara for this story. Actually, Silver Spoon's parents seemed to have a better handle on punishments in this case...

And I fixed the double "just".

2632058
Thank you for mentioning Grey. I enjoy his character for exactly the reasons you mentioned.

As far as Apple Bloom goes, keep in mind that we've heard from Filthy Rich and Scootaloo about the extent of her injuries, not a doctor. And I'm tending to think of Zecora's cures as not everyday things. Of course, Apple Bloom will think of it.

I'm tending to go with a few days of hospitalization, than 6-8 weeks in a wheelchair, and an assessment from there.

2632088
Remember me saying in a pm at one point that this fanfic was going to invoke a cliche you didn't like? This chapter is it.

I had so many issues writing Scootaloo in this chapter, and some of it was dialogue. It was even more adult in a previous version. And she was too nice before that. The section about turf actually did feel to me like she was quoting what someone had said to her at some point, though.

And, yes, I know Orphanloo is unrealistic, and a bane on existence. Writing it in was pretty much a sacrifice I made for where I wanted to go with the story. And I do have a backstory for Scootaloo, and know why she doesn't have a guardian. I'm just hoping I can pull it off properly.

For the record, this line of dialogue made it through three drafts before being cut:

"You do realise that there are plenty of ponies in town that would be willing to take you in?" Diamond Tiara asked. "Everypony in town likes you. Not like me. At this point, I think they all hate me."

It got cut when I realised that this Scootaloo was too stubborn to talk about her backstory with Diamond Tiara. So it'll take awhile to come to light. In fact, the next chapter's a bit difficult to write because I'm trying to reconcile things I want to have Diamond Tiara notice with them not having been noticed generally.

I can't wait for the next chapter. DT has been in need of a serious reality call for a while.

2634052

Thanks. To be honest, for me, a lot of why I'm enjoying this one is trying to write from the perspective of someone who has had their entire world shattered. That and trying to write her thinking consistently with the way it should be. Self centered, egotistical, and naive.

And making her likeable while doing so, which is the real trick. I actually feel somewhat sorry for her while writing this.

Of course, I know what's happening at school tomorrow, and what's actually going on with Filthy Rich. :twistnerd:

Scootaloo's a bit of a challenge for me in this one, actually. I'm not used to writing a full orphan!Scootaloo, even if I have lots of practice writing her otherwise.

2634152

You are doing a good job on scoots.

But yeah I like DT being homeless for once, although I don't know if Filthy will keep her gone forever. But I have a feeling that he'll keep her gone until she learns not to be such a her.

I'm really loving this story. Keep up the good work!

2676834

Thanks! Still trying to get past the next chapter. Sweetie Belle's being a bit difficult. 1.9k into it, and it's taking forever...

Doesn't help that there's a paragraph or two that catches my eye the moment I open the document, and immediately hits me in the feels.

Hmm... okay, my interest is piqued. Some minor issues with the dialogues, still but the characters are becoming a lot clearer now. If I have the mental picture right, Scootaloo has a scab and some bare patches on her wing that suggest something cut her along that line. Something really sharp, I'd imagine. Wild speculation says either wild animal attack or abuse. One makes more sense in the show, the other more in the story. And I think I've heard you pitching that particular idea somewhere else, too. Can't say I'm totally against it, either way: it would suit the story.

The thing that'x really surprising me at the moment is: the way this ended made it look like Scoots and Sweetie Belle were together. Like 'together' together. I'm not sure what to make of it, other than the fact that I'm really sympathising with Diamond's confusion right now.

Diamond waking up was a good intro to the chapter, Scootaloo showing she is indeed the confident filly she is on the show (my main objection to Orphanloo is that it doesn't mesh with her confidence so far) was also good. And yeah, wing pushups in the morning... Scoots is hardcore. It's really nice, and it's really close to themes I like exploring as well.

Looking forward to more.

2688588

I did indeed abandon the original Scootaloo backstory somewhere in one of the rewrites of the last chapter, and switch to a version of one I'd pitched before, which felt more original. And I actually spent a surprising length of time looking at information on birds molting for this. And even on treating horse injuries. :scootangel:

I just modified one line near the end. Scootaloo was cradling her own head in her forearms. Hopefully that'll lessen confusion. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo are close, and she was being very huggy, but I didn't quite intend 'together' together. Oh well, there's always next chapter on that.

And yeah, Diamond waking up was my favorite part to write. That scene with the cushion was actually very hard to skim past every time I went to work on this chapter. It was a little too effective on me.

This Scootaloo is indeed the confident, assertive, probably too stubborn for her own good filly we all know. While I may occasionally like reading about her being a fragile little waif that needs a home, that's not what I'm going for here. I like the pushups scene. Scoots is athletic, and it really makes sense to me she'd be pushing herself like that.

Though, admittedly, my Just Winging It Scootaloo is less athletic than this one.

Glad you enjoyed it, in any case. Here's hoping the next chapter flows easier than this one did.

We enjoy this story! We are glad thou hast shown the little brat getting her just deserts. Thou hast good writing style and We look forward to seeing how Diamond copes at school and We look forward to thy next scroll Keep writing hoof servant!

Well, if by 'one scene' you meant 'three scenes'^^

What's more, he doesn't even have a character tag. Considering that Rumble (who speaks one sentence) has one, not to mention Tank... that's just insulting. Frankly, I don't understand the reasoning behind him not having his own tag.

I believe the standard method for turning off a rooster generally involves an axe and kind of a mess. Fluttershy would not approve.

Wing-ups are really weird. It's hard to figure out how they even make sense. Plus I'm surprised Scoot's wings are even big enough to reach the ground to do them at all.

So hmm... seeing that Scootaloo's injury mentioned in this chapter seems to be unrelated to the incident that started this story, I could make some guesses as to what that's all about. It sounds like some kind of cut, of course, and "scab" instead of "scar" means it's fairly recent, but beyond that I think I'll just wait to find out the backstory here instead of throwing around predictions.

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