After Twilight returns from the Human World, Celestia is desperate to know of her former student, Sunset Shimmer, and what happened to her. Upon learning of the horrible things her former student has done, Celestia breaks down in tears as Twilight asks why she was so important to Celestia and why she never told anypony. Celestia tells the story of her and Sunset. How they were so close, and how one secret ruined everything between them.
Spoilers in comments.
Thanks to Biker_Dash, ugugg93, and The Abyss for edit and Pre-reading
Thanks to SilFoe for letting use the art
Chapters (12)
Nice story! Can't wait for more!
Dundundun!
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What a twist, more shall cometh!
Welp.
This can only end well...
~Skeeter The Lurker
her jaw drop.
Told well so far, and an interesting twisted on the Element's functionality.
Only you, my friend, could write this tale the way it deserves. I know that this fic will be outstanding!
Oh well. Shit just got real.
One word 'WOW' didn't see that coming
Woah. Woah.
I'm gonna tell you this straight.
NOPE
WARNING: This area is contaminated with heavy sarcasm. Approach with caution!
Wha... oh no! Are you seri... wow! This is mind blowing!
i.imgur.com/utEZIhHl.jpg
Like i said, this was spoiled in your blog. Unless there were a small number of readers who didn't vote for your next one shot, they might be shocked. But i wasn't. Good read, though.
I love this fic
I want more
So, i see you used the same logic of how the Elements work as in that chapter in Aftermath of a Fallen Star, right?
Cue dramatic music:
Woah, Woah, WOAH!!! Back up there a second! She's your what now!?
I know for sure you are not gonna introduce the plot from Rainbow Rocks, but if you could put some elements from the movie, like the book that Celestia gave to Sunset, It would be great that at some point Sunset or Celestia decide to reach each other
Yeah, that makes quite a bit of sense. Wonder how Twilight reacts to this?
i saw that coming when i first started the story didn't stop my blood from thumping though when she did the big reveal.. Though i really thought she would have done it in a later chapter.
Lovely! While I did expect it, it wasn't cheesy in the least and was a good read. Maybe the suspense to the reveal could have been built up a bit better, but it was great nonetheless!
Can't wait for more!
-Pumpkin Spice
5196972
Seconded. Did not see that twist coming. At. All.
Or the fairly dark take on the elements of harmony.
It was a good read! I'll definitely be tracking this one.
5199129
Makes me wonder... what would Celestia feel if the Elements were used on her?
5199147
In this story? Th guilt of having failed her sister, the manipulations she's done to ensure the six elements were found, and mistakes she made with Sunset. Times 1000
5199181
I think she would want that, believing she deserves to be punished
Well, I'll admit, I don't think I've ever seen a fanfic ACTUALLY do this.
Be adopted? I used that.
Ignoring her real parents for a relationship with Celestia that turned VERY unhealthy for Sunset in spite Celestia trying to put her down gently? Seen that.
It's ironic. You think this sort of thing would be a standard cliche in fanfics. But this is the first time I've ever actually read it.
There was the story where RD was Celestia's child. And of course the fic where Twilight was.
But Sunset being Celestia's child? The show would never go with that. But it does hold good impact for story telling. And explains why her cutie mark is a SUN rather than a flame.
Well, I don't understand the apparent surprise of some of your readers, I mean, given the title and description, the 'reveal' was pretty obvious before I opened the chapter. Which makes me wonder why you bothered having Celestia internally refer to Sunset as her former student instead of her daughter, but then, I guess some people didn't get it.
Personally, I have a thing against 'internal dialogue'. Like all dialogue, it should be used to portray the character as much as to portray their thoughts. What I mean is, it needs to have some value beyond telling me what they are thinking. Usually, this means telling me about them and their state of mind in the words and structure of the thought. If you aren't doing that, it's better to stay in the narrator's voice. Or that might be just me.
The concept of how the Elements work was interesting, but I'm not sure I buy it as an effective treatment. Pain is a terrible teaching method, after all. Honestly, I'd expect something like that to do little more than drive the subject into madness, not cure them of a lack of empathy.
The biggest question I have is, what happened to the other Sunset? While, like Twilight, she could be living somewhere else in the EQG movies, here, she would still be Celestia's daughter, no?
5200565
Want my head cannon? Human version died a stillborn
5200634
Eh, I guess that works. I could have gone with lost in a custody battle with the father who then moved far away when she was still a baby... (only slightly less sad).
Huh, interesting. Looking forward to seeing what you do with this!
First chapter and there's already a twist!
Looking forward to the next chapter!
That's quite a surprise.
It's an idea I've played with in my own head at times. So far it seems very interesting and I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes. Especially finding out who Sunset's father is.
If you want my opinion, I've speculated that perhaps Sunset's father is the good Sombra that Celestia was in love with from the MLP comics "Reflections" arc. That's also why Sunset doesn't have a human counterpart. She's the child of two different universes.
TIL the night possesses Luna
That said, decent start. The reveal was not at all surprising; it was exactly what I expected. I just hope it goes somewhere interesting.
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5190543 ...Does this mean that you don't like it?
5200634 wrote : "Want my head cannon? Human version died a stillborn"
Mine is that she got turned into a vampire.
Wow, this changes everything. Does this mean that Sunny, Cady and Bluebits are cousins?
Fimfiction didn't tell me this had updated even though I'm tracking it >:-(
Dat double space.
That was pretty cute. I'm also glad you didn't rush through the flashback. Hopefully that sort of pacing keeps up.
Daaaaaw....
Subsequent thought: I also like the back story concerning how the Elements of Harmony work.
5251193 Yeah me too!
I think you mean "having".
But enough with Word Crimes.
It's funny how even a nigh all powerful, immortal alicorn princess suffers the pangs of childbirth.
Well this story is really picking up. I really want to know more about how all this led to what happened to Sunset Shimmer in Equestria Girls and all. It's interesting how Celestia has had children in the past. Does that mean there are descendants of these children prattling about somewhere. Is that where Equestria's noble houses come from? Is perhaps even Twilight distantly related to Celestia?
Anyway, I look forward to how this story develops. Keep up the good work.
Nice back story, and the phrase "my little sun" was quite blatant that they share a much deeper relationship then canon.
Wow. Nice pacing. Would be nice if Celestia could come to terms with the unknown stallion's death by the end of the story.
mores
The feels in this chapter
yes indeed