Robot Pony

by Dreadnought

Big Brother

Julie Chen smiled into the camera. "Now it's time to announce the final contestant on this year's Big Brother. Who will join Jenna, Sarah, Roger, John, Aisha, Robert, and Andrea? Let's find out."

Tense music and an uncomfortably drawn-out intro.

"Pinkie Pie!"

The pink-haired girl bounced into the house to meet the fellow houseguests. "Hiya! My name is Pinkie Pie! It's nice to meet you! You want to be friends!? I'm friends with everyone back in Canterlot! We're going to have so much fun!"

---

A half-awake Aisha trudged down the hall to the bathroom. She reached for the doorknob and opened the door -

Boom!

"F*%#!" cried Aisha.

Pinkie giggled, "I see you found the first of my hidden party cannons!"

---

"That was a great dinner," said Bob.

"I'm stuffed," agreed Andrea.

"Who wants pie?" said Pinkie as she walked into the dining room somehow carrying eight pies.

"I couldn't eat another bite," said John.

Pinkie giggled, "There's always room for pie!"

Before the other houseguests knew it, they each had a pie in front of them and a piece on a fork in their mouths.

---

Most of the houseguests were fast asleep....

BAM! BAM! da-Bam! drrrRING!

All the houseguests rushed into the living room only to be met with a shower of confetti.

"Happy New Tuesday!"

"This is ridiculous!" cried Andrea as sever others dropped a string of profanity.

"Happy New Tuesday!"

---

Shutting the refrigerator door, Bob asked, "Did Pinkie do the grocery shopping?"

Looking up from her book, Sarah responded, "Yeah. Why?"

"It's all whipped cream."

---

John shut the door. He turned to Aisha, the only other occupant in the room. "We need to talk."

"What about?"

Taking a hushed tone, he said, "Who we're going to vote out of the house."

Speaking in whispers, she said, "I've got an idea for that."

"Yeah, I think we should - "

"WHAT'CHA TALKING ABOUT!" cried Pinkie Pie as she popped out of the couch cushions.

---

Looking into the camera, Julie Chen said, "And in a unanimous vote, our first evicted houseguest is -"

An uncomfortably long silence.

"Pinkie Pie!"

TV STATIC