• Member Since 18th Aug, 2011
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Dubs Rewatcher

Fandom veteran, journalist, sixteen-time EqD published author. I hope you have a lovely day! Come visit my official website at www.williamantonelli.com


For thousands of years, the moon has waged endless war on innocent beaches. Every day the tides wash away countless sand castles, crushing the dreams of foals all across Equestria. Somepony needs to stop the moon's heinous crimes—and, at last, it looks like somepony will.

After her sand palace is washed away by the ocean, Dinky Hooves takes it upon herself to do something that should have been done centuries ago: destroy the moon.

Now with a reading by Teksune Studios!

Originally written for the Writeoff Association's February Contest, "Look, I Can Explain..."
Thanks to Foehn, Quill Scratch, Murmurpunk, Horizon, and Oroboro for helping out in various ways.
Dinky vector by ZuTheSkunk. Silhouetted Luna vector by NightFlyer22. Moon photo by NASA.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 99 )

Hey, I recognize that Dinky picture somewhere. It was also used in the fanfic Plural Possessive. I can't find the actual source of the pic, though. The original source of the picture does not seem to be available anymore.

Lol that was so adorable, i loved the ending! Derpy and dinky are so cute, great job on the story! :derpytongue2:


Ah, so that's where it originally came from! The person who wrote "Plural Possessive" linked it to a page that no longer exists.

Bodhisattva Dinky is best Dinky.

Geez. Dinky is cute but I don't expect her to live long

wlam #8 · Feb 20th, 2016 · · ·

“What?” Dinky gaped. “But ponies control everything!”

The words ‘racial sensitivity training’ flashed before Cheerilee’s eyes.

:rainbowlaugh: Pony school teacher: worst job in the universe. I'm really feeling for Cheerilee here.

“Really?” Dinky asked with a start. “I always thought Cadance was the skinny princess.”

:rainbowlaugh: This is a really, really horrible child. Seriously.

6954413 Ah, I knew someone had to make a Dragonball reference here somewhere.

Comment posted by neorenamon deleted Feb 20th, 2016

“Really?” Dinky asked with a start. “I always thought Cadance was the skinny princess.”

“Wow,” Dinky said, stars in her eyes. “I’m so pretty! And Mom is so old! She’s got, like, wrinkles and stuff.”

Only racial sensitivity training, Miss Cheerilee?

This is still fantastic. And you have firmly established a new bit of headcanon for me: Every young unicorn goes through a megalomaniacal phase, where they believe their will is sovereign law and the universe should bow to their whims. (Yes, even more so than other children.) Some just never grow out of it. Fortunately, Dinky has far too good a mother to suffer such a sad fate, even if she weren't enlightened.

Thanks for putting this up on Fimfiction. :twilightsmile:

Fook, i needed this story, I haven't seen a good story with dinky and derpy in a while, and the jokes made me smile

They who so ever shall make the Dinky cry, SHALL BURN!

“Hey, Mom! I was just about to discover true inner peace, but then I found this cute doggy—look, it’s got this weird foamy stuff all around its mouth!”

Self-preservation instinct: Dinky has none :pinkiehappy:

My sandcastle savior phase wasn't nearly as dramatic. I just built a big moat around it. But I suppose I wasn't ready for the nihilism cycle yet, so it's probably for the best.


Earth, moon, whatever. It fits.

You had me at "colony of spiders". :trollestia:

This was my kind of adorable madness. I love how you portray Dinky and the slew of deadly pets was a hilarious gag. :rainbowlaugh:

Adorably dangerous and delightfully detached from reality. Children are fun.

Destroy-The-Moon-Inator! Featuring Dr. Heinz Dinky.

Did you win the Writeoff Association's February Contest? Where can I find the entries?

Heh, no. This fic didn't even make finals! The full results can be found here, along with the Writeoff version of this story: http://writeoff.me/event/46-Look-I-Can-Explain/fic/results

And a few of the fics from that round are already on FiM, and can be found here: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/200535/folder/49726/1/2016-01-look-i-can-explain

Adorable story!:pinkiehappy:
have a like!:twilightsmile:

Called her Muffins instead of Derpy, can't take seriously. Harumph, I say!

The ocean and its constant siege against the borders of Dinky's kingdom. :rainbowlaugh:

Dinky is surprisingly bloodthirsty in this one. And she doesn't do things by halves, does she?

I live by a lake. THE CASTLES WILL LAST FOREVER! :trollestia:

Hey! You can't destroy the moon, all my stuff is here!

She had just sent the foals out for recess, which meant it was time for her least favorite part of the day: grading spelling tests and mourning the death of the Equuish language. She took a deep breath and pulled out a tub of red ink. The first in the pile was Featherweight, who insisted on spelling ‘tragedy’ as ‘tragiedgie.’ Cheerilee held down a sob.

Yeah, I can sometimes relate to Cheerilee on that one. :twilightsheepish:

Anyway, excellent story as always. Thanks for sharing it with us. :twilightsmile:

Dear Dinky,

Please build your sand castles above the high-tide line. It troubles me to see them crumble so soon.


(Wha--za??> :twilightoops:

That went... Well, 'oh this looks cute' and grew into 'ah, it's getting zany' and grew into 'odd and demented filly, that one' and grew into 'I see, a life lesson thing' and grew into 'What?' and finally closed on 'the more things change, the more they stay the same'. Not bad. :derpytongue2:

Well, I'm sure we've learned a valuable lesson from this.


“Really?” Dinky asked with a start. “I always thought Candance was the skinny princess.”

This whole story killed me but this line ... i had to stop reading for a while so i could stop laughing at it.

“So I should stab Princess Luna?”

I lost it here. :rainbowlaugh:

grading spelling tests and mourning the death of the Equuish language.

Shouldn't it be Equestrian language?

NAI is unavailable right now. Please restart his brain.

A classic tale detailing the pointlessness of existence. I found it enjoyable.

I've always thought that tides on Equestria would be crazy... and imagine what it was like with Discord flinging the Sun and Moon about.

6960790 Pfft, maybe YOUR existence is pointless. Mine is driving people insane! It's very fulfilling! :pinkiecrazy:

6958065 Use your evil unicorn powers to fuse the sand into glass. Then infuse it with SOULS for extra protection! :pinkiecrazy:

6960902 Vice is indeed fulfilling, by the looks of it.

6960899 At least Discord's abuse followed a single path, what about Twilight's drunken maneuvering?! Whole island civilizations were probably lost!


News announcer after Twilight wobbles the Sun and Moon around: "While the long-term environmental effects can only be guessed at, preliminary speculation puts the death toll from tidal effects alone at the hundreds of millions. We take you now to our resident expert on lunar science, Sailor Moon. Sailor?" "OH DEAR GOD, WHY?!" "Thank you Sailor!"

(DBZ: Abridged, the gift that keeps on giving...) :trollestia:

When I was really little, my mom let me go get a pet from the pet store, and the stallion there sold me this really cute fish called a ‘pear-anna’ or something. Mom wouldn’t let me keep it, though.

It took me a few seconds to figure this one out, but when I did-:rainbowlaugh:.

Dare I say, I believe I'm going to do a reading of this! :rainbowwild:

Hahahahahaha! XD omg, that was funny, adorable and awesome!

NIcely done XD

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