For his hard work to the Crown, the Royal Engineer of Equestria has been honored with a retinue of VIP bodyguards who protect him everywhere he goes. Their ordinary, everyday adventures together wind up being anything but ordinary.
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Special thanks to Kasle_UNDEAD for their assistance with the Griffonese/Russian at the end.
I don't even know the language but I'm 1000% certain that say 'Stop right there, Criminal Scum!'
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cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/156610229285421056/785218579188547624/unknown.png
I don't care what it actually says. Crime brat is hilarious.
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Fun fact: It's actually very close to what they say in the Russian translation of The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, but with a little bit of tweaking specifically for this purpose:
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The exact translation, the one used in the game, would be "Стой где стоишь, преступное отродье!" - "Stoy gde stoish, prestupnoe otrodye!"
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is more like "Stop where ýou stand criminal scum"
It's like the pegasus carriage team has never flown non-fliers before...
Either the group inside was overreacting - which seems doubtful because all three were similar - or the haulers were messing with them. If Celestia really is that important to ponies, and this chapter is the absolute reality of chariot flying, then Celestia would never be allowed near one of these things. Rattling around the god-princesses of Equestria in such a manner?
"No." -every pony ever.
Russian guy here.
Is "kriminalnoye" used purposefully instead of "prestupnoye/prestupnoje"?
To make the context more recognizable to non-Russian readers, via the "Kriminal" reading similarly to the corresponding English word, or something?
The "prestupnoye" technically is more correct to the Russian phrasing of such things, afaik.
Edir: nevermind, saw the author post. I guessed correctly then.
Thank you for flying Air Birdhorse! Please don't forget your luggage, and check for any expelled organs or leaking fluids and notify an air attendant before departing!
Hope to see you again soon!
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I was initially thinking the pegasi pulling were part of Icepone's team, enacting a bit of pretty revenge, but then again, it reads like a very good approximation of a COD (carrier on-board delivery) landing.
Make of that what you will.
Well now, that's a rather significant confirmation. He's from the modern era, and he's also British.
Oh zog, that's probably going to cause problems, tore up a main road didn't they...
Yup.
Is it just me or does it seem like every chapter ends in a cliffhanger.
An entire chapter dedicated to air sickness and mortal terror over the span of five minutes.
Is that an Imperial guard?
"I've gotten to where I can say the lord's prayer in 10 seconds'
-Evel Knievel
I’m just going to assume this means “Stop right there, criminal scum!”
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Just noticed earlier comments
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Nah, if it was the Guard the end of the chapter would've been from the perspective of the AAA that just shot them down, lining up the next target. Probably followed by the Ultra Marines showing up to take all the credit.
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...
Well. If what I’ve just read is in any way, shape, or form indicative of the usual quality of chariot pegasus training, I can’t help but wonder how a certain Twilight Sparkle’s first-ever trip to Ponyville went in this reality...
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Definitely not talking from experience...
Kicks AAA gun into a ditch
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Icepone's team would be the members of the '1st Canterlot Air Superiority Wing', while Celestia's flying carriage pullers I'm guessing are part of the Household division; Celestia's personal guard. So I doubt the quality of the ride was reduced by the poor skill or training of the carriage-pullers and more on the carriage itself being a deathtrap for non-winged, non-levitating ponies and other people.
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That and they made their landing on a fairly narrow dirt/mud road, which as any pilot can tell you is only slightly more desirable than an actual random field somewhere.
Legal trouble? And here I assumed they were going to get an earful from some shopkeep about decimating the roads.
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The did come close to a nasty fall...
lol
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I honestly would have thought that a random field would be preferable.
Anonymous during the landing
https://m.10568857
Thing is, you don't know what's lying around in that empty field, and it only takes one fair-sized rock under the landing gear or an unexpected mud hole to utterly bork up a landing.
At least with a dirt road you can be reasonably sure of a smooth surface, assuming it hasn't rained...
YOU'VE VIOLATED THE LAW
I'm guessing that's Artemis' new friend messing with them at the end there, but maybe they've done something ELSE wrong, that no-one thought about before they took off on this grand adventure.
I will guarantee, on whatever you want me to bet on, Anon will at some point design some sort of upgraded Carriage, Glider, or Sleigh, To improve on the 'Royal Carriage'.
Why, oh why, did they think that would be a good idea on any moving contraption. It would be either swinging all the time, or bouncing up and down like Pinkie on a sugar rush. Opulence is nice and all, but can't someone who is skilled enough to be tasked with making noble chariots, make them grand and practical?
They're starting to remind me of my cities engineers.
Dang. This dude gets around.
To be fair, they probably didn't expect a ride to threaten their lives.
Also, this scene reminds me of this:
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Maybe they are not used to the lack of "cargo desity" that Royalty normaly weighs on the carriage. I mean just think on the princess dencity to be able to move the sun like that, she would at least need a bit of weight to anchor herself and move the sun instead of flinging herself out of orbit while she grabs onto the sun. Celestial dencity= carriage stabilizers
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The first thing I was thinking of was “damn, that’s that little flyby prank from chapter 48 coming back to haunt Artemis right here and now, isn’t it?”.
Next chapter should tell...
Just finished catching up with this story and I gotta say it was one of the most pleasant binge reading sessions I’ve had in a while.
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I, uhhh... No, I can't get behind that. If Celestia had enough personal mass to make a difference in flinging a star, it would cause the planet to orbit her, which would make the whole chariot taxi thing utterly moot. And there's no real point to making Celestia unusually massive just to make up for her magic being for some reason only able to handle 99.9% of the effort. This story has comedic elements, but it's not nearly that slap-stick.
Even then, the charioteers are professional drivers - at least I hope they are, given these directly serve the highest authority in the land - and any practiced driver can tell the difference between a smooth ride and a hellish one.
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Lol I just really wanted an excuse to call Celestia phat sun butt ;p
Who knows, maybe her flank be so dense reality warps around it like black holes... sorry just really wanted to get that off my chest, Im Good now ;3
Cliffhanger.....
i.ytimg.com/vi/-8kphJzz9hg/hqdefault.jpg
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Can you tell me the name of the story(s)?
So you got me scratching my head Bobbles/ TheManFromAnotherTime. Anon dresses like he's from the 1920's, but he talks as if he's from the '80's, referencing things that only modern people would have any real experience with. I'm not sure what to make of this.
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My personal take is that Anonymous, The Royal Engineer of Equestria, is a very adaptable man.
Nothing to get the heart pumping like a near death experience
Well... I really doubt he will do that every again unless no other option is given.
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Agreed. Its sounds like they inside a heavy thunderstorm at least. No chance it is a sunny calm day.
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Just hope no fragil cargo was present because they guest are more than just shaken
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Add a heavy thunderstorm and one or two times stalling the xarriage, its 1 to 1 the chapter
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Quality story making walking to the fridge for the milk a adventure
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Adneraline can do wonders.
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That sad... Do they really have to steal confirmed kills to look better?
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Probably used a spell or 10 to get a smooth ride plus elite carriage pulling pegasus not the fresh out of bootcamp ones like Anon's
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Sounds legit. But seriously that cant be the normal way a air carriage ride will be. Who would ride in it even as Pegasus if you get trown around like a dog chew toy in playgrounds? It would be better to add that they fly into a thunderstorm or very windy weather at the very least.
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Pretty sure Anons landing was a bit more dramatic. The sweat fall at the end seem to be legit ( Anon must at least feel like it.
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I dont think this military complex has air supplier or guest in mind. Its a mess of a military company as it is.
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Add the effect the Heli is tossed around like a ping pong ball and you got it. To bad they dont have seat belts...
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This chapter sounds like the drivers/pulling pegasus were straight out of bootcamp plus they flying in a heavy thunderstorm without rain wile being not trained to take care of fragil cargo/guest of honor.
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Not before sunday when her cake orgy has happend.
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One is a deviantART story. And the other a very short but fine story i have to check my favorites for i have 300+ storys on my favorit list
Edit:
'Home Is Where The Hive Is'
Pony take the Changeling homeland over and named it Equestria.
“Oh, sweet Celestia of Equestria, hallowed be thy name, thank you.” Funniest line yet!! 😂😂😂😂
Gotta admit, this is probably the most realistic reaction to being in a flying chariot. Gravity doesn't give a shit about how comfortable you are.
Haha. Just wait until jetlack sets in.
Creative.
Very well written! You made the real the physics of a magical technicolor pony para-pontoon into a three-dimensional adventure and page-turner.
I am beginning to think these chapters aren’t detailing everyday life with guardsmares at all but instead chronicling extraordinary exploits of Equestrian supermares.
Priceless chapter,the unknown boosts fears.
Turbulence is one hell to reach panic town.
Fear of flight might result after this mutch Turbulence and the very rough landing.