For his hard work to the Crown, the Royal Engineer of Equestria has been honored with a retinue of VIP bodyguards who protect him everywhere he goes. Their ordinary, everyday adventures together wind up being anything but ordinary.
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Damn... What a chapter. They dont even remember the blood donation...
Drinking buddys? That a start
Next chapter: Kiss & tell
Dunno about Catalan, but in the land of beans and tortillas, 'Elaborado y embotellado' sounds perfectly fine.
Nothing good can come of this.
I can't wait.
Uh oh. Nothing good ever comes from this game.
Not that I'd know from any personal experience...
You relly want us to keep on edge dude, that's cruel
my first question for ebonshield would be " how you breath up there on the moon" xD
Sounds like a party.
Question i ask the mares guards while drunk? Well:
-Ever try two stud at ones?
-Ever did it with a mare?
-How do Equestria look from up there?
-Is there a big variation of animals on the moon or just ponys?
-How do one get a Lunar pony going?
Wing massage? Ear nibbeling?
-Do the have specific moonpies up there?
Or are all pies by default moonpies?!
-Do they have different weather on the moon? Or it basicly always the same time of year...
By Extension is it hot/cold/dry up there?
And most important... Do they have a castle on the moon the if in light spells:
'Celestia is a bitch' ?
still rooting for our bat pony to get first dibs
Are they drinking Jägermeister? It sounds like they're drinking the moon bat pony version of Jägermeister.
Good thing its a quiet time, hope they dont have the Drill sergent training them the next morning.. Or the day after.. Or a sudden call for requirements tonight.
As for the bottle.
Death And Glory?
Will Wreck Your St?
Never Gonna Give You Up?
As a mexican spanish native speaker, 'Elaborado y Embotellado' is commonly used for alcoholic bottles in here. Its both appropiate and, most importantly, rolls off the tongue easily.
Ive also noticed bottles of Ratafia Catalan use 'Elaborado'. The mentioning that it was done so 'Artesanalmente' and the mentioning of its contents and methods 'Tradicionales' of production is also common when adding prestige to a bottle in both Spain and Mexico.
Maestro Cadazor
It would be Maestro Cazador in Spanish. Caçador would be the Catalán spelling. It is a hard Z, as in Zorro. ;)
This out of the way, I can honestly state that this is quite an enjoyable story, and I hope to see more about these four plucky mares. :D
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10545080
Thank you kindly, sirs.
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Whoops, not sure how I got that backwards a couple of times. Fixed!
I'm Peruvian and here it would be "Producido y envasado"...so not sure how it is in Europe but I would guess it's "Hecho y embotellado" since they use "Hecho" more than we do here
Well that clarify things, and poor mares. They really don't know what they are dealing with, Anon will have a hard time riling them up, and explain the concept of 'don't date your coworkers' that would definitely put a stop to all their advances.
But hey, maybe he can meet them half way. Help them be like a sort of wingman so they find a stable relationships while they help him learn about society, culture and norms. Specially when dealing with mares or other females.
Which by the by, because for how long he has been in Equestria, be proclaimed the royal engineer, secure a post on the royals private circle AND became a pioneer (is he a pioneer?) of the era of industry with revolutionary and world changing ideas, I'm shock that not a single mare (…or more accurately gold diggers noble or aristocrat) haven't approach him yet. Been naive means he is an easy target at worse and a perfect puppet that they don't even need to 'lift their rumps' at best. So he is the golden apple in the part of political and nobility opportunity to ascend the latter.
In fame it a given, just date the alien guarantee frontal page, the lucky mare would just need to keep the fire going.
And fortune? Again, he is a pioneer!…I think, if he is not rich now, the second that book is publish he will be rolling in coins.
So yeah, even factoring reservation (…and maybe racism?) a lot of mares should had their eye place on him…heck maybe even female of other nations too, he is improving a nation. Of course other rulers or masters in economic and/or politics will like to shake hands with such unusual oddity seeking his favor.
My theory is that they exist and the author is just waiting to see where to present them, maybe the gala could be our clue. Oh the possibilities
Maybe my patience is wearing thin, but I've grown to dislike reading scenes that describe every minutia of detail to very mundane tasks or actions. Like explaining and mixing the drinks.
I have a feeling this is a one off thing that has no bearing in the future. So overall this chapter had about 45% bloat that ultimately meant nothing in the long run.
Im Only mentioning it because the last chapter spent way too long describing them going downstairs into a cellar and later a tunnel. Which again was way too much descriptive bloat for a simple walk down to a shady hideout.
Don't spend a paragraph describing Mustang clipping the end of his cigar while he supposed to be engaged in conversation.
Doing that breaks up the flow of dialog. Try to add short descriptions in between dialog and the actions they take.
Otherwise people forget what the conversation was about after reading 3 paragraphs of how a pony mixes a drink.
I will find it HILARIOUS if Celestia and Luna decide that, instead of using their Presence they use something from Anon. A Lie Detector Test.
Drunk Mares? Check
Truth or Dare proposed? Check
Unsuspecting Male Protagonist? Check
Oh yes, it's all coming together
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In writing ELWG I have done some research into topics I didn't know about previously, like cigar smoking etiquette or popular mixed drinks involving Jaegermeister, and I try to share the fruits of the research with the readers. That may be considered gratuitous, but there are good reasons to focus the text on these little bits and pieces of everyday life, perhaps chief among them that the story is called "Everyday Life With Guardsmares". I also included them also because I'm following in the footsteps of one of my favourite authors, Ian Fleming, author of James Bond. The Bond novels frequently go into details on aspects of drinking, smoking, guns, clothing, horse-racing, etc. and I always liked those sections as cultural anchors to the 50s & 60s, so I followed that example.
However, there are also legitimate story reasons to include these sections.
In the scene with JP Mustang smoking cigars, his bodyguard Zerofear is frankly paying way more attention to his boss smoking cigars, because JP Mustang is modelled after notorious cigar enthusiast and financier JP Morgan, and because Zerofear couldn't give two hoots about Bitsmount's childish whining about not getting his way. Zerofear, whose perspective we have on the scene, would much rather be smoking a cigar and banging Isabelle Coquette, so for the story section from his perspective, attention is on the attractive young mare in the Prench Maid outfit and on the enjoyment of cigar-smoking. That's just what he's thinking about. The fact that Zerofear was inducted into cigar culture by Mustang is also relevant to develop the idea that Mustang may be willing to ask for a favour under the table on behalf of his business associate, but also treats his own staff well -- in other words, he may not be a villain, or if he is, then at least he's a reasonable one.
With the trip into Isfet's lair, I wanted to give a sense that this was a deep, well-hidden place within what normally from the show we should consider a positive and virtuous (if not entirely sinless) Canterlot city. Something as vile as the lair of a sorcerer selling illicit potions to upset the rule of law in Equestria has to be deep and only accessible by winding, corrupt passages well outside the gaze of the Princesses and the watchful eyes of the Royal Guard, or else it shouldn't exist. There's also a metaphor for Bitsmount and Songwell's descent into greater evil as they traverse the passage, and a bit of foreshadowing of how the encounter will end in the way that Granny Nag manages to hobble ahead at warp speed. It's also a horror scene, at the end, and horror has to be built up, not just purely jump-scare.
The drinking section is mostly about the characters' reactions to the drinks, their tastes and enthusiasm. Eb doesn't like fizzy sweet drinks on their own, Honour is the kind of pony who would have absolutely sucked down Jaeger-bombs at a bar when she was younger, Sparkshower hasn't had much experience with alcohol, etc. The idea is to relate the characters to modern cultural stereotypes -- disliking soft drinks is considered elitist or upper-class (in Canada/USA you might hear it called "Euro-snob"), being a Jaeger-bomb enthusiast is the hallmark of a party girl, etc. And this scene from Glamerspear's perspective importantly is one of the first examples we're seeing of her ability to apply good logical reasoning, if for the crude subject of mixing drinks. Importantly, for all her indulgences in base desires, I want to show that she's not dumb. And then there's also that savouring some chilled drinks together is the metaphorical icebreaker for the team, the alcohol serving as the lubricant. Maestro Cazador is obviously not going to play a major role in the story, it's just a digestif, but the things they talk about (like, say, the non-existence of vampires) are important to the story as a whole. The party isn't over, either -- there's four more scenes to come, though they focus much less on the booze than on the conversation.
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Don't ever stop doing this; I like these parts too!
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I concur. Those parts give us insight into the world and let us learn a few things in the process. I never even knew there was such a thing as cigarette etiquette, for one! Now that I'm aware, if I ever write anything involving cigarettes, I'll know to research into it so I don't look silly.
Thank you, Mr. ManFromAnotherTime, and thank you, Bobbles, for the chance to learn about new stuff while also enjoying one of the coolest bits of fiction on this site. You guys are, like, cool or whatever.
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You could just take the more cryptic approach and say it is all part of the plan.
Or 'patience, grasshopper' and other comments conveying the fact it is generally all on purpose.
Either way, thank you for taking the time to elaborate your reasoning to someone being disrespectful.
Personally, having done some writing and plenty of reading, both stories and on TVtropes.org for how stories are conceptually built, I find this story is remarkably well constructed.
Aside from a professional editor going over it to catch errors, it is right on par with most published works.
The primary intention of a story is something engaging that draws one in, and you have well succeeded here.
Only real question I would have about it would be how long are we expecting the story to run, or at least how much has been banked for daily chapter posts before updates become delayed.
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I'd ballpark the current story's backlog at (very) approximately 180 chapters worth of material, give or take.
10545360
Currently it's over half a million words in the greentext form. It's hard for me to judge expected word count when that's not really something I've been caring about (only word count of individual scenes), but there's going to be an increase in pace after a couple of key events. Even so I expect it's still no more than three-quarters complete.
For comparison what's here in FIMFiction right now is a little over a sixth of what has been written in the pastebin/greentext.
I know that's a heck of a long story. The idea is that the individual peaks, like Newstirrup Bridge or Luna's visit, come frequently enough, as well as that each update should be enjoyable to read in its own right.
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I shall now quietly squee to myself at months more of being amused by four mares and a clueless.
The journey of the story is, ultimately, much more important than the ending.
Nobody reads the ending if they are not captured in the middle.
Professional army mares acting like school fillies? This is where the fun begins
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Yes, yes they are
Jägermeister means "Máster Hunter" in german.
So in spanish It translates to "Maestro Cazador"
Clever mare inventing Jäggerbombs
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Well yeah, I knew that. Both translations. Even the description of Maestro Cazador as a digesto and the spices and whatnot, is Jägermeister. I just think the German to Spanish, morph of the alcohol is funny
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To this end, I have but two words.
Hell Michigan.
Well, get ready for so e possible mare-on-mare action next chapter!
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I look forward to the Anon-centered Dare that's sure to come up.
Always choose truth.
¡Va a ser un disastre!
That silly colt was a fool to not date that mare. All because of some minor wing differences. Psh!
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Woefully ignorant and biased by society, can't really put all the blame on him. But, as the saying goes...
You don't know what you had till you lost it.
Thoughts on the Spin-the bottle game? I think Sparks is going out first.
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I'm always happy to share a fandom classic
Why did I not put that together before? Maestro Cadazor; Jagger Meister. I feel dumb.
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I hope so, but "truth" about anon feels more believable, without stopping the game.
Maybe a really big dare at the end though!
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Ah I see. Thank you for clearing that up. Now it all makes sense.
Switch the d and z, unless you meant it to be like that.
*insert ugandan Knuckles oh no meme here*
I can't wait to see how this ends.
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I didn't; fixed!
“Elaborado y embotellado” or “producido y embotellado” are correct, so it is alright in the story. “Producto y embotellado” would be “product and bottled”, not produced, and would make little sense. “Hecho y embotellado” though correct, feels a little bland. Also “madurado en las cuevas de (insert name) “ would also sound cool and would translate as “aged in the caves of...” I don’t know... I suppose the moon would have nice caves to use as cellars.
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I took the phrase off the label of a bottle of alcohol from Spain. Not every piece of Spanish in the story is straight out of Google Translate or Wiktionary.
Not just iron. The 'seas' are a fundamentally different type of rock (basalt rather than the anorthosites, dunites, and granites of the highlands), and many have potentially valuable enrichments in "KREEP" elements; potassium and phosphorus in particular are essential for plant growth, and potassium would be expected to be highly valuable, as the overall composition of the moon is extremely depleted in it.
PS, the ancients were not wrong about the topography of the 'seas': They all fill depressions in the lunar highland crust, in the same way that water fills depressions in the Earth's crust (they are not as flat as Earth's oceans, but the latter are not completely flat either, due to tidal, etc, effects); closer examination will, of course, almost certainly reveal (as with flood basalts on Earth and the observation of lava flow characteristics on the Moon's 'seas') that the filling process was more complicated than a literal sea of lava (as a consequence of the higher viscosity of basaltic lava compared to water), but a proto-astronomer could be forgiven for assuming that a darker and smoother-looking surface is a sea or former sea of some sort.
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Bloody heavens
This is the most informative fanfiction i've ever read