• Member Since 12th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 31st, 2016

Gremlin Grenade


Ditzy Doo "Derpy" Hooves is a mare with special needs. She has a steady job as a mailmare, caring friends, and a daughter she loves more than anything. Her life isn't perfect, and she doesn't always understand the world around her, but she manages to stay cheerful and brighten the lives of those around her every day.

A unique look on the fan-character Derpy Hooves, inspired by my favorite novel: Flowers for Algernon.

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 44 )

I didn't want to clutter up the description, but I wanted to explain exactly why I wrote this story.
This is my very belated response to the whole "Derpygate" mess, applied in a creative outlet. Essentially, I agree with most bronies that Derpy should have remained how she was, but I felt that most fans handled it the wrong way, even some of the most courteous ones. While a lot of fans reacted with reasonable amounts of poise, the most common response I heard was "we didn't mean she was retarded when we called her Derpy." However, I feel that this is not only wrong, but kind of irrelevant (in fact the whole issue is irrelevant). The fact of the matter is that it doesn't matter if Derpy has a mental handicap or not, we still love her, and I don't believe it's "politically correct" to censor her character. To say that a character with a mental handicap in a children's show is offensive is, in my opinion, to say that you are offended by the fact that people have mental handicaps. She wasn't created specifically to portray the mentally handicapped in an endearing fashion (though I think she does anyways), nor was she created to insult those with handicaps. It was just part of her, just like real disabled people, and I feel it is wrong (and even a little twisted) to be offended by that.

Ow. These friggin' hurt to read, especially the first one. Flowers for Algernon put me down for the count, and now I keep thinking of it happening with Derpy :fluttercry:

Now, that being said, this is a touching little piece, one that shows the- oh, nuts to this. It's so sad and beautiful!!! :raritycry:

Ahhh, I like that you took the middle ground on Dinky's father. The Doctor but may or may not be THE Doctor, since I think he would know better than to commit statutory rape (Based on this level of impairment it may be illegal for her to engage in sexual intercourse.) Doctor Who crossovers are touchy and hard to manage. But you punted and that's a good choice.

For the longest time I've advocated a romantic relationship between Derpy and Carrot Top. She doesn't NEED to be a single mom when there is a perfectly lovely mare there for her.

All in all, a good character study for "Derpy-as-functionally-mentally-impaired." :twilightsmile:

Oh, Cheerily's perspective! I'm sure this will be positively delightf- oh, you flowery little bitch.:flutterrage:

Thank you for the kind words!

Thanks. I'm not much of a doctor whooves fan (namely because I don't know the first thing about doctor who) and it drives me nuts that people who like him seem to consider that crossover cannon, but he's her most common ship, and pretty much the only one who can conceive. I like to throw the concept out that he may be the same doctor, but it's not necessarily true, so everyone's happy.

As with carrot top, I'm not sure how I feel about that. Mostly because I fail to believe that the majority of relationships in ponyville are gay (which, according to the community, they are), and that even if they were, these ponies would hook up with their friends. Girls "friendzone" guys all the time, so why not other girls too?

Oh, be nice. She's trying to do the right thing, really.:scootangel:

I've always imagined Ditzy and Carrot Top as roommates in a 'wacky buddy' sitcom.

And, Cherrilee's bitchiness depends on her reaction to Sparkler's counter-proposal. If she's all, "Sure, that works too, I hadn't thought of that", then she's fine, but "UNACCEPTABLE! Dinky cannot be allowed to live with Derpy! :flutterrage:" makes her a bitch.

I enjoyed it overall, even if the subject matter is a little overcooked at this point. +1
However, I don't think I'll be able to forgive you for that title.
As gentlemen, we must duel.:moustache:


But... wah? :rainbowhuh:

I did my research! I always check before I use a title!

Edit: Mine came first. Check the dates. (it was first submitted on April 7, in case I edit it). :ajsmug:

I was about to release this when Derpy's Diary came out, so I decided to wait, and I forgot until just recently.

This fic was fantastic. Many manly feels were felt. Seriously, though, reading this just warmed me up. I love reading things about Derpy that don't sound patronizing to her and really express love for her daughter.

"...its probly becus shes good at so many things that her cute mark dusnt no wat to be. " My heart melted.

This is a very interesting fic,seeing the world though Derpy's eyes is very unique and in its own way quite wonderful. Cherilee's concerns seem to stem from the worry Dinky's not getting the educational support that Ditzy simply can't provide with her disability which would be a valid concern for any decent teacher, how she reacts to Sparklers offer will be what establishes her as either someone who really does care or who is a titanic bitch. Of course, I suppose with the Board removing Dinky once it sets a precedent for someone else who may not be as nice as Cherilee to request it be done again and much further away

Alright, I was intending on this being the complete story, but it seems like everypony wants to see what happens with Cherilee's reaction is to the whole mess, and how it concludes. So, by popular demand (popular demand being the only dozen people who expressed an opinion on the story), I'll add a final chapter to tie things up.


And this obviously has nothing to do with the fact that the story doesn't have enough words to be submitted to EQD right now. Nope.

There are ways to show someone is not a neurotypical adult besides terrible spelling. You could've went with vocabulary choice, sentence construction, a whole multitude of ways that aren't annoying as hell to read.


My first negative response! :yay::trollestia:

Well, to be honest, that's something I felt guilty about, because I jumped into this without doing any research; I just assumed it looked handicapped. However, my decision was made for namely to pay homage to Flowers for Algernon, which is my favorite novel to date. Like that story, it causes a sort of childish feeling, and causes the reader to feel a little more sympathetic rather than just confused.

Besides, poor vocabulary would just make the story look poorly written, rather than being deliberately so. And bad sentence structure is even more annoying to read than bad spelling.

Just a FYI, filly rape is pretty much an auto-rejection from Equestria Daily. They also only accept stories that are written in English.


Thanks for the heads up! :trollestia:

To be honest, I'm not expecting much in that regard, but it's worth a shot! The way I see it, they took "Derpy's Dairy," so by all rights mine should qualify as well! Whether or not this is a done to death concept, is another matter entirely...

There's a lot of things that bother me about this "story," but I guess what baffles me the most is why you had to make Whooves a rapist.

My heart. It hurts.

Well, I liked it. And as far as I'm concerned, it's all that matters. Thumbs up.

You were bothered by it? I'm sorry! :fluttercry:

I didn't want to make whooves so much of a rapist, as much as he is over-eager. He asked ahead of time, and even though he knew that she didn't understand, I know plenty of guys who'd take her oblivious word as consent.

Between you and me, the quotations around "story" are perfectly appropriate. I'm happy over the mostly-positive reception I've gotten, but I didn't have to work too hard on it, and I don't consider it my best work.

I hope to make something more to your liking in the future!

I love this story. It should have much more attention than it's getting. I especially like when Derpy says that Rainbow's hair is every color except those it isn't.
I feel like baking muffins for her right now. Too bad I can't cook.:raritycry:

As Gremlin Grenade said, it is written like Flowers for Algrnon(sp?), so it has to be written like that.
(ps: Grem, I love that story [FFA] and this one!)

Why are the first two chapters Repeated?:derpyderp1:

:rainbowhuh: I'm not sure what you mean...

The first chapter is by a mentally disabled Derpy, where the second one is by her kindergarten-level daughter, Dinky.

Maybe you saw the stylistic similarities or the similar opening and thought they were the same chapter? :unsuresweetie:

I don't know what to say, but they're not repeated. :applejackunsure:

NVM I am an Idiot and forgot to read chapter 1 and 2 :facehoof:

even though many ponys had a hand in this decesion it is hard not to want to blame some one

1047151 hold up hold up first you say depry hooves is the mom and Ditzy's the Foster mom i get that but who the fuck is Ditzy Doo Hooves?

Derpy is Ditzy. Ditzy Doo Hooves is her legal name, Derpy is just a derogatory nickname given to her. She calls herself Derpy because she's not particularily offended by it, but since the ponies in the later chapters are trying to be formal in their letters they call her by her legal name.

That was kind of the point; these things happen in real life all the time, and yet no one is to blame because everyone has a valid reason for their opinion. Unfortunately, bureaucracy and technicalities tend to mix poorly with real human beings, and end with a result no one really wants to see happen.

Though I mostly did that because I didn't want to make anyone hate one of the background characters because of something I wrote. :twilightsheepish:
Cheerilee and Mayor Mare don't really deserve it.

1048068 OHH ohay so what now? i mean ditzy in foster care thats gotta be tuff

First of all, Dinky's the one going into foster care.

Except that the last chapter should explain that Twilight got Princess Celestia herself to intervene, so their whole family can stay together, and Dinky can stay with her mom so long as Sparkler acts as a sort of foster sister. I guess I'll add one more chapter if that doesn't seem clear to most of my readers, from Celestia's perspective. :unsuresweetie:

Once again, Twilight saves the day.

Nice story.^^
However, when you said it was inspired by Flower for Algernon, I expected Derpy to actually become more and more intelligent over the course of the story (The titles of the chapter even kinda fit: First we would have Dinky's reaction, then Derpy's lessons with Cherilee and later with Twilight... Damn. I want to write that story now,but I just don't have time for yet another fanfic idea xD)

I actually had that idea as a possibility when I was writing the story (especially when I decided to add chapters), but I decided against it because I wanted to write something original and not just an adaptation.

Still, if you go for it, I'm sure it'd be a good read! :twilightsmile:

1105533 Maybe I'll write it someday. But I already have to publish half a dozen of concepts I have xD
Anyway, the story was great, just not what I expected at first :p

Yeah man, I know that feel. :ajsleepy:

I'm glad you enjoyed it, anyways!

So let me explain my thoughts well reading this:

Hmm a special needs Derpy story. I haven't read on of those. I've never liked the idea, but why not I'll give the genre a chance.

wow the author is laying it on a bit thick with the intention misspelling, but it is kinda cute so far with Derpy saying how much she loves Dinky.

"special hug" ....:facehoof: Oh great. Rape. :ajbemused: Was that really nessicary, Author. Just had to make The doctor a rapist. goody.

I will not be reading this story any futher. Good to know my derision of special needs Derpy stories was indeed well founded.

Well, that was pretty brutally honest. It's unfortunate that you're not going to finish it, because the rest of the story isn't much like the first chapter.

As far as the rape thing... I thought about making Dinky some form of deformed carrot, that could just get pulled out of the ground, but then I decided that I'd need to explain the whole mythos behind that. Because, you know, that's where pony babies come from.

(As far as the misspelling thing, though, I do plan to edit that out a bit, it's just tricky to be more subtle with that).

Let me clarify something here. This wasn't written with any harsh intentions, especially against Doctor Who (or doctor Whooves, as it were). I didn't intend to demonize any characters that people are fans of, but the doctor (in MLP) has exactly NO characterizations, so I'm not misinterpreting or vilifying a character that has already been established as good (or at least not evil). But the story IS tagged sad, which was there for you to see before you started reading, and that means that unfortunately some sad things have to happen in the story.

I deliberately wrote the doctor in a way that it was up to the reader whether or not it was THE doctor, but if you're honestly offended by my portrayal of him, know that I had it in mind that it's NOT the same doctor.

It's one thing if someone doesn't like my stories, but I'm bothered that people are being actively offended by it. :fluttershysad:

Please understand that this ruling is not of my own decision, nor is it of any individual pony of the board, but instead a carefully calculated decision made in collective agreement by a majority vote.

So it's just all of you at once? Alright. That should be easy enough. *click* But let's start with you anyway. *BANG*


I enjoyed this story's phonetically written start. The story was unique and conveyed the story clearly. I must say I really enjoyed this for how nonstandard it was. Thank you for a fun departure from a standard first or third person tale.

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